i hate when ppl say that... its so upsetting

[krissynick]

im tired of ppl thinking that those who relax have some sort of problem... geeze white ppl with curly hair straigten their hair all the time and no ones says nothing to them... but when black folks do it we trying to be white or something.... for right now straightening my hair makes my life so much easier .. if later on i decide not to relax my hair thats my right to do so later but geeze ... the only reason i think that most black women relax is not really due to self hatred about their hair.. its really takes much more patience and effort to up keep the hair... and certain styles we like requires us to straighten plain and simple.. should we give that up ... just cause of dumb folks comments about how we hate our hair... the truth is...some naturals complain and say that us relax ones dont even really do anything with our hair.. we just wear it straight .. but the truth is my friend who was natuall... all she ever wore was two hair styles... a ponytail or she twisted her hair and left it like that for like two weeks until she washed it again.. so to me thats not much styling options either...

 

[DarkAngell]

Are you deciding not to transition after all?
(Refering to your 'transitioner support thread' post)

 

[krissynick]

nah not now.. thats a big step and ihave to get all the info i need first.... but i do plan on stretching and that will require workign with my natural texture a bit so thats why i asked those questions...

 

[foxieroxienyc]

Girl you have to do what works for you at the end of the day. Me personally, I've been there done that... I've done it ALL.... Natural, to pressed hair, to relaxed hair, to BC, to natural fro, to Locks for 3 years, then back to fro, then weave, now relaxed again... For me being relaxed works better, and I love straight hair. My hair IS A LOT to handle natural, maybe one day I'll have the time and effort, but for right now....

 

[ladylibra]

personally, i think most black women relax because they don't really believe they have any other option. they've been taught to straighten their hair since they were toddlers. erplexed it can be an underlying issue of self-hatred and wanting to be like other races with non-nappy hair.

but i don't dare assume all women who relax have issues... i mean what sense would that make... i used to relax my hair and i've never wanted to be white! i mean for me, my natural hair is easier to maintain than my relaxed hair was. my sister and my son however, have a lot more shrinkage in their 4a/4b hair type. my sis chooses to texlax and quite frankly, if she's happy with it i'm happy for her. all i care about is that she keep her hair healthy. and boy, doing my son's hair does take time and effort... that's why i'm glad he's a boy and i can keep it short. man if i ever have a girl i'll probably have to chop my hair cuz caring for 2 heads is TOO MUCH for me!

 

[krissynick]

personally, i think most black women relax because they don't really believe they have any other option. they've been taught to straighten their hair since they were toddlers. erplexed it can be an underlying issue of self-hatred and wanting to be like other races with non-nappy hair.

but i don't dare assume all women who relax have issues... i mean what sense would that make... i used to relax my hair and i've never wanted to be white! i mean for me, my natural hair is easier to maintain than my relaxed hair was. my sister and my son however, have a lot more shrinkage in their 4a/4b hair type. my sis chooses to texlax and quite frankly, if she's happy with it i'm happy for her. all i care about is that she keep her hair healthy. and boy, doing my son's hair does take time and effort... that's why i'm glad he's a boy and i can keep it short. man if i ever have a girl i'll probably have to chop my hair cuz caring for 2 heads is TOO MUCH for me!

you right but i think for most folks it more about ease...of hair styling.. like if some women did not have to struggle with their natural hair as they do now they would probably keep it like so... i mean the whole moisture thing is really something u have to do on a consistent basis to make sure you keep your hair from getting dry and breaking. me personally i think i will be able to handle it but thats only because of what i learned on this site... but some ppl still dont have that knowledge.

 

[Traycee]

Many people have different opinions......The black people that hate when black women relax their hair are usually very militant people...To be honest I'll never be black enough for them....I grew up in a mostly white community and when I got to about Junior High more blacks and other races started moving to the area ...Thats about the time I found out I wasn't black enough for some people.....I asked my father hurt and confused and he said " Black is not a hairstyle , clothes , or the way you talk....Your black because you were born black....You be you and people will like you, and if they don't thats there lost".....

So I love straight sleek looking hair.....I love our natural hair.....So I do what I want when I feel like it.....I'm doing ME!!!

 

[krissynick]

Many people have different opinions......The black people that hate when black women relax their hair are usually very militant people...To be honest I'll never be black enough for them....I grew up in a mostly white community and when I got to about Junior High more blacks and other races started moving to the area ...Thats about the time I found out I wasn't black enough for some people.....I asked my father hurt and confused and he said " Black is not a hairstyle , clothes , or the way you talk....Your black because you were born black....You be you and people will like you, and if they don't thats there lost".....

