I think this is wrong...

D

dyh080

Well-Known Member
But call me old fashioned.
(1)If a man meets a woman who lives 1000 miles away and soonafter invites her to attend his job's party and awards ceremony, should he offer to to pay her airfare?
(2) if the woman has family and a successful career should she relocate to live with the man who makes half as much and start all over because he doesn't want to leave his state even though all of his family lives in her state?

(3)the man wants the woman to split his mortgage payments and I guess other bills with him if she moves. Should she?


The above people are real. Both of them are in their early forties. the woman is divorced and the man has never married. they are engaged.I know the guy....he is a family friend. Personally I think he is a bit stubborn and lacking in chivalry.
 
dyh080 said:
But call me old fashioned.
(1)If a man meets a woman who lives 1000 miles away and soonafter invites her to attend his job's party and awards ceremony, should he offer to to pay her airfare?
(2) if the woman has family and a successful career should she relocate to live with the man who makes half as much and start all over because he doesn't want to leave his state even though all of his family lives in her state?

(3)the man wants the woman to split his mortgage payments and I guess other bills with him if she moves. Should she?

The above people are real. Both of them are in their early forties. the woman is divorced and the man has never married. they are engaged.I know the guy....he is a family friend. Personally I think he is a bit stubborn and lacking in chivalry.
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Uhhh hell naw to all the questions

1) if you want me to attend the function you need to buy the ticket to the event and get me there. Ill cover my dress shoes makeup and hair. You want me to spend $500+ to attend a party and award ceremony. Is the award a Grammy? Academy award? Nobel peace prize? No? Ok then you need to pay for me to get there or you can just email me the pics afterwards.

2) I want to say he's dumb for suggesting this and she's dumb for considering it. I wouldn't do this. Be jobless just so I can move to be with you who is making half of what I make? You betta bring your a$$ to where I am.

BUT in this day and age maybe this IS the step that need to be taken to get that ring.

I'd never do this. It just doesn't make logical and economical sense to me and will be a point of contention down the road for them if they ever have any problems especially financial problems.

3)um are they in a relationship or are they roommates? I do not agree with relationships/married people splitting stuff down the middle. Now, do I think she should be living there free? No. She need to contribute to the household she is living in. So yes she should be paying for some stuff(like cover and do all the grocery shopping, pay for the weekly maid service, etc). But telling me for me to move in with you, take that next step in our life together, its gonna cost me half the mortgage and I HAVe to split the bill...that won't go over well with me. It would make me feel like you're in financial trouble(which will make me feel that you can't provide for us and our family) and you just want a room mate instead of it being you love me and you're ready to take it to the next level. You know...
 
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dyh080 said:
But call me old fashioned.
(1)If a man meets a woman who lives 1000 miles away and soonafter invites her to attend his job's party and awards ceremony, should he offer to to pay her airfare?
I think he should offer to pay her airfare for sure.
(2) if the woman has family and a successful career should she relocate to live with the man who makes half as much and start all over because he doesn't want to leave his state even though all of his family lives in her state?
Start all over as in, not having an equal job as her prior state? Heck NO! If he makes half as much he needs to be thinking of moving to HER state to maybe find a better job.

(3)the man wants the woman to split his mortgage payments and I guess other bills with him if she moves. Should she?

Sounds like a bad idea to me. How was he paying his mortgage BEFORE she moved with him? If they got a new place together, yeah.

The above people are real. Both of them are in their early forties. the woman is divorced and the man has never married. they are engaged.I know the guy....he is a family friend. Personally I think he is a bit stubborn and lacking in chivalry.

I wouldn't like the sounds of this because this woman would be giving up a lot to move in with him and she may end up resenting him for it.
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Answers above in blue
 
The Lord knows this man is smoking that Cush because he wants a lot for a man that's not up to par from what I'm reading...

He needs to pay for her trip
She should not give up her career for his arse nope he needs to move his arse by her he might end up making more money...selfish bastard
He is a man she should foot his own dam mortgage..I understand splitting bills in the home and what not ur these men now a days keeps forgetting the man is suppose to take care of everything in the home....it seems to me that he is looking to catch a break with this woman
 
Hmm.

