TRANSITIONING SUX!!!! And I am about to cry!!!!!! So y'all better come in here

[audacity.]

How do you do that and how much does it help?? I wanna get on board!!!

basically i very generously put cholesterol on my dry hair and then coconut oil on top, put on a plastic cap and rinse in the morning. it works well with heat, too. make is like butta. it helps a lot.

 

[Endlesslegs]

I feel your pain...honestly. I remember obsessing over my hair while transitioning and tears welling up in my eyes each time i saw the breakage. I just had to cut. It was one of the hardest things I ever did and I chopped right at the front so i could not change my mind. It was either that or a relaxer, and I had to do something cuz I bought the relaxer the same day I bc'd.

You'll be fine, Im rooting for you and all the other ladies who are transitioning with or without the bc xxx :hugs:

 

[audacity.]

I feel your pain...honestly. I remember obsessing over my hair while transitioning and tears welling up in my eyes each time i saw the breakage. I just had to cut. It was one of the hardest things I ever did and I chopped right at the front so i could not change my mind. It was either that or a relaxer, and I had to do something cuz I bought the relaxer the same day I bc'd.

You'll be fine, Im rooting for you and all the other ladies who are transitioning with or without the bc xxx :hugs:

Thank you Arabella

 

[LiLi]

I CW daily and comb only once per week. I couldn't imagine combing this every day.

OT: Sorry I don't know how to multi quote...

I'm telling you ... you are going to have to comb it more than once/week if you are conditioner washing everyday. You are going to end up with a whole bunch of knots in your hair from the shed hair not being removed. Trust me, I have learned my lesson on this. All you have to do is plait your hair in like 10 plaits, do your CW, and it will be easy to comb through. I would hate for you to have to go through a setback because of knotting.

 

[LiberianGirl]

Aww..hang in there. I understand what you're going through. MissMarie is a BIG inspiration to me. She successfully transitioned for 3+ years and now has a beautiful waistlength natural hair.

 

[audacity.]

I'm telling you ... you are going to have to comb it more than once/week if you are conditioner washing everyday. You are going to end up with a whole bunch of knots in your hair from the shed hair not being removed. Trust me, I have learned my lesson on this. All you have to do is plait your hair in like 10 plaits, do your CW, and it will be easy to comb through. I would hate for you to have to go through a setback because of knotting.

You brought a point i forgot about...THOSE DANG KNOTS!!!!!!!!!!!!! Some weeks i get none, but others, it is incredible! this past week it was very knotty. i hate the knots with a passion.

maybe i have to give up the daily cw...
*sigh* again

 

[audacity.]

Aww..hang in there. I understand what you're going through. MissMarie is a BIG inspiration to me. She successfully transitioned for 3+ years and now has a beautiful waistlength natural hair.

How did she do it??? Is she on LHCF? I wanna see her hair.

Thank you. I sure am going to try to make it, LG.

 

[Lucky's Mom]

For real, does it get any EASIER??? it is rough up in there.

btw: you hair is swaging, girl!!

Thanks mama!!!!

Yes - it does get easier..........

 

[Bigghair]

Hi! I transitioned for eleven months doing mini chops along the way. I wore micros, cornrow extensions, and wash and go "puff" until I was ready to cut all the strings off. You can do it! You probably need to do a style that lasts for at least a week so you won't have to manipulate your hair much. Good luck and hang in there.

 

[Sunshine_One]

Hi DenverGirl!

Excellent advice & suggestions posted in this thread.

I wanted to tell that I totally feel your pain...I was there 2 years ago. Transitioning can be traumatic......I know it was for me. I felt crazy...seeing my hair shed and tangle and matt up and watching my texlaxed length get thinner...all the hair in the shower drain etc...BUT...seeing that new growth and looking foward to the end result made it all worth it. When we say it's a mental transition...it really is....I know that now but at the time...it was a mental battle for me but I was determined to grow my natural hair. I can say now on the OTHER side that it was the best decision I made. With that said....please invest in a good detangler...the one that saved my sanity was Mane'N & Tail Detangler. You can find this product @ CVS and it's very inexpensive.

Please feel free to PM whenever you need support.

HTH

 

[Mook's hair]

Chile....you know I'm with you!!! If it weren't for these cornrow skills I would be relaxed silky straight by now.

I am currently living in fotki albums just trying to hold on to this journey.

Do this...everytime you get that relaxer urge...Go co wash your hair or start scratching & rubbing your scalp. Wetting your hair & or irritating your scalp then renders you unable to relax without burning.


You literally cannot relax it.

