I know I should be flattered but- Why do I get offered sex instead of a relationship?

[Mimi22]

I mean, is it in the way I walk? Talk? Erm....Smell?

Most of the guys I've been chatting with soon become lil sexual deviants erplexed

The conversation could be going swell (yes I said swell dammit), and all of a sudden "Ur a sexy lil thang; damn those lips, I can imgaine them doing

And before you know it....I'm back to square one --> singledom!

I mean we talk of politics, science, relationships, history, music blah blah blah...then BAM! I'm slapped with a sexual proposition ! Apparently I give off that "vibe", which is great, but I mean is it ALL the TIME?! Can I get a "I really like u; can we take this to relationship status?" I mean damn....WHY NOT!!!

I mean I shouldnt be complaining cuz its flattering? But can a sista catch a durn break?

Sorry needed to vent. Throw stones if yuh like!

 

[~~HoneyComb~~]

Re: I know I should be flattered but- Why do I get offered sex instead of a relations

There is nothing flattering about being offered sex

 

[~~HoneyComb~~]

Re: I know I should be flattered but- Why do I get offered sex instead of a relations

I mean, is it in the way I walk? Talk? Erm....Smell?

Most of the guys I've been chatting with soon become lil sexual deviants erplexed

The conversation could be going swell (yes I said swell dammit), and all of a sudden "Ur a sexy lil thang; damn those lips, I can imgaine them doing

And before you know it....I'm back to square one --> singledom!

I mean we talk of politics, science, relationships, history, music blah blah blah...then BAM! I'm slapped with a sexual proposition ! Apparently I give off that "vibe", which is great, but I mean is it ALL the TIME?! Can I get a "I really like u; can we take this to relationship status?" I mean damn....WHY NOT!!!

I mean I shouldnt be complaining cuz its flattering? But can a sista catch a durn break?

Sorry needed to vent. Throw stones if yuh like!

No stones.

But seriously, if a men are propositioning you for sex instead of a relationship, what's flattering about that?

Men do it to women to see who will give it up without a commitment, they hit it, and most times you're left dejected.

Tell them up front what you want, obviously they have no problem telling you they are only interested in sex.

 

[tatiana]

Re: I know I should be flattered but- Why do I get offered sex instead of a relations

I have the same problem. Do you have T&A? Or baby-making hips?

I don't like. I mean sometimes I like the attention but at the same time it hurts your self-esteem.

I have tried different outfits from professional to casual. I get hit on regardless. I even got hit on when I was wearing my "Nicky Grant" from Big Love outfit complete with braid.

 

[Gigi-07]

Re: I know I should be flattered but- Why do I get offered sex instead of a relations

1. You should not be flattered by being offered sex. You may think "Wow, he must think I'm hot to want to lay with me in bed...". I have news for you, it doesn't.
Snaggled-toothed, one-eyed crackheads get approached for sex. being offered sex only means one thing and one thing only, and that's that these men think you are loose.
Not good.

2. How do you dress? Do you dress slutty? Do your tits hang over your tops or thighs all exposed? If so, that would make you look like a hooker, and I would not be surprised if men were considering you for sex automatically if you're in a prostitute's uniform.

3. What types of men are you giving the time of day? You can tell what type of dude you're dealing with by just taking one good look at him when he approaches. You need to know what this looks like and avoid them at all costs, lest you want to be disrespected (like you are now).

 

[Demi27]

Re: I know I should be flattered but- Why do I get offered sex instead of a relations

Sometimes I don't think it has anything to do with the way we dress. I think it moreso has to do with the man.
I BY NO MEANS dress in a "sexual" way. There are times when I'm more dressed up than others, but I'm not "oozing" sex. LOL.

However, men will approach me (and many other women) the same way. I honestly think it has to do with the way a lot of men are today. I think that so many men are able to get it from women by talking to them in that way, that they don't know when to quit. Because so many women give it up like that, they think every woman gives it up like that.

