I am an accomplice to the disturbing ww/bm phenom

[mischka]

Don't hate me

I have this friend who is an overweight white woman. She isn't bulging three feet in front of her, but she has to shop at Lane Bryant, ok. When we met I'm not sure if she actually may have been a virgin. I do know that she ended up talking to the creeper forty-plus year old black man with four kids who refused to admit whatever it was he was doing with her and kept denying he was dating her. Despite the fact that she and I had a very deliberate conversation about her thinking that she was dating him.

So basically she is always checking for black men when we hang out. I said something once about not wanting to date a man who has kids limiting the amount of eligible black men, and she was all, see I don't care if he has kids. She wants me to take her to a "black" club, where the stipulations were 1. no techno music and 2. black women won't give her day-glo @ss attitude for being there. I offered her a choice of three clubs that were each 1. almost all black, 2. mostly black, or 3. mixed. She picked the mostly black club saying "white guys don't appreciate my body type."

It's so on the nose! it's like, EXACTLY the type of thing we discuss here, for exactly the reasons we presume. And it's also kind of weird because it's like she wants to be places where I'm not really interested in hanging out, and meet guys that I'm not interested in meeting and vice versa which is weird to think about.

So does this make me a traitor? (And for those that need it verbalized, this is a jokey post so you don't have to come in here chastising me with your serious negro shenanigans attitude)

More importantly, does or has anyone else ever had a friend like this?

 

[naijamerican]

at "serious negro shenanigans attitude!" I have nothing else to contribute to this thread.

 

[Nelli04]

Yup I have a couple friends like this. They've always been overweight, even in middle school. And since HS they've only dated black dudes because those are the only guys who will give them the time of day....mind you, the type of black guys they go for are definitely not the type I would be interested in...

They never asked for help though

 

[Lady Esquire]

So does this make me a traitor? (And for those that need it verbalized, this is a jokey post so you don't have to come in here chastising me with your serious negro shenanigans attitude)

More importantly, does or has anyone else ever had a friend like this?

No. You're not a traitor. I know a BM who married a WW with all of the traits of your friend. They were both quite limited. I doubt neither him nor her broke hearts from their respective race. They were a tragically, yet oddly-enough perfect couple. Gotta get love where you can find it.

What's a thread without serious negro shenanigan attitudes? Serious negro shenanigan attitudes are one of the basic LHCF tenets. Don't fight it, appreciate it.

 

[blackbarbietea]

I had a girl that was my friend and she was like this. I refused to help her. Js.

Sent from my Droid using Droid

 

[mischka]

I had a girl that was my friend and she was like this. I refused to help her. Js.

Sent from my Droid using Droid

exactly. I kind of feel like I don't wanna help her @ss either. And also I am theoretically opposed to this whole idea of "I struck out here so I am almost forced to orient myself to this other group that arguably has lower standards." (I mean if it were me I would just fcking lose weight but whatever) it's kind of like... nobody's holding my hand taking me to the white/asian/hispanic/indian club, and I'm facing bigger hurdle(s) than you are.

But it gets kind of petty when it's not just a theoretical thing and it's someone you actually know erplexed

 

[intergalacticartist]

Hm, she should have higher standards for herself. And I'm not talking about her going for black guys either.
She's purposely going for guys with lower standards (again, not saying because they're black, or because of her weight). The guy is denying her, I mean come on!

 

[qchelle]

Yes, I have this white friend who is...hmm...I would say morbidly obese...not like Brookhaven obese though Anyway, she basically only goes for black guys. Idk if she doesn't care about standards of said black guy. And she super aggressive with it too

She's never asked me for help. She don't need it However, she does get mad (when our group of friends go out) that all the white guys flock to us ( me and our other skinny white gfs...even our larger black friend! Lol She's normal large though...nowhere near the obese white one)



Sent from my WX445 using WX445

 

[Love Always]

Hmmm, your post reminded me of a hispanic lady that I hang out with during a job training course. She was overweight and had two children with a black man. Everytime we went out somewhere she was doing the search for black men . I really didn't notice until another lady that I was cool with which was black bought it to my attention. She said, "everytime Cathy see's a black man she breaks her neck trying to look" .

