How Should I Go About This Matter?

H

hairenergizer

Active Member
Ok I'm not sure what to do at this point. Started talking with this guy and at first he was all "bubbly" an so and wanted me to be his "baby". Well I started becoming more open and straight forward with him... why did I do this? I started telling him how I felt about where I felt the relationship could possibly go and the things I wanted to do. This is where it goes left. He has slacked calling and texting and in a way seems as if he wants to disappear. Well let me be honest I called one day and I know he was lying, he stated he has been so busy, so I switched it the next time I talked to him I pretended (lil- white lie) I was busy out of town with some friends and I was having soo much fun at this event. In reality I was really at home sad because I had not heard from him, but he didn't know because I text him with a happy answer. Well I truly believe he got mad he didn't say so but I believe he did because this is when he started to act flaky.
My question to you ladies is how would you handle this? Would you just keep reaching out? Does it sound as if I may be over processing the situation? It's like he knows I'm really digging him, how do I turn the situation back around like I first had it in my court? I don't know ... what?
 
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personally i would block him completely but i can be quite the cold person and if i cant think of 5 reasons to keep you around, i will cut you off without hesitation

for you..if you dont wanna cut him off completely (you should) ignore his texts. you can pick up his calls, but dont say much. let him do all the talking. you need to find out what the hell he wants and eventually he will tell on himself. you making up lies and stuff is just going to make you upset and resentful

when last have yall gone out on a date?
 
Are yall serious? I can't tell. If so speak with him about your feelings. If no yah gobe ahead and instead of pretending to be out having fun go have some fun and try not to think about dude
 
Have you read the book, "Why Men Love B!tche$?" READ IT!

The only way to reel him back in IMHO is to back off. Men are predators and if someone/something is too easy for them to attain they lose interest or feel like what they want must not be that valuable. Now, understand this is risky. He might be completely disinterested now. If that is the case, it is his loss. And please do not be at home moping over him. Live your life! Good luck!
 
OP I woud date other people until I was in an exclusive relationship agreed upon by my partner and I.

When a man wants to be with you he is never to busy.
 
hairenergizer said:
Ok I'm not sure what to do at this point. Started talking with this guy and at first he was all "bubbly" an so and wanted me to be his "baby". Well I started becoming more open and straight forward with him... why did I do this? I started telling him how I felt about where I felt the relationship could possibly go and the things I wanted to do. This is where it goes left. He has slacked calling and texting and in a way seems as if he wants to disappear. Well let me be honest I called one day and I know he was lying, he stated he has been so busy, so I switched it the next time I talked to him I pretended (lil- white lie) I was busy out of town with some friends and I was having soo much fun at this event. In reality I was really at home sad because I had not heard from him, but he didn't know because I text him with a happy answer. Well I truly believe he got mad he didn't say so but I believe he did because this is when he started to act flaky.
My question to you ladies is how would you handle this? Would you just keep reaching out? Does it sound as if I may be over processing the situation? It's like he knows I'm really digging him, how do I turn the situation back around like I first had it in my court? I don't know ... what?
Click to expand...

Men are always 'mad' when they think they've given you the slip and then they're getting it back. I would return his call but space it out and no 'explanations'just oh I was busy and wait all day. If he calls after 4, call him back next day. I wouldn't text him at all. Men like chase, being too available makes them get bored.

Let him get flaky, if he wants to talk or see you, he will get in on your 'busy' schedule.

Sent from yacht with Beyonce & Blue
 
I wouldn't totally ignore him. Always leave a small indication you are interested. When he texts you, wait a few hours before you respond with a very quick, but kind, direct response. Don't have him think you are home pining away for him. He probably wants the chase...men are hunters. You may have allowed yourself to be caught too quickly. Slow it down.......
 
Hmmm, this is so similar to the 'would you respond?' thread that's shaping up to turn into 'my honey'gate lol
 
If a guy is into you, he WILL make a way to contact you. Busy or not. This guy, right here, is just not that into you. NEXT!

And next time you need to guard your heart a but more. Let the guy take the lead. Although it may be true, don't pour over how much you want to be with a guy and a future with him, before he does. Some people look at this as playing games. Wrong. 1) It's a fact that guys like to chase, so let him. 2) You need to value your heart so much that only those who show that they are deserving will ever know what's on it. Guys can show me this by, for exmple, telling me their true feelings about me, then whatever they say needs to line up with their actions. If the feelings are mutual then I can allow him the priviledge of knowing what's on my heart.

Our hearts are delicate and require a bit more protecting. In a situation like this I feel like you've fumbled and snd dropped yours on the floor, and he's just standing there, watching.
 
