If a guy said this....

[carnivalapple]

If you were minding your own business, reading your Victoria's Secret catalogue and a very cute guy says "You need to put that down before I start thinking about us." What in the world would you say or think?

Mind you, that you've been friendly with this guy (he's not a stranger) and you used to work in the same area. He gave you rides before and always perks/smiles when he sees you and on that same night teased you about distracting him from his work and offered you a hug.

The guy consensus seems to be "He wants to f*** the girl" or "he's attracted to her"

What's the female view? The guy is in his early 20s btw.

 

[greight]

If you were minding your own business, reading your Victoria's Secret catalogue and a very cute guy says "You need to put that down before I start thinking about us." What in the world would you say or think?

Mind you, that you've been friendly with this guy (he's not a stranger) and you used to work in the same area. He gave you rides before and always perks/smiles when he sees you and on that same night teased you about distracting him from his work and offered you a hug.

The guy consensus seems to be "He wants to f*** the girl" or "he's attracted to her"

What's the female view? The guy is in his early 20s btw.

He trynna smash, only. And this goes for all ages of men who do this.

 

[TayMac]

He trynna smash, only. And this goes for all ages of men who do this.

This. Most definitely.

What else would a lingerie catalog make a man think of?

 

[BonBon]

He is attracted and wants sex only.

At the end of the day a most men want to **** an attractive woman they have spent some time around. IMO 90% of the time, the level of respect they have while talking to you will point to what context they would like to do that in.

I don't view bringing up the two of us having sex before even dating is respectful at all. Although I suspect it works on some women. Well I know it does because I remember the best looking guys when I was younger using these lines and they would do pretty well.

 

[ChasingBliss]

Actually it sickens me. Mostly that most women would find this appealing and jump right in. Not a compliment dude. We are not talking like that, we are not in a any relationship and you're coming at me like that and thinking it's a compliment to me (no doubt). Many women would bite...this is why most dudes will try to say any ole nastiness to a woman, and as long as it is showing her that he's attracted (dont even matter if it's ONLY sexual), she feels like a dern queen. Ugh!

 

[God_Favor]

I would think he was spitting game trying to flatter me to get sex.

Sent from my Samsung Galaxy III using LHCF

 

[carnivalapple]

Thank you all for the input. Now, adding on.... What if you were attached? Like, very attached (read married). Would you categorize him as a douchebag for saying that to you? Would you tell him off or just make sure never to go around him again?

I guess what I'm asking is whether it is innocent or potentially harmful...?

 

[God_Favor]

Eta: just re read

Sent from my Samsung Galaxy III using LHCF

 

[ChasingBliss]

Thank you all for the input. Now, adding on.... What if you were attached? Like, very attached (read married). Would you categorize him as a douchebag for saying that to you? Would you tell him off or just make sure never to go around him again?

I guess what I'm asking is whether it is innocent or potentially harmful...?

Yes.

It's potentially harmful.

 

[hopeful]

Thank you all for the input. Now, adding on.... What if you were attached? Like, very attached (read married). Would you categorize him as a douchebag for saying that to you? Would you tell him off or just make sure never to go around him again?

I guess what I'm asking is whether it is innocent or potentially harmful...?

Douchebag? Maybe. Tell him off? No. Never be around him? Is that possible? Now you know he's crossing the line, so quit the hugs and overly friendly stuff, keep it cool and professional. If he says something like that again, just say I'm married, that's disrespectful to me and my husband and KIM. Oh and is it innocent? No. Potentially harmful? Only if you let it be.

 

[Pat Mahurr]

He's kidding...unless you're interested, in which case he's serious. Horny, available and serious. He's just putting it out there. (see footnote)

You know, we women sometimes think too hard when we try to interpret what men say. Decide how YOU feel and make THAT known.



Footnote:

"I gotta a friend with a pole in the basement (What?)​

I'm just kiddin' like Jason (Oh)​

Unless you gon' do it" ~ paraphrased from Nelly's "Hot in Herre"​

 

[intergalacticartist]

I wouldn't think too much of it. Some people are just flirts.

 

[hopeful]

Also, maybe not look at Victoria Secret catalogs at work, if you were at work, that could be seen as unprofessional IMO.

 

[Kalani]

Call me old-fashioned but I would find that comment to be extremely innappropriate and disrespectful. I'd shut that down real quick.

 

[carnivalapple]

I wouldn't think too much of it. Some people are just flirts.

Thank you^^ that's what I was thinking.

Only the guy has a job, it was at his place of work.

And he's well aware of the marriage (and child)...>_<

 

[God_Favor]

Are you feeling him or attracted to him? Men flirt with married women every min of the day. If you have some sort if feelings stay away from him. If you were offended you should juat let him kniw.

Sent from my Samsung Galaxy III using LHCF

 

[Hairsnob]

He's a man and I think any man would say something like thaf if they saw you reading it because sex is all they think about. However.......

I wouldn't want a man to see me reading that because I think it kind of opens it up that you want to talk about that. Remember now, this is how THEY think, not us. I wouldn't want to start a sexual convo with a guy so I'd make sure he didn't see it. I'm funny like that though and people say I overthink things. But that's me.

So in otherwords, you're opening the door to make him think of you that way if he sees you reading it.

 

[ladylibra_30]

I would think he is a presumptuous little shyt.

 

[Makenzie]

I wouldn't think too much of it. Some people are just flirts.

Thank you^^ that's what I was thinking.

Only the guy has a job, it was at his place of work.

