I am seriously fed up of my natural hair!

[swalker31]

I'm so sorry hear of your frustration. I have one question, how long are your rest periods in between your braids and your weaves? You have to give it a rest, going straight from one weave to the next is very stressful on the hair. I've wore braids, sew-in's and I wear wigs; you have to give it atleast two weeks rest.
Now if you're not giving it much rest in between and I'm not sure what your current length is now, I would do a wig without the cornrows. Your hair needs a little more strength and corn rows (just like braids and sew-in's) is still pulling on the hair. I would suggest the ayurveda powders, Shikakai and alma twice a week.

 

[Irresistible]

your hair can never reach its optimal health/full potential in braids all the time, unless you are taking time inbetween to give it tender loving care, and moisture and oils and protein

and not leaving the braids in too long


try to spend a little more time with your hair and see how you feel about it then, it will love you for it

 

[TrustMeLove]

Girl it sounds like you are going through...and I am sure the ladies in the thread have given you great advice. They probably have given you adivce I would have given you too. But, my initial response to your original post was quit different. Eventhough, I have read that you want to get it healthy and grow it long....I read your initial post and said outloud.

CUT IT OFF AND RELAX IT OR NOT

Too many hot styles going around these days to deal with hair that is frustrating you to no end. Girl I would be in the hotest shops chair right now getting my favorite Rhianna, Kelis, Estelle hair-do like my life depended on it.

I hope you find the right path for you at this time in life.

 

[pureebony]

Thanks you guys, to be honest I think my hair needs to be left alone, when I did do that it did well with the co washes, but cuz my edges are already so thin I am limited to styles.

I know I need to leave it alone between weaves, cuz at the moment, once i take my weave down I put another back in the same day..... bad I know...

but to tell the truth, if I could get a wig that I could work with, I would just wear that on my rest days and weave it up again after a few weeks. At the moment, I have left my edges out of the weave, and i have braided up the small piece at the front that I have left out, there is no damage there.

The thing is that im in the uk and we dont have that much luxury when it comes to hair types, if I could get a wig, have wig or weaves to suite my hair type I would be in a better state to look after my own hair underneath. I think my major problem is not having that flexibility so Im stuck doing damaging styles.

I was thinking of making my own wig with the type of hair that is closest to mine (after a non harmful straightening process like twists when wet or something) then wear that on my rest periods, making sure the hair is human so I can style it then just pin it to my head!?! I dunno....

 

[anon123]

Ebony, so sorry to hear your frustrations. I have plenty of my own, that's for sure. You say you have difficulty styling, but what styles have you tried? Have you just tried straight styles. People have given you a lot of good advice, probably better than I can do, but I can at least help in the styling area. But do you have any pictures of your hair? How long is it, what's your hair type? If we know these things, we might be able to help you with some easy and stress-free styles. Also, have you tried looking at the Fotkis of people with hair similar to yours?

 

[Poohbear]

It's going to be okay. We naturals always go through a moment or periods of frustration. I have noticed as my hair got longer, the less frustration I've had, but someone else's experience may be different. Be patient and try not to think about your hair. Keep your routine simple and try to leave your hair alone as much as possible.

 

[Jaxhair]

Hey Ebony,

I saw this post yesterday and didn't have a clue what to say.
So sorry you're going through a hard time with your hair babe. You gotta love forums though, as in true style you have asked for advice and you've probably got too much and my guess is you are overwhelmed and confused, lol! I couldn't really add more to what has been discussed BUT I have a question for you. In your heart of hearts, how do you see this wonderful healthy, lustrous hair you're aspiring to? Is it nappy? Is it straight? If straight - is it pressed or relaxed? Many great points have been made and you may pick whatever calls out to you most. If you want it kinky, then pay attention to points like Suburban Bush Babe's. Perhaps you want it natural but straight, or relaxed/texturised - you have many ladies here practising what they preach, I suggest research in the form of fotki-ing, foruming etc and go with your heart. I know I REALLY wanted natural hair and here's a bit of my story........

