I thought this was a forum for women to...

[brownsugar9999]

encourage one another? Constructive criticism is a must when you seek opinion from others in search of common goals, but ugly comments are counter productive. Again, it's subjective. What one person finds beautiful, another may find grotesque. But what do we gain by belittling others? This was in my Fotki:

Sorry to inform you, but this bleached blonde hair is really tired. It looks harsh and unhealthy. I can't understand why black women do this to themselves. It really looks ridiculous. Why have a great length and such an ugly color? I am sure you only wanted comments that are in agreement with you, but this is really ugly.
______________________________________________________-
No, I don't expect all comments in agreement with my own, but whatever happened to grace? I have no problem with the opinion put foward, but the personal attack is unnecessary. I found it to be a bit childish.
Fine...It's not on your head, but why would you interject with that last comment? Keep in mind...my husband likes it, as well do I. We're the only two people paying the bills around here, so that's all that matters. But I do believe that as a group of women of color, this could have been worded with a little more tact and Christian grace. I can't make anyone like my hair, but I appreciate all of the healthy ideas and suggestions given.

 

[caligirl]

Wow, tell me how you REALLY feel. There are ways of saying criticisms nicely and this was not one of those ways.

 

[brownsugar9999]

Wow, tell me how you REALLY feel. There are ways of saying criticisms nicely and this was not one of those ways.

I can handle criticism...but if I didn't like something about this or that, I would have commented politely on the health issue of it and kept my personal attack to myself.

 

[determine3]

Hey girl, as we say in Jamaica "don't watch no face!"

I don't know why people would even take the time to post something so rude.....I put it to, to much time on their hands. I am amazed that you can have hair so long and healthy with your color! My hats off to you for being able to do so. You are a great example of how as women of color, we are not limited. Keep doing what you do, you look great.

As for the person who made that comment, if your attempt was to make constructive criticism, you failed yourself and brownsugar temendously!

 

[JewelleNY]

I see that happen a lot on other people's albums as well and I am wondering why do people do this???? I then have to realize that there are going to be ignorant people everywhere and the best you can do is to ignore them. I find that the majority of people on this board are respectful and helpful with their comments. Who knows, that may have been a bald-headed, depressed chick with nothing better to do than to make you feel bad because your hair is long and pretty.

 

[brownsugar9999]

Hey girl, as we say in Jamaica "don't watch no face!"

I don't know why people would even take the time to post something so rude.....I put it to, to much time on their hands. I am amazed that you can have hair so long and healthy with your color! My hats off to you for being able to do so. You are a great example of how as women of color, we are not limited. Keep doing what you do, you look great.

As for the person who made that comment, if your attempt was to make constructive critism, you failed yourself and brownsugar temendously!

Thank you.
I can only beleive that she didn't intend to make it personal. No reason to...we don't kknow each other at all. But I only hope they will freely converse back and forth with me in this forum. All criticism is good is some shape or form

 

[brownsugar9999]

I see that happen a lot on other people's albums as well and I am wondering why do people do this???? I then have to realize that there are going to be ignorant people everywhere and the best you can do is to ignore them. I find that the majority of people on this board are respectful and helpful with their comments. Who knows, that may have been a bald-headed, depressed chick with nothing better to do than to make you feel bad because your hair is long and pretty.

'

After re-reading it, I really don't think she meant to be this harsh...maybe it just came out that way

 

[byrdmail]

I agree. If that person does not think your hair color flatters you, then she could have said it with a bit more tact (or she could have kept her comments to herself). This forum is about encouragement and inspiration...and not about trying tear people or "black women" down with ugly comments. If this person can't provide constructive criticism then, maybe she needs to find another fourm.

 

[sylver2]

encourage one another? Constructive criticism is a must when you seek opinion from others in search of common goals, but ugly comments are counter productive. Again, it's subjective. What one person finds beautiful, another may find grotesque. But what do we gain by belittling others? This was in my Fotki:

Sorry to inform you, but this bleached blonde hair is really tired. It looks harsh and unhealthy. I can't understand why black women do this to themselves. It really looks ridiculous. Why have a great length and such an ugly color? I am sure you only wanted comments that are in agreement with you, but this is really ugly.
______________________________________________________-
No, I don't expect all comments in agreement with my own, but whatever happened to grace? I have no problem with the opinion put foward, but the personal attack is unnecessary. I found it to be a bit childish.
Fine...It's not on your head, but why would you interject with that last comment? Keep in mind...my husband likes it, as well do I. We're the only two people paying the bills around here, so that's all that matters. But I do believe that as a group of women of color, this could have been worded with a little more tact and Christian grace. I can't make anyone like my hair, but I appreciate all of the healthy ideas and suggestions given.

I know how you feel, A person recently left this comment in my Fokti:
"Nice weave-where do you buy your hair from"
They know I don't have one and was clearly trying to be a B!!
Now I keep fokti LOCKED -PW needed.

and yes, it is a difference between criticism and straight out just being a B or mean.