So I love straight sleek looking hair.....I love our natural hair.....So I do what I want when I feel like it.....I'm doing ME!!!

hmm true but u think those who are so militant about perms... or should i say relaxers are holding some grudges against whites due to past problems such as slavery and in there eyes maybe they see us straigthning our hair is trying to emulate ppl that they hate... just a thought i dont know how true it is but.. i only hear those stupid comments about u trying to be whtie from black folks.. .never heard a white person say that.

 

[TrustMeLove]

I use to relax because that's the only thing I KNEW TO DO. Not having a relaxer NEVER EVER crossed my mind. Relaxing seemed to be what black people did. Even if you didnt' relaxed you pressed your hair STRAIGHT. I knew NOT ONE person with nappy hair. (I am the only person with nappy hair alot of people know.)

Not until I got on the boards and saw women with long hair going natural. Than I saw the pictures of natural women. I was like WOW. These are regular folks. Not folks from the islands or Africa but just regular people. And they are gorgeous. I liked what some of them were saying about how relaxing and straightening our hair intertwined with the deconstruction of the Afro-mentality etc...And I started to research the craziness of the chemicals in relaxers and our daily hair products..I'm a sciene/health person..I decided to let it go.

Now, I am nappy. If I want to straighten my hair..I will do it via the heat. I've never done it though.

I don't care if other people straighten their hair or relax. I dont' care when nappys go back to relaxers..I just don't care. See ya when I see ya. More people to gush over my naps. HAHAHAAHA! I ain't right. I aint right. But, that's how I feel. I know I need help.

It's not that serious. Only time I pay attention is when a nappy is having a hard time and doesn't want to relax but the hair is becoming over wheliming. I feel for them, beacuse we all go through bad beauty moments, with hair, skin, makeup etc.. Ya know.

Whew! I've bene wanting to say that I don't care stuff for a long time.

 

[FlawedBeauty]

what brought this up? did someone say something to you?

im tired of ppl thinking that those who relax have some sort of problem... geeze white ppl with curly hair straigten their hair all the time and no ones says nothing to them... but when black folks do it we trying to be white or something.... for right now straightening my hair makes my life so much easier .. if later on i decide not to relax my hair thats my right to do so later but geeze ... the only reason i think that most black women relax is not really due to self hatred about their hair.. its really takes much more patience and effort to up keep the hair... and certain styles we like requires us to straighten plain and simple.. should we give that up ... just cause of dumb folks comments about how we hate our hair... the truth is...some naturals complain and say that us relax ones dont even really do anything with our hair.. we just wear it straight .. but the truth is my friend who was natuall... all she ever wore was two hair styles... a ponytail or she twisted her hair and left it like that for like two weeks until she washed it again.. so to me thats not much styling options either...

 

[SilkyandSmooth]

Well, you just need to ignore those people. You know why you relax and that's all that really matters. I know why I texlax and could care less what other people think of my decision. It's my hair.

 

[krissynick]

Well, you just need to ignore those people. You know why you relax and that's all that really matters. I know why I texlax and could care less what other people think of my decision. It's my hair.

ur right.. i just hate the fact that oh im no longer a true black cause i straighten my hair.. lol its nonsense but yea i gotta ignore...

 

[krissynick]

what brought this up? did someone say something to you?

dont worry.. would you care to respond to the question

 

[krissynick]

I use to relax because that's the only thing I KNEW TO DO. Not having a relaxer NEVER EVER crossed my mind. Relaxing seemed to be what black people did. Even if you didnt' relaxed you pressed your hair STRAIGHT. I knew NOT ONE person with nappy hair. (I am the only person with nappy hair alot of people know.)

Not until I got on the boards and saw women with long hair going natural. Than I saw the pictures of natural women. I was like WOW. These are regular folks. Not folks from the islands or Africa but just regular people. And they are gorgeous. I liked what some of them were saying about how relaxing and straightening our hair intertwined with the deconstruction of the Afro-mentality etc...And I started to research the craziness of the chemicals in relaxers and our daily hair products..I'm a sciene/health person..I decided to let it go.

Now, I am nappy. If I want to straighten my hair..I will do it via the heat. I've never done it though.

I don't care if other people straighten their hair or relax. I dont' care when nappys go back to relaxers..I just don't care. See ya when I see ya. More people to gush over my naps. HAHAHAAHA! I ain't right. I aint right. But, that's how I feel. I know I need help.

It's not that serious. Only time I pay attention is when a nappy is having a hard time and doesn't want to relax but the hair is becoming over wheliming. I feel for them, beacuse we all go through bad beauty moments, with hair, skin, makeup etc.. Ya know.

