I have a hair problem.

[MissJ]

Well, I have a hair/people problem. It has been brought to my attention several times in the past month that my hair is always messed up. First my excuse was that I just needed a perm. Even after I've gotten the perm several people have made comments about the way my hair looks (not to me). I just don't know what to do with it. I didn't know that it looked that bad. It has been suggested that I go to a hairdresser, but I wouldn't go that far in trying to make my hair look better. Any hairdo suggestions on things that I can do myself to make my hair look decent?

 

[kitchen_tician]

Well, Miss J we need to know "whatcha workin'" with. LOL

I'm new and don't know anything about your current hair condition. Could you fill me in?

 

[cutebajangirl]

Okay so I get this alot. Basically what it means (or the conclusion I have come to) is that how can you have all this hair and not have it have that typical straight out of the hairdresser I just used intense heat to get this style look. People really seem to have a problem when you have hair that is just normal. You hair in the picture looked great so I don't know what they are talking about.

 

[pink_flower]

Yea I was gonna ask you for specifics b/c I just saw your photo and your hair looked nice. People are crazy. But for "suggestions", maybe a nice trim or rollerset???

 

[Spagirl]

Hi Girlie,

How have you been wearing your? If you're the MissJ I've seen post here in the past, I haven't seen pictures of you with jacked up hair. What is the condition of your hair?

 

[kitchen_tician]

where's the photo you all are speaking of?

 

[cutebajangirl]

In the I met his family thread on the OT board.

 

[pink_flower]

off topic discussion..title "I met his family", I think.

 

[Ayeshia]

personally i like the messy/loose look in hair (the perfect example is jennifermd's album with her hair loosely pinned up..i love that style) im not a huge fan of the slicked back neat pony tail. i wear it sometimes, but for the most part i like wild and care free styles

people always think that the hair has to be "slicked down"/combed in order for it to be considered a style when thats not true imo.

 

[NubianAngel]

OHH! You met wave cap guy's family? I gotta start hanging out in OT more often

 

[MissJ]

Ok, this is a recent pic that I posted in another thread. This was the end of May a few days after my mom permed my hair. It's the best my hair has looked in months.

I have midback length hair that's usually more frizzy than it is in the picture. Someone convinced me to cut bangs. I did, and I had a job interview the other day. My bangs got showered on, and some people that I knew thought that I looked a complete mess!

I thought that I looked ok. I just don't know what to do with my hair. I do it except for when my mom gives me a perm. Some people said that I need to stop letting my mom do my hair (who's been perming it since 3rd grade) and go to a salon.

First of all, that's expensive. Secondly, I don't want to be sitting there all day. Thirdly, I've read some beauty shop horror stories on this board and don't want to star in my own. I just don't know what to do with my hair.

 

[kitchen_tician]

Thanks ladies.

Miss J you are very pretty and so is your hair.
Like cutebajangirl said, people expect for hair to look "salon silky" and that's not how everyone may want their hair.

I think it looks nice. Actually, I get more compliments with doing my own hair as opposed to the salon. Like others suggested, you may want to experiment with different styles, like rollersets and flexirods. Once you have all those curls, you can try all sorts of various pin ups, flowers, hair sticks, etc...

You don't have a hair problem, THEY DO!

 

[sillygurl18]

I got that to when I was in highschool. Your hair looks fine they think that you should have updos and curls all the time. There is nothing wrong at all with your hair. I used to get rollersets and they had something to say about that. They think that because you have long hair that you should get elaborate styles.

I wouldn't pay it any mind you have mid back length hair because you don't get your hair fried and spritzed within an inch of it's "life".

 

[Allandra]

Hey MissJ,

There's several threads here on bantu knots. If you can do a few bantu knots on your hair, let them dry throughly, take them out, and finger comb, I think that would look good on you.

You could also try (or get) a roller set and wear your hair curly that way. This would also look good on you.

I remember you did a braid out (or was it a twist out?) and posted some pictures. I thought that style was nice on you too.

You could try a cute updo (doesn't have to be fancy), and leave a few curls dangling at the nap of your neck or at the side.

 

[inthepink]

[ QUOTE ]
Allandra said:
Hey MissJ,

There's several threads here on bantu knots. If you can do a few bantu knots on your hair, let them dry throughly, take them out, and finger comb, I think that would look good on you.

You could also try (or get) a roller set and wear your hair curly that way. This would also look good on you.

I remember you did a braid out (or was it a twist out?) and posted some pictures. I thought that style was nice on you too.

You could try a cute updo (doesn't have to be fancy), and leave a few curls dangling at the nap of your neck or at the side.

[/ QUOTE ]

I think Allandra has some great suggestions.

I also don't think you should nix the idea of going to a salon to have your hair done. Some stylists can do a better job than we can. But ultimately, that's up to you. Do you think your hair could look better? If you do, I think giving a professional a chance may be a possible idea. Of course, I can see this decision may be tougher on you than most since your mom has been doing your hair since you were 3. But if you do your research, I am sure you can find a place that you can trust. Maybe there is someone from LHCF who can recommend someone for you.

Oops, I forgot to mention that you and your hair look cute in that picture!! You have such a cute shape. They shoes look so cute on you.

