I said "no"...and she pulls out the scissors...

[GoingNatural]

Sounds like hair rape to me. No to make light of rape, but just because you reacted positively to the cut she still did so against your will.

 

[Chromia]

This is why I left the stylist I went to for years. She knows she didn't have your permission to trim/cut. Your hair looks good and I'm glad she didn't take off too much, but she was competely wrong in doing that.

 

[thebraudgroup]

Well,my hair isn't anywhere near as long as your and I know I would have been pissed. NO does not mean YES, just because you think my hair needs to be cut. IT'S MY HAIR!!! Girl, I feel for ya. But I'll tell you what, since you don't know what NO means I can spend my money with someone who does. Sometimes you have to hit people where it hurts - in their pocket.

Kim

 

[sareca]

Ok, I'm not usually an "ends justifies the means" type of girl, but if you liked it at the end I'm kinda leaning towards thinking she did the right thing. And she didn't charge you top of that! I like her.

 

[A_Christian]

Your hair still looks great and I really don't see much of a difference between the before and after pictures but I would not continue to go to this stylist if you do not want to have to deal with this again and again. Every stylist that I've been to who pulled tricks like that never stopped. Over the last 2 years I've put my foot down when it comes to unnecessary trims and I had to have a little talksy with one stylist in particular who tried to cut my hair behind my back. The only thing a stylist can do when you are adamant about not getting a service they want to give you is but at least you will leave the place happy.

 

[ladylibra]

This happened to me before when my mom and I went back to my old stylist in Philly. I refused and she just looked at my mom, who said, I needed to let her trim it. I kept saying no, and she puts her tools down and goes "I can't let you leave my shop like this!" I swear, I had been bunning my ends were FINE, just thin, but not breaking thin, growing thin. I think because I'm young they ignored me, and just listened to my mom.

**** please i will walk out on you and not pay... WATCH ME! i've done it before...

i have no patience for this mess...

 

[missty1029]

Girl of course your hair still looks great!!!!!
But she should have respected your wishes. Even if she thought you needed it she should have talked to you more rather then just pulling out the scissors and going to work.
She wouldnt like you cutting her price without talking to her about it would she?????

 

[HappyHairDreams]

Ok I know we have alot of similar stories to the one I'm about to post but I still wanna vent a lil so I'm gonna put it out there...Long story short I went in for a press on Friday and the stylist asked me if I was getting a trim. I told her "no...I definitely had not planned on it". She said I needed it really bad and I said..."Ok...well it can wait for the next appointment, right?" She was like, "well when is that gonna be?" I kind of shrugged cuz I didn't know (I don't make appointments very often). Next thing I know I saw her doing something to the back of my hair (couldn't see her hands cuz of my hair length and where her hands were placed behind me).

She wasn't combing it so I was like..."is she trimming my hair?" I said, "Are you cutting it?" She was like, "Yes." I was like, "How much are you taking off?" She was like, "An inch." I was like, "THIS much an inch?" (I make a gesture to show her what an inch should be.) She (sounding kind of irritated) said, "Yes. I'm just taking the really bad parts off."

So I watched her and she did seem to only take an inch off (maybe a teeny tiny bit more?). I'm really OCD about my hair so I can't say WHY I didn't go off? Maybe because I watched her only take that one inch off....and it looked good when she was done. Plus she didn't charge me but I felt like that was only fair because I didn't ask for it. *Sigh* That's kinda crazy to me...I'm still shocked that after I said no that happened. Now I can relate to all of you who have had an experience where you got something you didn't ask for. I used to actually wonder a little bit how some of us, who are so hair-conscious could end up in a situation like that...but really, sometimes things just happen so fast and by the time you say something it's already been done.

Anyways, just wanted to share my experience. Overall, as usual she did an EXCELLENT job on styling my hair. I posted the pic below in the Waist length by summer 08 thread; I still hope to make WL but I dunno if it'll be by the end of the summer...Hope not to have any more trims this year

If you wanna compare how my hair was before, see my siggy pic below. The pic on the right in the siggy pic was my hair length before Friday's trim.

