I have a hair confession to make....

D

DaughterOfZion1

New Member
So I really have to get this off my chest because it is really bothering me.

I cut all my hair off Dec 06/Jan 07. It has been almost 5 years and I have 7.5 inches of hair to show for it. It's is so painfully shameful for me for alot of reasons.

I went natural before "the movement". When I first went natural I didnt know about taking care of hair or any of that. I finally learned in 07 and began my journey. I am a bit of a slow grower, but my hair was moving on. This past December I was almost at APL (almost apl in the back, collar bone in the front) when a hair dresser gave me a healthy cut (she said I needed it, i kind of agreed.) My hair has regressed ever since. I don't know what happened, but its just bleh now. I stopped taking care of it for a long time because I lost heart since it just seemed like it wasnt growing/I wasn't retaining. Fast forward to now and I have 7.5 inches of hair.

What hurts THE most is I have inspired SOOOOO many people to start taking care of their hair. All my friends are natural now (everyones natural now lol) and their hair is surpassing mine. Its shameful kind of. My best friend is WL now.

I just started taking care of my hair again. I was going to cut it all off in Jan and start over, but I'm just going to from here. No one knows how much its regressed. I've been protective styling etc, but it just hasn't done what I thought it would do.

SOOO I'm starting over again (no BC). I just had to get this off my chest because it's really saddening.
 
Believe it or not, I'm starting to feel the same way. I transitioned from heat damaged hair in 2002 and I only have BSL hair to show for it (barely in the front). I have cut my hair over the years, but mostly just trims - no major cuts. I know I'm a slow grower, but dang!

I admit I didn't always take good care of my hair (daily wash-n-gos, using questionable products, not detangling carefully, etc) until last year. If I'm not near WL by the spring, I think I'm going to start over too.
 
It's just such a frustrating feellllllllling!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We shouldn't start over though. Maybe a healthy chop will help kick start you.

I think I'm going to do that.
 
Awh I'm sorry your going through this rough moment..but it is just that, a moment.. Don't worry about people that you inspired to go natural surpassing your hair length.. Healthy hair isn't about length. I've seen women with short hair, medium and long hair and can equally admire their hair if it's healthy..health of hair is what I notice more than length. Your hair can be to your waist, but if it's thin, brittle, splits everywhere, and just plain damaged looking, then thats when I saybhair length has no meaning to me.

You know what works best for your hair more than your stylist. Sounds like you need to start some deep conditioning treatments on a continuous basis until you notice the change in your hair..don't give up! Just re-start your engine and don't pay attention to other folks hair, just your own. You inspired others, now inspire yourself!

:bighug:
 
DaughterOfZion1 said:
It's just such a frustrating feellllllllling!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We shouldn't start over though. Maybe a healthy chop will help kick start you.

I think I'm going to do that.
Click to expand...

I know how you feel. When I look on here and see women that have only been natural for a year or two and their hair is longer than mine but you just have to concentrate on your hair and not think about them.
 
I feel you. I went natural in 2002 and am about the same length as you. Set back after set back but all we can do is learn from the past and try to improve. I try not to beat myself up about it and just focus on healthier hair as opposed to length. The healthier hair practices hopefully will bring better length retention. You're not alone :yep:
 
Don't be so sad, OP. :(

I would be feeling pretty awesome on the inside to know that I inspired ppl around me to start taking better care of their hair, like you did. :)
 
I know it's not the same but I have an idea how you feel. Growing up my mum used to take care of my hair. It was natural and thick and long and everyone always oohed and aahed at it and I was known as 'the girl with the long hair'. Well, when I started caring for it myself everything went downhill and this is now my second BC and I am now an egg head, starting afresh with LHCF techniques. All I can say is don't look at everyone else - just do your own thing.
 
DaughterOfZion1 said:
It's just such a frustrating feellllllllling!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We shouldn't start over though. Maybe a healthy chop will help kick start you.

I think I'm going to do that.
Click to expand...

I agree what others have to say about not comparing ourselves to others (though its damn hard sometimes!).
 
Girl, definitely don't cut it...it'll take forever to grow back and you will never see progress! I'm a slow grower too.

Where is the slow grower's thread. We may need to adopt some of their practices.
 
It's so nice to hear that other people are going through this or have been through this!

When you look at other people on the forum it's like their hair grows so fiercely!
 
