I have a crush...

[BeautifulFlower]

Ok...

I have a crush on this guy. Its weird because its not my typical (physical) type - he's short. Im drawn to him for some reason. I think its his spirit. It exudes such godliness and purity. He treats all his female friends like sisters and boy does he treat them well. Its not a physical or sexual attraction. I know we share the same desire for living pure for God and rules of engagement in courtship. I almost feel like I wouldnt be pure enough for him...Am I being insecure?

I prayed about him last night. I said God, I am probably trippin so if he's not it, distract me. Today, my thoughts/feeling of him kicked into high gear.

What do you do when you have a crush?
(Godly way to manage your feelings)

 

[inthepink]

Oh wow, I don't know. I would think you'd need to continue to do what you started to do - pray for God to distract you if he isn't someone for you. Also, don't pay any special attention to him. I remember that from the book Lady in Waiting. Just keep treating him how you always do. Don't jump to do something b/c he's there; do it b/c you want to. Know what I mean?

You'll be fine - just keep praying. I am sure it has to be nice to meet/see a guy who has a heart for God and wants to be pure.

 

[Rapunzel*]

there is really nothing to do when u have a crush, its like one of those things you cant fight

just continue to pray and ask god for direction.
if he is your future husband god wont withhold him from you.i know you want God to answer back asap.......
he will send someone to you when he sees complete wholeness.

im a lady in waiting myself

 

[BeautifulFlower]

Oh wow, I don't know. I would think you'd need to continue to do what you started to do - pray for God to distract you if he isn't someone for you. Also, don't pay any special attention to him. I remember that from the book Lady in Waiting. Just keep treating him how you always do. Don't jump to do something b/c he's there; do it b/c you want to. Know what I mean?

You'll be fine - just keep praying. I am sure it has to be nice to meet/see a guy who has a heart for God and wants to be pure.

You're so right. Knowing me, I am going to sit on the other side of church during service now so I dont have to see him. My body language may be normal but my eyes tell my soul.

My church does a phenomenal job with developing godly men. I go to a large church with alot of single available men of all ages. Men between the ages of 19 - 27 I believe are the least likely to attend church and we have more the a little bit of them too.

there is really nothing to do when u have a crush, its like one of those things you cant fight

just continue to pray and ask god for direction.
if he is your future husband god wont withhold him from you.i know you want God to answer back asap.......
he will send someone to you when he sees complete wholeness.

im a lady in waiting myself

Thank you for those points. Eye opening...

 

[MizzCoco]

Girl, you better hold on to those feelings! Continue to treat him as a friend, and get to know him. And pray, pray, and pray some more! Thats all I can say!

 

[Janice]

Co-signing with Cococure, yeah crushes sure can be deadly...In the end if you are truly honest with yourself, ask yourself why you are truly attracted to him. It could be pure for all I know but just try to tame those feelings because you can end up making him out to be this quasi-God.

Perfection is the absence of knowledge and the reason why crushes can be so detrimental is because we build this image in our mind of what we expect this person to be when it has nothing to do with reality.

So just get to know him as a friend, nothing more and have no expectations. I know and trust that if this is the man God has for you he will put it in his heart.

You could just be wasting brain power on someone that may not be even worth it. It's hard but if you don't think you are going to get to know him then I would just squash it... (when I say get to know him, please do not approach him, only if circumstances allow such as you two happen to cross each other's path, etc but no walking 15ft over to meet him,, lol)


.....But above all pray, knowing that you can accept whether God tells you yes or no.

 

[inthepink]

My church does a phenomenal job with developing godly men. I go to a large church with alot of single available men of all ages. Men between the ages of 19 - 27 I believe are the least likely to attend church and we have more the a little bit of them too.

You are so blessed to have this!!

 

[MizzCoco]

You are so blessed to have this!!

Ain't she blessed? There are no single young men at my church, unless you count the teenage boys that come with Momma!

 

[BeautifulFlower]

Girl, you better hold on to those feelings! Continue to treat him as a friend, and get to know him. And pray, pray, and pray some more! Thats all I can say!

Feelings....gosh they suck. I am going to continue to pray, pray, pray.

Co-signing with Cococure, yeah crushes sure can be deadly...In the end if you are truly honest with yourself, ask yourself why you are truly attracted to him. It could be pure for all I know but just try to tame those feelings because you can end up making him out to be this quasi-God.