Don't be so quick to think that it's you and not them.

 

[Carolina18]

Re: I know I should be flattered but- Why do I get offered sex instead of a relations

1. You should not be flattered by being offered sex. You may think "Wow, he must think I'm hot to want to lay with me in bed...". I have news for you, it doesn't.
Snaggled-toothed, one-eyed crackheads get approached for sex. being offered sex only means one thing and one thing only, and that's that these men think you are loose.
Not good.

Yep.

I'm also inclined to agree with the dressing issue. Women are not as visually stimulated as men, and we sometimes overlook the degree to which even subtle exposure can be suggestive, simply because we don't get turned on by seeing a bit of boob, some leg, curves in the right places etc. We just want to look nice, and show off our physique, but it hits 'men' in a different way.

 

[Mimi22]

Re: I know I should be flattered but- Why do I get offered sex instead of a relations

1. You should not be flattered by being offered sex. You may think "Wow, he must think I'm hot to want to lay with me in bed...". I have news for you, it doesn't.
Snaggled-toothed, one-eyed crackheads get approached for sex. being offered sex only means one thing and one thing only, and that's that these men think you are loose.
Not good.

2. How do you dress? Do you dress slutty? Do your tits hang over your tops or thighs all exposed? If so, that would make you look like a hooker, and I would not be surprised if men were considering you for sex automatically if you're in a prostitute's uniform.

3. What types of men are you giving the time of day? You can tell what type of dude you're dealing with by just taking one good look at him when he approaches. You need to know what this looks like and avoid them at all costs, lest you want to be disrespected (like you are now).

Well damn

I dont dress slutty. Shoot, most of the time my girlfriends are trying to take my over-sized sweater away from me! (it comforts me!)

And as for the guys, I either meet them around here at the hospital or via friends. And they come off really decent! One guy was sweet enough to pay for my coffee - he turned out to be a lil too much to handle

Maybe I'm too young or too naive - but i thought there were men out there that wanted MORE than sex? that wanted companionship maybe?
My high school teacher told me never to believe that men were all the same- great I dont....till now!

I never got the memo that it was suddenly ok to drop all ur proposed sexual trysts on a girl u jus met?!?!?!

 

[gn1g]

Re: I know I should be flattered but- Why do I get offered sex instead of a relations

i bet you get offered relationships also, it's just from guys you aren't digging?

 

[tatiana]

Re: I know I should be flattered but- Why do I get offered sex instead of a relations

Well damn

I dont dress slutty. Shoot, most of the time my girlfriends are trying to take my over-sized sweater away from me! (it comforts me!)

And as for the guys, I either meet them around here at the hospital or via friends. And they come off really decent! One guy was sweet enough to pay for my coffee - he turned out to be a lil too much to handle

Maybe I'm too young or too naive - but i thought there were men out there that wanted MORE than sex? that wanted companionship maybe?
My high school teacher told me never to believe that men were all the same- great I dont....till now!

I never got the memo that it was suddenly ok to drop all ur proposed sexual trysts on a girl u jus met?!?!?!

Are you a nurse or nurse's assistant? I have heard guys have fetishes for nurses. The guys you meet are they patients or work at the hospital? I think it is the men you come into contact with.

 

[Bunny77]

Re: I know I should be flattered but- Why do I get offered sex instead of a relations

Well damn
And as for the guys, I either meet them around here at the hospital or via friends. And they come off really decent! One guy was sweet enough to pay for my coffee - he turned out to be a lil too much to handle

Okay, number 1, I'm sure that you're not personally doing anything wrong. There are men who seem to expect that chicks are gonna give up the drawls instantly so they try it with a lot of women because that's what they're used to.

But I do wonder what type of men you're giving the time of day to... maybe it's just me, but if I do meet a man who only wants sex, he doesn't even bring up the topic until we've had two dates. I've never had any man outwardly proposition me like that, and I wonder if it's because I can kinda pick out a "type."

