I was looking at Marjorie's instagram page and have read the stories of her past. I was thinking of women who have affairs and are labeled side chicks and such. I don't think men care about their background and status as much as women. I think if a man wants to be with you, he just does. It's not going to matter if you was a side chick or whatever. Some are perfectly happy with marrying that woman. Steve seems very content to have Marjorie and it looks like she spends his money well! LOL! I know woman who have sleep with men who are in the same circle and still friends and the dude will marry her. I think more and more, it is becoming the norm to see a man wife a woman he was creeping with. Women get labeled so often by men and are expected to conform to what they want. I really don't think these men stick to their own rubbish.
If he want you..he just want you!
- Thread starter syze6
- Start date
Yeah...they are known to say one thing and do another. I guess so much emphasis is put on a woman being a "main" "side-piece" thot and such, but yet these man marry or have long time relationships with that same woman. It seems that none of that matters if the man simply wants to be with you. I don't think men spend ANY time thinking about they were cheateing with a certain woman and is now with her. I think many women spend time and energy thinking about it. These men are just with how they want to be with, for however long. I know a girl had 5 children with a guy and just a couple of months ago MARRIED one of his guys!
The men are very respectful to each other, while others in the circle say it couldn't be them. I just think times have changed so much. I hear women argue with others over what they think a man is going to settle down with. Truth is the only one that really knows is him. I have seen the women who have been labeled the neighborhood pass around girl, marry and marry good! Hubby is well aware of her past engagements. LOL!
The men are very respectful to each other, while others in the circle say it couldn't be them. I just think times have changed so much. I hear women argue with others over what they think a man is going to settle down with. Truth is the only one that really knows is him. I have seen the women who have been labeled the neighborhood pass around girl, marry and marry good! Hubby is well aware of her past engagements. LOL!
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*CherryPie*
Well-Known Member
Men don't care about most of the stuff we talk about, and argue about on here. It's just women guessing and thinking we know what men want...and will do. But, we really don't know...just like men can't truly read women.
ckisland
Well-Known Member
It really, really is just that simple. It doesn't matter how uneducated, fat, ugly, poorly dressed, lazy, mean, and slutty a woman is, if a man wants her, no one will change his mind 
.
Do women really think that men don't catch feelings for side-chicks? Because they definitely do, and some would be surprised to find out she's the one who sent him back home
. But hey, if that makes ladies sleep better at night, keep on believing . A side-chick isn't a mythical creature anymore than a screw buddy or a girlfriend is. Women make up this monster that is the dreaded side-chick, but men know that they're like every other woman they've dealt with.
There are plenty of women, right now, in relationships with men who have no intentions of marrying them. Some are side-chicks, and many are girlfriends
.Do women really think that men don't catch feelings for side-chicks? Because they definitely do, and some would be surprised to find out she's the one who sent him back home
. But hey, if that makes ladies sleep better at night, keep on believing . A side-chick isn't a mythical creature anymore than a screw buddy or a girlfriend is. Women make up this monster that is the dreaded side-chick, but men know that they're like every other woman they've dealt with. There are plenty of women, right now, in relationships with men who have no intentions of marrying them. Some are side-chicks, and many are girlfriends
barbiesocialite
Well-Known Member
- racthet gets married as the same rate as bourgie.
- bad girls get married at the same rate as good girls.
- crazy emotionally unstable gets married at the same rate as sane.
- ugly buttafaces get married at the same rate as beauty queens.
- fat chicks get married at the same rate at model boney chicks.
- heauxs get married at the same rate at virgins.
- ged broke broads get married at the same rate as educated successful buppes.
- stanksarse b*shes get married at the same rate as polite nice sweet as pie.
Men don't care. Men like women.
