I said "no"...and she pulls out the scissors...

[zzirvingj]

Ok I know we have alot of similar stories to the one I'm about to post but I still wanna vent a lil so I'm gonna put it out there...Long story short I went in for a press on Friday and the stylist asked me if I was getting a trim. I told her "no...I definitely had not planned on it". She said I needed it really bad and I said..."Ok...well it can wait for the next appointment, right?" She was like, "well when is that gonna be?" I kind of shrugged cuz I didn't know (I don't make appointments very often). Next thing I know I saw her doing something to the back of my hair (couldn't see her hands cuz of my hair length and where her hands were placed behind me).

She wasn't combing it so I was like..."is she trimming my hair?" I said, "Are you cutting it?" She was like, "Yes." I was like, "How much are you taking off?" She was like, "An inch." I was like, "THIS much an inch?" (I make a gesture to show her what an inch should be.) She (sounding kind of irritated) said, "Yes. I'm just taking the really bad parts off."

So I watched her and she did seem to only take an inch off (maybe a teeny tiny bit more?). I'm really OCD about my hair so I can't say WHY I didn't go off? Maybe because I watched her only take that one inch off....and it looked good when she was done. Plus she didn't charge me but I felt like that was only fair because I didn't ask for it. *Sigh* That's kinda crazy to me...I'm still shocked that after I said no that happened. Now I can relate to all of you who have had an experience where you got something you didn't ask for. I used to actually wonder a little bit how some of us, who are so hair-conscious could end up in a situation like that...but really, sometimes things just happen so fast and by the time you say something it's already been done.

Anyways, just wanted to share my experience. Overall, as usual she did an EXCELLENT job on styling my hair. I posted the pic below in the Waist length by summer 08 thread; I still hope to make WL but I dunno if it'll be by the end of the summer...Hope not to have any more trims this year

If you wanna compare how my hair was before, see my siggy pic below. The pic on the right in the siggy pic was my hair length before Friday's trim.

 

[Diya]

Well, your hair still looks great of course and I can hardly tell there's any length missing... but I can't believe she did that against your wishes! Next time you go, please be sure to insist that she gives you only the services your ask for, otherwise she might just keep doing stuff 'behind your back' . The nerve....

 

[kweenameena]

Next thing I know I saw her doing something to the back of my hair (couldn't see her hands cuz of my hair length and where her hands were placed behind me).

She wasn't combing it so I was like..."is she trimming my hair?" I said, "Are you cutting it?" She was like, "Yes." I was like, "How much are you taking off?" She was like, "An inch." I was like, "THIS much an inch?" (I make a gesture to show her what an inch should be.) She (sounding kind of irritated) said, "Yes. I'm just taking the really bad parts off."

See, now I would have to rethink going back to her. What part of no actually means yes you can go ahead and do what you want anyway?

I'm pissed for you! But I'm glad that she didn't butcher your hair. But if you don't put your foot down now....what will happen the next time she decides to go against your wishes? Please don't let her just have her way with your hair. I can't see the pics (they block them at work) but I'm sure it's still beautiful!!

 

[anon123]

They are so sure they know what's best for you. I think to them we are like children who say we want candy for dinner but they know we need our vegetables. I just mean, just like a parent doesn't take what the child says seriously because they are sure they know best, that's what stylists think about their clients. So they just say "mmhmm" and do what they feel is best.

Next time, insist. No shrugging, no "hmm, i don't know", tell her you do not want a trim this time. Say it with the bolded "not".

 

[caliber38]

I'm really sorry that this happened to you. I got a relaxer touch up on saturday and the guy kept asking me if I wanted a trim during the service after I told him NO before he asked when I got to the salon. I was thinking to myself "I know I told you NO when I walked in so WTF". It will definately grow back but I have to say that I would have told her that cutting someone's hair who didnt want it will " GET YOU CUT". I understand if you really like this stylist but I would think about finding a new one after this b/c SHE WAS WRONG.