 

[RainbowCurls]

I think she's just jealous or has very boring opinions.
I've seen your album and the hair colour suits you

 

[brownsugar9999]

I agree. If that person does not think your hair color flatters you, then she could have said it with a bit more tact (or she could have kept her comments to herself). This forum is about encouragement and inspiration...and not about trying tear people or "black women" down with ugly comments. If this person can't provide constructive criticism then, maybe she needs to find another fourm.

I deleted it from my fotki...not because of the commnet...everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but b/c it had their name on it, and I wouldn't want others to see it and think her a mean spirited person. Still young... God bless her anyhow...she has a beutiful head of hair and I applaud her for weaning herselff off of color. Me...can't do it...not yet! Life is too short to live the same day twice!!!

 

[RainbowCurls]

Hmm... so she's weaned herself off hair colour, so now is all 'colour is bad'? A bit hypocritical maybe?

 

[patient1]

Ignore it. Glad you vented here. Please don't close down your album or anything like that because of this. This is one apple on the tree.

Let it go. Maybe adding to your stash will help lighten your load!! LOL!

All the best,
p1

e to delete a few adjectives and to say, I'm surprised the person left their name. That's unusual. Most would be cowardly about it. The other thing is that words like "ridiculous", "ugly", and "tired" sound judgmental. I don't think this person had good intentions when they left that message.

 

[determine3]

Hmm... so she's weaned herself off hair colour, so now is all 'colour is bad'? A bit hypocritical maybe?

^^^^^^^^ I agree with above.

I'm sorry, this time i'm not budging! That's why i'm so afraid to make an album here. A comment like that would have had me staring at my self in the mirror weilding a pair of rusty scissors

My hats off to you (again) for being so forgiving but I think that was uncalled for.

 

[caligirl]

I know how you feel, A person recently left this comment in my Fokti:
"Nice weave-where do you buy your hair from"
They know I don't have one and was clearly trying to be a B!!
Now I keep fokti LOCKED -PW needed.

and yes, it is a difference between criticism and straight out just being a B or mean.

The green-eyed monster is on the loose...

 

[sylver2]

e to delete a few adjectives and to say, I'm surprised the person left their name. That's unusual. Most would be cowardly about it. The other thing is that words like "ridiculous", "ugly", and "tired" sound judgmental. I don't think this person had good intentions when they left that message.

Cosign!!!!

 

[lala]

brownsugar999 --- I'm sorry that your feelings were hurt, I do feel that anyone who would make such a comment (no matter how old they are) was clearly trying to be insulting. I'm not sure why the color of your hair is something anyone should be so critical or concerned about. When I hear comments like these, it is usually indicative of low self esteem. It's a shame...

And sylver2, keep slinging that beautiful hair of yours -- you know what's up...

 

[determine3]

Nice weave-where do you buy your hair from"

Off topic though, I can't wait until someone accuses my hair of being weave. That's a compliment in my book Sylver, do your thang girl!!!

 

[brownsugar9999]

I know how you feel, A person recently left this comment in my Fokti:
"Nice weave-where do you buy your hair from"
They know I don't have one and was clearly trying to be a B!!
Now I keep fokti LOCKED -PW needed.

and yes, it is a difference between criticism and straight out just being a B or mean.

Bleaching isn't for everyone..the same w/ relazing, pressing, fros or what have you...but there's no need to be ugly about it. As a matter of fact, it really confuses people how HEALTHY and elastic and soft my hair is..it's because I know what I do is damaging, so I take the extra effort to care for it b4 it turns to crap.
Thanx for understanding...
I hope she just posted it wrong or typed b4 thinking it thru. Unless you pay my bills, I can't worry about how my ridiculous bleached hair affects you. Now start sending me some $$$$, we can can talk about change!
If her comment was aimed at the health of my hair, that's different...beauty is subjective

 

[brownsugar9999]

^^^^^^^^ I agree with above.

I'm sorry, this time i'm not budging! That's why i'm so afraid to make an album here. A comment like that would have had me staring at my self in the mirror weilding a pair of rusty scissors

My hats off to you (again) for being so forgiving but I think that was uncalled for.

You know what?? Being the only black in my nursing class, as well as Validictorian amongst a bunch of haters has taught me that if you can't believe in yourself, everyone who recognizes this weakness will use it against you. My God approves of me...nothing more needed. God loves her too...all of us...that's why we awoke this morning. I don't need to follow suit and make comments back to her. It didn't hurt me at all..it just surprised me that in a site where unity is promoted, one person who has been a member for quite a while would say something as insensitive as this. Had I have been a person who questions myself, I would have faltered, been pset even. But all I can do is love her and continue to promote the great work she has done w/ her own hair.
Sticks and stones...

 

[brownsugar9999]

Off topic though, I can't wait until someone accuses my hair of being weave. That's a compliment in my book Sylver, do your thang girl!!!

