How Much Do I Give? (Wishing Well Wedding)

[jazzerz]

(I wasn't sure if this belonged in the Wedding forum, since I'm not getting married - feel free to move it)

A good friend of mine from HS is getting married. They have requested that guests don't bring gifts since they've had their house furnished for some time now. Instead, they're having a wishing well wedding. I googled this but I was also curious about what others may answer. What do y'all think? How much is enough?

 

[bklynbornNbred]

There is no set answer. Whatever price range of gift you would have looked at on the registry (one place setting or the entire set) is appropriate.

 

[Transformer]

What you can afford...and not a penny more.

 

[SummerSolstice]

smart couple. Taking notes.

 

[Honey01]

I am not going to state my opinion on wishing well weddings.....

But, I would guess $50-$100 is a good number. I usually give cash anyway. I am usually too lazy to look up wedding registers.

You might want to factor the age of the bride and groom? A younger couple is probably more in need than an older couple. Also, consider the amount you would normally spend on a gift as a gauge.

 

[Menina Preta]

Culturally, all are weddings are "wishing well" weddings. I'd give at least 100 if it's just you attending. If you have a date, then 150+ at least. You're trying to cover the cost of your plate and give a little extra.

 

[tmhuggiebear]

Obviously, you give what you can afford. But I would say at least $50 is appropriate.

 

[SmileyNY]

Wishing Well or not, I always just give $150 check as a wedding gift. I always feel like wedding gifts are the most infamously unused, waisted, returned, under appreciated & duplicated gifts lol. So I'd rather the couple buy something they need or use the money to replace some of what they spent on the wedding. Plus, unless it's for me, I find shopping for household items is sooo boring

Now baby showers... that's a different story lol. I love shopping for babies.

 

[Syrah]

smart couple. Taking notes.

Word. Gift registries were purely a marketing idea. Most other cultures give money. And it makes sense - a new couple is trying to build a home together. Why not let them use the money how they see fit rather than a bunch of Crate & Barrel crap they really don't want.

 

[Jasmataz]

I would give at least $50, but ultimately I say just give whatever you can afford.

 

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

Culturally, all are weddings are "wishing well" weddings. I'd give at least 100 if it's just you attending. If you have a date, then 150+ at least. You're trying to cover the cost of your plate and give a little extra.

Cover the cost of your plate? To go to their wedding? *blink blink*

 

[tmhuggiebear]

Cover the cost of your plate? To go to their wedding? *blink blink*

LOL I'm assuming by the response you've never heard of this before. But it really is usually the rule of thumb when purchasing wedding gifts or giving money. So if suspect the couple spend about $65 for your plate you usually get a gift worth about $65 or give $65 cash. Obviously, there is no specific way to tell how much they spend on you unless you ask them. It's really just an estimate. That's why $50 to $100 is customary price range for gifts or cash.

ETA: If you want you can kind of think of it as being a reciprocal gesture or even as though it's a spending cap on a Secret Santa gift.

 

[naturalmanenyc]

In NYC most people give cash and try to cover their plates. That could be $75 per person and up depending on the venue and time of year.

For the last few NYC weddings we attended, we gave $200 checks.

One good friend paid $135 per person for her Manhattan wedding so we gave her more.

 

[Menina Preta]

Cover the cost of your plate? To go to their wedding? *blink blink*

Lol, yes! Receptions aren't cheap. The community should help the couple to cover the cost. To me, a wedding is not just about the couple inviting others to to share in their special day, but to be accepted into the community as a legally bound couple. It's reciprocal. I always give money, unless it's a destination wedding.

Most cultures give money. Americans seem to focus on store bought gifts, which doesnt seem as helpful as cash.

 

[Rsgal]

Like the other posters, I would cover the cost of my wedding plate. I was at a wedding yesterday and gave 100.00 because each plate was (plus tax and gratuity) was 75.00

This is a very common practice.

 

[MamaBear2012]

We got lot of wedding gifts, but some people gave us money (we didn't ask for it or specify that we wanted money anywhere on anything). The money ranged from $25-$150 per person/couple.

The last couple of weddings that I've attended have been an Indian couple and a Hispanic/Asian couple. The Indian couple got money (no gifts). They had enough to renovate their house and still have lots left over. The Hispanic/Asian couple got cash from the Asian side, and the Hispanic side pitched in on stuff for the wedding. From the venue, to the alcohol, the seating, the food, etc. It was all covered by the Hispanic side of the family/friends.

So, now I give money. I think it's more practical.

 

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

LOL I'm assuming by the response you've never heard of this before. But it really is usually the rule of thumb when purchasing wedding gifts or giving money. So if suspect the couple spend about $65 for your plate you usually get a gift worth about $65 or give $65 cash. Obviously, there is no specific way to tell how much they spend on you unless you ask them. It's really just an estimate. That's why $50 to $100 is customary price range for gifts or cash.

ETA: If you want you can kind of think of it as being a reciprocal gesture or even as though it's a spending cap on a Secret Santa gift.

Lol, yes! Receptions aren't cheap. The community should help the couple to cover the cost. To me, a wedding is not just about the couple inviting others to to share in their special day, but to be accepted into the community as a legally bound couple. It's reciprocal. I always give money, unless it's a destination wedding.

Most cultures give money. Americans seem to focus on store bought gifts, which doesnt seem as helpful as cash.

I'll be sure to invite you both to my wedding I guess my logic is that you give from your heart what you can. I can see your point though.

 

[jazzerz]

Thanks ladies. I had learned through my google search that it should be at least enough to cover the amount they spent on my (and my date's) plate.

I did read about a couple that asked specifically for money to fund their honeymoon and honeymoon activities. I thought this was interesting...

She's a good friend of mine and they are a fairly young couple. I think I've figured out a nice round number that I'm comfortable with.

 

[TayMac]

Culturally, all are weddings are "wishing well" weddings. I'd give at least 100 if it's just you attending. If you have a date, then 150+ at least. You're trying to cover the cost of your plate and give a little extra.

That would cover about 4 plates for the weddings I've attended outside of maybe 3 lol.

OP it would depend on the couple but I would give a min of $50.