One time we had an event and this black man which was nice looking was working it. She tried to get all in his face but he simply wasn't interested, I'm like sorry hun not every black man is going to be interested in you .

 

[TrueToHair]

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

 

[TrueToHair]

........................................

 

[ambergirl]

Meh...why not help her out?...It's highly unlikely that the dudes that are checking for her would be of interest to you or other black women so you might as well help them find each other.

 

[Windsy]

I don't know anyone like this and I wouldn't help them if I did. As a matter of fact, I'd be quite disgusted. Why not just loose weight so "your" white man can appreciate you.

 

[Renewed1]

But it gets kind of petty when it's not just a theoretical thing and it's someone you actually know erplexed

EXACTLY!! I get the point of your thread and agree with some of the ladies. I'm a firm believer if you want to date outside of your race, do it because you are attracted to that race. Not because they will "accept" you. Because I've seen skinny CUTE white guys with big WHITE women.

 

[MissMasala5]

She says white men don't like her body type? She's full of it. She needs to be told that black men aren't exactly getting with her *because* of her body type, neither. Maybe she knows this and doesn't care and is simply looking to get her woman needs met and think she's seeking an easier option by going after BM.

 

[mischka]

No offense to your friend, but I would not have helped her. Not one bit.

Sorry, but I am always quite suspicious of these women who consider themselves unappealing to who they would normally date (and probably themselves) looking elsewhere as some kind of last resort. It reeks of entitlement. It's like, "I may be fat and slovenly, but I'm white, so obviously I am some kind of prize for them."

I am also uncomfortable given the social history of white women coming to black clubs for this exact purpose. It really isn't discussed, but this is as much apart of American social history as Jim Crow. The Autobiography of Malcolm X is just one small example. If these white women really believed that they are upgrades as they claim, then they wouldn't have to scour black meeting places "hunting" for men. Let me know if I'm out of line, but the whole thing is REALLY unsettling for me.

No, I agree

She says white men don't like her body type? She's full of it. She needs to be told that black men aren't exactly getting with her *because* of her body type, neither. Maybe she knows this and doesn't care and is simply looking to get her woman needs met and think she's seeking an easier option by going after BM.

and I agree. The thing that bothers me is she enjoys all the negative behavior and what have you that sickens me. I suppose she'd have to since she's a part of it. Like once we were talking about taking the train back into the area where we live and she said how when she's coming back at night the black men there always try to talk to her. I just wanna tell her sometimes like, it really has nothing to do with you, those types of dudes would fck a light socket if they needed to but she interprets it as "there's nothing wrong with my body and clearly they like it." I don't think that's exactly true.

But whatever. Black men are the ones doing it, so they wouldn't get it in their head if the didn't. It's like that poster who somewhere (wish I could find it) posted about how her white friend was straight up like "[whatever she said that was so incredibly entitled]"

good responses in this thread.

 

[itsjusthair88]

First of all this thread LOL...second of all, OMG do we have the same friend? Like for real, I have a friend who is white, BUT she claims that in her family tree there are black people and she has NO body to speak of, it's just a big blob with titties (lol) and she only dates black dudes, tryna tell me she's "trying to add color back into her family line" (no I don't know what that means) but she dates the most raggediest n***as in the world!!! I mean, just raggedy, for real...No I don't help her, but she's never asked. And the dudes she's scooped up, I'm glad she has taken them out of the potential African American gene pool.

 

[Nelli04]

^^ lmao @ big blob with boobs...oh the visual...

 

[CurlyMoo]

I think you would be better served helping her lose weight.

 

[Dposh167]

Hey....i see more overweight ww than bad ww with bm on the street. I already know. But as rude as it is to say but the bm they get are soooo not worth even glancing at. Its like 2 rejects finding each other. I dont get the sense of entitlement vibe due to their whiteness..from the ones i know. Its more about them feeling more confident around bm cuz in their head they wont get rejected by them. Women want male attention. And if their own group is not noticing then they move on to the men who do. Same for some bm i knew in school. Every bm with a fat ww i knew werent getting checked by bw. so oh well. It doesnt disrupt my love life

 

[Theresamonet]

Your friend doesn't really need your help. None of these fat WW do. She's just asking because she is lazy.