What I learned early on is not to compare your hair w/ anyone els, it will frustrate you to no end. Have you examine your reggie b/c tweeking your reggie a bit can yield wonderful results. Maybe you hair can't handle manipulation or certain products and it reacting in the way of "no growth" (breakage). Don't worry DaughterOfZion1, your hair will reach its full potential.
 
I feel you, it sometimes feels like my hair isn't growing. Been natural since '04 and I'm around APL. A friend of mine who's known me since I first went natural told me a couple weeks ago it seems like your hair is always the same length when I see you. :-/ My focus just has to be on doing hte best things for my hair.
 
DaughterOfZion1 said:
It's just such a frustrating feellllllllling!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We shouldn't start over though. Maybe a healthy chop will help kick start you.

I think I'm going to do that.
Click to expand...

I agree. I've started over with BC at least 3 times, then on this past Labor Day after much shedding I flatironed to see my progress and my long hair was sooooo thin (at least the ends), I wanted to cry and chop off about 7 inches, but I changed my mind bc I had done that so many times before...I'm pushing forward and see what happens. Another member posted a thread about lead hairs that inspired me, so I'm holding faith. And you guys should too with your particular situations.
 
I feel your pain. I feel like I've been cbl forever and will my bangs ever reach my chin? I swear I've Bern natural for atleast three years. Wtf?!? My hair doesn't grow slow either. So again Wtf?!?

Sent from my LG-LW690 using LG-LW690
 
((hugs)) We fall down...but we certainly gotta get back up! I mean what are we gonna do stop growing?? LOL! I'm in the same boat. After growing since 07 I had to chop due to massive post partum shedding.

It is what it is. Thank goodness for LHCF where we can come to vent & learn!
 
I can relate. I've been on my HHJ for over a year now - my length isn't stellar.

I haven't been able to retain length on much of my hair, but then again, I was on medication, had depression, other health problems, yadda yadda... but I'm getting things right again from the inside and it'll reflect on the outside soon enough hopefully.

I bought a lot of hair products during my HHJ and I kind of became a product junkie. At times I felt like I was wasting my money because I really wasn't getting any awesome progress. I felt like I didn't deserve to buy myself all of these things to aid in the health of my hair since i wasn't getting any great progress.

However, things are slightly looking up for me because I've done a lot of trial and error and I'm figuring out what works for me.

You need to get your head back into the game! Don't despair! Look at KimmayTube! She went natural 1999-ish, and only started making real progress in '04 or '05 (correct me if I'm wrong). So not all hope is lost!

Focus on the HEALTH of your hair and the length will come. Even if it takes time, it'll come.
 
OP, I've been here since 2003. Don't have WL hair; never have. Don't have MBL hair, never have. Don't know what length I have but it's probably APL it was last year, or a little past. I have not had the same success in growing my hair because of setbacks like you (a SHS cutting off over 5 inches of hair and taking me to the shortest length I ever had since coming to LHCF), heat crazy spell leading to damaged hair that had to be cut, and just plain ol' laziness and non-adherence to good practices that I know would help with retention.

But I do have hair. Not very long hair, but I'm not bald. And do you know why I'm so happy about it whatever its length, because I NEVER compare myself with anyone. I also don't keep checking how much hair I have. I just try to find ways to enjoy it, and I enjoy it.

It's amazing how creative you can be if you play with your hair and just focus on it alone. It is also amazing how fast your hair appears to grow if you just ignore it and quit watching the progress. I was a little under 3 inches in Feb 2007. I discovered to my surprise I was at APL in March 2010. That isn't fast growth...but hey, who cares? I don't. I am not in a race. I was actually SURPRISED that I had made it that far. It was a first for me. So remember simplicity is key. Doing too much sometimes means too much manipulation and hence trauma/breakage. Just find a low mani style or one that lets you forget about your hair for a while. That way dealing with it will be a treat. You'll look forward to washing/conditioning/styling...because that'll be a novelty: something you do once in a blue moon. And each time you'll be pleasantly surprised. I also recommend dusting. If I didn't dust, I'd still be at SL. For over 30 years I didn't dust and I stayed at SL. I started dusting and I broke that barrier. If you haven't seen my sermons on dusting, let me know and I'll find one for you.