Oh, and I quoted that one paragraph because I really hope that you're not that impressed and consider it "sweet" that some dude bought you coffee. Coffee is 85 cents! (Unless you got a venti mocha something something from Starbucks that cost $5.00 -- but still... are you impressed that a dude dropped less than $5 on ya?)

Girl, raise ya standards!

I dunno... the guys that seem to have all this "swagger" (even if they are sweet) or a slight "edge" to them are usually the ones who are gonna start asking you about sex from jump. I mean, ALL men are thinking sex, but the ones that seem to be most attractive to women for having some "edge" are gonna be more likely to put it out there early.

Are those the types of men that you're giving the time of day?

 

[Mimi22]

Re: I know I should be flattered but- Why do I get offered sex instead of a relations

i bet you get offered relationships also, it's just from guys you aren't digging?

I do, but it always...distance or some other variable

Are you a nurse or nurse's assistant? I have heard guys have fetishes for nurses. The guys you meet are they patients or work at the hospital? I think it is the men you come into contact with.

I'm a microbiologist bugs rule!!!!!! jus kidding
I do meet a variety of men....jus that eventually, wierd flaws come to light and then I jus have to bounce.

Okay, number 1, I'm sure that you're not personally doing anything wrong. There are men who seem to expect that chicks are gonna give up the drawls instantly so they try it with a lot of women because that's what they're used to.

But I do wonder what type of men you're giving the time of day to... maybe it's just me, but if I do meet a man who only wants sex, he doesn't even bring up the topic until we've had two dates. I've never had any man outwardly proposition me like that, and I wonder if it's because I can kinda pick out a "type."

Oh, and I quoted that one paragraph because I really hope that you're not that impressed and consider it "sweet" that some dude bought you coffee. Coffee is 85 cents! (Unless you got a venti mocha something something from Starbucks that cost $5.00 -- but still... are you impressed that a dude dropped less than $5 on ya?)

I dunno... the guys that seem to have all this "swagger" (even if they are sweet) or a slight "edge" to them are usually the ones who are gonna start asking you about sex from jump. I mean, ALL men are thinking sex, but the ones that seem to be most attractive to women for having some "edge" are gonna be more likely to put it out there early.

Are those the types of men that you're giving the time of day?

The guy who bought me coffee seemed legit enough! He was a radiographer. Asked me about my opinion on the new hospital wing here and if i work there often yada yada...it was a kool convo....till we exchanged numbers and FB... Then he became sleezebag!

Its always leaves me boggled One minute ur kool and fun convo...then sex is jus dropped! I dont know how to weed them out...its happened with 4 different guys so far (past couple of months) and I really need someone with a lil originality!! grrr....

 

[poetist]

Re: I know I should be flattered but- Why do I get offered sex instead of a relations

"Ur a sexy lil thang; damn those lips, I can imgaine them doing

wait, you're not getting offered sex, but offered to perform boss hog on a ninja?

 

[kayte]

Re: I know I should be flattered but- Why do I get offered sex instead of a relations

2. How do you dress? Do you dress slutty? Do your tits hang over your tops or thighs all exposed? If so, that would make you look like a hooker, and I would not be surprised if men were considering you for sex automatically if you're in a prostitute's uniform.

this is not fair..... suggestive clothing contributes
but with a man that offers that kind of dialogue
usually does not care..what a woman is wearing

by the way..check out your language
completely disrespectful and totally uncalled for
the OP asked for advice...not filth
how dare you......
objectify her

being offered sex only means one thing and one thing only, and that's that these men think you are loose.