 

[filthyfresh]

GIRL! I am in the same boat with you!
I am 17 weeks post and I am about to lose it.
These two different textures are killing me.
I'm thinking about getting micros or a wig.
Sometimes I just want to chop it all off.
I've got enough for a TWA.
But my head is tooooooo big for that. LOL.
So I guess we're going to have to ride this one out together.
I at least want to make it to six months.
After that, it should be a breeze.
We have to work together girl.
How many weeks post are you?

 

[SEMO]

(((HUGS)))

Sorry to hear about your discouragement. It's possible to transition without the BC. It's what I did. Whatever you do (relax or go on to be natural) will be okay. LHCF will back you no matter what you do. There's something here for everyone.

 

[shocol]

I wish I hadn't BC'd. My problem wasn't my NG, but my relaxed hair that tangled and matted. I didn't have the patience to detangle, so I was just ripping through them, so I ended up just cutting them off. On the other hand, it is fun to see my curls grow in and see my TWA get bigger and bigger.

Give yourself some more time before you slap that relaxer back in. I hope you find something that works for you.

P.S. - If you need inspiration from a long term transistioner, check out MissMarie's fotki. I love her hair.

 

[RubyWoo]

Hey DG !

I'm only 14 weeks (almost 15 weeks come saturday) and so far it's all good for me. Right now I'm in braids and plan to transition with weave, wigs and braids. I know that I would be a mess if I had to see and deal with my hair so frequently. I don't pan to BC either and plan to transition for at least a year to a year and six months. I would love to go two years but who knows? We'll see what my hair is saying when the time arrives. Anyhoo, I think you should consider getting some braids or some protective style to hide your hair and let it do it's thing.

Aww..hang in there. I understand what you're going through. MissMarie is a BIG inspiration to me. She successfully transitioned for 3+ years and now has a beautiful waistlength natural hair.

c/s. DG, she does have a fotki. It's in her siggy and the pswd in is her profile. Good luck girl in whatever you decide to do. As long as you're happy, that's all that matters. :hugs:

 

[so so chic]

Well, I know that I am definitely the only one here that can not say that transitioning was a horrible experience for me, but it wasn't. I transitioned a long time ago, but at the time, I wasn't really thinking about it, and I didn't know how to really take care of my hair. The main things that I knew not to do was use too much heat in my hair. That was one of my biggest problems when I had a relaxer...I'd flat iron my hair nearly every day! So when i decided to go natural, I just stopped using heat in my hair other than when I went to the salon.

So...here's what I did (this was not even a plan at the time, it's just what I did). I transitioned by keeping my hair straight. I went to the salon every other week for the most part, got a wash and deep condition, and a blow out. At that point, my hair was straight. I would then wrap my hair at night. I did not experience the breakage on a daily basis, or the hassle of detangling. I guess my hair became trained because when I'd go to the salon, it became easier and easier for her the stylist to rollerset my hair. I didn't know about daily co-washing, or any of the stuff I've learned on here. I thought washing more than weekly was unheard of, other than with other races (crazy me) . Transitioning was really not a problem at all. I carried on with my hair the exact same as when I was relaxed, expect I put the flat irons away. I'm not sure how much this helped, because chances are, no one wants to take this route, but I'm just sharing my experience. If you like you can pm me. Please don't give up, you can make it .

 

[audacity.]

Chile....you know I'm with you!!! If it weren't for these cornrow skills I would be relaxed silky straight by now.

I am currently living in fotki albums just trying to hold on to this journey.

Do this...everytime you get that relaxer urge...Go co wash your hair or start scratching & rubbing your scalp. Wetting your hair & or irritating your scalp then renders you unable to relax without burning.


You literally cannot relax it.

lol, good idea mook!!!

 

[audacity.]

Hey DG !

I'm only 14 weeks (almost 15 weeks come saturday) and so far it's all good for me. Right now I'm in braids and plan to transition with weave, wigs and braids. I know that I would be a mess if I had to see and deal with my hair so frequently. I don't pan to BC either and plan to transition for at least a year to a year and six months. I would love to go two years but who knows? We'll see what my hair is saying when the time arrives. Anyhoo, I think you should consider getting some braids or some protective style to hide your hair and let it do it's thing.



c/s. DG, she does have a fotki. It's in her siggy and the pswd in is her profile. Good luck girl in whatever you decide to do. As long as you're happy, that's all that matters. :hugs:

Thank you Nixx!!! I think we can all do this together.

 

[audacity.]