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Sounds like both of you guys are lying about things. Way too soon for the game playing (not that there is really a good time to play games). Move on.
 
hairenergizer said:
Ok I'm not sure what to do at this point. Started talking with this guy and at first he was all "bubbly" an so and wanted me to be his "baby". Well I started becoming more open and straight forward with him... why did I do this? I started telling him how I felt about where I felt the relationship could possibly go and the things I wanted to do. This is where it goes left. He has slacked calling and texting and in a way seems as if he wants to disappear. Well let me be honest I called one day and I know he was lying, he stated he has been so busy, so I switched it the next time I talked to him I pretended (lil- white lie) I was busy out of town with some friends and I was having soo much fun at this event. In reality I was really at home sad because I had not heard from him, but he didn't know because I text him with a happy answer. Well I truly believe he got mad he didn't say so but I believe he did because this is when he started to act flaky.
My question to you ladies is how would you handle this? Would you just keep reaching out? Does it sound as if I may be over processing the situation? It's like he knows I'm really digging him, how do I turn the situation back around like I first had it in my court? I don't know ... what?
Click to expand...


He didn't like the taste of his own medicine. He got all comfy and was sure he had you in the bag when you told him his feelings. You were supposed to be sitting at home crying over him, not out having fun as you had him believed. Its about his ego.

If it were me, I would do nothing. I would not try to contact him 1st because if he wants to act all flaky, you don't have time for that. Guys who really dig you don't act flaky or wishy-washy they let you know what the deal is point blank. Please believe me.

I would be really going out meeting new guys to date and hanging out with friends. If he don't like that I am going out living my life meeting new (mature) men and want to be exclusive, then he knows how to contact me and act correct.
 
FelaShrine said:
personally i would block him completely but i can be quite the cold person and if i cant think of 5 reasons to keep you around, i will cut you off without hesitation
Click to expand...

I am the same way. I can totally cut people off and act like they never existed. Yeah my heart would be hurting, but you will never know because you have been cut off from all communication. Ex boyfriends could not handle this and start to freak out calling texting, crying etc. Problem is when I am done, I AM DONE.

Guys respond to no RESPONSE. They expect girls to cuss them out yell. But when they don't hear nothing...oh no..you mean to tell me I am not the center of the world to this girl and she can live without me? It can't be!
 
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I’ve always been a multiple dater. I also never gave a dude exclusive rights until he had earned it. IMO, this guy is not worthy, so I advise you to go live your life and throw this one back into the shallow end.
 
When it comes to men, pay attention to what they do versus what they say. I've learned this the hard way.

Even if you are not a multi dater,don't plan your life around the guy.
 
So many guys out there are playing games. They love to hunt/chase. Once you fall for them it's game over. A man that's really into you and knows you're worth will fight tooth and nail to win your heart. And after that battle he will cherish it.
When I was single I dated (not sleep with, slobbed down or got sexual with) multiple men AT THE SAME TIME. When one acted up I wasn't even pressed. And sometimes I wouldn't even care to the point that I would continue seeing him until a replacement squeezed him out.:look:
I hated dating one man at a time. It was too hard and not much fun for me. Meet a guy, he'd chase me like crazy -as soon as I catch feelings he'd pull back-I had to chase him - I'm miserable and I quit.-He comes back.....repeat. My dad hipped me to the game. He said a single woman with one of anything is a mighty poor woman.:blush:
Dating multiple men is fun and takes the pressure off. You honestly are trying to have fun and get to know them as a person instead of thinking and hoping..... "Is he the one? I hope's he's the one! Gosh I want this to work. I hope this works. How can I make this work?"
If you were dating multiple men you wouldn't have felt so vulnerable after sharing personal information about yourself because just like shoes you have options. If he hadn't called in a week, you wouldn't notice and if you did you really wouldn't care because you are being pursued by other equally desirable options.
The Four Man Plan
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BcsS5trqzdc
 
Sorry this happened to you. Happens to us all at one point. Be nonchalant and carefree when he calls. Dont offer explanations of your own accord. If he asks specifics, be vague as hell. Enough to leave the gaps in your explanations up to his imagination. Either he will begin pursuit again or he will walk away. Always be prepared for the latter, though. Some men are just weak and dont have the balls to continue.

I always keep like 3-4 men in rotation when I'm dating. The last one I didnt and that was my bad. Multi-dating is fun--that way you're not all hung up. And if that one flakes, NEXT! IF one is great and sincere enough to catch your attention, then he is the one that deserves your attention.
 