NOT TRUE..don't fool yourself
it's men that are loose
that kind of energy of disresepcting a woman in this way
is angry.... not only lust
and victimizes.... innocent women..
I dress down....wear glasses...cover everything and STILL get hit on ..
forget about wearing my hair down

OP....it's not always or often the woman's fault
all my lovely friends who have great guys had to weed out the pigs
disguised as princes...we all have had to do that ..and still do

it just happens as you get older...you brush those off automatically
those who would exploit and they get by the way,more sophisticated at it,too
but you brush them off like you would a fly... OP you'll learn how to do that too and redirect focus..to the princes that will begin to show up..instead of worrying about the creepy guys
really it's more about ...focus on what you want and keep focused on that
instead of what crops up in the meantime

sometimes when you clean a glass the dirt rises to the top
before the clean water emerges

I dont know how to weed them out...its happened with 4 different guys so far (past couple of months) and I really need someone with a lil originality!! grrr....

but you do know how,lovely!
OP.....keep brushing them off...keep the emphasis that friends are hip!
lol... "friends/hip" and not "relations/hip".
its how relationship evolves..anyways...by being trusted friends first
keep the energy on being friends first...men who are invested in you & your welfare
will want to be your friend and romance is..the icing

define your bottom line and stick to it....the universe will reward you
then carry on & remember.. inflow ..out flow!
the good ones do show up..maybe expand your pool..in terms of prospecting?
maybe work is not the best place anyways..for many reasons

 

[Blaque*Angel]

Re: I know I should be flattered but- Why do I get offered sex instead of a relations

1. You should not be flattered by being offered sex. You may think "Wow, he must think I'm hot to want to lay with me in bed...". I have news for you, it doesn't.
Snaggled-toothed, one-eyed crackheads get approached for sex. being offered sex only means one thing and one thing only, and that's that these men think you are loose.
Not good.

2. How do you dress? Do you dress slutty? Do your tits hang over your tops or thighs all exposed? If so, that would make you look like a hooker, and I would not be surprised if men were considering you for sex automatically if you're in a prostitute's uniform.

3. What types of men are you giving the time of day? You can tell what type of dude you're dealing with by just taking one good look at him when he approaches. You need to know what this looks like and avoid them at all costs, lest you want to be disrespected (like you are now).

at the bolded!!!

 

[Bunny77]

Re: I know I should be flattered but- Why do I get offered sex instead of a relations

I do, but it always...distance or some other variable



I'm a microbiologist bugs rule!!!!!! jus kidding
I do meet a variety of men....jus that eventually, wierd flaws come to light and then I jus have to bounce.



The guy who bought me coffee seemed legit enough! He was a radiographer. Asked me about my opinion on the new hospital wing here and if i work there often yada yada...it was a kool convo....till we exchanged numbers and FB... Then he became sleezebag!

Its always leaves me boggled One minute ur kool and fun convo...then sex is jus dropped! I dont know how to weed them out...its happened with 4 different guys so far (past couple of months) and I really need someone with a lil originality!! grrr....

Gotcha... my point about the coffee was just a tangent though... I'm saying that's nice that he did that, but that's really not a big deal at all. That's the least a man could do for a piece of my time and conversation... heck, ALL of them should be doing at least that for you so that Coffee Guy shouldn't stand out as different and "sweet," know what I mean? Taking you to the hospital cafeteria (I assume) and paying for your coffee ain't really a thang!

Anyway, yeah, what I would do is unfriend him from FB and don't take any more calls, text, etc. from him if you haven't cut him off already.

As for the others, I have no idea why this is happening. Like most of us have said, it's probably not anything you're specifically doing, because these dudes are pretty bold these days... but as I asked before, even if these men seem nice enough, is there still some kind of "edge" or "come on" in their conversation? It can be real subtle, but I encountered it the other day, for example, and I just "knew" that he was the type who would drop the sex talk on me eventually... maybe I was wrong, but I gave him a brief answer to his question and kept walking.

Maybe I just have a sixth sense about these things... something about when a guy is just a wee bit too smooth in his "niceness" or "friendliness."

 

[NeeSee]

Re: I know I should be flattered but- Why do I get offered sex instead of a relations

For the most part they are just trying to see where you head's at and see if you'll give it on up.