And he's well aware of the marriage (and child)...>_<

I disagree. OP, him knowing you are married with a child makes no difference to him. He's testing his boundaries with you. When I was married I didn't allow men to speak to me like that. IMO that sort of talk is disrespectful to my marriage. It was my job to show how serious i took my marriage. I didn't rely on the fact others knew i was married.

 

[carnivalapple]

Are you feeling him or attracted to him? Men flirt with married women every min of the day. If you have some sort if feelings stay away from him. If you were offended you should juat let him kniw.

Sent from my Samsung Galaxy III using LHCF

I have no talent in subtly. It is someone I'm attracted to and when my husband and I werent doing so well, I confessed that I was and my husband said "Go for it" in hopes of divorcing me -__- it's not like that anymore though...
Still I can't help but think about him. I even let him know that my character in my story is completely modeled after him. My mom says she hears the smile in my voice when I talk about him. I want to see him more often no matter what I should do. This isn't very good. I rationalize it with the thought that he just says whatever comes to his brain w/o a filter (that hes only interested in making me look like a bumbling idiot) and the fact that he's so out of my league if I were single. He's hot...and I'm...me=/

 

[FrazzledFraggle]

I have no talent in subtly. It is someone I'm attracted to and when my husband and I werent doing so well, I confessed that I was and my husband said "Go for it" in hopes of divorcing me -__- it's not like that anymore though...
Still I can't help but think about him. I even let him know that my character in my story is completely modeled after him. My mom says she hears the smile in my voice when I talk about him. I want to see him more often no matter what I should do. This isn't very good. I rationalize it with the thought that he just says whatever comes to his brain w/o a filter (that hes only interested in making me look like a bumbling idiot) and the fact that he's so out of my league if I were single. He's hot...and I'm...me=/

You have no genuine feelings for that man. It's a combination of dopamine, phenylethylamine and oxytocin - basically your mind playing tricks on you.

Copied and pasted from previous thread:

Love, like all emotions, changes and evolves over time. When we first "fall in love," we feel euphoric. Our mutual fascination transforms the most trivial activities into meaningful moments.

After a few years, when the initial euphoria tapers off in a relationship, we are supposed to settle into a deeper, more intimate relationship (I'm talking about your DH here). Sometimes, however, when people sense the cool-down, they panic because they think that euphoric feeling they mistake for love is wearing off.

It is a fact that people who are "smitten" produce a high level of chemicals like dopamine, phenylethylamine and oxytocin. Dopamine is the hormone that is making you feel an erotic high when you see him. Other symptoms related to dopamine are dilated pupils, heart racing, slight perspiration, as well as euphoria and craving all of which you have described.

It is important to realize that the chemicals released by the brain act exactly like drugs. With time, the brain becomes more tolerant and the euphoric feeling slowly disappears. If you do not recognize that these initial feelings of euphoria cannot be sustained indefinitely in a relationship, you will forever chase these "highs" by stepping out with someone else.

If you are having problems with your DH you need to address it with him. Until then, leave this other man alone.

You're married and if you value you're marriage at all you won't entertain his foolish advances.

 

[God_Favor]

I have no talent in subtly. It is someone I'm attracted to and when my husband and I werent doing so well, I confessed that I was and my husband said "Go for it" in hopes of divorcing me -__- it's not like that anymore though...
Still I can't help but think about him. I even let him know that my character in my story is completely modeled after him. My mom says she hears the smile in my voice when I talk about him. I want to see him more often no matter what I should do. This isn't very good. I rationalize it with the thought that he just says whatever comes to his brain w/o a filter (that hes only interested in making me look like a bumbling idiot) and the fact that he's so out of my league if I were single. He's hot...and I'm...me=/

Oh. Dang. So them sweet words had some meaning, lol. It all makes sense now. You gonna have to stay away from the temptation ......

The op sounded a little random, but this is not. He is not being random. He is coming on to you...

Sent from my Samsung Galaxy III using LHCF

 

[Haymarket]

Well how did it make you feel? It would depend on the moment to me, whether the reaction is a slap or a quick, quirky comeback. Like "Hey I saw a nice red thong that would really compliment your skin tone on page 3!l

Sometimes I banter, sometimes I would just ignore ...

Sent from my Galaxy... Whichever one I am on at this time

 

[BEAUTYU2U]

That was a corny arse line.

ETA: I went back and read the responses. Oh hell, OP, you dancing hard on that line. You have to believe that you're the treasure, not him. Why else would he want you? Because you're someone else's.

 

[Kindheart]

Editing after reading OP second post .

Look dear OP ,
If you told him what you like or dislike he s gonna be who you want him to be in order to get in bed with you ,if he doesn't respect the fact your married do you honestly believe he s going to respect himself as a husband ?
I can guarantee you this won't go anywhere ,he sees you as a vulnerable and gullible attractive woman and trying to come at you . Look ,you re daydreaming about him wanting Godknowswhat from a lame 1 liner.
I m talking to you as a friend because i understand what you going through ,don't let this man take advantage of you ,respct yourself as a woman and as a mother first. It would be also very akward to see him at work once he used you .

I hope you won't fall for this. Stay strong sis.

 

[CurlyMoo]

Flirt back. He's only talking trash. So I wouldn't take it serious.

He probably has a wife at home. smh

 

[carnivalapple]

Thank you guys for all your advice, it was really helpful.

__edit.
sorry, can't allow the rest to be on here.

 

[hopeful]

:buttkick::hardslap:

Is that enough? But seriously, why don't you just separate or get a divorce and just have your fun? You don't sound invested in being and staying married. Marriage isn't for everyone.

 

[carnivalapple]

__edit. edit. edit.

^Thanks for your advice though