Hello??? Girl....I'm just trying to be accused of a WIG first!!!

 

[devin]

you know there is a such thing as tact and she obviously did not practice any when attempting what i assume she thought was constructive criticism. it is ashame that people can never just be happy or praise one another for our efforts, but instead bring each other down. sorry for the attack on you, but like you said it only matters what God, you and your husband think.

 

[brownsugar9999]

Ignore it. Glad you vented here. Please don't close down your album or anything like that because of this. This is one apple on the tree.

Let it go. Maybe adding to your stash will help lighten your load!! LOL!

All the best,
p1

e to delete a few adjectives and to say, I'm surprised the person left their name. That's unusual. Most would be cowardly about it. The other thing is that words like "ridiculous", "ugly", and "tired" sound judgmental. I don't think this person had good intentions when they left that message.

Thanks, but a few nasty words can't touch me...I've been called worse...and by people who KNOW AND LOVE ME!!!! So athis is water off the proverbial duck's back. I just thought that this issue should be brought to light, in case some, like Sylver confirmed, suffered the same and was hurt by it. Means nothing. Hell...I don't like the way my husband eats, but.....

 

[brownsugar9999]

you know there is a such thing as tact and she obviously did not practice any when attempting what i assume she thought was constructive criticism. it is ashame that people can never just be happy or praise one another for our efforts, but instead bring each other down. sorry for the attack on you, but like you said it only matters what God, you and your husband think.

Thank you oh lucious locks!!

 

[brownsugar9999]

brownsugar999 --- I'm sorry that your feelings were hurt, I do feel that anyone who would make such a comment (no matter how old they are) was clearly trying to be insulting. I'm not sure why the color of your hair is something anyone should be so critical or concerned about. When I hear comments like these, it is usually indicative of low self esteem. It's a shame...

And sylver2, keep slinging that beautiful hair of yours -- you know what's up...

Thank you for your concern, but I was the only Black in almost all of my activities, as well as the only Black RN in the Trauma/ER ward here, so a few hair comments from a fellow sister isn't gonna do much but make me shake my head and compliment her for her candor.

 

[Trini"T"]

Yeah Sylver I saw that comment in your Fotki and I figured that was why you locked it. You really went off on the person though . You probably made the person want to kill themself . On a more serious note I can tell you took it really hard because your hair is so long and healthy hence you have put in a lot of time and effort to get it that way.

Brownsugar at least your perpitrator had the decency to leave their name. Sylver's perpitrator was a coward and left their comment under Anonymous

 

[Super_Hero_Girl]

I deleted it from my fotki...not because of the commnet...everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but b/c it had their name on it, and I wouldn't want others to see it and think her a mean spirited person. Still young... God bless her anyhow...she has a beutiful head of hair and I applaud her for weaning herselff off of color. Me...can't do it...not yet! Life is too short to live the same day twice!!!

Brownsugar9999, you are good. Still being kind and thinking of others after they were rude to you. You are someone to be admire. I've seen quite a few albums get closed (permanetly and temporarily) because of hateful compliments. I applaud you for having so much tact and confidence. I'm glad you aren't letting that person affect you in a negative way. Continue to do whats best for you and brush the haters off. You are handling this very well.

Also, I've noticed that it's always some of the best albums that get the haters. Hmmm......

 

[devin]

LOL! Your welcome oh silky one!

Thank you oh lucious locks!!

 

[brownsugar9999]

Yeah Sylver I saw that comment in your Fotki and I figured that was why you locked it. You really went off on the person though . You probably made the person want to kill themself . On a more serious note I can tell you took it really hard because your hair is so long and healthy hence you have put in a lot of time and effort to get it that way.

Brownsugar at least your perpitrator had the decency to leave their name. Sylver's perpitrator was a coward and left their comment under Anonymous

I think I would have liked to read that one *shame on me* but I had to do some back tracking b/c the name they left it under is different than what it is in the LHCF.
Sylver...let them say what they will...you're a beautiful girl and YOU know what it took to care for your tresses.......keep up the good work. That coward was jealous of you.....life is too short to hate your "sister". It's hard enough being black in the rest of the world, but here in a 'safw haven'? That sucks

 

[brownsugar9999]

Brownsugar9999, you are good. Still being kind and thinking of others after they were rude to you. You are someone to be admire. I've seen quite a few albums get closed (permanetly and temporarily) because of hateful compliments. I applaud you for having so much tact and confidence. I'm glad you aren't letting that person affect you in a negative way. Continue to do whats best for you and brush the haters off. You are handling this very well.

Also, I've noticed that it's always some of the best albums that get the haters. Hmmm......

Hey, all it's going to make me do it DYE IT AGAIN!!!! Hey, you want to hurt MY feelings? Start sending me money and then STOP. Feelings will be WAAAAY hurt.
ps...LUV your color and the shape of your hair. Did you cut it to be balanced like that? It's smashing!