Whew! I've bene wanting to say that I don't care stuff for a long time.

ok im glad you got that out lol

 

[Amber_moon]

Hun I sent you a PM.

 

[ChocolateSoda]

Well I can tell you that I am VERY TENERDHEADED!! I don't care what others do or why, I know I like to be able to comb my hair without pain. I like my kiddie perms & the slightly wavy texture I get. It's cute and it works for me.

Don't worry about what others say or do or think. Do your own thang and I know you'll rock whatever style you choose!

 

[MissMeWithThatIsh]

WTF at the one star bandit.... already...

 

[Halimah]

YOU DO WHAT PLEASES YOU !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am a relax girl and I relax my hair b/c thats what I want to do I also wear styles that require a relaxer when I first relaxed my hair I didnt do it b/c I wanted to look white I did b/c I wanted to be able to manage my hair and plus I was always afraid oh the hot comb but truthfully whats the diff. from a black girl natural who straigtens their hair to look straight then a black relaxed girl who just relaxes to get their hair straight nothing b/c both of them at the end of the day did something to get that look whether it was by a hot comb or by getting a perm LMAO

 

[krissynick]

thanks to all yall who posted... imma do what i want with my hair regardless lol.. just letting outmy frustrations.. i just hate the comments sometimes... but yea we all gotta do us.. i like what tracyee said her father told her... black is not defined by your hair, what clothes you wear etc.. you are black because you are born black so its like we can do whatever we want... it will never change who we are ....

 

[Traycee]

hmm true but u think those who are so militant about perms... or should i say relaxers are holding some grudges against whites due to past problems such as slavery and in there eyes maybe they see us straigthning our hair is trying to emulate ppl that they hate... just a thought i dont know how true it is but.. i only hear those stupid comments about u trying to be whtie from black folks.. .never heard a white person say that.

True....at above

 

[anon123]

It can be upsetting, I understand that. But I don't quite understand your post. You say that natural hair requires a lot of maintenance. But then you said your friend just wears a puff or twists her hair and leaves it like that for 2 weeks. So you have an example of how natural hair doesn't have to mean a lot of maintenance. It depends a lot on what you want to do with it.

I think the reasons black women straighten their hair are many, and they aren't the same for each person. Mostly it's because it's what we know. I straightened my hair until I saw a nappy haired person wearin twists and puffs and she told me I could do it and once I saw that it was an option, that was it for me. So it seems strange to say I was straightening my hair because I hated being black because you would have expected so much more resistance to wearing it nappy if that were the case. Basically, as soon as I saw someone else doing it, I did it.

However, as a whole (not on an individual basis), I do think that a lot of hair straightening is done because we were taught that our natural hair is ugly. There are just too many women who straighten their hair for me to believe otherwise. And also, I've heard too many out and out comments that involve people saying the word "nappy" with disgust in their voice to not know that fact. But like I said, that's looking at it as a whole global phenomenon. I still recognize that there is complexity and diversity across people.

 

[krissynick]

It can be upsetting, I understand that. But I don't quite understand your post. You say that natural hair requires a lot of maintenance. But then you said your friend just wears a puff or twists her hair and leaves it like that for 2 weeks. So you have an example of how natural hair doesn't have to mean a lot of maintenance. It depends a lot on what you want to do with it.

I think the reasons black women straighten their hair are many, and they aren't the same for each person. Mostly it's because it's what we know. I straightened my hair until I saw a nappy haired person wearin twists and puffs and she told me I could do it and once I saw that it was an option, that was it for me. So it seems strange to say I was straightening my hair because I hated being black because you would have expected so much more resistance to wearing it nappy if that were the case. Basically, as soon as I saw someone else doing it, I did it.

However, as a whole (not on an individual basis), I do think that a lot of hair straightening is done because we were taught that our natural hair is ugly. There are just too many women who straighten their hair for me to believe otherwise. And also, I've heard too many out and out comments that involve people saying the word "nappy" with disgust in their voice to not know that fact. But like I said, that's looking at it as a whole global phenomenon. I still recognize that there is complexity and diversity across people.

It can be upsetting, I understand that. But I don't quite understand your post. You say that natural hair requires a lot of maintenance. But then you said your friend just wears a puff or twists her hair and leaves it like that for 2 weeks. So you have an example of how natural hair doesn't have to mean a lot of maintenance. It depends a lot on what you want to do with it.


as far wat i said about this .. i was just tyring to make a point that naturals always say oh i dont know why relaxed heads say they can do more styles with straight hair cause they only wear it in like a roller set and blow style..a nd i was making the point with my friend saying she only wears her hair in one or two styles too.. so i was saying all that to say .. that they were tryign to make a point about relaxed heads when they do the same thign sometimes.. they stick to one or two styles that workl... i wasnt referring to anything else..

