I don't know how to NOT be in a relationship :(

[Innocent_Kiss]

Remember the guy all of my post in this forum was about? Yeah, well after a 7 day fast (YES, the yoke was THAT strong) God finally gave me the strength to leave It's only been a few months, but I don't even have an apetite for him anymore Fast forward, I'm stuck in between two extremes. I've always been in a relationship for the most part, eversince I've been dating! I can count the number of months on one hand in the past 5 years that I haven't been

See, I know how to be super single. Super single is when you have no man in your life AT ALL. No phone calls, no sex, no relationship, no dating, no nothing. I'm cool with that. I like to call these time periods ME TIME, and I actually enjoy them.

What I don't know how to do is live in the medium between a relationship and being super single. When I'm involved with somebody, I'm 100%. I don't know how to have a dating relationship. After leaving a 3 year relationship, I actually yearn to be super single. In fact, one of my goals is to be whole with self first before I dare consider sharing me with someone else. The next time I date, I want a man to be able to add to me, not make me.

Soooooo....I've been dating someone else, and in this experience I realized that I don't know how to just date someone. I realized that I don't have to be 100% available to him, I don't owe him my body, ...I'm not obligated to do anything, actually. So, help me out ladies. What does a healthy dating relationship look like?

 

[Skyfall]

dang no one's replied lol

well girl I dunno what to tell you, it doesn't sound like a bad thing cuz you are able to be by yourself, and not go into relationships back to back. It's not a bad thing to be a hundred percent.

But then you say you want a man to add to you and not make you, that part I don'nt understand what your saying, are you giving up the goodies too soon or something, doing too much too soon. What?

 

[Almaz]

Well this is a good time to access you

 

[softblackcotton]

I'm the opposite of you I don't know how to NOT be single. I've always been somewhere between super-single and "talking to" someone all my life. I could count the number of months on both hands that I have not been super-single but still single none the less. I can't seem to get pass the "talking to" part of a "relationship." If I had your problem, I'll probably be married by now.

 

[Innocent_Kiss]

dang no one's replied lol

well girl I dunno what to tell you, it doesn't sound like a bad thing cuz you are able to be by yourself, and not go into relationships back to back. It's not a bad thing to be a hundred percent.

But then you say you want a man to add to you and not make you, that part I don'nt understand what your saying, are you giving up the goodies too soon or something, doing too much too soon. What?

No, I'm not giving up the goodies too soon. I just had some wounds that I didn't know was there until recently. I needed a man to validate who I was, I needed that sense of belonging. I've progressed leaps and bounds, but before I get involved again, I want to be sure Im totally healed from that.

 

[mscocoface]

Ask yourself how will you know you are healed, when do you think you are ready to actually get involve and experience the DATING phase?
What will you do differently?
Have you worked on the healing process enough to even start dealing with a man again?
Do you have a trigger or warning to know when or if you fall back into it?
Are you accountable to anyone who can tell you when they see or if they see it happen?

Just some things to think about.

I hope all of this turns out well for you and that you are emotionally happy, healthy and whole in order to be the best you can be in a relationship.

 

[weaveologist]

Remember the guy all of my post in this forum was about? Yeah, well after a 7 day fast (YES, the yoke was THAT strong) God finally gave me the strength to leave It's only been a few months, but I don't even have an apetite for him anymore Fast forward, I'm stuck in between two extremes. I've always been in a relationship for the most part, eversince I've been dating! I can count the number of months on one hand in the past 5 years that I haven't been

See, I know how to be super single. Super single is when you have no man in your life AT ALL. No phone calls, no sex, no relationship, no dating, no nothing. I'm cool with that. I like to call these time periods ME TIME, and I actually enjoy them.

What I don't know how to do is live in the medium between a relationship and being super single. When I'm involved with somebody, I'm 100%. I don't know how to have a dating relationship. After leaving a 3 year relationship, I actually yearn to be super single. In fact, one of my goals is to be whole with self first before I dare consider sharing me with someone else. The next time I date, I want a man to be able to add to me, not make me.

Soooooo....I've been dating someone else, and in this experience I realized that I don't know how to just date someone. I realized that I don't have to be 100% available to him, I don't owe him my body, ...I'm not obligated to do anything, actually. So, help me out ladies. What does a healthy dating relationship look like?

PLEASE tell me how to go about this fast!

In addition, I have been the same way. I don't know how to date casually either. Its something that I have been working on though. I pray alot that God prepares me to live single if that what he has ordained for my life. Reality is EVERY woman won't get married. We out number men. I need to know how to live like that HAPPILY if one of those women is me!

Oh, and read THE RULES. Very good for properly dating without making a fool out of yourself.

 

[Kerryann]

I have always been in a relationship also and it feels good to be single no stress and all that extra stuff. Ladies i just hit the dating scene but the thing is i dont want a man at all.

I've decided to just have fun and explore my options i do want to get married but i dont know when im going to meet that special someone. I say go out when you are ready do you do what makes you happy

We can have mucho fun without giving up some boodi. I let all the guys know that hey im not looking for a relationship or anything sexual neither im just having fun and im also dating other people as long as you have an understanding you dont owe anyone anything you can turn down an offer for going out and whatever

Oh yes the Rules did help some

 

[Poohbear]

Remember the guy all of my post in this forum was about? Yeah, well after a 7 day fast (YES, the yoke was THAT strong) God finally gave me the strength to leave It's only been a few months, but I don't even have an apetite for him anymore Fast forward, I'm stuck in between two extremes. I've always been in a relationship for the most part, eversince I've been dating! I can count the number of months on one hand in the past 5 years that I haven't been

See, I know how to be super single. Super single is when you have no man in your life AT ALL. No phone calls, no sex, no relationship, no dating, no nothing. I'm cool with that. I like to call these time periods ME TIME, and I actually enjoy them.

What I don't know how to do is live in the medium between a relationship and being super single. When I'm involved with somebody, I'm 100%. I don't know how to have a dating relationship. After leaving a 3 year relationship, I actually yearn to be super single. In fact, one of my goals is to be whole with self first before I dare consider sharing me with someone else. The next time I date, I want a man to be able to add to me, not make me.

Soooooo....I've been dating someone else, and in this experience I realized that I don't know how to just date someone. I realized that I don't have to be 100% available to him, I don't owe him my body, ...I'm not obligated to do anything, actually. So, help me out ladies. What does a healthy dating relationship look like?

I feel you on what you're saying. I either like to be super single or in a relationship. I do not like dating.

I would say do not try to do something you do not like to do. Keep doing what you're doing (not being 100% available to him, not owing your body to him, etc.), and see where it goes.