Well atleast it seems you like her as a stylist and have a relationship with her...I personally would have flipped out on her ass and threatened a law suit just to make her pee herself.

 

[Misseyl]

I'm surprised that "No" didn't mean no to her. You were being nice because I wouldn't have allow it...

 

[ajacks]

Ok I know we have alot of similar stories to the one I'm about to post but I still wanna vent a lil so I'm gonna put it out there...Long story short I went in for a press on Friday and the stylist asked me if I was getting a trim. I told her "no...I definitely had not planned on it". She said I needed it really bad and I said..."Ok...well it can wait for the next appointment, right?" She was like, "well when is that gonna be?" I kind of shrugged cuz I didn't know (I don't make appointments very often). Next thing I know I saw her doing something to the back of my hair (couldn't see her hands cuz of my hair length and where her hands were placed behind me).

She wasn't combing it so I was like..."is she trimming my hair?" I said, "Are you cutting it?" She was like, "Yes." I was like, "How much are you taking off?" She was like, "An inch." I was like, "THIS much an inch?" (I make a gesture to show her what an inch should be.) She (sounding kind of irritated) said, "Yes. I'm just taking the really bad parts off."

So I watched her and she did seem to only take an inch off (maybe a teeny tiny bit more?). I'm really OCD about my hair so I can't say WHY I didn't go off? Maybe because I watched her only take that one inch off....and it looked good when she was done. Plus she didn't charge me but I felt like that was only fair because I didn't ask for it. *Sigh* That's kinda crazy to me...I'm still shocked that after I said no that happened. Now I can relate to all of you who have had an experience where you got something you didn't ask for. I used to actually wonder a little bit how some of us, who are so hair-conscious could end up in a situation like that...but really, sometimes things just happen so fast and by the time you say something it's already been done.

Anyways, just wanted to share my experience. Overall, as usual she did an EXCELLENT job on styling my hair. I posted the pic below in the Waist length by summer 08 thread; I still hope to make WL but I dunno if it'll be by the end of the summer...Hope not to have any more trims this year

If you wanna compare how my hair was before, see my siggy pic below. The pic on the right in the siggy pic was my hair length before Friday's trim.

Sorry this happened to you, but your hair is beautiful!

 

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

What in the heck is wrong with these stylists. I would never go back to her again

 

[ricochet]

Girlfriend, you already KNOW how I am feeling right now ...yes, your hair is absolutely gorgeous as always but how DARE her cut your hair after you specifically told her N-O. What's up with that? I mean, why is this such an issue with stylists? I mean, It is MY hair, I am paying YOU to do what I ask, I have been the one taking care of it these past years to get it to the length it is...NOT YOU! Ugh! I had to vent myself on that one . Okay, I am happy again, beautiful hair lady!

 

[Songbirdb]

Girl, you too nice. She would've got cussed out to the fullest. Just because it looks nice, thats no excuse. It's the principle of the matter, and you told her butt no and that's that! Boy oh boy, you make me wanna run up in that shop and punch her for you.
:hardslap:

 

[hopeful]

What in the heck is wrong with these stylists. I would never go back to her again

ITA. She is sneaky and will eventually, one day, cut wayyyy more than you want. No one should ever cut your hair without you first saying "YES, Please cut my hair." Your hair is beautiful but it does look shorter and it does not look like you "needed" a haircut, and even if you needed it, she had no right without your permission.

 

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

I'm just thinking this post could have gone a whole nother way Thankfully the cut was to your satisfaction

 

[Sunshine0801]

Your hair looks great but stylists who don't listen and respect their customers' requests is another reason why I will not go to stylists. It's just not worth it.

 

[Hair Iam]

Its feels like your rights have been infringed on ..its a strange feeling
your hair looks beautiful

 

[BlkOnyx488]

My brother called it "gettin' mo neck"

Everytime his wife went to gether hair done she came back and it was always all shorter than before she went, and her sister was her stylisterplexed

Your is very pretty i don't see a difference

 

[azul11]

There comes a time when we all have our breaking points. That moment when we say enough is enough.