Perfection is the absence of knowledge and the reason why crushes can be so detrimental is because we build this image in our mind of what we expect this person to be when it has nothing to do with reality.

So just get to know him as a friend, nothing more and have no expectations. I know and trust that if this is the man God has for you he will put it in his heart.

You could just be wasting brain power on someone that may not be even worth it. It's hard but if you don't think you are going to get to know him then I would just squash it... (when I say get to know him, please do not approach him, only if circumstances allow such as you two happen to cross each other's path, etc but no walking 15ft over to meet him,, lol)


.....But above all pray, knowing that you can accept whether God tells you yes or no.

We have already been developing a friendship. Its good friends with my cousins and they introduced me to him. We rap to each other from time to time but nothing major. He's very concerned on teaching women as sisters and not potentials. I do have to check my motives but he's definitely "worth it".

 

[BeautifulFlower]

You are so blessed to have this!!

Ain't she blessed? There are no single young men at my church, unless you count the teenage boys that come with Momma!

I know some people are against big churches because most are posperity gospel teachers but if you can find a good and relatively large church in your area, I say just check it out. My pastor is also knows ministers all over the place so you want recommendations let me know.

 

[MizzCoco]

I know some people are against big churches because most are posperity gospel teachers but if you can find a good and relatively large church in your area, I say just check it out. My pastor is also knows ministers all over the place so you want recommendations let me know.

You know, I am seriously considering moving to the DMV area when I finish school next year. My aunt lives in DC, and Im so tired of my small town! All the larger churches around me are predominatly white, and the black churches are the bad stereotypical ones people make fun of. The church I go to now is somewhere in the middle, but filled with women and married couples!

 

[inthepink]

Feelings....gosh they suck. I am going to continue to pray, pray, pray.



We have already been developing a friendship. Its good friends with my cousins and they introduced me to him. We rap to each other from time to time but nothing major. He's very concerned on teaching women as sisters and not potentials. I do have to check my motives but he's definitely "worth it".

Sounds good. The best part is that you are aware!

 

[inthepink]

I know some people are against big churches because most are posperity gospel teachers but if you can find a good and relatively large church in your area, I say just check it out. My pastor is also knows ministers all over the place so you want recommendations let me know.

Very true.

I went to a VERY large church in my former state and they had the best music, best ministries, best of everything...and even EXPOSITORY PREACHING!!! I miss that church so badly.

Unfortunately, the large church in my area has no ministries and teaching is just so/so. Members are not fed at all and I had to leave.

 

[inthepink]

You know, I am seriously considering moving to the DMV area when I finish school next year. My aunt lives in DC, and Im so tired of my small town! All the larger churches around me are predominantly white, and the black churches are the bad stereotypical ones people make fun of. The church I go to now is somewhere in the middle, but filled with women and married couples!

Don't let that scare you. Give them a try. You never know, you might feel right at home.

 

[BeautifulFlower]

You know, I am seriously considering moving to the DMV area when I finish school next year. My aunt lives in DC, and Im so tired of my small town! All the larger churches around me are predominatly white, and the black churches are the bad stereotypical ones people make fun of. The church I go to now is somewhere in the middle, but filled with women and married couples!

I'd attend a white church and marry a white man in a second. I dont discriminate. Black men are my first love but white men are very much runner-ups.

White churches are cool though. If I lived in Seattle, I would attend Mark Driscoll's church. Predominately white, indie-punk rock type congregation but Mark Driscoll is the man...

 

[MizzCoco]

I dont think theres anything wrong with a white church at all (or a white man, either)I've dated a few! LOL but where I live its still pretty segregated, thats why I'm in such a hurry to leave!

 

[BeautifulFlower]

I dont think theres anything wrong with a white church at all (or a white man, either)I've dated a few! LOL but where I live its still pretty segregated, thats why I'm in such a hurry to leave!

Well we got plenty of room for you in the DMV and lots of great church. First Baptist Chruch of Glenarden is a great church developing disciplines for Jesus Christ. There's lots of people and ministry and fellowship but of course I am bias. We have great ministry for every age group and every lifestyle.

