How to not lose yourself in your relationship. ..

[dede1129]

I am in a new relationship and I notice that when I am single I develop a routine of self care involving things that make me happy and I thoroughly enjoy that. However when I get into a relationship I feel the need to include SO in things I do then eventually miss my me time. I do still have it but I notice it takes way more effort and planning than my normal spontaneous nature.

What are some ways you avoid losing yourself in your relationship?

 

[brownb83]

You have to learn to be selfish. You are important. You must maintain your hobbies and activites.

Getting completely caught up in a man is bad idea. Schedule your time for you and stick to it.

Is he giving up everything for you? No.If you stop taking care of your self your relationship will suffer because you won't be happy.

For some people selfishness is a learned behavior and thats ok. But never lose yourself for any man.

 

[LiftedUp]

In a relationship I am me just that I'm romantically linked with someone. The only thing that changes is that I make effort to spend time with him and I include him in some activities where it is possible.

I also keep a calendar so I just schedule things that he may invite me to, once it doesn't clash with my previous commitments.

I am more about linking our lives versus one person's life overshadowing the other's.

HTH

 

[carcajada]

Stop shifting your priorities. If you did xyz for yourself by yourself then stick to it. Come up with new exciting activities that you can share with your SO.

 

[Seeking8Rights]

Maintain your frame: keep yourself first (he'll thank you for it), sustain your sisterhood (again, he'll thank you for it), keep your activities and create some with him.

IMO when we (women) get into a relationship we become the biggest "change agents" and most often it not a healthy balance. Then we expect them (men) to fall in line and they often resist (which they should).

 

[Kimbosheart]

keep those things up and maybe pick one thing to be completely selfish about and never invite him along. It helps if it's something that can be done spontaneously as well as planned out. That way you can schedule it and he can see that you do something regularly or on days when you just need a break you go do that.

A man can influence your lives in tiny ways that build up over time. So I think it's commendable that you are staying vigilant. Sometimes, it's not even direct influence from him but just you're tired from balancing it all (work, the relationship) that you veg out on the couch instead of doing something active to benefit just you.

I volunteer regularly, and I can always drop in on a dance class. I need to start the dancing more often and I work out every day. He can join me on the workouts but I'm in the gym at 6:00 am with or without him.