I remember I had a horrible salon experience that I posted here and one of the members here said to me: “If you can't speak up, you shouldn't go to hairdressers. It seems to me like it's not the hairdressers that are the problem, it's the fact that you won't stand up for yourself, because it keeps happening!”

It was that kind of tough love statement that I needed. I realize that if what I say isn’t respected or I am not consulted about something that is occurring to me then that is a violation of any kind of trust I may have for you. If I entrust you with my hair, I am doing so with the belief that one you have my hair’s best wishes in mind, and two that you will do as I have requested.

I don’t like going to a salon like a drill sergeant with a bunch of orders that I bark out and strict instructions that the stylist must adhere to, and watching them like hawks for potential mishaps. To me the whole experience should be relaxing. I should be able to go and know my hair is in capable hands. If I have to be on guard and paranoid over every step then that clearly means that this isn’t going to be a pleasant experience.

Some people don’t mind doing this because they are after the end result. For others, it becomes tiring and motivation enough to find someone you trust who can do the procedure to your liking or to just try to learn to do it on your own. But again it all comes down to that breaking point and everyone has one. God bless you all.

 

[MonPetite]

See, now I would have to rethink going back to her. What part of no actually means yes you can go ahead and do what you want anyway?

I'm pissed for you! But I'm glad that she didn't butcher your hair. But if you don't put your foot down now....what will happen the next time she decides to go against your wishes? Please don't let her just have her way with your hair. I can't see the pics (they block them at work) but I'm sure it's still beautiful!!

They are so sure they know what's best for you. I think to them we are like children who say we want candy for dinner but they know we need our vegetables. I just mean, just like a parent doesn't take what the child says seriously because they are sure they know best, that's what stylists think about their clients. So they just say "mmhmm" and do what they feel is best.

Next time, insist. No shrugging, no "hmm, i don't know", tell her you do not want a trim this time. Say it with the bolded "not".

What in the heck is wrong with these stylists. I would never go back to her again

ITA. She is sneaky and will eventually, one day, cut wayyyy more than you want. No one should ever cut your hair without you first saying "YES, Please cut my hair." Your hair is beautiful but it does look shorter and it does not look like you "needed" a haircut, and even if you needed it, she had no right without your permission.

ITA with the above. I had a similar experience. I said I did NOT want a trim. She turns me away from the mirror....I saw a flash of silver, but didn't hear anything and she kept talking like nothing was happening. In actuality she actually cut off two inches then slipped the scissors back in her apron!! The only reason I know is because there was no hair beneath my chair when I sat down (she had just swept of course). She gets a broom, while my back is to her and starts sweeping. It dawns on me she has no reason to sweep. I said no trim....I look down and two inches of me is on the floor. The look of shock I had must've been something because she just gave an awkward smile and swept it up really quickly setting the pan out of sight.

I never went back.

 

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

ITA with the above. I had a similar experience. I said I did NOT want a trim. She turns me away from the mirror....I saw a flash of silver, but didn't hear anything and she kept talking like nothing was happening. In actuality she actually cut off two inches then slipped the scissors back in her apron!! The only reason I know is because there was no hair beneath my chair when I sat down (she had just swept of course). She gets a broom, while my back is to her and starts sweeping. It dawns on me she has no reason to sweep. I said no trim....I look down and two inches of me is on the floor. The look of shock I had must've been something because she just gave an awkward smile and swept it up really quickly setting the pan out of sight.

I never went back.

She would have got cut that day and no payment

 

[lilamae]

okay so your hair looks great BUT, there is absolutely no way she should have went against your wishes and trimmed you hair anyway I have this same fight with my hair dresser every relaxer and i would have been pissed if she just went ahead and trimmed my hair after I said no! So Just be careful with her in the future. She did okay this time but who knows what could happen next time!

 

[AsTheCurlzTurns]

Your hair still looks great, but STILL, she didn't have any reason going against what you requested of her to do to your hair. Had she tried to go over my head and did what SHE wanted to do, she wouldn't have stood a chance. She'd be looking at an empty seat in front of her, since I'd be done hightailed it on outta there. But bottom line here, is you came out of it okay and but please don't go back to her again. Who's to say she won't try to attempt to do it again, but even worse, next time?