 

[MizzBrown]

Re: I know I should be flattered but- Why do I get offered sex instead of a relations

We always blaming the man but now i see that it is US.

It's always us.

We have the power and have HAD the power, yet we still can't get right.

 

[Gigi-07]

Re: I know I should be flattered but- Why do I get offered sex instead of a relations

this is not fair..... suggestive clothing contributes
but with a man that offers that kind of dialogue
usually does not care..what a woman is wearing

by the way..check out your language
completely disrespectful and totally uncalled for
the OP asked for advice...not filth
how dare you......
objectify her

dude, you need to relax. You have taken my post waaaaay out of context. You don't even know me like that.

And while I agree with your first statement (somewhat), I'm still inclined to believe whatever "vibe" she's giving off is much stronger than she knows. I'm here to HELP her, I feel DISREPECTED for her. She obviously didn't realize that this is not a form of flattery.

My language was bad? I said "tits" and "prostitutes uniform"...big whoop. I don't speak like a nun so I'm automatically objectifying her, being disrespectful. lmao!



How dare YOU. Your post was uncalled for.

My opinion. I tell it like it is, like how I feel. This is the same thing I'd tell my little sis, my good friend, I tell it raw and unsugarcoated. Too bad if it offends you, love. If she has a bone to pick with me, she will (and she accepted my advice quite nicely btw )

 

[Bunny77]

Re: I know I should be flattered but- Why do I get offered sex instead of a relations

We always blaming the man but now i see that it is US.

It's always us.

We have the power and have HAD the power, yet we still can't get right.

Elaborate, por favor!

 

[Gigi-07]

Re: I know I should be flattered but- Why do I get offered sex instead of a relations

NOT TRUE..don't fool yourself
it's men that are loose
that kind of energy of disresepcting a woman in this way
is angry.... not only lust
and victimizes.... innocent women..
I dress down....wear glasses...cover everything and STILL get hit on ..
forget about wearing my hair down

No.one's.fooling.themselves. and I don't deny that men are loose. never said that.

Gave my advice, never accused the OP of anything implicitly, i dunno her! Only advised her on things plenty of women I KNOW do that attracts the type of attention they don't like. I wish her well, I got approached for relations one time...I felt like trash- and I did nothing wrong. So no need to preach about women doing nothing wrong getting hit on. I know that story already.

 

[MizzBrown]

Re: I know I should be flattered but- Why do I get offered sex instead of a relations

Elaborate, por favor!

Just reading the relationship forum ....you can see it.

If WE change, they will change.

We keep making excuses and acting surprised when we should be more surprised at what WE did or didn't do/say in the situation.

In other words, don't complain about what you permit.

 

[Mimi22]

Re: I know I should be flattered but- Why do I get offered sex instead of a relations

Gotcha... my point about the coffee was just a tangent though... I'm saying that's nice that he did that, but that's really not a big deal at all. That's the least a man could do for a piece of my time and conversation... heck, ALL of them should be doing at least that for you so that Coffee Guy shouldn't stand out as different and "sweet," know what I mean? Taking you to the hospital cafeteria (I assume) and paying for your coffee ain't really a thang!

Anyway, yeah, what I would do is unfriend him from FB and don't take any more calls, text, etc. from him if you haven't cut him off already.

As for the others, I have no idea why this is happening. Like most of us have said, it's probably not anything you're specifically doing, because these dudes are pretty bold these days... but as I asked before, even if these men seem nice enough, is there still some kind of "edge" or "come on" in their conversation? It can be real subtle, but I encountered it the other day, for example, and I just "knew" that he was the type who would drop the sex talk on me eventually... maybe I was wrong, but I gave him a brief answer to his question and kept walking.

Maybe I just have a sixth sense about these things... something about when a guy is just a wee bit too smooth in his "niceness" or "friendliness."

I'm dont really have a knack for men's rogue sexual appetite!
Especially when they start very normal and interesting conversations!

