I have a hair problem.

[GrowthSpurt]

MissJ you're so pretty! Your hair looks nice in the pic. But I understand what you mean...how other people can comment on your hair. It's like if you have longer hair you need to have it LAID and STYLED 365 days a year. (Why do we let people tell us how to look?)

I wear a lot of oil in my hair, and sometimes I have to run to wipe it off. I keep babywipes in my desk at work to wipe the back of my neck, etc. But that is beacause I care about the health before style.

I get people telling me all kinds of stuff about my hair. Why do I wear weaves if I have hair already. Why don't I get a perm? If I put grease and water in my hair it would be so pretty so why don't I just wear my own hair for the summer?

Just take care of your hair girl. Bump what those other people say. Unless it is something serious like you work behind a front desk and have to look sharp...don't sweat it.

 

[queenofmean68]

Are they talking about how it is styled? Or if it looks dry and lifeless?

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MissJ said:
Well, I have a hair/people problem. It has been brought to my attention several times in the past month that my hair is always messed up. First my excuse was that I just needed a perm. Even after I've gotten the perm several people have made comments about the way my hair looks (not to me). I just don't know what to do with it. I didn't know that it looked that bad. It has been suggested that I go to a hairdresser, but I wouldn't go that far in trying to make my hair look better. Any hairdo suggestions on things that I can do myself to make my hair look decent?

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[Lindy]

[ QUOTE ]
queenofmean68 said:
Are they talking about how it is styled? Or if it looks dry and lifeless?

[/ QUOTE ]

That's my question, too. I think that as long as you keep your hair well moisturized and so that it looks healthy and shiny, you can be wearing it in a bun and it will still look pretty!!

Your hair is long, so there are soooo many cute, simple styles you can do. Wear it in a loose ponytail pulled to one side, or in two low ponytails (braided or not)...

I'd say that if you're going to wear your hair down, make sure it looks moisturized and shiny. If it looks dry, the style won't look nice.

Also, like someone else already said, you can try doing a twistout or braidout on dry hair that you have spritzed with a leave-in and coated with a little oil. Just do it at night and in the morning, Voila!! Pretty waves/crimps!!

HTH!!!

 

[ChocoKitty]

MissJ--You look very pretty in your outfit! Plus your hair is beautiful too!

Before you decide to do anything to your hair please-please-please look at the heads of the folks who are talking about you! You may recieve another revelation. Just like others--I too have experienced people telling me that I should do something to my hair! They're just jealous and want your hair on top of their heads so that they can burn it out by over styling it!

 

[simplycee]

MissJ

It is much more important what you think of yourself than what others think of you. Just keep that in mind before you start trying to change anything about yourself!

 

[missykeyana]

To be honest, this sounds like a people problem more than a hair problem. Your hair looks very nice in that picture, as does your overall look. Sounds like some people are drunk off the haterade.

However, if you feel that you need to change, you can always try hair accessories such as clips and headbands, as well as the other suggestions mentioned here.

 

[bitesized79]

MissJ, I gotta quote what another LHCF board member said:
"You can't please everybody, so why not take the time out to please yourself!"
If YOU are happy with your hair and the way that it looks, then that should be the end of it. Don't let haters get to you, cause if you let them change the way you wear your hair, then what's next? The way you dress, what you eat, where you go? Girl, serve those haters a cup of shut-the-hell up and keep steppin! Are they gonna pay your beauty salon bills? Are they gonna do your hair? Hell no! So they have absolutely no right to say any thing! Haters like that make me sooo angry!

Change your hairstyle only if it makes you happy, and for no one else!

 

[MissJ]

Thanks for the comments and advice, everyone. Like I said, I didn't think that my hair looked that bad, but it could be better.

[ QUOTE ]
Lindy said:
[ QUOTE ]
queenofmean68 said:
Are they talking about how it is styled? Or if it looks dry and lifeless?

[/ QUOTE ]

That's my question, too. I think that as long as you keep your hair well moisturized and so that it looks healthy and shiny, you can be wearing it in a bun and it will still look pretty!!

Your hair is long, so there are soooo many cute, simple styles you can do. Wear it in a loose ponytail pulled to one side, or in two low ponytails (braided or not)...

I'd say that if you're going to wear your hair down, make sure it looks moisturized and shiny. If it looks dry, the style won't look nice.

Also, like someone else already said, you can try doing a twistout or braidout on dry hair that you have spritzed with a leave-in and coated with a little oil. Just do it at night and in the morning, Voila!! Pretty waves/crimps!!

HTH!!!

[/ QUOTE ]

I think maybe the problem is that it looks dry, and on Friday my bangs looked especially dry since they got drenched in the shower that I wasn't familiar with at the hotel.

