I Have No Words. What Would You Have Done?

[Shimmie]

Watch this video, it tops at 6:30.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3EjolpEEdcc

Please share the following:

1. Your first reaction

2. Your first thought

3. What would you have done as the parent?

Thanks for sharing.

 

[Shimmie]

Follow up vids:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nSzTf-zLVS4

This child is being abused and he is acting out. No excuse for his behavior, but I do believe that he is being abused.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P4hcEf0XZ2k

 

[F8THINHIM]

Wow!
That is gong to require a lot of therapy.
1. My first reaction was shock at the thought of a child smacking hie mother.
2. My first thought was what did she do to make him so frustrated and angry.

But the last video was more telling. When he apologized, I noticed that he apologized for making her depressed. It seems that there has never been a healthy grieving process after the death of the daughter/sister. So much blame, accusations and denial. Very Abusive.
I could see he was so frustrated at her denial or lack of recollection to his claims of abuse by her, while she seemed so calm/smug when stating that she did not recall these incidents. Also, noting that she came from an abusive family life, she needs healthy parenting skills.
I know there is such a thing as vows and judgements and she judged her family and vowed not to be like them. But she seems to have recreated the same atmosphere in her home.
They need to learn what a healthy family relationship looks like. They are both in such pain.
I pray they find the help they need to come through this before Noah gets older/bigger.

 

[Shimmie]

Wow!

That is gong to require a lot of therapy.

1. My first reaction was shock at the thought of a child smacking hie mother.

2. My first thought was what did she do to make him so frustrated and angry.

But the last video was more telling. When he apologized, I noticed that he apologized for making her depressed. It seems that there has never been a healthy grieving process after the death of the daughter/sister. So much blame, accusations and denial. Very Abusive.

I could see he was so frustrated at her denial or lack of recollection to his claims of abuse by her, while she seemed so calm/smug when stating that she did not recall these incidents. Also, noting that she came from an abusive family life, she needs healthy parenting skills.
I know there is such a thing as vows and judgements and she judged her family and vowed not to be like them. But she seems to have recreated the same atmosphere in her home.
They need to learn what a healthy family relationship looks like. They are both in such pain.

I pray they find the help they need to come through this before Noah gets older/bigger.

Thank you. You've shared excellent insight in this.

Her reaction that slap was not 'the parental norm'. Even the 'calmest' parent would have jumped up (or backed away). She seemed to be 'purposely' making him look out of control while concealing her 'real self' which is also out of control.

 

[Iwanthealthyhair67]

Wow, there is no respect there at all, she created that monster...parents and children can never be on the same level and this is where some of the problem is. Dr. Phil referring to the mother as a girl is wrong he just brought the gravity of him slapping his mother down to him slapping a classmate. Checking out the rest of the vid...

 

[mrselle]

1. Your first reaction My first reaction was "wow". This is a very defiant little boy. Then I realized that he lost his sister, so I felt like a lot of his behavior was him not knowing how to deal with the loss of his sister. When he slapped his mother I thought that she was pretty calm, which lead me to believe that that might not have been the first time that he has hit her. I wasn't surprised by her calm demeanor. Most adults know how to practice self control when they know they are being watched.

2. Your first thought I wondered if this was staged or if they had been through therapy before because the words he was using didn't seem like words that a typical 8 year old uses. Some of his words and phrases seemed like he had been coached by therapist on how to communicate with his mother.

3. What would you have done as the parent? As a parent I probably would have flung his little round body across the room.

 

[Shimmie]

Wow, there is no respect there at all, she created that monster...parents and children can never be on the same level and this is where some of the problem is.

Dr. Phil referring to the mother as a girl is wrong he just brought the gravity of him slapping his mother down to him slapping a classmate. Checking out the rest of the vid...

Thanks Healthy Hair for bringing this up (the bolded above). I didn't 'see' this at first, but now that you mention it, I now 'see' it and I agree with you. That's an excellent observation you made. I missed it completely.

I'm trying to find the other videos which followed. They may be on Dr. Phil's website.

 

[Shimmie]

1. Your first reaction My first reaction was "wow". This is a very defiant little boy. Then I realized that he lost his sister, so I felt like a lot of his behavior was him not knowing how to deal with the loss of his sister. When he slapped his mother I thought that she was pretty calm, which lead me to believe that that might not have been the first time that he has hit her. I wasn't surprised by her calm demeanor. Most adults know how to practice self control when they know they are being watched.

2. Your first thought I wondered if this was staged or if they had been through therapy before because the words he was using didn't seem like words that a typical 8 year old uses. Some of his words and phrases seemed like he had been coached by therapist on how to communicate with his mother.

3. What would you have done as the parent? As a parent I probably would have flung his little round body across the room.

Thanks mrselle... you made another excellent observation that I missed. This boy does behave as if he has been in therapy before. He knew the 'format' of sitting face to face 'exercise'. Except that he too his exercise too far. If that child had hit me, he would have felt a slap so hard, he'd never raise his hand to me again. He wouldn't need Dr. Phil's 'Brat Camp'.

 

[kaykari]

That made me so angry when he slapped her. It was like he was trying to provoke a response. Can you imagine slapping your mom? Mine woulda choke slammed me. And that would have looked abusive.

I feel sorry for that kid tho. He needs something he cant get from her. She seems off and cold somehow

 

[Shimmie]

That made me so angry when he slapped her. It was like he was trying to provoke a response. Can you imagine slapping your mom? Mine woulda choke slammed me. And that would have looked abusive.

I feel sorry for that kid tho. He needs something he cant get from her. She seems off and cold somehow

Thank you kaykari... I share your same feelings and I appreciate you for helping me to have a 'balanced' view of this. My first reaction was "O' no he did not do that". My second reaction was to knock him on the floor and pin him to it.

If I eva' thought of raising my hand to my mother, I would not be a member of this forum today. And that is no exaggeration.

Thanks again for sharing.

 

[Misseyl]

For a 10 year old he has a lot of opinions. I would have draped him up long ago. I don't know what goes on in his house but he has an opinion about everything and he's not paying any bills so I would have suggested that he gets emancipated before I stomp him.

Reminds me of the 9 year old stow-a-way, the kid who hopped a plane from Minneapolis to Las Vegas the other day. You can't tell them anything because they know everything.

 

[Shimmie]

For a 10 year old he has a lot of opinions. I would have draped him up long ago. I don't know what goes on in his house but he has an opinion about everything and he's not paying any bills so I would have suggested that he gets emancipated before I stomp him.

Reminds me of the 9 year old stow-a-way, the kid who hopped a plane from Minneapolis to Las Vegas the other day. You can't tell them anything because they know everything.

Misseyl... your entire post is my first reaction....

Thank you so much for sharing. And you are so right. This 10 year old child does indeed have a lot of opinions. He is very 'mouthy'. My mom would have 'taped' the up quick and not with duct tape, either.