Thats the wonderful privilege of being a woman all you have to do is be yourself. We don't have the pressure that men have. A chick can be the ish, ain't bout ish or full ish. Doesnt matter, the onus to prove worthiness is pretty much on the men. Unlike cerebral & detail oriented women, men are basic. like elementary arithmetic basic. Even the intelligent men are predictable and uncomplicated. boys to men---simple as hell. Expecting them to think about things before acting is asking for a lot. lol They'd rather just do it first deal with the consequences later. If a man like you he likes you. period. Doesnt even have to make sense or be a healthy decision because he hasnt even thought that far.
Steve probably barely knew his wife or had a real conversation with her before he decided she was the one. He probably just thought she was the most wonderful thing he'd ever seen. lol
it sux to be a man. I love being a woman.
ckisland
Well-Known Member
- racthet gets married as the same rate as bourgie.
- bad girls get married at the same rate as good girls.
- crazy emotionally unstable gets married at the same rate as sane.
- ugly buttafaces get married at the same rate as beauty queens.
- fat chicks get married at the same rate at model boney chicks.
- heauxs get married at the same rate at virgins.
- ged broke broads get married at the same rate as educated successful buppes.
- stanksarse b*shes get married at the same rate as polite nice sweet as pie.
Men don't care. Men like women.
Thats the wonderful privilege of being a woman all you have to do is be yourself. We don't have the pressure that men have. A chick can be the ish, ain't bout ish or full ish. Doesnt matter, the onus to prove worthiness is pretty much on the men. Unlike cerebral & detail oriented women, men are basic. like elementary arithmetic basic. Even the intelligent men are predictable and uncomplicated. boys to men---simple as hell. Expecting them to think about things before acting is asking for a lot. lol They'd rather just do it first deal with the consequences later. If a man like you he likes you. period. Doesnt even have to make sense or be a healthy decision because he hasnt even thought that far.
Steve probably barely knew his wife or had a real conversation with her before he decided she was the one. He probably just thought she was the most wonderful thing he'd ever seen. lol
it sux to be a man. I love being a woman.
Because thanks wasn't enough
Kimbosheart
Well-Known Member
Another reason why the best love advice is to take care of you first. Men are simple and there isn't much you can do to sway them when they've made it up in their head to like you or not. Just do you and the man will fall in line.
CurlyMoo
Well-Known Member
Women by nature are meant to be more discriminating and judgmental.
We bare the race, we select the man who will help us bring life into this world.
We are meant to screen these dudes so that we can bring healthy children into this world, thereby creating a healthy population. We are naturally drawn toward wealthy males who will be able to provide financial stability to the home. We are also naturally drawn toward physically fit male because not only is he visually pleasing to look at; he is able to defend her and her children against intruders thereby providing safety and sexual pleasure.
Men are the natural providers and protectors. Their needs are different.
They are naturally drawn toward a healthy, feminine, nurturing, physically fit, attractive woman who will aid in producing healthy children and bringing sexual pleasure.
We bare the race, we select the man who will help us bring life into this world.
We are meant to screen these dudes so that we can bring healthy children into this world, thereby creating a healthy population. We are naturally drawn toward wealthy males who will be able to provide financial stability to the home. We are also naturally drawn toward physically fit male because not only is he visually pleasing to look at; he is able to defend her and her children against intruders thereby providing safety and sexual pleasure.
Men are the natural providers and protectors. Their needs are different.
They are naturally drawn toward a healthy, feminine, nurturing, physically fit, attractive woman who will aid in producing healthy children and bringing sexual pleasure.
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luckiestdestiny
Well-Known Member
So are we all to run and be jump offs because men are okay with it? Or should we actually have some moral compass and try to do the right thing? I'm sure you're right, but also I think what kind of man. Usually they're not great catches, but then again neither are the jump offs so like attracts like. I think you get what you ask for, and align yourself with so to speak. So if you want the jump off life more power to you. You can "spend money" and compromise your integrity and values if that's your life's ambition but for me I want more than that.
barbiesocialite
Well-Known Member
The bolded is subjective and can depend on a number of factors.
First, a good catch isn't a good catch to everyone.