I have to go back for a second interview at this very nice law firm tomorrow, and now, I don't know exactly what to do with my hair. I was gonna wash it and use Elasta QP Mango Butter as a leave-in. That may not be the best thing to use. I always use that and air dry, and that's where the frizz comes from. Anybody have any suggestion on what I should use today so that my hair will look decent tomorrow?

 

[moneychaser]

For frizz I suggest a good Serum

MissJ,
How are the heads of these people complaining to you? Please share.

 

[MissJ]

Umm, well the people range in ages, so I wouldn't expect an old lady to have as good of a hairdo as a young one. I've only seen one of the young ones once, but she was talking about my hair to someone and calling and telling other people that my hair was busted after meeting me. She has about shoulder length hair. It looked ok, no frizz.

 

[Wolftrap]

I know I may be in the minority on this but....Your hair in the picture looks fine to me I don't think there is anything wrong with it in the picture but you even said yourself that it was looking special that day. I have seen people with long hair who's hair looks a hot mess. It may just be that you do not know how to style your hair. And I don't think if its a lot of people saying this that they all are wrong or hating. You may need to just take the time out to style your hair nicely. It seems like you are dead set against going to the hair salon but I SERIOUSLY think you should reconsider this. A lot of the ladies on here I'm sure can reccommed and nice inexpensive salon. It seems like your mom has been doing your hair for a VERY long time and mom may not be updated on some new styles. The hair salon will help you with this. How do you wear your hair on a regular basis? I think that all these people can't be wrong. But you just may not have been taught the proper technique of styling your hair. I say go to a salon recommended by one of the ladies here although mama may have good intentions now that you are a grown woman you need to do more with your hair. Do you have a best friend? What does her hair look like? What does she say about your hair? I know my bf would tell me IMMEDIATELY if my hair was jacked up on a regular. Don't be afraid of stylists and don't be afraid to take the time to experiment with different hairstyles. There are so many recommended on this board that I have tried and have come out great.

 

[moneychaser]

[ QUOTE ]
MissJ said:
Umm, well the people range in ages, so I wouldn't expect an old lady to have as good of a hairdo as a young one. I've only seen one of the young ones once, but she was talking about my hair to someone and calling and telling other people that my hair was busted after meeting me. She has about shoulder length hair. It looked ok, no frizz.

[/ QUOTE ]

Cutey on Dutie
MissJ,
Your hair looks perfectly fine IMO (thick n' healthy)... If you have been happy with your hair for the past Nth years, why change just because someone disapproves

I have seen this time and time before, they are just plain jealous

..
I say keep doing you, and shake dem haters off

 

[jd_bdfly]

Why don't you try a rollerset the day before your interview and then wrap it and sleep on it that night? That should come out pretty smooth.

 

[inthepink]

If your hair looks dry after using Elasta QP Mango Butter, I would suggest not using it anymore all. If it doesn't work, don't use it. As much as I loved the smell of QP Mango Butter, it did not work for my hair and this is when I figured out that my hair does not like WATER-based moisturizers. Have you considered using an oil-based moisturizer. I am trying to think of something inexpensive...but when relaxed I used Aveda Anti-Humectant Pomade. You could also try adding some oil to your Mango Butter.

Wolftrap and I both mentioned you considering going to a salon (just considering)...I'm curious to know your thoughts.

 

[MissJ]

I don't know how to roller set or wrap. I love the smell of Mango Butter. I thought about adding oil to it. I wonder how that would work. I don't have very much money to spend at a salon. I don't particularly like them. If I get this job in Atlanta, I'll probably have a nice selection from which to choose and just may find a good one. I just think that even if I get my hair done at a salon I wouldn't be able to keep it looking like that after the visit.

 

[TrustMeLove]

Learn some new styles from the boards to do your hair in more presentable fashions IF THIS IS WHAT YOU WANT. But practice makes perfect so buy the tools and learn.

But don't start relying on a hair dresser if you havent thus far because its expensive and a hard habit to break. Once I learn how to relax my own hair I will rarely see a stylist except for a trim, but then when I learn how to trim, I wont be seeing them at all.

See im trying to break my habit with the hair dresser, so don't sart one. Good Luck

-faye

 

[inthepink]

Don't doubt that you won't be able to keep a "salon-do" fresh. It takes practice. But I think just by being a member of the forum, you can get a lot of tips quickly. You just need to have more faith in yourself. Take time with your hair and listen to what it likes and doesn't like.

I used to go only go to the salon to get my relaxer touch-ups. I learned how to do my hair well enough at home that I was getting salon results.