I remember feeling exactly like you do now around August 2007 and I made a bad choice out of desperation. In short - I had my hair natural since late 2005 as I really wanted to stop using chemicals. Of course, I knew zilch about hair care, full stop, let alone natural hair, so after my BC I went through the usual frustrations of trying to keep my hair groomed and healthy but without any knowledge. One morning in August '05, in my frustration I walked into this random black hair salon and asked for a texturizer. It was done all wrong, in a haste, one side of my hair was bone straight, the other was pretty much untouched. It lasted 1 day then I asked DH to cut it using his man shears and bought a wig. Weeks later & still desperate, I hot footed it to Morris Roots as I'd decided relaxing was a no no & loose natural was impossible. I got comb twists with the intention of locing. My heart wasn't in it, but I loved the fact I was out of a wig. The straight bits wouldn't stay put though, so about a couple of weeks later (late Sept/early Oct '07) I braided the coils to help them latch. Of course I left the braids in till January with little care. Took them down, wore my hair in it's afro/dreads for a few weeks though I was desperate again and wanted the locs off. Went back to the salon that messed up with the texturiser again, sigh - funny how sense escapes when one is desperate - asked for a cut as I'd decided I'd try natural again. They quoted £40+ for a cut, and it was then I decided I'd do it myself. I got home, grabbed the scissors and chopped off those dry locs and felt a HUGE relief. This was in late January 2008 and thank God, that was the last BC I had. A week or two later, whilst browsing along on the net as you do, I came across a blog comment from a lady on fotki who mentioned black haircare and attatched some links and that's how I started caring for my hair. I was amazed seeing pictures of beautiful black hair, natural and relaxed, but as I really wanted natural, I browsed natural albums more. I also joined pretty much all the hair forums I came across, lol, as I was so hungry for more info! I'm still hungry and always wish I had more hours in the day to browse more, lol.

Long story, I know......you may have given up reading at this point but hey, you are in good company! I do agree that yoou're probably better off ditching the heat and upping on moisture DCs - too much protein can be drying to hair, especially natural hair. Also find a style that leaves your hair alone for a while - even if it means wigging it for a while, whilst you care for it intensively. Put some focus on your scalp too - a healthy scalp brings forth healthy hair!

I wish you well in your journey..... If you are natural, we do have gatherings ocassionally if you're interested (organised via another site though). We've got a facebook group too for London/England naturals - I can PM you details if interested....

HHG chick, don't give up and do go with your heart. And remember - knowledge is power - get to know your hair and what you want for it and the sky's your limit!

Ps - Pics would be fab! ;-)

 

[pureebony]

Ok so you all wanted images, follow the link, the password is jesus.

http://public.fotki.com/pureebony/hair-2008/how-it-is-dec-2008/

 

[pureebony]

Ebony, so sorry to hear your frustrations. I have plenty of my own, that's for sure. You say you have difficulty styling, but what styles have you tried? Have you just tried straight styles. People have given you a lot of good advice, probably better than I can do, but I can at least help in the styling area. But do you have any pictures of your hair? How long is it, what's your hair type? If we know these things, we might be able to help you with some easy and stress-free styles. Also, have you tried looking at the Fotkis of people with hair similar to yours?

Thanks so much hon, My hair is quite soft, like a s shape but reacts like a sponge when near any form of humidity. At the moment I have given it a few trims so its touching my shoulders.

 

[pureebony]

Hey Ebony,

I saw this post yesterday and didn't have a clue what to say.
So sorry you're going through a hard time with your hair babe. You gotta love forums though, as in true style you have asked for advice and you've probably got too much and my guess is you are overwhelmed and confused, lol! I couldn't really add more to what has been discussed BUT I have a question for you. In your heart of hearts, how do you see this wonderful healthy, lustrous hair you're aspiring to? Is it nappy? Is it straight? If straight - is it pressed or relaxed? Many great points have been made and you may pick whatever calls out to you most. If you want it kinky, then pay attention to points like Suburban Bush Babe's. Perhaps you want it natural but straight, or relaxed/texturised - you have many ladies here practising what they preach, I suggest research in the form of fotki-ing, foruming etc and go with your heart. I know I REALLY wanted natural hair and here's a bit of my story........