 

[MizzCoco]

Well we got plenty of room for you in the DMV and lots of great church. First Baptist Chruch of Glenarden is a great church developing disciplines for Jesus Christ. There's lots of people and ministry and fellowship but of course I am bias. We have great ministry for every age group and every lifestyle.

Sorry, didnt mean to jack your thread! My home town is stuck in a time-warp, so theres not much for me to choose from!! Your church sounds like a blessing!

...Okay back to our regularly scheduled topic

 

[royalty84]

Ain't she blessed? There are no single young men at my church, unless you count the teenage boys that come with Momma!

HA!!! Better tell 'em!!!

 

[BeautifulFlower]

Sorry, didnt mean to jack your thread! My home town is stuck in a time-warp, so theres not much for me to choose from!! Your church sounds like a blessing!

...Okay back to our regularly scheduled topic

No hijack...

 

[inthepink]

Hi Pretty,

I was just reading the book A Man Worth Waiting For by the same woman who wrote Lady in Waiting.

In it, she talks about a crush and how to deal with it in so many ways so I just wanted to share a few tokens with you:

*Make yourself accountable to a friend. (We are your friends here but we can't see you when you're at church interacting with him.)
*Devote yourself to prayer about it.
*Just because the guy is a Boaz doesn't mean he is your Boaz. Guard your heart against taking someone else's Boaz.

Obviously prayer will help you determine #3.

Please keep us posted.

 

[honeyflaava]

Hi Pretty,

I was just reading the book A Man Worth Waiting For by the same woman who wrote Lady in Waiting.

In it, she talks about a crush and how to deal with it in so many ways so I just wanted to share a few tokens with you:

*Make yourself accountable to a friend. (We are your friends here but we can't see you when you're at church interacting with him.)
*Devote yourself to prayer about it.
*Just because the guy is a Boaz doesn't mean he is your Boaz. Guard your heart against taking someone else's Boaz.

Obviously prayer will help you determine #3.

Please keep us posted.

Learned that one the hard way . And I had the audacity to get upset with God when the guy and another young lady began getting close. God challenged my anger towards Him and told me that I had no just cause to be angry with Him because He NEVER spoke to me regarding this particular guy.But rather I spoke to myself and told me that he was the one

 

[cutiebe2]

Thank you for this OP. I have been dealing with a serious crush for the past two years. When I first started having feelings I told my friends. The feeling became so intense that I became ashamed. I told everyone I didn't like him so that I wouldn't look like a looser and just continued to keep my feelings hidden inside. I don't even know what to do anymore. I continually asked God to show me the way put I get very conflicting signs. This boy is very sweet and nice. I don't think he would ever do me wrong but I do think that we probably aren't as compatable as I have made out in my mind.

I just want to be done with this!!

 

[jade998]

I am in the same situation. Here is my story.

I am in a church predominatly with women and couples, There are some single men, but it seemed like they like staying single and my eyes hadn't noticed any of them. But early this year after loads of people told me it was time to leave this church if I ever intended on getting married and find another church with eligible single men. I prayed and asked God that If this is the ministry/church he has brought me too, I have to believe that my husband could come to the church. I did want to get married and start a family. I didn't want to start scooping the streets and looking desperate,or even start contempalting goingto clubs but I wanted to be focused on his kingdom and the ministry that he has put inside of me.

2/3 weeks later, he walked into our church and even if I wanted to describe my ideal man, he would be so much better. We are now casual friends and I am taking it slow. If it is mine, then it is mine.

I would say remember it is about the glory of God and kingdom building. Know that he would be just as lucky to have you, so he will have to meet the standards that you already know to be seeking in your husband.

Marriage is ministry and it is always better to be in God's will and timing.

Pray about if he is the person, God will always give a confirmation.

Get involved in some kind of ministry to keep you mind busy at church (although it should be focused on God, but I know how it is to see him, and for your heart to skip a beat)

In the meanwhile, take the time to know him as a friend, his visions, goals, gifts, future plans, hobbies etc. That friendship will be a great foundation for any courtship that happens later

 

[BeautifulFlower]

Thanks everyone.

I am going to definitely stayed prayed up. He's sweet but he may be for someone else and I have to keep that in mind. My cousins are holding me accountable to this. I work full-time, in grad school, in a bible class, and in 3 ministries, so I'm plenty plenty busy.

