I had my first major setback. Rethinking transitioning.

[DDTexlaxed]

I am seriously thinking about staying relaxed. I am scared that I'm going to keep on BCing and relax. I seriously love the natural look and I am learning how to do natural styles, but I am in limbo. If I BC and relax, then I lose my length. If I transition, it would take me at least a year to get hair long enough to pony tail. I just don't know what I want to do anymore. I need some advice, please.

 

[TCatt86]

What was your setback?

 

[TCatt86]

Oh and just so you know when I did my last transition I had my hair cut into a bob, I think the key is to find styles where you can leave your hair alone. I'm an advocate of flexi rod sets, they can last for about a week and a half and they are cute. Also remember to do protein treatments, as a natural I hardly have to do them, but since you have a line of demarcation it's important to make sure your relaxed hair and they transition btw the two textures is strong, deep condition as often as possible and find a good daily mosturizer, have you thought about getting kinky/senegalese twist or wearing wigs? That's also an option.

 

[Neith]

Do you ultimately want natural or relaxed hair?

That's the only question that matters.

Don't be afraid to pursue the style you want because of setbacks or length.

Setbacks can happen to anyone at any time... relaxed, natural or whatever you are.

And length will come with time regardless if you are taking good care of it.

There will be hard times, but you don't just give up. Work hard and see it through.

Is my hair the length I want or does it look like I want at this moment? NOPE! but I am 100% determined to pamper, nourish and grow my hair out. And I'm not giving up. I just need to be patient.

Why not try extensions, wigs or weave if it bothers you to have to deal with your hair? It will give yo a much needed break and time to think.

 

[DDTexlaxed]

My problem was with styling. I can't use extensions because my scalp hates it. I am just a little discouraged because I looked a HAM. I think I am going to have to use heat with my styling because I can't get a decent looking roller set. I feel better now that I've went out with my friends. My friend has natural hair and she encouraged me a lot. I am so happy because it helped me to continue with this transition. I just have to tweak a new hair regimen that will allow me to use heat in moderation. I hope it doesn't ruin my new growth. Thank you for the suggestions, ladies.

 

[LovinLea]

if you want to be natural, don't worry about the time it'll take because whatever you do now, a year will pass. in that time, you could already have a year of transitioning behind you.

(hoping that made sense)

i don't even try to style my hair because i'm not good with the two textures and because i'm afraid of heat damage. see siggy.

 

[DDTexlaxed]

Can you please give me advice on a half wig and how to wear it? I am a newbie when it comes to that. In the meantime, I'll be researching roller setting again. If I can just get to the point where I can get my hair to stay flat twisted I'll be OK. I need more new growth for that. My hubby begged me to not shave my head because I've done so in the past.

 

[LovinLea]

Can you please give me advice on a half wig and how to wear it? I am a newbie when it comes to that. In the meantime, I'll be researching roller setting again. If I can just get to the point where I can get my hair to stay flat twisted I'll be OK. I need more new growth for that. My hubby begged me to not shave my head because I've done so in the past.

there's a few ways that i know of to wear them.

1. Blend your hair in to match the half wig. You take about 1/2 to a full inch from your hairline and style it to match the wig, like do a twist out on that front section if the HW is wavy, straighten the front section if the HW is straight, or rollerset that small section if it's curly.

2. Pull your own hair straight back, put on the HW, and then cover with a headband. That's what I did for my siggy, took all of 3 minutes. Since that first inch of my hair is natural, I just do the scarf method to flatten it.

3. I've never done because I'm so low-maintainence, but you can also cornrow or flat twist the front, and then put on the half wig.

I love it. A simple, quick, inexpensive hairstyle.

 

[jerseygurl]

My only advice to you would be to be sure what you want. If you want to be natural then continue with your transition, watch youtube videos for various styles to tide you over till you BC. IF you want to stay relaxed then be sure of that.

I've noticed that many ladies transition because they see others do so and think it is easy. I believe that you have to be mentally prepared for it or else you will find yourself relaxing before you know it.

I wish you luck in whatever you decide to do but be sure that it is what you want

 

[SignatureBeauty]

Hey DDT! You know I understand what you mean, I texlaxed and I really love it, I guess I am just not ready to be Natural and I cannot shave my head anymore either, Hubby will be mad and so will I, You and I both know the cycle that we go thru, after all these years of shaving and big chopping, relaxing, texlaxing etc. we would have had down our backs by now.

But I finally decided to do what is right for me and my hair and being texlaxed is for me, maybe one day I will go natural again forever but right now No. I don't have the time or money to spend on trying to find the right product for moisture, shea butter don't work, castor oil, oils etc. I have been thru that and it is time to move on, for the past 6 years You and I have had short hair because we can't make up our minds, we see one person with beautiful Natural hair that talks about the freedom and ease of care and how it saves her money, then we see beautiful Texlax or Relaxed hair that tells of how to stop breakage, shedding etc.

It can become overwhelming to some, I just say do what you really want to do with your hair! Sorry So Long

 

[DDTexlaxed]

I am still having doubts, so I'll stay relaxed a little longer. Transitioning did teach me how to stretch my relaxers better.

 

[DeepBluSea]

Make a pro and con list for relaxed and natural. Whatever you choose, make yourself stick to it. I feel that you don't stay relaxed or natural long enough to get to know your hair. You may get frustrated with relaxed hair because you can't get it styled right. BC. Then relax again because you can't get the natural styles right. How many times have you gone back and forth? If your hair is that frustrating have you considered letting the DIY go for now and find a good stylist. Surely, NY has a better selection to chose from. Maybe some NY members can give some personal suggestions. Hair should not be so frustrating.

 

[DDTexlaxed]

That's the thing. I keep going back and forth and I haven't gotten to know my hair like I should. Holding off this transition for now will help me make up my mind. I prayed about it and came to this decision. Thank you guys for trying to help me. Sorry if this seem like a never ending story.