Secondly, know thyself. Every body isn't good with or knows how to deal with every personality. It's true you can't change anyone and most people are consistent will remain consistent not deviating far from who they've proven themselves to be/who you know them to be. The fact that perception of others, including their behavior, is subective means that individual reactions will be relative as well. Kangs will be kangs. However, that does not mean that every woman that chooses to be with him is a Quain--some are princesses, some chamber maids, some concubines then there are others that may be paupers or queens. These women behave differently, have different values and different demands. will be treated differently accordingly even by the same man. Kang or not reality is that you teach people how to treat you, get what you give with the final outcome determined by how well you can play that particularly game which boils down to compatibility and skill.
Beyond the importance of liking those who like you, people just need to stick to what they know. Some women set themselves up to be played. Every man isn't for every woman. But just because a man isn't for you doesnt automatically mean he's not for the next chick and she will have the same outcome of the woman before her. Every woman won't automatically be treated like crap or pampered like a queen. Nonetheless all women set the tone and establish the rules for what's to expected in the future. men simply adjust accordingly. It goes without being said that the way Majorie is treated vs the way Steve's ex-wife was treated is like night and day. Steve is the constant, the rest has less to do with him and more to do with the difference in women.
Majorie may have started out a jumpoff/mistress/whatever but she ddin't stay that way. Didn't seem like he spent much money on th ex-wife, Majorie is clearly spoiled. It's unclear how Steve felt about his ex-wife while with her but it's clear as day even a blind man can see he's loves and is absolutely smitten by Majorie. Same ole Steve, 2 different women. Evidently these women have different values and behaviors dictating dictating their relationships. Some may say Majorie is an immoral home wrecker lacking integrity for going after a married man. Then again, it could also be said the non-homewrecker ex equally lacks integrity including a low sense of self-worth resulting in the low standards that allowed her to settle and accept the bare minimum for years from a man proven to be capable of giving/doing/being more. Materialism may not be the ex's thing but evidently she didnt expect much before, didnt get much during the marriage and left with nothing after it was over when another woman stole her man then more than quadrupiling the ex's years of investment in less time with far less effort. Who's lacking in integrity here?
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MzLady78
Well-Known Member
Nobody is saying that at all.
Of course, no one should aspire to be the side-chick or the jump-off. I think the overall point is that men want who they want, even if the way they get her is less than ideal, and regardless of how the rest of the world views that woman.
People like to make things really black and white around here, and it's not. There are shades of gray. There are folks having affairs who are probably better for each other than the one they're with, they just didn't find that person first. Like ckisland said, there are men that actually fall in love with their side-chicks, and some even go on to have long, happy lives with them. People don't wanna believe that because it goes against everything they think SHOULD be true, but it happens.
To be clear- I'm not condoning it or saying the right thing to do isn't to sort your current situation out first, just saying life is unpredictable.
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Fine 4s
Well-Known Member
[*]racthet gets married as the same rate as bourgie. [*]bad girls get married at the same rate as good girls. [*]crazy emotionally unstable gets married at the same rate as sane. [*]ugly buttafaces get married at the same rate as beauty queens. [*]fat chicks get married at the same rate at model boney chicks. [*]heauxs get married at the same rate at virgins. [*]ged broke broads get married at the same rate as educated successful buppes. [*]stanksarse b*shes get married at the same rate as polite nice sweet as pie. Men don't care. Men like women.
My ex had all kinds of things to say about his ex and people agreed. In spite of all that info including cheating, lying he still ran back to her. While the sweet as pie healthy relationship, sane girl he was got the boot. He still has no idea why he's with her lol but says "he's going to ride it out." They don't analyze ish but the box.
Fine 4s
Well-Known Member
People don't want to believe that because they are scared it can happen to them. So, let's pull out the "morality" or the Bible and beat them with guilt. In the meanwhile heaux, side pieces and jump offs still winning. Live ya life!
People who are really gung ho about it might change their tune if it does happen to them.