He wants her to move and start all over in her career. Move away from friends and family. Pay a mortgage on a house that isn't hers and she didn't pick.

The first thing that will happen when they have a big argument is he will say "Get out of MY house". :lol:

I think moving into someone else's home as a woman with no family/friends close by is a bad idea.
 
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  1. You invite, you pay.
  2. He needs to grow a pair and relocate. Sounds like he is comfortable in his life and only seeks to be even more comfortable while she would go through a major disruption in hers to appease him which leads me to....
  3. She needs to stay where she is. The scenario explained in the second part of your post wouldn't make sense for her financially or emotionally.
  4. Why are women always expected to jump through flaming hoops for a man?
 
She sounds like she's given up on getting what she really wanted in a man. In this situation she is the breadwinner and he and she should acknowledge that so then he moves for her and she gonna be paying for a lot. She is simply in a situation most women don't want to be in, but she's grown and made the choice to settle on a less successful, selfish guy. Maybe this is better than being alone for her.
 
Everything else aside, I'm really mad that he fixed his mouth to even suggest that she pay half his mortgage. Child. No. She is supposed to move to him and then be a roommate? I'm exhausted.
 
(1)If a man meets a woman who lives 1000 miles away and soonafter invites her to attend his job's party and awards ceremony, should he offer to to pay her airfare?

Umm he who invites shall pay.:look: It's shady for him to invite and not offer to pay for her airfare.

(2) if the woman has family and a successful career should she relocate to live with the man who makes half as much and start all over because he doesn't want to leave his state even though all of his family lives in her state?

Uh, no. She's essentially changing her entire life for him and for what? What is he bringing to the table?

(3)the man wants the woman to split his mortgage payments and I guess other bills with him if she moves. Should she?

So she's supposed to relocate and at the risk of beginning her career all over again and then pay half the bills? Again what is she getting out of this? Because he's getting all the benefits and not making any sacrifices.

Well that's 1, 2, 3 strikes he's out. I agree with hopeful though, maybe in her mind this is better than being alone.:nono:
 
dyh080 said:
Yes, she DID pay her own airfare to his event. She also is willing to split the mortgage with him after they are married.
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Le sigh
rayj_9_gif2.gif
 
1, 2, and 3 get a hearty

tumblr_m84xou0TUu1rocjrmo1_500.gif


But since it seems she drank the entire 2 quart pitcher of Koolaid, I hope he makes her happy. I'm going to say that she really loves him and doesn't mind these "stipulations" because the thought of her being so desperate and lonely as to consider any of those requests is depressing.
 
1. yes.
2. no.
3. no. In fact, they should buy a new home. Fresh start. If she agrees to paying half, her name needs to be on the deed on the house. If he says no to that, I would say no to him.

I have a question. Are they going to have separate bank accounts or joint?

My gut tells me this guy is preying on her. some men like to prey on women that have money. She sounds like she does not like living alone so she is not thinking clearly.
 
TalkTru said:
I have a feeling she'll end up resenting him... She is giving up way too much.
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This happened to a friend of mine a few years ago. She quit a great job that she loved to moved away to the state where her SO lived.

Well, turns out his selfishness and entitlement became more apparent after they were living together. It was clear he did not appreciate the sacrifice as he was not at all sympathetic while she was struggling at her new job which paid considerably less than the one she left and was a nightmare environment. He told her she need to "just suck it up" and overall just acted like she was the lucky one to be with him. :perplexed:
 
dtachi said:
This happened to a friend of mine a few years ago. She quit a great job that she loved to moved away to the state where her SO lived.

Well, turns out his selfishness and entitlement became more apparent after they were living together. It was clear he did not appreciate the sacrifice as he was not at all sympathetic while she was struggling at her new job which paid considerably less than the one she left and was a nightmare environment. He told her she need to "just suck it up" and overall just acted like she was the lucky one to be with him. :perplexed:
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This is what always happens when you make a sacrifice, that's why you have to be true to yourself. I am teaching myself not to martyr myself for people because they will forget (which doesn't make them bad necessarily; I guess they cannot live in eternal gratitude forever) and you are stuck dealing with the repercussions of a decision you should not have made. That's when they advise you to have an "attitude of gratitude" or something and you want to cuss them out :look:
 
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