 

[SEMO]

Well, your hair still looks great of course and I can hardly tell there's any length missing... but I can't believe she did that against your wishes! Next time you go, please be sure to insist that she gives you only the services your ask for, otherwise she might just keep doing stuff 'behind your back' . The nerve....

I agree, your hair looks great and you can barely tell it's shorter. But I understand what you mean about things happening fast in a salon. I think stylists purposely face people away from the mirror so you can't see what their doing in enough time to stop them.

 

[zzirvingj]

They are so sure they know what's best for you. I think to them we are like children who say we want candy for dinner but they know we need our vegetables. I just mean, just like a parent doesn't take what the child says seriously because they are sure they know best, that's what stylists think about their clients. So they just say "mmhmm" and do what they feel is best.

Next time, insist. No shrugging, no "hmm, i don't know", tell her you do not want a trim this time. Say it with the bolded "not".

That's the thing; when she asked if I was getting a trim today I did say "No." I said I hadn't planned on it. Saying "No. I definitely hadn't planned on it" was not "Yes.". But I guess you are saying it wasn't a "strong enough NO"...?

Either way, it still boggles my mind that these things happen. The thing is, even though it's rare I go to her, she knows how I feel about trims. Cuz my very first visit with her we had a conversation about her "trimming 3 inches off" and I had to explain to her how I could NOT do more than ONE inch. The second and third time afterwards I told her I'm not getting a trim and she didn't say or do anything...so she knows how I feel about trimming my hair, that I'm OCD about how much she's gonna take off, and that I RARELY get it done...

So I totally agree with your post; you described it really well--many stylists do feel like we need them to tell us and do to us what THEY "supposedly" know is best.

 

[Simply_Kelz]

This happened to me before when my mom and I went back to my old stylist in Philly. I refused and she just looked at my mom, who said, I needed to let her trim it. I kept saying no, and she puts her tools down and goes "I can't let you leave my shop like this!" I swear, I had been bunning my ends were FINE, just thin, but not breaking thin, growing thin. I think because I'm young they ignored me, and just listened to my mom.

 

[zzirvingj]

I agree, your hair looks great and you can barely tell it's shorter. But I understand what you mean about things happening fast in a salon. I think stylists purposely face people away from the mirror so you can't see what their doing in enough time to stop them.

Thanks for the complement

Just as an FYI, I was facing the mirror. I just didn't see that she had scissors in her hand because she started in the back, behind my back, and because of the length of my hair I wasn't seeing anything but her arms basically. But I could feel that she wasn't combing it and she didn't have the flat iron out so that's how I knew she was about to start clippin...

 

[SEMO]

Thanks for the complement

Just as an FYI, I was facing the mirror. I just didn't see that she had scissors in her hand because she started in the back, behind my back, and because of the length of my hair I wasn't seeing anything but her arms basically. But I could feel that she wasn't combing it and she didn't have the flat iron out so that's how I knew she was about to start clippin...

I understand. When I used to go to stylists I had those moments where I thought they were just smoothing or combing my hair and realized that my ends were being clipped. This was before LHCF and I liked my stylist otherwise (she kept on time appointments which was a big plus for me ) so I never got mad. But thinking back that was presumptuous of her.

And KelleC, I think some stylists definitely take advantage of people's youth when it comes to getting their hair done. That used to happen to me a lot.

 

[Lucky's Mom]

OK - So ANOTHER REASON not to Go to a stylist.

 

[Traycee]

Girl I read the title and almost past out !!! (My hair inspiration got butchered) .....Relief when opened and saw your pic.


I don't think she cut too much off...It looks very good....But you have to remember she went against your request and she can't be trusted...She proved she is going to do what she wants to do.......I wouldn't go back

 

[mrsjohnson75]

That's the thing; when she asked if I was getting a trim today I did say "No." I said I hadn't planned on it. Saying "No. I definitely hadn't planned on it" was not "Yes.". But I guess you are saying it wasn't a "strong enough NO"...?