I don't think life is s straight line but I keep my OWN moral compass. Not cause it means anything to anyone else but it means something to me. If poorly behaved and immoral people now run how everyone else thinks and acts....
luckiestdestiny
Well-Known Member
.....................................................
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luckiestdestiny
Well-Known Member
People who are really gung ho about it might change their tune if it does happen to them.
I don't think life is s straight line but I keep my OWN moral compass. Not cause it means anything to anyone else but it means something to me. If poorly behaved and immoral people now run how everyone else thinks and acts....[/QUOTE]
This was my point.I don't care what everyone else is doing, I do what I want instead of following what others are doing. And I just have a high moral compass and try to stick to it as best I can. I couldn't care about jump off love and their partners. Those types of guys I don't want in my life so I don't consider it a win. But good for them if they do. They can do what they want while I do what I want.
Usually to me when a guy doesn't care that's a problem...because some guys care about who they marry. That is the kind of guy I want in my life. Usually when someone lacks good judgment it carries on in other areas of their lives. We need to think about who we are attracting and why we want to be with them. Sure there are instances out of our control, or unexpected and nothing is perfect, but when you don't even try... I don't want that type of person who shrugs and throws caution to the wind all the time in reference to their values.
Hence why people were shocked about Amber's divorce from Wiz. I know she's not a jump off but they were actually shocked that Amber and a serial pot (and other drug) head with a baby couldn't stay together. You get what you get. Sometimes you pay for getting what you get by not getting what you want in the end. Yes a man wants what he wants. But what do you want? Sometimes they don't align. And what does he want. What kind of discretion is he using in his life? It says a lot about him.
You want to be equally yoked. If you like drinking till late at night and partying all the time, you can't be aligned with the quiet guy who likes reading books and doesn't drink or go out. There will be conflict every five seconds once married life tak s over. So I guess my point earlier was, though everyone wants to live a judgment free life, you have to use discretion in order to align yourself with a partner that will make you happy. So in other words if you're the type to be a jump off then you would of course be happy to attract a man who is okay with that and you can live happily ever after with a guy who has the same values as you. And if you're the type to avoid that, then maybe that type of guy isn't for you. Everything is not a win at all costs.
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LiftedUp
Well-Known Member
I think that it may be that simple for some men. But it's not as clear cut with many other men, at least the ones that I interact with. Men I know hold to a certain standard the women who they get into relationships with and a lot of them do not hold much weight to "side chicks". A lot of them laugh at the prospect of women who are "outside women" and think that they hold some sort of relationship status. Actually, thinking about it, at least the men that I know, it has a lot to do with their socialization growing up and the crowd that they interact now.
Fine 4s
Well-Known Member
Everyone has a moral compass including the heaux, jump offs and side pieces and even the murderer. They have their limits of what they will and won't do. These people could be great parents, philanthropists, preachers etc. we all have many sides.
The labels we put on each other and on those mentioned in this thread are supported by the women who want to separate themselves from the heaux etc. Funny because the same person judging or separating herself from "those" women, prolly is a reformed heaux lol
The men who love them will love them just as they are no matter the label.
The labels we put on each other and on those mentioned in this thread are supported by the women who want to separate themselves from the heaux etc. Funny because the same person judging or separating herself from "those" women, prolly is a reformed heaux lol
The men who love them will love them just as they are no matter the label.
CaraWalker
Well-Known Member
i have better relationships with men that i keep it 100 with without worrying about being labeled a ho or whatever. its not something i care to analyse, i just know being me without pretension has never been an obstacle; just the opposite in fact.
luckiestdestiny
Well-Known Member
The bolded is subjective and can depend on a number of factors.
First, a good catch isn't a good catch to everyone.
Secondly, know thyself. Every body isn't good with or knows how to deal with every personality. It's true you can't change anyone and most people are consistent will remain consistent not deviating far from who they've proven themselves to be/who you know them to be. The fact that perception of others, including their behavior, is subective means that individual reactions will be relative as well. Kangs will be kangs. However, that does not mean that every woman that chooses to be with him is a Quain--some are princesses, some chamber maids, some concubines then there are others that may be paupers or queens. These women behave differently, have different values and different demands. will be treated differently accordingly even by the same man. Kang or not reality is that you teach people how to treat you, get what you give with the final outcome determined by how well you can play that particularly game which boils down to compatibility and skill.