I'm definitely sure its not my dress sense; my shirts arent overly snug and my trousers are loose. I run around all day processing stuff, so I need to be comfy

My guy-friend says that all women have a sexual vibe whatever they're wearing - so that logic kinda goes out the window

Its jus frustrating! I'm holding on to the idea of a good guy, but honestly? do they exist?? How can u tell one from a jerk?

 

[Mimi22]

Re: I know I should be flattered but- Why do I get offered sex instead of a relations

No.one's.fooling.themselves. and I don't deny that men are loose. never said that.

Gave my advice, never accused the OP of anything implicitly, i dunno her! Only advised her on things plenty of women I KNOW do that attracts the type of attention they don't like. I wish her well, I got approached for relations one time...I felt like trash- and I did nothing wrong. So no need to preach about women doing nothing wrong getting hit on. I know that story already.

And I appreciate it, Thanks!

I looked and thought of all your points and sad to say - they didnt pertain to me (while at work anyway! lol).

 

[Bunny77]

Re: I know I should be flattered but- Why do I get offered sex instead of a relations

I'm dont really have a knack for men's rogue sexual appetite!
Especially when they start very normal and interesting conversations!

I'm definitely sure its not my dress sense; my shirts arent overly snug and my trousers are loose. I run around all day processing stuff, so I need to be comfy

My guy-friend says that all women have a sexual vibe whatever they're wearing - so that logic kinda goes out the window

Its jus frustrating! I'm holding on to the idea of a good guy, but honestly? do they exist?? How can u tell one from a jerk?

But see, you still didn't answer my question though. I never said anything about your dress -- like you mentioned, you usually dress down.

But how are they talking to you, even if it's about the weather? Are they using that "smooth" tone of voice? Do these men have an "edge?" I mean, it doesn't matter that they're having "normal" conversations, it's HOW they are speaking to you?

Carlton from Fresh Prince (as an extreme example) wouldn't be someone who would just drop a sex request into a conversation... but Will probably would because he's just "smooth."

How are these guys talking to you?

 

[msa]

Re: I know I should be flattered but- Why do I get offered sex instead of a relations

If every man who approaches you propositions you for sex, then there's something about YOU that needs to change. At the very least, you need to evaluate why you keep talking to the same type of guy. The fact that you find this type of attention flattering lets me know that you may subconsciously be putting out "sexy" vibes so that you get complimented in that way.

There are other things that could be contributing factors. It could be the way you carry yourself, the tone you speak in, or how open you are with a guy. If you meet a guy and give him all your info off the bat, what do you think that shows him? If you start talking about personal subjects in a regular conversation then you've already shown him that you don't really have strict boundaries. Remember, these dudes are strangers, not your friends.

I may be young but I do know that if I talk about certain subjects, speak in a certain voice, give out too much personal information, or just walk a certain way, it's going to invite a certain type of attention. Evaluate yourself first and make some changes because I'm sure it's not just them.

 

[tocktick]

Re: I know I should be flattered but- Why do I get offered sex instead of a relations

Maybe this requires you to take the more "extreme" approach of subtly yet clearly telling a guy that any sexual talk too early on is a turn off. But then again, sometimes when a man reveals the full extent of his crassness/stupidity quickly, it is a blessing in disguise.

Also, if I were you I'd be looking to see if there were patterns in the men I was dating/being friendly with (players, lots of exes, no probs with casual sex etc). If there are similarities in personality, I'd start changing the men I gave my time to. That may mean going to different types of hang-outs, a different age group etc.

 

[Mimi22]

Re: I know I should be flattered but- Why do I get offered sex instead of a relations

But see, you still didn't answer my question though. I never said anything about your dress -- like you mentioned, you usually dress down.

But how are they talking to you, even if it's about the weather? Are they using that "smooth" tone of voice? Do these men have an "edge?" I mean, it doesn't matter that they're having "normal" conversations, it's HOW they are speaking to you?