One more thing, as we get older everything slows down, including hair growth rate. So that's another thing to consider and quit being in a race. Hair is supposed to be enjoyed at every length. Look at people who get sexy cuts, do they look unhappy to you? Do you now there's someone somewhere today wearing a 7.5 inches of hair that they asked for at a salon because they loved how it looked? Why are you dissing it? You could be bald!!! You have hair that can be creatively worn in styles that enhance your overall appearance. Please do not take it for granted. Stop worrying about being like someone else. Be the best you NOW! Until you have explored all you can do with 7.5 inches, you cannot allow yourself to be sad about it. I know someone who's always had 4 inches for as long as I've known her. I don't know why. We're miles apart now so I can't even help evaluate the problem. So consider yourself blessed. Count those blessings and you'll have more added.


:bighug:
 
Last edited:
awww, don't worry hun....Everyone's hair is different.
I can relate to feeling like I should be "ahead"....I started the hair board thing (Nappturality) in, maybe 2007?? I'm an old school natural now, lol.
But back then I really didn't know what I was doing. Didn't know what was best for my hair, and I retained nothing. nada.

But don't be discouraged-now that you know better, your hair will thrive and reach whatever length you desire!
 
Rocky91 said:
awww, don't worry hun....Everyone's hair is different.
I can relate to feeling like I should be "ahead"....I started the hair board thing (Nappturality) in, maybe 2007?? I'm an old school natural now, lol.
But back then I really didn't know what I was doing. Didn't know what was best for my hair, and I retained nothing. nada.

But don't be discouraged-now that you know better, your hair will thrive and reach whatever length you desire!
Click to expand...

Same here. On Nappturality in 2002-03 after being on a long hair forum (more like message board) in 2001 when I was still pressing weekly and not having a clue what to do with my hair. I've had a lot of self-imposed setbacks over the years. The good news is, I finally learned where I went wrong.
 
((HUGS)) all around!

Maybe you can put your hair away into a style where you don't have to think about it for at least 2-3 weeks. Be sure to moisturize daily and keep it moving.

If you try a style w/o extensions, try keeping your hair in a satin bonnet or sating skull cap while you're coolin' out at home. That'll keep your hands out of it and keep it from rubbing up against other fabrics.
 
DaughterOfZion1 said:
So I really have to get this off my chest because it is really bothering me.

I cut all my hair off Dec 06/Jan 07. It has been almost 5 years and I have 7.5 inches of hair to show for it. It's is so painfully shameful for me for alot of reasons.

I went natural before "the movement". When I first went natural I didnt know about taking care of hair or any of that. I finally learned in 07 and began my journey. I am a bit of a slow grower, but my hair was moving on. This past December I was almost at APL (almost apl in the back, collar bone in the front) when a hair dresser gave me a healthy cut (she said I needed it, i kind of agreed.) My hair has regressed ever since. I don't know what happened, but its just bleh now. I stopped taking care of it for a long time because I lost heart since it just seemed like it wasnt growing/I wasn't retaining. Fast forward to now and I have 7.5 inches of hair.

What hurts THE most is I have inspired SOOOOO many people to start taking care of their hair. All my friends are natural now (everyones natural now lol) and their hair is surpassing mine. Its shameful kind of. My best friend is WL now.

I just started taking care of my hair again. I was going to cut it all off in Jan and start over, but I'm just going to from here. No one knows how much its regressed. I've been protective styling etc, but it just hasn't done what I thought it would do.

SOOO I'm starting over again (no BC). I just had to get this off my chest because it's really saddening.
Click to expand...

Now, why would you start over? You already know what to do! Just take care of your hair. We all grow at different rates - my hair isn't the fatest growing either, but I'm learning all the time. BTW, maybe stress is impeding your growth.
Just stick to a simple regimen, keep your hands out of your hair and it will grow. Don't give up!
 
Nonie said:
OP, I've been here since 2003. Don't have WL hair; never have. Don't have MBL hair, never have. Don't know what length I have but it's probably APL it was last year, or a little past. I have not had the same success in growing my hair because of setbacks like you (a SHS cutting off over 5 inches of hair and taking me to the shortest length I ever had since coming to LHCF), heat crazy spell leading to damaged hair that had to be cut, and just plain ol' laziness and non-adherence to good practices that I know would help with retention.

But I do have hair. Not very long hair, but I'm not bald. And do you know why I'm so happy about it whatever its length, because I NEVER compare myself with anyone. I also don't keep checking how much hair I have. I just try to find ways to enjoy it, and I enjoy it.