Beyond the importance of liking those who like you, people just need to stick to what they know. Some women set themselves up to be played. Every man isn't for every woman. But just because a man isn't for you doesnt automatically mean he's not for the next chick and she will have the same outcome of the woman before her. Every woman won't automatically be treated like crap or pampered like a queen. Nonetheless all women set the tone and establish the rules for what's to expected in the future. men simply adjust accordingly. It goes without being said that the way Majorie is treated vs the way Steve's ex-wife was treated is like night and day. Steve is the constant, the rest has less to do with him and more to do with the difference in women.
Majorie may have started out a jumpoff/mistress/whatever but she ddin't stay that way. Didn't seem like he spent much money on th ex-wife, Majorie is clearly spoiled. It's unclear how Steve felt about his ex-wife while with her but it's clear as day even a blind man can see he's loves and is absolutely smitten by Majorie. Same ole Steve, 2 different women. Evidently these women have different values and behaviors dictating dictating their relationships. Some may say Majorie is an immoral home wrecker lacking integrity for going after a married man. Then again, it could also be said the non-homewrecker ex equally lacks integrity including a low sense of self-worth resulting in the low standards that allowed her to settle and accept the bare minimum for years from a man proven to be capable of giving/doing/being more. Materialism may not be the ex's thing but evidently she didnt expect much before, didnt get much during the marriage and left with nothing after it was over when another woman stole her man then more than quadrupiling the ex's years of investment in less time with far less effort. Who's lacking in integrity here?
I agree with you on catches. A good catch for one, isn't a good catch for all. When I said good catches I meant for me because I can't speak for everyone else.
As for Steve Ex:
Some women become doormats. I'm guessing Steve's ex bent over backwards but had a low sense of self worth. She could've talked a big game but did not back it on the things that matter, or only on some things but not others. To me that's different because she could possibly have a high compass, but a low sense of self worth whereas jump off had a low compass and high sense of self worth. EVERYONE should have a high sense of self worth and demand the best. People are attracted to others with healthy self esteem. But again that means that maybe she should be with someone different than Steve anyways too. Not everyone is meant to be together.
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Fine 4s
Well-Known Member
But who says a jump off has to have a low moral compass?
luckiestdestiny
Well-Known Member
Are we really going there? Bestiality isn't a low moral compass either. We can do anything and everything...right? Everyone has a high moral compass let's all do a happy dance. You can't take words and manipulate their meaning. Things are what they are. Own it. If you want to do certain things, do them but you can't twist them to be what they aren't:
mor·al
ˈmôrəl/
adjective
adjective: moral
- 1.
concerned with the principles of right and wrong behavior and the goodness of human character.
"the moral dimensions of medical intervention"
synonyms:virtuous, good, righteous, upright, upstanding, high-minded, principled, honorable, honest, just, noble, incorruptible, scrupulous, respectable, decent, clean-living, law-abiding "a moral man"
antonyms:dishonorable
- concerned with or derived from the code of interpersonal behavior that is considered right or acceptable in a particular society.
"an individual's ambitions may get out of step with the general moral code"
synonyms:ethical, social, having to do with right and wrong "moral issues"
- examining the nature of ethics and the foundations of good and bad character and conduct.
"moral philosophers"
- concerned with or derived from the code of interpersonal behavior that is considered right or acceptable in a particular society.
- 2.
holding or manifesting high principles for proper conduct.
"he prides himself on being a highly moral and ethical person"
noun: moral; plural noun: morals
- 1.
a lesson, especially one concerning what is right or prudent, that can be derived from a story, a piece of information, or an experience.