Either way, it still boggles my mind that these things happen. The thing is, even though it's rare I go to her, she knows how I feel about trims. Cuz my very first visit with her we had a conversation about her "trimming 3 inches off" and I had to explain to her how I could NOT do more than ONE inch. The second and third time afterwards I told her I'm not getting a trim and she didn't say or do anything...so she knows how I feel about trimming my hair, that I'm OCD about how much she's gonna take off, and that I RARELY get it done...

So I totally agree with your post; you described it really well--many stylists do feel like we need them to tell us and do to us what THEY "supposedly" know is best.

I think when you added that you had not planned on it...that left it open for her to convince you/take it upon herself to trim. Next time just say "NO" and that's it.... there is no room for interpretation.

Your hair is still fly !

 

[Soliel185]

I hate that some stylists do this. They badger into thinking everything you say about YOUR hair is wrong, and then after they break you down they force their logic on you. If you go to her again, and she asks if you'd like a trim say "NO" if you're uncomfortable being outright hostile to her face tell her you have someone else that does it for you - like your Mom or an Aunt, and IMMEDIATELY start getting your things together to stand up.

I'm on the tall side, so once I stand up, conversation OVER. It is your hair, you pay her, and you tip her - she is providing a service, and she needs to know that if you didn't ask for it, you don't want it.

 

[miami74]

I'm glad you shared this story with us. My stylist is very adamant about trimming my hair every relaxer because she claims it will grow my hair faster. However, everytime she trims, I look like I got a big cut! I used to go to her every 2 weeks, but since I joined LHCF back in January '08, I haven't been back to her since my last relaxer. When I go back next month for a touch up, I want to make it clear to her that I don't want a trim. My concerns is that she will try to bash me, or even go against my wishes and trim my hair. This thread helped me realize that I have to stand my guard and make sure that she does not trim, no matter what. The lesson learned from this thread is to make it "plain as day" clear that you do not want a trim. Great thread! And your hair still looks beautiful!

 

[BrownSkin2]

I'm sorry to hear this happened to you, but it looks lovely. I wouldn't go back to her. I would be afraid she would take it upon herself to trim at will.

 

[shunta]

I just dont understand why some stylists just do whatever THEY feel like doing to your hair, regardless of what the customer asks for. But your hair still looks great, tho. The trim looks really good, but thats besides the point. She shoulda still respected your wishes.

 

[EbonyHairedPrincess]

Your hair is beautiful, but end does not justify the means. You told her NO. She should have respected that .

 

[ReddTweetyB]

That is why I just can't get myself into a salon. The same thing happened to me years ago except instead of a trim, I got 5 to 6 inches cut off. Once the first snip was done, I had not choice to let her keep chopping. Was it a female or male who cut your hair? There are alot of jealous females out there. I really do think jealousy or envy sometimes plays a big part in this.

 

[zzirvingj]

That is why I just can't get myself into a salon. The same thing happened to me years ago except instead of a trim, I got 5 to 6 inches cut off. Once the first snip was done, I had not choice to let her keep chopping. Was it a female or male who cut your hair? There are alot of jealous females out there. I really do think jealousy or envy sometimes plays a big part in this.

Female.

See...I like to give people the benefit of the doubt and like one of the other posters, tend to think it's because stylists think they know what's best, and because they are simply scissor-happy rather than they are jealous haters.

But so many people nowadays say to me "oh that wouldn't have happened if a guy was doing your hair." I dunno.....

 

[ChocoKitty]

Female.


But so many people nowadays say to me "oh that wouldn't have happened if a guy was doing your hair." I dunno.....

Not true. I thought so too until I had a couple of not so great experiences.

 

[JustKiya]

*blink*

It does look good, I have to admit, but I would NEVER trust her in my hair again. I'm sorry, but after I specifically TOLD you 'No' you LITERALLY go behind my back and do what you want to MY hair anyway? Oh, hell no. I don't care how good it looked - you just lost my trust, and you just showed me that you don't deserve my hard-earned money. And I betcha if you weren't paying attention, she would have LIED and told you she didn't cut it, too.

See. Just why I don't go to a salon.

 

[jasmin]

Okay it looks find but how weird is she. I'm sorry but that's kind of psycho. Knowing me that would have been my last visit or I would let her know that I would only be back if she doesn't do something like that again.