It's amazing how creative you can be if you play with your hair and just focus on it alone. It is also amazing how fast your hair appears to grow if you just ignore it and quit watching the progress. I was a little under 3 inches in Feb 2007. I discovered to my surprise I was at APL in March 2010. That isn't fast growth...but hey, who cares? I don't. I am not in a race. I was actually SURPRISED that I had made it that far. It was a first for me. So remember simplicity is key. Doing too much sometimes means too much manipulation and hence trauma/breakage. Just find a low mani style or one that lets you forget about your hair for a while. That way dealing with it will be a treat. You'll look forward to washing/conditioning/styling...because that'll be a novelty: something you do once in a blue moon. And each time you'll be pleasantly surprised. I also recommend dusting. If I didn't dust, I'd still be at SL. For over 30 years I didn't dust and I stayed at SL. I started dusting and I broke that barrier. If you haven't seen my sermons on dusting, let me know and I'll find one for you.

One more thing, as we get older everything slows down, including hair growth rate. So that's another thing to consider and quit being in a race. Hair is supposed to be enjoyed at every length. Look at people who get sexy cuts, do they look unhappy to you? Do you now there's someone somewhere today wearing a 7.5 inches of hair that they asked for at a salon because they loved how it looked? Why are you dissing it? You could be bald!!! You have hair that can be creatively worn in styles that enhance your overall appearance. Please do not take it for granted. Stop worrying about being like someone else. Be the best you NOW! Until you have explored all you can do with 7.5 inches, you cannot allow yourself to be sad about it. I know someone who's always had 4 inches for as long as I've known her. I don't know why. We're miles apart now so I can't even help evaluate the problem. So consider yourself blessed. Count those blessings and you'll have more added.


:bighug:
Click to expand...

Preach! :clapping:
 
Co-signing kinda. The main thing for me was learning to deal with my own hair out (not always in some protective style or the other). I used to grow my hair out in braids/weaves/twists etc, but the minute I had my hair out it would start breaking and I wouldn't know what to do.

I finally stuck to a basic once a week wash and Dc regimen, relaxed since I found that easier to style and its been plain sailing since and I wear my hair out pretty much every day if I'm in a hurry I'd bun it.

All this is to say, there's a lot of information on the board and its good information, but you really need to pick and choose what works for "your" hair irrespective of what others are doing/saying, you don't need a complicated regimen to grow your hair.


HHG
 
I feel you DaughterOfZion1 like you are my sister.I went natural back in 05.I am no where near any fashionable length.I have taken care of my hair all through this time just about.I would ps with wigs,cornrow my hair under so it would be safe condition omg many times a week and nothing.I'm like you close to shaving my head and rocking a bald fade as it least I will be fierce..there so many things we learn here and hopefully something will work for us.
 
Yup me too. My hair was a lot longer back in high school when I went to my stylist every 2 weeks. I was lazy then and didnt do my hair at home and styled at night on perm rods daily in between visits.Hair was about BSL then. Went natural about 5 years ago and went on this 100% DIY phase which isnt getting me anywhere. I keep having to cut these split ends and ssk's which is driving me crazy. Just cut about 2 inches of (stylist said I really needed a little more..smh). Gonna start going to a stylist that specializes in hair care on a regular again and keep my hair straight more often to keeps the knots at bay. Hopefully I can get past this collarbone length hump.
 
Last edited:
yeah, that protective styling, %100 DIY stuff is for the birds for me. i am thankful for the growth that i obtained this year so far. God has really blessed me. i have had some setbacks, but i am learning that i just need to keep it simple with my hair. i am so thankful that i am comfortable with roller setting my own hair now. this way, i don't have to totally rely on someone. i will just stick to washing/dc and rolling once a week and i will be good.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

middlegirl
I have a confession to make...
Replies
14
Views
3K
Je Ne Sais Quoi
Je Ne Sais Quoi
Rae81
i have a confession....
2
Replies
46
Views
6K
Solitude
S
SignatureBeauty
Ladies! I Have A CONFESSION To Make......
Replies
20
Views
3K
SparklingFlame
SparklingFlame
janaq2003
I have a confession to make.
Replies
10
Views
2K
ceebee3
C
Miosy
Have u done a major cut to revive ur hair?
2
Replies
39
Views
4K
Jewell
J
Back
Top