"the moral of this story was that one must see the beauty in what one has"
synonyms:lesson, message, meaning, significance, signification, import, point, teaching "the moral of the story"
Apologies, I have a sarcastic sense of humor that doesn't come out all the time in writing. I'm more like,really? And amused when responding. BUT I do mean what I say. I have a pet peeve of people moving the yard stick to fit whatever they want it to fit. It is what it is. Just be okay with what you're doing. Red is red, Grey is Grey. I"m not going to say Grey is Blue just because someone wearing blue is saying they feel judged when I say they are wearing Blue when they are wearing Blue. I mean come on it's an observation of reality.
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luckiestdestiny
Well-Known Member
duplicate.........
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MissJ
Well-Known Member
If the woman on the side is an upgrade, the man is likely trying to replace the wife.
*CherryPie*
Well-Known Member
Kimbosheart
Well-Known Member
Y'all done simplified it and then made it complicated again. People like order. It's cool.
Some thoughts:
A. We don't know the intricacies of the relationship between Steve and his first wife, and him and Marjorie. My wild crazy guess, is maybe Steve and the first wife were both settling but the ex is bitter because she didn't break first.
B. All that to say... I will always be the voice of 100% advocacy of a woman being truly selfish and loving herself completely and first.
- Law of Attraction: not hookie saying LOA but literally "Like attracts like" and when I'm loving myself completely, making sacrifices to make sure my well being is intact, and completely respecting myself and letting go of hangups and having fun...I attract people to do the same in whatever package they are in. Also when I'm that nice to myself it spills over and I'm able to be all that for other people I care about and love. I'm also so much easier for others to love and spoil.
- People who can't treat you the way you treat yourself, naturally will fall out of your life.
- A lot less conflict. I respect the contradictions in me so much I don't need any validation from the outside. And since I don't need that validation, when someone is trying to bring me down it barely registers. I'm learning it ain't about me. I also don't waste too much time analyzing someone else's decisions to validate them. Most of my comments are speculative and then some observation but I try very hard to not judge.
So all that to say, IMO religion, morality, subjective catch's all that is secondary to the first, which is taking care of me.
Trick is: keeping this self-love thing up and not forgetting what I've learned, learning what works best for me and forgiving myself when I forget. Oh yea, and keeping myself constant when times, situations and people vary. Long term thinking: value calls on my options. It's taken some knocks to get to this realization so all this is 2014 new, I've just been making observations. I've thought about starting a thread on this to see what other people do/think in this area.
Some thoughts:
A. We don't know the intricacies of the relationship between Steve and his first wife, and him and Marjorie. My wild crazy guess, is maybe Steve and the first wife were both settling but the ex is bitter because she didn't break first.
B. All that to say... I will always be the voice of 100% advocacy of a woman being truly selfish and loving herself completely and first.
- Law of Attraction: not hookie saying LOA but literally "Like attracts like" and when I'm loving myself completely, making sacrifices to make sure my well being is intact, and completely respecting myself and letting go of hangups and having fun...I attract people to do the same in whatever package they are in. Also when I'm that nice to myself it spills over and I'm able to be all that for other people I care about and love. I'm also so much easier for others to love and spoil.
- People who can't treat you the way you treat yourself, naturally will fall out of your life.
- A lot less conflict. I respect the contradictions in me so much I don't need any validation from the outside. And since I don't need that validation, when someone is trying to bring me down it barely registers. I'm learning it ain't about me. I also don't waste too much time analyzing someone else's decisions to validate them. Most of my comments are speculative and then some observation but I try very hard to not judge.
So all that to say, IMO religion, morality, subjective catch's all that is secondary to the first, which is taking care of me.
Trick is: keeping this self-love thing up and not forgetting what I've learned, learning what works best for me and forgiving myself when I forget. Oh yea, and keeping myself constant when times, situations and people vary. Long term thinking: value calls on my options. It's taken some knocks to get to this realization so all this is 2014 new, I've just been making observations. I've thought about starting a thread on this to see what other people do/think in this area.
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