Carlton from Fresh Prince (as an extreme example) wouldn't be someone who would just drop a sex request into a conversation... but Will probably would because he's just "smooth."

How are these guys talking to you?

ok

Um...lets see.
I dont think they're "smooth toned". The last guy was started a convo along the lines of:

Him:"Wow hey u work on level 7, microbiology?"
Me: yeh I do - sorry no microscope attached to my glasses (corny i know, but I'm corny sue me)
Him: funny ha! do u guys visit the wards? What do u do? I work in radiography by the way, my name is ####.
Me: yes sometimes, only per doctor's request
Him: yadad yada yada...radiography....we have a new machine...yadad yada...resonance is amazingly higher than the last L-something...(he got really technical really fast!)
Me: wow sounds kool etc etc etc
Him: would u like to sit and have coffee before u head up? We're crowding the till lol *pays for my cofee* 1.55

We sit and talk about random stuff before exchanging numbers and FB.
He didnt use a deep sexy voice. it was more geeky and rather normal. He was blunt, smiled. he never complimented me. asked if we could go out sometime and talk some more. HE WAS NORMAL

Fast forward a couple of convos - no date....sexy talk! I'm like huh? dude....no.

Um...and no i never initiated sex or asked bout past gf's. It was more like, I like ur FB photos. U love to have fun...then it got xxx!

So sad cuz he was so cute

 

[Avaya]

Re: I know I should be flattered but- Why do I get offered sex instead of a relations

Maybe these guys are watching too much Grey's Anatomy and they think everyone that works in the hospital are always sexing it up with one another? Sorry, that's all I got.

 

[Bunny77]

Re: I know I should be flattered but- Why do I get offered sex instead of a relations

ok

Um...lets see.
I dont think they're "smooth toned". The last guy was started a convo along the lines of:

Him:"Wow hey u work on level 7, microbiology?"
Me: yeh I do - sorry no microscope attached to my glasses (corny i know, but I'm corny sue me)
Him: funny ha! do u guys visit the wards? What do u do? I work in radiography by the way, my name is ####.
Me: yes sometimes, only per doctor's request
Him: yadad yada yada...radiography....we have a new machine...yadad yada...resonance is amazingly higher than the last L-something...(he got really technical really fast!)
Me: wow sounds kool etc etc etc
Him: would u like to sit and have coffee before u head up? We're crowding the till lol *pays for my cofee* 1.55

We sit and talk about random stuff before exchanging numbers and FB.
He didnt use a deep sexy voice. it was more geeky and rather normal. He was blunt, smiled. he never complimented me. asked if we could go out sometime and talk some more. HE WAS NORMAL

Fast forward a couple of convos - no date....sexy talk! I'm like huh? dude....no.

Um...and no i never initiated sex or asked bout past gf's. It was more like, I like ur FB photos. U love to have fun...then it got xxx!

So sad cuz he was so cute

Thanks. Sounds fine to me for the most part... I would have left out the comments about his Facebook photos or the "You love to have fun" statement. I'm not saying that was wrong, but it sounds like he took that as a come on and got too comfortable.

I think I have to agree with Tocktick and msa. I think that some women can have a tendency to come off as "too" fun and "too" crazy (not bad crazy, but silly crazy) and that men then think they can say whatever whenever they feel like it. Stay friendly, but show some reserve. Limit the amount of conversations you have with men who have asked for your number but have not taken you out on a date. Are they telling you these things in person, or by phone/text/Facebook/computer?

The last dude who propositioned me (again, after two real dinner dates), did so by e-mail, even though I had called him (to return his call). He never called me back, but made the sexual statement by e-mail. I seriously doubt that he would have looked me in the eye like that over dinner and said the same thing.

Yes, some dudes might have, and maybe these guys did say that in person, but I get the impression that they are not saying this while looking directly in your face.

Don't give away too much of yourself in conversation with these men to let them feel so darn "comfortable" about saying whatever.