 

[jd_bdfly]

Miss J,

I think your hair looks fine. I think maybe some of the "feedback" you are getting might have to do with the fact that you live in the South. From what my southern friends have told me, down south, women are expected to be perfectly coiffed and dressed nice all the time.

 

[Ayeshia]

[ QUOTE ]
sillygurl18 said:
I got that to when I was in highschool. Your hair looks fine they think that you should have updos and curls all the time. There is nothing wrong at all with your hair. I used to get rollersets and they had something to say about that. They think that because you have long hair that you should get elaborate styles.

I wouldn't pay it any mind you have mid back length hair because you don't get your hair fried and spritzed within an inch of it's "life".

[/ QUOTE ]

bingo!!! thats what people used to say to me too.
"Yeah if i had your hair i would do this and that to it......"okay what is wrong with a simple ponytail? The reason why they didnt have hair was becasue of them trying to do those elaborate styles that required tons of spritz and gel and then fry it to a crisp with a curling iron.

 

[sillygurl18]

Ayeshia feels me. It used to piss me off too.

 

[jainygirl]

Ms J your hair looks fine. Stop listening to criticizing folks... they wont be happy until youre bald THEN they'll be complaining that you need to get a weave.... so just relax and take yoga or some kind of meditation so you can tune those suckas out -- jainygirl

 

[MissJ]

Thanks for the suggestions. I guess I'll just have to put more effort into my hair. I usually just like roll it in a ponytail and wear a protective style or let it down like in the picture. I keep hearing complaints, so I guess that's not acceptable. I guess I'll just have to spend more time on it if I don't want to get complaints, because braid outs and twist outs take me hours to dry. I did buy one of those Scunci sets from Wal-Mart but never used it. This is a good time for me to learn.

I'm still kind of shocked about this revelation about my hair. At first I just ignored the comments, because I thought the person didn't know what they were talking about. Then other people started talking about my hair, too.

I'll experiment with some things and then show them to the board for approval. Then maybe I can wear "styles" out in public.

 

[inthepink]

MissJ - Have you ever tried letting your braidouts dry overnight? Or giving the drying a boost by sitting under the dryer?
It takes my hair HOURS to dry so I dry overnight and I have wash early in the evening. But if I didn't have the braidout, I don't know what I'd do.

 

[sillygurl18]

MissJ they don't know what they are talking about in my opinion. If I were you I wouldn't change just because people complain. If you like it how you wear it wear it that way. I think they may be jealous.

 

[Ayeshia]

[ QUOTE ]
MissJ said:
Thanks for the suggestions. I guess I'll just have to put more effort into my hair. I usually just like roll it in a ponytail and wear a protective style or let it down like in the picture. I keep hearing complaints, so I guess that's not acceptable. I guess I'll just have to spend more time on it if I don't want to get complaints, because braid outs and twist outs take me hours to dry. I did buy one of those Scunci sets from Wal-Mart but never used it. This is a good time for me to learn.

I'm still kind of shocked about this revelation about my hair. At first I just ignored the comments, because I thought the person didn't know what they were talking about. Then other people started talking about my hair, too.

I'll experiment with some things and then show them to the board for approval. Then maybe I can wear "styles" out in public.

[/ QUOTE ]

please dont feel like you have to please whoever you are trying to please because it will never work. Rgeardless if you go to a stylist or not. Do YOU feel that you need to change your hair? If not then so be it. If these are envious people, they will find something else to pick on after you get your hair done. It never fails.If you want to change your hair, do it for your own gratitude

 

[cutebajangirl]

Once you fix your hair to their satisfaction (which won't happen until it starts to fall out from all the styling) then they will start in on "Why she so small?" Which will really mean "Wow how does she keep her figure so and I can't".

 

[HollyGolightly]

missj, don't listen to those haters. they are just jealous that their hair isn't that long. shoot, even i'm a little envious that my hair isn't as long as yours.

 

[Isis]

You're hair is gorgeous and so what if others complain! It sounds like jealousy to me too.
Braidouts or twistouts can be done on hair that's already dried too or allowed to dry overnight as Hairlove mentioned. There are a lot of pretty styles you can do!

 

[phynestone]

Miss J-

Your hair looks lovely. I can't wait until my hair reaches that length. I think in a lot of southern states, black girls always need to have their hair "done" as in curls, updos, and so forth. Honestly, I think some of those "styles" are a bit too extravagant for everyday life, but to each their own. Everyone has given great advice. Keep doing what you're doing.

 

[dannie]

I say, shut the haters out!!! Your hair looks pretty *just like you* and it appears healthy! You don't have to walk around with some extravagent do. All that stylings not good anyway. You have nothing to worry about.

 

[OnceUponAtime]

Miss J, I wonder if you wore you hair in neat tied up protective styles everyday, if they wouldn't complain about that too? How is their hair looking? I don't say that to be mean, just that sometimes people look at an already good thing and think they can "improve" it when they have work of their own to do.

Analyze your hair and you determine if it needs anything. Moisture? Trim? Anything? If all is good, you like it and it's still healthy looking to you, then say toddles to all the nay sayers! Looks good to me, but I only see very cute pics of you with pretty hair.

 

[Shawn]

I think you look great. In addition to my own opinion, I consider this factor: What type of reaction do we get from the opposite sex with our look? This is often a better measure than what we get from other women, who tend to calculate their own jealousies into the equation.