 

[krissynick]

But I don't quite understand your post. You say that natural hair requires a lot of maintenance.


well this is just my opinion... and my friend kept her hair in the same two styles so she didnt have fuss with her hair.. cause she said it was hard to do and she only did it like once a month... just wanted to clear that up..

 

[FlawedBeauty]

okay, i won't worry. i can see by your response to mwdezi you're getting the desired result of your original post...yet again...

dont worry.. would you care to respond to the question

 

[krissynick]

okay, i won't worry. i can see by your response to mwdezi you're getting the desired result of your original post...yet again...

i knew that what you were all about ( starting more troulbe like last time) and thats exactly why i answered the way i did.. grow up.. and dont post on my thread if u dont have any productive to say....

 

[Saida]

My goodness, can't people just do what ever the heck they want to, without being analyzed from tip to toe.. hmm you shouldnt get offended by comments like that, people who are to busy worried about what others do usually have some issues themselves.. they wont pay for you hair too look good and feel good to you, so dont worry about it, just mind your own..

I dont care if your relaxed, natural, dang it I dont care if your bald.. whatever YOU wanna do do it

 

[krissynick]

My goodness, can't people just do what ever the heck they want to, without being analyzed from tip to toe.. hmm you shouldnt get offended by comments like that, people who are to busy worried about what others do usually have some issues themselves.. they wont pay for you hair too look good and feel good to you, so dont worry about it, just mind your own..

I dont care if your relaxed, natural, dang it I dont care if your bald.. whatever YOU wanna do do it

will do.. thanks...

 

[FlawedBeauty]

my bad...next time i won't try and find out who exactly said what to you that may have gotten ur panties in a bundle. knowing who said something and why the said it is usually a good way of formulating a response to a question. maybe it was someone that had a bad expierence with relaxer and now hates them, who knows...maybe no one said anything to you at all.

honestly you think I am the one that starts trouble in here...thats laughable. i have been on this board for the longest and have yet to have one of my threads locked up. i do like how you tried to show out in this thread post tellin me to grow up, but sent me that weak *** PM asking me if i didn't like you for some reason...seems as if ur the one that needs to grow up dear. and i bet more people would tell you how they really felt if they didn't fear getting banned from the board.

i knew that what you were all about ( starting more troulbe like last time) and thats exactly why i answered the way i did.. grow up.. and dont post on my thread if u dont have any productive to say....

 

[krissynick]

my bad...next time i won't try and find out who exactly said what to you that may have gotten ur panties in a bundle. knowing who said something and why the said it is usually a good way of formulating a response to a question. maybe it was someone that had a bad expierence with relaxer and now hates them, who knows...maybe no one said anything to you at all.

honestly you think I am the one that starts trouble in here...thats laughable. i have been on this board for the longest and have yet to have one of my threads locked up. i do like how you tried to show out in this thread post tellin me to grow up, but sent me that weak *** PM asking me if i didn't like you for some reason...seems as if ur the one that needs to grow up dear. and i bet more people would tell you how they really felt if they didn't fear getting banned from the board.

okay well i sent a pm asking did i ever say anything that offended you? NOt why u dont like me? Lets tell the truth hear... come one flawed beauty.. be honest.. you know i did not say that... anyway i alreayd pmed you to clear this up.. i dont want drama... like i said before the only reason i responded nasty is cause you always have soemting bad to say about me without reason.. but i hope we can jsut settle this hear cause im not really here for this.. okay... im trying to be mature... and just dead it

also just to clear one thing up i requested those threads to get closed... im saying this to everyone cause i dont want ppl jumping on the bandwagon based on one person response...

but lets please leave it like that...thanks yall for all your great responses

 

[FlawedBeauty]

same difference, you didn't have to pm me to ask me that. you could have just simply stated what angered you. you opted to be rude so you get what you give.

now please stop sending me PM's, as you've sent me 4 in a matter of minutes. this will be my last post to you so you're more than welcome to the last word, i couldn't care less.

okay well i sent a pm asking did i ever say anything that offended you? NOt why u dont like me? Lets tell the truth hear... come one flawed beauty.. be honest.. you know i did not say that... anyway i alreayd pmed you to clear this up.. i dont want drama... like i said before the only reason i responded nasty is cause you always have soemting bad to say about me without reason.. but i hope we can jsut settle this hear cause im not really here for this.. okay... im trying to be mature... and just dead it

also just to clear one thing up i requested those threads to get closed... im saying this to everyone cause i dont want ppl jumping on the bandwagon based on one person response...

but lets please leave it like that...thanks yall for all your great responses