Well, I know that I am definitely the only one here that can not say that transitioning was a horrible experience for me, but it wasn't. I transitioned a long time ago, but at the time, I wasn't really thinking about it, and I didn't know how to really take care of my hair. The main things that I knew not to do was use too much heat in my hair. That was one of my biggest problems when I had a relaxer...I'd flat iron my hair nearly every day! So when i decided to go natural, I just stopped using heat in my hair other than when I went to the salon.

So...here's what I did (this was not even a plan at the time, it's just what I did). I transitioned by keeping my hair straight. I went to the salon every other week for the most part, got a wash and deep condition, and a blow out. At that point, my hair was straight. I would then wrap my hair at night. I did not experience the breakage on a daily basis, or the hassle of detangling. I guess my hair became trained because when I'd go to the salon, it became easier and easier for her the stylist to rollerset my hair. I didn't know about daily co-washing, or any of the stuff I've learned on here. I thought washing more than weekly was unheard of, other than with other races (crazy me) . Transitioning was really not a problem at all. I carried on with my hair the exact same as when I was relaxed, expect I put the flat irons away. I'm not sure how much this helped, because chances are, no one wants to take this route, but I'm just sharing my experience. If you like you can pm me. Please don't give up, you can make it .

I thought about using heat, just blowdrying only. But heat kills my ends. Your hair is beautiful!

 

[audacity.]

I wish I hadn't BC'd. My problem wasn't my NG, but my relaxed hair that tangled and matted. I didn't have the patience to detangle, so I was just ripping through them, so I ended up just cutting them off. On the other hand, it is fun to see my curls grow in and see my TWA get bigger and bigger.

Give yourself some more time before you slap that relaxer back in. I hope you find something that works for you.

P.S. - If you need inspiration from a long term transistioner, check out MissMarie's fotki. I love her hair.

I am all over MissMarie!!! the best kept transitioning secret on LHCF! That is my issue as well. these dang relaxed ends! i love my NG it is so soft and supple! i'ma hang on to my length though..

 

[LiberianGirl]

How did she do it??? Is she on LHCF? I wanna see her hair.

Thank you. I sure am going to try to make it, LG.

Yep...she is on LHCF. The link to her fotki is in her profile. I don't want to speak for her so PM her for details, she's super sweet.

 

[audacity.]

Hi DenverGirl!

Excellent advice & suggestions posted in this thread.

I wanted to tell that I totally feel your pain...I was there 2 years ago. Transitioning can be traumatic......I know it was for me. I felt crazy...seeing my hair shed and tangle and matt up and watching my texlaxed length get thinner...all the hair in the shower drain etc...BUT...seeing that new growth and looking foward to the end result made it all worth it. When we say it's a mental transition...it really is....I know that now but at the time...it was a mental battle for me but I was determined to grow my natural hair. I can say now on the OTHER side that it was the best decision I made. With that said....please invest in a good detangler...the one that saved my sanity was Mane'N & Tail Detangler. You can find this product @ CVS and it's very inexpensive.

Please feel free to PM whenever you need support.

HTH

Thank you, yes this helps. I will def look for this detangler. And you described my hair exactly, except mine is relaxed straight.

 

[audacity.]

(((HUGS)))

Sorry to hear about your discouragement. It's possible to transition without the BC. It's what I did. Whatever you do (relax or go on to be natural) will be okay. LHCF will back you no matter what you do. There's something here for everyone.

Thank you, Semo!!! I know it is possible, I just didn't think I would ever get to a breaking point.

I was literally having a breakdown.

DH says that I shouldn't relax. Most of you say I shouldn't relax, I really don't think I should relax. I guess I need to make it over this hump.

*sigh*

 

[audacity.]

GIRL! I am in the same boat with you!
I am 17 weeks post and I am about to lose it.
These two different textures are killing me.
I'm thinking about getting micros or a wig.
Sometimes I just want to chop it all off.
I've got enough for a TWA.
But my head is tooooooo big for that. LOL.
So I guess we're going to have to ride this one out together.
I at least want to make it to six months.
After that, it should be a breeze.
We have to work together girl.
How many weeks post are you?

I am about 60 weeks post. I would have hoped that 6 months on was cake, but it seems like it is getting tougher. Maybe when my NG is longer than my straight ends...well not longer, I have for real shringkage (that is another discouraging thing, that the more my hair grows the shorter it looks!!)

But maybe in about another 6 months it will be smooth sailing.

Yes, we will be in this together!