Sad to say, but a lot of black men would take that white "blob with titties" over a decent looking black woman without a second thought. Their sense of entitlement is justifiable. Many people especially black men (and asian women) DO think white is a prize regardless of how misshapen it is. White women have always known this, just like we know it. Who does it benefit for them to pretend otherwise?

Now If I were a white woman, I would just go on Weight Watchers so I could claim my rightful place in the world , instead of waddling around in the mud, out of breath, with Tyrone and nem.

 

[hopeful]

Lately I have seen quite a few slim, fairly attractive ww with fairly decent looking, respectable bm. I rarely see the overweight ww/raggedy bm combo anymore. I used to see it all the time though. One couple I know personally and the man is a nice-looking business owner. He treats his slim, pretty wife like crap IMO. I was stunned. I was so embarrassed for her I told my husband I couldn't be around them for fear I'd say something out of order. The man is a friend of my dh's and I feel like she is a grown woman and should handle her business.

Also recently one of my dd's friend's mothers asked me if my husband knew any nice, single men. I have known this woman for four years, her divorce has been final for about two, and I have never fixed my mouth to offer man help ever, and in four years she has never asked either. She is an extremely petite blonde, somewhat attractive, with a big bust, dresses in a sexy manner, but she is not educated. I just told her well most of dh's friends are married, not much he can do with single men. That's the truth, but mostly I was thinking I have no intention of trying to matchmake you with a good-looking, educated brother . Besides, most of the men we know only date/marry educated women with at least a bachelor's. I hope I'm wrong but it did feel like she is becoming desperate and thought well the successful wm aren't checking for her so maybe she should try and "settle" for a brother. Not with my help she won't.

 

[chocolat79]

Your friend doesn't really need your help. None of these fat WW do. She's just asking because she is lazy.

Sad to say, but a lot of black men would take that white "blob with titties" over a decent looking black woman without a second thought. Their sense of entitlement is justifiable. Many people especially black men (and asian women) DO think white is a prize regardless of how misshapen it is. White women have always known this, just like we know it. Who does it benefit for them to pretend otherwise?

Now If I were a white woman, I would just go on Weight Watchers so I could claim my rightful place in the world , instead of waddling around in the mud, out of breath, with Tyrone and nem.

This is soooooo true! Thanks wasn't enough.

 

[mischka]

Also recently one of my dd's friend's mothers asked me if my husband knew any nice, single men. I have known this woman for four years, her divorce has been final for about two, and I have never fixed my mouth to offer man help ever, and in four years she has never asked either. She is an extremely petite blonde, somewhat attractive, with a big bust, dresses in a sexy manner, but she is not educated. I just told her well most of dh's friends are married, not much he can do with single men. That's the truth, but mostly I was thinking I have no intention of trying to matchmake you with a good-looking, educated brother . Besides, most of the men we know only date/marry educated women with at least a bachelor's. I hope I'm wrong but it did feel like she is becoming desperate and thought well the successful wm aren't checking for her so maybe she should try and "settle" for a brother. Not with my help she won't.

preach

as far as whether or not she actually "needs" my help, i dont think like, in the world she'll never meet a sucker if i don't organize it for her... but she'd never go to a "black" club on her own. i am enabling her to a point where she'd languish on her own without someone to push it forward. like i said i'm pretty sure she was a virgin when we met (and yeah as far as I know she ended up sleeping with the creeper black dude who, by the way, spent almost a year at internship trying to talk to me and then spent the next year hanging out with her more attractive friend so much that everyone thought they were dating). i have never seen her show interest or receive interest from a guy other than that. when we met i assumed she liked white guys but over time i realized white guys simply dont check for her.

i mean, it can't be the case that an overweight white woman can't find ONE white man who'd date her so this phenomenon is kind of puzzling in that way, right? i just don't understand the need to be so deliberate about switching the type of guy you'll date.