 

[OrangeMoon]

Although it doesn't look like she trimmed much, she was still wrong. Wrong as h-e-double hockey sticks.

 

[KiniKakes]

What an awful story! I hate when these stylists take decisions into their own hands, rendering us absolutely powerless. It's frustrating. And, as you said, it can happen to the best of us! You can speak up and be as strong-willed as you want..... but some stylists are just determined to do their own thing and, short of getting ugly, there's really not a lot u can do to stop them.

Btw, your hair looks FANTASTIC and she did a great job with the cut.... BUT it's still the principle. *sigh*

 

[StarFish106]

I'm glad you shared this story with us. My stylist is very adamant about trimming my hair every relaxer because she claims it will grow my hair faster. However, everytime she trims, I look like I got a big cut! I used to go to her every 2 weeks, but since I joined LHCF back in January '08, I haven't been back to her since my last relaxer. When I go back next month for a touch up, I want to make it clear to her that I don't want a trim. My concerns is that she will try to bash me, or even go against my wishes and trim my hair. This thread helped me realize that I have to stand my guard and make sure that she does not trim, no matter what. The lesson learned from this thread is to make it "plain as day" clear that you do not want a trim. Great thread! And your hair still looks beautiful!

Do we go to the same stylist? When I went in Feb for my last TU my hair was a lot longer before. I told her to dust my ends. I had a lot of NG from my MN and when I left it looked like before I started using it. So when I go for my TU next month I need to have that convo with her that no scissors allowed. I dusted my ends 2 wks ago and they are fine. I am beginning to think that mine is trying to keep me at shoulder length but that is another thread.

zzirvingj - Your hair is still beautiful but watch her..seriously. If she doesn't do what you ask feel free to :hardslap:. We got your back

 

[zzirvingj]

There comes a time when we all have our breaking points. That moment when we say enough is enough.

I remember I had a horrible salon experience that I posted here and one of the members here said to me: “If you can't speak up, you shouldn't go to hairdressers. It seems to me like it's not the hairdressers that are the problem, it's the fact that you won't stand up for yourself, because it keeps happening!”

It was that kind of tough love statement that I needed. I realize that if what I say isn’t respected or I am not consulted about something that is occurring to me then that is a violation of any kind of trust I may have for you. If I entrust you with my hair, I am doing so with the belief that one you have my hair’s best wishes in mind, and two that you will do as I have requested.

I don’t like going to a salon like a drill sergeant with a bunch of orders that I bark out and strict instructions that the stylist must adhere to, and watching them like hawks for potential mishaps. To me the whole experience should be relaxing. I should be able to go and know my hair is in capable hands. If I have to be on guard and paranoid over every step then that clearly means that this isn’t going to be a pleasant experience.

Some people don’t mind doing this because they are after the end result. For others, it becomes tiring and motivation enough to find someone you trust who can do the procedure to your liking or to just try to learn to do it on your own. But again it all comes down to that breaking point and everyone has one. God bless you all.

Why has the bolded part above got me LMAO!!?

You just described EXACTLY how I don't want to feel when going to the salon...

 

[BioChemBabe]

Your hair still looks nice.

 

[tocktick]

your hair looks really good still and i see she didn't take much off. however, if i were in your shoes i think i would have to drop her since she did not listen. the sneakiness she displayed is horrible. however, you know your stylist best and if your history with her tells you this is grounds for moving on or not.

 

[filthyfresh]

OMG. I am so sorry that happened to you. See that's why I hate going to shops, they always want to tell you what they think your hair needs.

After reading this post (a few days ago), I had a dream that I had finally gotten to BSL and I decided to get a relaxer at a salon. I specifically told the stylist not to let a scissor touch a single strand of my hair. So she of course tried to bully me into getting a trim, but I was like hell to the no! And I told her I ain't paying for no d*mn trim neither. So she blows my hair and she tries to dscretely pull out some scissors. I hopped out of that chair so fast, threw her $ at her and said, "Here's the $ for the relaxer. I told you I wasn't paying for no trim. I can take it from here with MY hair!" I woke up laughing so hard, like LHCF has crept into my dreams at night.