 

[Mahalialee4]

Going for an interview...Put it in a bun or chignon. As for the rest of the time do your own thang! Ask you bf, how he would like to see you wear it, when you go to vist the mama/ When dinner and the inspections are over, do your own thang! As far as going to the hair dresser...to get it fried , dyed and laid, to the side, maybe just once, be thankful if you have enough to wear it in one of those short poodley type bubble styles just like a nice looking ole potential stepford wives. Then everyone will be happy, but you and your bf...and trust me, if your hair was such an issue or a problem for him, he would have made an issu of it by now...(secretly, I think he likes it just the way it is). Bonjour

 

[GodMadeMePretty]

If you're okay with the way your hair is styled, then don't change because of that. If your hair does indeed look dry, try an oil moisturizer. Airdrying can sometimes cause frizz but you can manage that by making sure that the ends are smooth as it is airdrying. You can do that simply by putting magnetic rollers in your ponytail. That's another way to get a rollerset without doing all the parts. Your hair will dry smooth and not frizzy. Try that. I know it's too late today but try it next time you wash. Guaranteed that your hair will be shiny and less frizzy without you doing anything drastically different. Plus, you'll have curls. You can keep the curls by doing pincurls or bantu knots.

HTH.

 

[ladygirl99205]

Don't listen to what people say about you, you are a pretty girl and their probably jealous of your hair and you. Your damned if you do, and your damed if you don't. People always have something negative to say about somebody, this is a very cruel world we live in. Your hair is fine, but if your not satisfied take the advice of the ladies and try to come up with some more styles

 

[Leslie_C]

First of all, you are a gorgeous girl all around so I think some ppl are probably just jealous so dont let them affect your self esteem bc thats what they want! Second, if where you live is anything like the way it is in my area, there are some REAL GHETTO-FIED girls around here and while they think that style is cute, Im more of a simple/classy type so Im not into the fingerwave, press and curl, quickweave with a ponytail on the side look! lol...

Dont worry about your hair if u like it the way it is. If YOU decide you want to get it done as a special treat, just shop around and make sure you tell them exactly what you want done and also dont let them cut it.
I think if u got a nice wrap style(flat ironed), you would like it. Its simple but gorgeous. I just recently started going to salons sometimes and the results are nice...my hair looked like the box of a perm for the first time in my life. And believe it or not, you can make the style last all week by just wrapping it up at night(u can ask them to show u how!) and spraying a little oil sheen on it in the morning and combing it down and going! when it starts to look a little flat, throw a few rollers in it while you are around the house cleaning or whatever, and it will bring the body back.

and by the way, I wish u could see the way my hair used to look back in the day when my mom did my hair till I was a teeneager then I did it myself for years, frying it with curling irons and perming it all the time. Jacked up wasnt even the word! only VERY recently did I learn how to make my hair look decent. it just takes practice, but personally I think u look great.

The easiest styles for me to learn were braid outs(On only slightly damp hair overnight).

I have a big head so I really dont like buns(makes it look even bigger and me look bald...so I have been wearing it up in a clip with bangs down on the side, or down, or half up half down with clips,etc. all in braid out styles. the look is cute and fresh and non damaging!

 

[Spagirl]

I too would suggest a bun on a conservative interview.

For frizzy dry hair: Make sure using a shampoo that is not stripping your hair (ex: KeraCare Hydrating poo), find a moisturizing condition that your hair likes (ex: Jason's Sea Kelp, Kendra MC, LUST, etc.), follow up with a leave-in conditioner (Giovanni's, Aveda leave-in Elixir, Tigi Ego Booster, etc.), than an oil (ex. WGO (my hair loves this stuff), an oil blend containing castor oil, BB Oil Moisturizer Hair Lotion with Castor oil and Aloe, etc..). I would then pull it back into a ponytail (smooth those ends flat and lay it on your head) and either air dry ( with a scarf to help keep it smoothed down) or heat dry with hair pulled back into a bun.

You might on other occasions use hair accessories when wearing a bun (ex. hair sticks (avoid the "Marsian" look by placing them off center to the side), banana clips, hair jewelry (use with caution), etc. Don't forget decorative side combs for french rolls.

Along with the tips the ladies have shared you could also check the "How To's" thread for additional ideas.

Good luck and stay sweet!

 

[MissJ]

Thanks for all the suggestions everyone! I'll try those suggestions! On the first interview I wore a bun and bangs, but the bangs got wet. It looked bad. Lastnight I bought some Smooth Shine Polishing hair polisher. I just slicked my hair back with it and put it in a ponytail. I think it looked much better. Hopefully, I made a good impression and got the job!

 

[Spagirl]

To eliminate the possibility of messy bang because of them getting wet you might want to consider: Not wearing bangs, keeping one of those rain scarfs or hat in you bag, scope out the interview location's bathroom the day before to see if there are any bathroom sockets to plug a flat iron into, keep brush and gel in bag, as a back up, to slick hair back, etc...