 

[itsjusthair88]

preach

as far as whether or not she actually "needs" my help, i dont think like, in the world she'll never meet a sucker if i don't organize it for her... but she'd never go to a "black" club on her own. i am enabling her to a point where she'd languish on her own without someone to push it forward. like i said i'm pretty sure she was a virgin when we met (and yeah as far as I know she ended up sleeping with the creeper black dude who, by the way, spent almost a year at internship trying to talk to me and then spent the next year hanging out with her more attractive friend so much that everyone thought they were dating). i have never seen her show interest or receive interest from a guy other than that. when we met i assumed she liked white guys but over time i realized white guys simply dont check for her.

i mean, it can't be the case that an overweight white woman can't find ONE white man who'd date her so this phenomenon is kind of puzzling in that way, right? i just don't understand the need to be so deliberate about switching the type of guy you'll date.

I also think it's WHERE you are; like take for instance, I'm in California and larger women by-an-by don't swing 'em here like they do back east (I used to live on the east coast) I mean, I still pull, but not crazy pull like I used to. Also, in the south (at least the southern states I've been to, about 6 total) large white women pull down there, they just do (lol). I see them with Mexican dudes, black dudes, anorexic-looking white dudes...maybe it's the cooking, but they pull down there. So I think if your friend was down south, some white dudes would be checking for her (as would the black dudes) BUT if you are in a metropolitan/city/urban area like I'm in, then, no...there are plenty of slim/attractive white women the white guys go fo

Disclaimer: JUST MY HUMBLE OPINION

 

[LadyPaniolo]

I am lmao at this whole thread!

Myself, I would not and do not allow myself to become anybody's mule. Homegirl wants to use you to get herself a man, but what has she done for YOU lately, mischka? Hmmm? She wants to just have a "black girlfriend" as a PROP to justify her presence at a black club. Man... I'd tell her EXACTLY where to go, and what to do when she got there. SMDH.

As far as raggedy WW with BM, it's whatever. Doesn't bother me in the slightest, as I'm sure you all know already but I will NOT be the tool getting used by anybody, most especially some lame, hideous, thirsty WW! No ma'am.

 

[RossBoss]

I would do it for laughs, because you know how these type of "relationships" usually end. It would be funny to watch it implode over and over again with different men.

 

[Theresamonet]

i mean, it can't be the case that an overweight white woman can't find ONE white man who'd date her so this phenomenon is kind of puzzling in that way, right? i just don't understand the need to be so deliberate about switching the type of guy you'll date.

I don't feel it's a matter of not being able to find one WM in the world who'd date her. 'Bubba' and 'Billy-bob' will take a fat WW too. Even an average WM will date a fat WW as long as she isn't a pig about it. But every woman wants to feel like a prize to her mate. And most often in a WM/ fat WW relationship, he would be the one settling for her! But most white women think that they are better than black women no matter how out of shape they are, and black men perpetuate this idea. So with a black man they can feel like the creme de la creme, confident , and secure.

Why would they go where they feel their man will have better options, as opposed to being that 'better option'?

 

[mischka]

I don't feel it's a matter of not being able to find one WM in the world who'd date her. 'Bubba' and 'Billy-bob' will take a fat WW too. Even an average WM will date a fat WW as long as she isn't a pig about it. But every woman wants to feel like a prize to her mate. And most often in a WM/ fat WW relationship, he would be the one settling for her! But most white women think that they are better than black women no matter how out of shape they are, and black men perpetuate this idea. So with a black man they can feel like the creme de la creme, confident , and secure.

Why would they go where they feel their man will have better options, as opposed to being that 'better option'?

Let us not forget that the tradeoff here is that you have to date a man that's not worth siht that nobody else wants. That's like feeling like the queen of the local county dump.

 

[Theresamonet]

Let us not forget that the tradeoff here is that you have to date a man that's not worth siht that nobody else wants. That's like feeling like the queen of the local county dump.

True. But they'd rather be queen somewhere than nowhere...And do they really know that nobody else wants him? I've seen women of all kinds acting like their piece of sh!t men were highly sought after. It's all about what they precise the black man to be. A lot of them think that is what a black man is a lowlife, thug , roughneck, deadbeat, so they don't believe they are getting any less than what you are.