Tonight, after Bible Study, he walked me to my car. A complete gentlemen. I was like Lord, ok, I'll just make small talk. So, now because of that, I have to stay on my knees about this...

 

[Supergirl]

Ok...

I have a crush on this guy. Its weird because its not my typical (physical) type - he's short. Im drawn to him for some reason. I think its his spirit. It exudes such godliness and purity. He treats all his female friends like sisters and boy does he treat them well. Its not a physical or sexual attraction. I know we share the same desire for living pure for God and rules of engagement in courtship. I almost feel like I wouldnt be pure enough for him...Am I being insecure?

I prayed about him last night. I said God, I am probably trippin so if he's not it, distract me. Today, my thoughts/feeling of him kicked into high gear.

What do you do when you have a crush?
(Godly way to manage your feelings)

Girl, if I wasn't looking at your username, I would say that I'd typed this about 10 years ago. (except my crush was/is tall). This is how it went down with my husband basically. He was not my "type" but I just suddenly became attracted to him in a major way.

The bolded ^^ describes my feelings at that time also. Anywhoo, weez married now! We've been married almost 4 fabulous years.

I like your prayer--asking God to distract you if you're not supposed to be into this guy. Pray about it as often as you feel the need. Try not to force or rush anything. If this is for you, there is nothing and no one that can stop it.

If there is a future for you two and it involves you guys being powerful individual witnesses and powerful witnesses for godly marriage, expect some challenges during the process leading to your answered prayer. The devil hates for Christians to fall in love and represent relationships and marriages God's way. But the challenges that the devil means for bad, God sho' nuff does use them for our good.

 

[inthepink]

Girl, if I wasn't looking at your username, I would say that I'd typed this about 10 years ago. (except my crush was/is tall). This is how it went down with my husband basically. He was not my "type" but I just suddenly became attracted to him in a major way.

The bolded ^^ describes my feelings at that time also. Anywhoo, weez married now! We've been married almost 4 fabulous years.

I like your prayer--asking God to distract you if you're not supposed to be into this guy. Pray about it as often as you feel the need. Try not to force or rush anything. If this is for you, there is nothing and no one that can stop it.

If there is a future for you two and it involves you guys being powerful individual witnesses and powerful witnesses for godly marriage, expect some challenges during the process leading to your answered prayer. The devil hates for Christians to fall in love and represent relationships and marriages God's way. But the challenges that the devil means for bad, God sho' nuff does use them for our good.

OT: I've been on this forum way too long. I remember you pre-marriage! Yikes. 4 years? Uh uh!

 

[BeautifulFlower]

Thank you thank you thank you for this post. Of course, this may not be my testimony, I'd being lying if I said I wish it would be. I am going to pray, pray, pray. I pray that God distracts me, and God allows him to walk me to my car tonight. Ironic, huh?

Girl, if I wasn't looking at your username, I would say that I'd typed this about 10 years ago. (except my crush was/is tall). This is how it went down with my husband basically. He was not my "type" but I just suddenly became attracted to him in a major way.

The bolded ^^ describes my feelings at that time also. Anywhoo, weez married now! We've been married almost 4 fabulous years.

I like your prayer--asking God to distract you if you're not supposed to be into this guy. Pray about it as often as you feel the need. Try not to force or rush anything. If this is for you, there is nothing and no one that can stop it.

If there is a future for you two and it involves you guys being powerful individual witnesses and powerful witnesses for godly marriage, expect some challenges during the process leading to your answered prayer. The devil hates for Christians to fall in love and represent relationships and marriages God's way. But the challenges that the devil means for bad, God sho' nuff does use them for our good.

 

[Supergirl]

@ Hairlove--hee hee! Yep, we've been around for a while!

 

[Supergirl]

Thank you thank you thank you for this post. Of course, this may not be my testimony, I'd being lying if I said I wish it would be. I am going to pray, pray, pray. I pray that God distracts me, and God allows him to walk me to my car tonight. Ironic, huh?

Keep us updated. You are doing a great job of guarding your heart it sounds like. There are some resources I wish I'd known about back then like LHCF (well it didn't exist) and some of the books we discuss here that are written for future wives/single women. But you're doing good.

When you're feeling those feelings and you're struggling and you want to see a sign and all that that can come with this, holler at us! We're here to support you.