Thanks for all the advice each of you have given to me. I think there were some great points made from some of you. I have to say that some seem to think that I may just be sitting around waiting for this dude phone call. That's not it at all. It was just at the moment I was in and I decided to do him just like he did me in which he stated he has become so busy and tired.
fast-forward today, I decided to take the advice of some of the op's here and if and when he does call/text just ignore it until the next day and when I eventually do respond I say something to the effect of "I have really been busy" something along those lines. Although I must truly say this is really killen me inside. I truly "fall weak" for guys once meeting them and that's only if I like them. I have to have an interest. I am so sick today my stomach is doing twirls and I could not sleep last night. I keep saying in my head "dam him", but it's not helping. All because of a couple of kisses & hugs we had. No coloring yet, although I must say I wanted to take it there and he insisted that we wait because in his words " I like you & don't won't to mess up our friendship. Then he will come back later and switch it to "let's make love". I'm like what the he--. Anyhow ladies Im sick, hopefully this will subside if I don't talk to him for a while. My whole point is I had the "ball" in my hands and it went left. I feel as if though he defeated me and not me being the victor. I would have felt better if I had just started doing him this way first. Lord help me to get over this!
 
ms.mimi said:
So many guys out there are playing games. They love to hunt/chase. Once you fall for them it's game over. A man that's really into you and knows you're worth will fight tooth and nail to win your heart. And after that battle he will cherish it.
When I was single I dated (not sleep with, slobbed down or got sexual with) multiple men AT THE SAME TIME. When one acted up I wasn't even pressed. And sometimes I wouldn't even care to the point that I would continue seeing him until a replacement squeezed him out.:look:
I hated dating one man at a time. It was too hard and not much fun for me. Meet a guy, he'd chase me like crazy -as soon as I catch feelings he'd pull back-I had to chase him - I'm miserable and I quit.-He comes back.....repeat. My dad hipped me to the game. He said a single woman with one of anything is a mighty poor woman.:blush:
Dating multiple men is fun and takes the pressure off. You honestly are trying to have fun and get to know them as a person instead of thinking and hoping..... "Is he the one? I hope's he's the one! Gosh I want this to work. I hope this works. How can I make this work?"
If you were dating multiple men you wouldn't have felt so vulnerable after sharing personal information about yourself because just like shoes you have options. If he hadn't called in a week, you wouldn't notice and if you did you really wouldn't care because you are being pursued by other equally desirable options.
The Four Man Plan
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BcsS5trqzdc
Click to expand...

Thanks for this post !
 
hairenergizer said:
Thanks for all the advice each of you have given to me. I think there were some great points made from some of you. I have to say that some seem to think that I may just be sitting around waiting for this dude phone call. That's not it at all. It was just at the moment I was in and I decided to do him just like he did me in which he stated he has become so busy and tired.
fast-forward today, I decided to take the advice of some of the op's here and if and when he does call/text just ignore it until the next day and when I eventually do respond I say something to the effect of "I have really been busy" something along those lines. Although I must truly say this is really killen me inside. I truly "fall weak" for guys once meeting them and that's only if I like them. I have to have an interest. I am so sick today my stomach is doing twirls and I could not sleep last night. I keep saying in my head "dam him", but it's not helping. All because of a couple of kisses & hugs we had. No coloring yet, although I must say I wanted to take it there and he insisted that we wait because in his words " I like you & don't won't to mess up our friendship. Then he will come back later and switch it to "let's make love". I'm like what the he--. Anyhow ladies Im sick, hopefully this will subside if I don't talk to him for a while. My whole point is I had the "ball" in my hands and it went left. I feel as if though he defeated me and not me being the victor. I would have felt better if I had just started doing him this way first. Lord help me to get over this!
Click to expand...

be thankful he stopped you cos if yall did sleep together you would feel so much worse considering his current actions right now
 
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hairenergizer said:
Thanks for all the advice each of you have given to me. I think there were some great points made from some of you. I have to say that some seem to think that I may just be sitting around waiting for this dude phone call. That's not it at all. It was just at the moment I was in and I decided to do him just like he did me in which he stated he has become so busy and tired.
fast-forward today, I decided to take the advice of some of the op's here and if and when he does call/text just ignore it until the next day and when I eventually do respond I say something to the effect of "I have really been busy" something along those lines. Although I must truly say this is really killen me inside. I truly "fall weak" for guys once meeting them and that's only if I like them. I have to have an interest. I am so sick today my stomach is doing twirls and I could not sleep last night. I keep saying in my head "dam him", but it's not helping. All because of a couple of kisses & hugs we had. No coloring yet, although I must say I wanted to take it there and he insisted that we wait because in his words " I like you & don't won't to mess up our friendship. Then he will come back later and switch it to "let's make love". I'm like what the he--. Anyhow ladies Im sick, hopefully this will subside if I don't talk to him for a while. My whole point is I had the "ball" in my hands and it went left. I feel as if though he defeated me and not me being the victor. I would have felt better if I had just started doing him this way first. Lord help me to get over this!
Click to expand...

hairenergizer

I'm confused by your post.

Have you had any contact with him?

Did he text/call? If so, what did you do?
 
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