 

[Mystic]

I didn't see where you needed a trim really badly!I just hate it when they say that. I had a similar experience too but in the end, the hair looked much better when she was done. Yours look awesome, and I don't think she took off a lot.

 

[InnerSoul]

Reason #25 of why I don't go to stylist anymore!

OP: your hair is still healthy and beautiful... even if she did take off a smidgen (which is hardly noticeable in your pic), you know your hair will get back to the previous length in no time

 

[Connie]

Luckily I have a stylist who really just cuts my ends, and ONLY if they look bad. In a few weeks time you can't even tell she cut it.

Now the stylist I had before my current one...she got a kick out of cutting your 'ends' and your hair would end up being damn near 4 inches shorter.

I'm going to learn to clip my own ends for real, though. Bad ends do hinder your hair's growth.

 

[blackbarbie]

Ok I know we have alot of similar stories to the one I'm about to post but I still wanna vent a lil so I'm gonna put it out there...Long story short I went in for a press on Friday and the stylist asked me if I was getting a trim. I told her "no...I definitely had not planned on it". She said I needed it really bad and I said..."Ok...well it can wait for the next appointment, right?" She was like, "well when is that gonna be?" I kind of shrugged cuz I didn't know (I don't make appointments very often). Next thing I know I saw her doing something to the back of my hair (couldn't see her hands cuz of my hair length and where her hands were placed behind me).

She wasn't combing it so I was like..."is she trimming my hair?" I said, "Are you cutting it?" She was like, "Yes." I was like, "How much are you taking off?" She was like, "An inch." I was like, "THIS much an inch?" (I make a gesture to show her what an inch should be.) She (sounding kind of irritated) said, "Yes. I'm just taking the really bad parts off."

So I watched her and she did seem to only take an inch off (maybe a teeny tiny bit more?). I'm really OCD about my hair so I can't say WHY I didn't go off? Maybe because I watched her only take that one inch off....and it looked good when she was done. Plus she didn't charge me but I felt like that was only fair because I didn't ask for it. *Sigh* That's kinda crazy to me...I'm still shocked that after I said no that happened. Now I can relate to all of you who have had an experience where you got something you didn't ask for. I used to actually wonder a little bit how some of us, who are so hair-conscious could end up in a situation like that...but really, sometimes things just happen so fast and by the time you say something it's already been done.

Anyways, just wanted to share my experience. Overall, as usual she did an EXCELLENT job on styling my hair. I posted the pic below in the Waist length by summer 08 thread; I still hope to make WL but I dunno if it'll be by the end of the summer...Hope not to have any more trims this year

If you wanna compare how my hair was before, see my siggy pic below. The pic on the right in the siggy pic was my hair length before Friday's trim.

I can't see pics at work but I bet your hair looks great anyway!!! (can't wait to get home to see).

I would have been heated but I have been so anal and accusing stylists of cutting my hair (after I have told them NOT to) when I can't see their hands, that the whole time I was sitting in the chair, I would have been asking over and over "You're not cutting my hair are you?" They have thought I was crazy for asking (even though they weren't doing anything), but I would rather be safe than sorry!

BB

 

[dany06]

double post

 

[dany06]

Thanks for the complement

Just as an FYI, I was facing the mirror. I just didn't see that she had scissors in her hand because she started in the back, behind my back, and because of the length of my hair I wasn't seeing anything but her arms basically. But I could feel that she wasn't combing it and she didn't have the flat iron out so that's how I knew she was about to start clippin...

Is it just me or do all black hair salons like to face their client away from the mirror and do whatever the hell they think that you want without reaffirming it. I've gone to numerous other salons not geared to blacks and they face you to mirror and you see everything they are doing. You also have time to stop them before they do something wrong.

Im real sorry for you loss (inch of hair), but atleast you came out looking good

 

[naturalmanenyc]

I feel your pain. A good friend just lost a few inches and did not even realize it until she got home and her fiance asked about her hair cut.

Your hair does look great though!!