 

[Cocoa21]

I felt like slapping in a relaxer the other day too. I washed this weekend and my hair broke off so much when I tried detangling. The relaxed ends were tangled and I've discovered that if I don't apply a moisturizer to my wet newgrowth before blow drying, it mats, so my newgrowth was air drying and matting as I was trying to detangle my ends and my hair was breaking as I combed. I was pissed. I began to think transitioning wasn't worth losing my length and considered relaxing at the end of the month, but my new growth is so thick that I don't want to perm it. I want my whole head thick and healthy. I slapped some olive oil cream by Africa's Best all over my head and it worked a miracle for my tight, coily, thick, dry newgrowth. The comb went through my hair from root to tip once the olive oil penetrated. Plus it was soft. That is a staple for me and it works on both textures.

We all cross that frustrated, panic stage at some point, but don't give up. Its a slow process on the way to healthy hair.

 

[naturalmanenyc]

12 weeks was easy peasy for me. I was hoping that it was going to be that easy the whole time, but it is not.

The worst part is, I've been encouraging others to continue on and now I feel like I cant. I am such a hypocrite!!!

At 12 weeks so far the only issue is finding products that work better for my curly hair. Finding products for relaxed hair was much easier. The process of trying out a ton of things (some that just don't work) is costly $$$.

 

[ClassicBeauty]

I never did a big chop. I kept rollerwrapping my hair as usual and flat ironed the roots. It wasn't that bad for me unless it rained a lot.

The thing is...I'm not sure the thoughts of relaxing ever really go away. I remember last summer when many naturals were thinking about texturizing, texlaxing, and relaxing. I was one of them. I'm glad I didn't do it, but I'm sure that this summer I will have the thoughts again. The longer my hair gets, the more time consuming it is. It's very frustrating!
Plus, I can't just do a wash & go. I have to sit under the dryer to dry it curly or sit under the dryer to dry the braids for a braid-out, or sit under the dryer with rollers before I flat iron. Unless I want to wear my hair in a wet, sloppy bun, it takes hours to wash and style it.

My hair has never been healthier or longer than it is now that I am natural and consciously growing it out, but it all comes with a cost.

 

[filthyfresh]

I am about 60 weeks post. I would have hoped that 6 months on was cake, but it seems like it is getting tougher. Maybe when my NG is longer than my straight ends...well not longer, I have for real shringkage (that is another discouraging thing, that the more my hair grows the shorter it looks!!)

But maybe in about another 6 months it will be smooth sailing.

Yes, we will be in this together!

60 weeks! Dang! LOL.
I can't even imagine being 60 weeks.
Yeah I'm getting some shrinkage too.
These coilies make my hair look shorter and it sucks.
Because I have almost 2" of NG. Hmph.
I think I'm going to try getting a Dominican blowout.
Something has to give.

 

[tocktick]

silvergirl comes to mind as someone who has successfully transitioned without the bc (i think she transitioned for 2 years). i recall another poster who transitioned for about 3 years and southerntease has gone for about 1 year (i think) and is still going strong with her transition, imo.

i know it's hard; i only transitioned for 6 months and that wasn't easy. however, it's not impossible. if you truly want to be natural then persevere. like you say, you think you'll be natural at some point down the line should you relax again. why not continue to transition, hold onto the length you've achieved and get long natural hair that much sooner? if you relax now, you're only going to go through this journey at another point down the line (if you truly think you'll be natural at some point) so you'll be starting all over again.

if you're struggling with the two textures then consider the C&G method of putting your hair in a protective style for a couple of month (with breaks, of course) so that you'll not only get good length retention but you won't have to be continually dealing with your own hair.

for many people, the hardest part of the "going" natural is not always growing your natural hair but mentally transitioning. it can be trying sometimes. keep in mind that this is all a learning process and sometimes the end justifies the means . i hope you stick it out!

 

[audacity.]

I never did a big chop. I kept rollerwrapping my hair as usual and flat ironed the roots. It wasn't that bad for me unless it rained a lot.

The thing is...I'm not sure the thoughts of relaxing ever really go away. I remember last summer when many naturals were thinking about texturizing, texlaxing, and relaxing. I was one of them. I'm glad I didn't do it, but I'm sure that this summer I will have the thoughts again. The longer my hair gets, the more time consuming it is. It's very frustrating!
Plus, I can't just do a wash & go. I have to sit under the dryer to dry it curly or sit under the dryer to dry the braids for a braid-out, or sit under the dryer with rollers before I flat iron. Unless I want to wear my hair in a wet, sloppy bun, it takes hours to wash and style it.

My hair has never been healthier or longer than it is now that I am natural and consciously growing it out, but it all comes with a cost.

I am def going to be incorporating more braid outs.

I know what you mean, it does take hours to style and I'm not 100% natural yet!!!

thanks for coming in, soror!