Thanks so much for this, this is so sweet of you, everyone who has come in and offered their help. I need to figure out who I am in my hair I guess, when I see or dream of long hair, I think of versatility hair I can have in a fro when I want or straighten when I want, that's so long I don't need to have it stretched. I LOVE LONG HAIR, always have, so I want to achieve it soon....

 

[Jassy28]

Im so sorry that you are having such a frustrating time with your hair. I am not natural but I, just like many of the other ladies have had my share of hair drama. I was going to offer some advice but I think the ladies have covered everything ( gotta love LHCF ). I know that you will figure at a method that works for you, and will are always here to offer support .

 

[DDTexlaxed]

I tried yr password and it didn't work. I tried a natural relaxer that did not use chemicals. It was Goya coconut cream, 2 tbsp of yogurt, and a dash of salt. I left it on 10 minutes and rinsed out. My hair is soft and moisturized. My hair is not relaxed, but it did make it easier to manipulate. I made this recipe as a knock off of a recipe on LHCF. There is so much info here. If you need any encouragement, we're here for you.

 

[NYAmicas]

I am so sorry your going through this. I thought about going natural for six months before I actually did it, When I did it, I didn't like how I looked, my face didn't look right and my family had a hard time accepting it, so did my kids but they were supportive. I was determine to get use to it. I did not weave up my hair or wear wigs, I adjusted to it exactly the way it was, inspite of all the comments I got, even the relaxer sitting on my desk at work. I got through it, I learned how to style my hair the best way I could and sometimes it looked crazy but I adjusted to it. I think all the advice we can give you won't be effective unless you learn to embrace your natural hair just the way it is. I would suggest that you continue with the co washes at least three times a week and keep a small amount of conditioner on your ends all the time. it greatly improve my ends from getting those small little balls. I still get them from time to time but not as badly as I use to. I keep my ends moisturized and I use either shea butter or coconut oil or avocado oil on my ends every single day morning and night I haven't trimmed my hair since March and not trying to trim it until I reach my goal so I try hard to protect my ends from tangles, so I never ever comb my hair dry or sleep without protecting it. Your getting really good advice on here I wish you the best with whatever you decided to do for your hair.

I also wear my hair in ponytails from time to time with satin scrunchies. I had to get them on ebay through London.
Still looking for silk ones, silk would always be better for your hair.
I use various conditioners that have extra moisture in there
I deep condition once a week but trying to work up to three times
I use essential oils in my conditioner mixtures and massage my hair
Its really growing well, slow but steady. I am 100% natural and still learning after almost 3 years

Just wanted to say your hair is gorgeous.

 

[pureebony]

Ok so you all wanted images, follow the link, the password is jesus.

http://public.fotki.com/pureebony/hair-2008/how-it-is-dec-2008/

Please take a look again, I have taken the password off, please offer any advice and help ...

 

[Hairsofab]

If I were you, I would step away from the weave. I would not flat iron. I would get a wig, preferably a lace front (you can get a synthetic lace front for between 60-80 dollars). I would wash and condition my natural hair once or twice a week and keep it moisturized. I would braid it down myself(not in tight braids) or twists and let your hair have a break for several months.

I don't really see anything wrong with your hair other than the effects of too much manipulation. The constant weaves, flat ironing, improper braiding is killing your hair. Trust me I've been there. When I was in your situation though I ended up getting it all off and rocking a twa that was a snap close to my head. But if I had to do it again I would probably just do what I said to do in the beginning.

And I have a similar hair texture to yours, my hair does not get straight from flat ironing it. It just gets flat, or kinky flat. I don't know how to describe it. I figure I don't have the right kind of flat iron to get it straight.