i hate when ppl say that... its so upsetting

[AfroKink]

Not until I got on the boards and saw women with long hair going natural. Than I saw the pictures of natural women. I was like WOW. These are regular folks. Not folks from the islands or Africa but just regular people. And they are gorgeous. I liked what some of them were saying about how relaxing and straightening our hair intertwined with the deconstruction of the Afro-mentality etc...And I started to research the craziness of the chemicals in relaxers and our daily hair products..I'm a sciene/health person..I decided to let it go.

You aren't trying to say that Caribbeans and Africans are NOT regular people right? You meant to say "Not folks from the islands or African but just American people", right?

Lys

 

[krissynick]

oh goodnesss.. carry on.

 

[indefinite]

my bad...next time i won't try and find out who exactly said what to you that may have gotten ur panties in a bundle. knowing who said something and why the said it is usually a good way of formulating a response to a question. maybe it was someone that had a bad expierence with relaxer and now hates them, who knows...maybe no one said anything to you at all.

honestly you think I am the one that starts trouble in here...thats laughable. i have been on this board for the longest and have yet to have one of my threads locked up. i do like how you tried to show out in this thread post tellin me to grow up, but sent me that weak *** PM asking me if i didn't like you for some reason...seems as if ur the one that needs to grow up dear. and i bet more people would tell you how they really felt if they didn't fear getting banned from the board.

*wishing there is a thanks button*
Also, the writing style of the OP, suggests either a young poster, or one that lacks knowledge of basic sentence, grammar, punctuation structure.

 

[AfroKink]

It can be upsetting, I understand that. But I don't quite understand your post. You say that natural hair requires a lot of maintenance. But then you said your friend just wears a puff or twists her hair and leaves it like that for 2 weeks. So you have an example of how natural hair doesn't have to mean a lot of maintenance. It depends a lot on what you want to do with it.

I think the reasons black women straighten their hair are many, and they aren't the same for each person. Mostly it's because it's what we know. I straightened my hair until I saw a nappy haired person wearin twists and puffs and she told me I could do it and once I saw that it was an option, that was it for me. So it seems strange to say I was straightening my hair because I hated being black because you would have expected so much more resistance to wearing it nappy if that were the case. Basically, as soon as I saw someone else doing it, I did it.

However, as a whole (not on an individual basis), I do think that a lot of hair straightening is done because we were taught that our natural hair is ugly. There are just too many women who straighten their hair for me to believe otherwise. And also, I've heard too many out and out comments that involve people saying the word "nappy" with disgust in their voice to not know that fact. But like I said, that's looking at it as a whole global phenomenon. I still recognize that there is complexity and diversity across people.

I agree with what she said. Relaxing your hair is a choice. The fact that the vast majority of black women in America have the same choice, sometimes to their detriment, is worth of analysis. There is nothing wrong with asking why people do the things they do. I do think people are quick to throw around "self-hate" though.

Lys

 

[Transformer]

This thread is hilarious to me. I'm sure it's an AGE Thing. I will be 50 next birthday but growing up, you were considered "COUNTRY", not cosmopolitan if you didn't relax. I would hear so many times...."Girl, you are not going to get anywhere in life....if you don't RELAX your hair." Girls would actually point and giggle about other girls who "needed a relaxer."

This is my perspective.....having natural hair at one time had so much negativity.. the popular girls were "light-skined (red bones) and had "good hair" by means of a relaxer or natural. We've come a long way baby, and Black women are not only redefining what is considered beautiful, but has gained a lot of self-confidence with their natural appearance...curvy physical attributes, full lips, and kinky hair.

I don't think I was ever a catty type person, so when I "suggest" that there are options other than a relaxer, it's because what that person is doing is not working for them by their own admission and I suggest they get to know their "real" texture.

I'm not going to say that I'm always so highbrow, because I think applying a relaxer to anyone under the age of 15 is downright criminal. Plus, I hear so many women saying that they want Hawaiian or Indian silky STRAIGHT hair. Hell, have these people actually taken a look at many of the "non-negroid" races and seen that NOT EVERYONE has STRAIGHT, STRAIGHT HAIR. I would love for these guys to visit Israel and take a look.

I lived in Japan for years, and I was a CELEBRITY because I had kinky-curly hair....something they wanted! This is definitely an age POV thing!

 

[krissynick]

This thread is hilarious to me. I'm sure it's an AGE Thing. I will be 50 next birthday but growing up, you were considered "COUNTRY", not cosmopolitan if you didn't relax. I would hear so many times...."Girl, you are not going to get anywhere in life....if you don't RELAX your hair." Girls would actually point and giggle about other girls who "needed a relaxer."

This is my perspective.....having natural hair at one time had so much negativity.. the popular girls were "light-skined (red bones) and had "good hair" by means of a relaxer or natural. We've come a long way baby, and Black women are not only redefining what is considered beautiful, but has gained a lot of self-confidence with their natural appearance...curvy physical attributes, full lips, and kinky hair.

I don't think I was ever a catty type person, so when I "suggest" that there are options other than a relaxer, it's because what that person is doing is not working for them by their own admission and I suggest they get to know their "real" texture.

I'm not going to say that I'm always so highbrow, because I think applying a relaxer to anyone under the age of 15 is downright criminal. Plus, I hear so many women saying that they want Hawaiian or Indian silky STRAIGHT hair. Hell, have these people actually taken a look at many of the "non-negroid" races and seen that NOT EVERYONE has STRAIGHT, STRAIGHT HAIR. I would love for these guys to visit Israel and take a look.

I lived in Japan for years, and I was a CELEBRITY because I had kinky-curly hair....something they wanted! This is definitely an age POV thing!

can u please elaborate.. i just got a little lost.. your saying its an age thing like.. the times we are in now...

 

[krissynick]

I agree with what she said. Relaxing your hair is a choice. The fact that the vast majority of black women in America have the same choice, sometimes to their detriment, is worth of analysis. There is nothing wrong with asking why people do the things they do. I do think people are quick to throw around "self-hate" though.

Lys

good point..

 

[gabulldawg]

okay well i sent a pm asking did i ever say anything that offended you? NOt why u dont like me? Lets tell the truth hear... come one flawed beauty.. be honest.. you know i did not say that... anyway i alreayd pmed you to clear this up.. i dont want drama... like i said before the only reason i responded nasty is cause you always have soemting bad to say about me without reason.. but i hope we can jsut settle this hear cause im not really here for this.. okay... im trying to be mature... and just dead it

also just to clear one thing up i requested those threads to get closed... im saying this to everyone cause i dont want ppl jumping on the bandwagon based on one person response...

but lets please leave it like that...thanks yall for all your great responses

That actually seems to be happening a lot around here lately... People just find reasons not to like someone.

Anyway, to answer your OP, I definitely agree with you. But like others have said, only you know your true reasons for relaxing. Many will try to say that they know why you do it (wanting to be white, hating your natural hair texture, etc.), but only you know your true reason. That may require you to do some soul searching, but it would be worth it. I have done that and know that relaxed hair is best for me. No one out there is going to tell me what I can or cannot handle, or how I should or shouldn't wear my hair. Don't get discouraged. If you feel as if you are being bullied into transitioning (which can happen a lot on this board), take a step back and decide for yourself. It sounds like you already did that, so good job to you!

 

[Allandra]

Closing this thread.