Wedding in 5 and a half weeks; FI Unemployed=God's Will?

[LiftedUp]

I went to a retreat this year and was told something that I found was a "breakthrough". Usually, when you're going through a trial, you need to find out what is the lesson God is trying to show and teach you, acknowledge it and learn it quickly. The faster you do that, the faster things start to fall back into place.

There is a recurring trend in your posts, try to find it and everything else will fall into place.

All the best

 

[crazytrish75]

There is a recurring trend in your posts, try to find it and everything else will fall into place.

All the best

^^^^,

One major lesson I have learned, is that everything will work out ok in the end if you just trust in Him. It always does. Don't give up hope!

 

[JaneBond007]

When a wedding involves over 400 attendees, clearly funded by our families, one can't just change the wedding date because life starts going haywire, and the corporate world rears its ugly head. The show must go on. Its all made me question the idea of "God will come through for you." FI was perfectly employed and hardworking for most of our engagement, so its not like one can plan for layoffs/getting fired/whatever. The only thing I feel one can do is position themselves in stable fields that don't layoff people without blinking an eye. Not sure what path God plays in any of this, but it is what it is.

There are plenty of people who were gainfully employed but with wife and kids, their parents in their homes who needed care and they've lost their jobs. What goes on is faith. Nothing is promised to us but that G-d is with us. That means, He is with us when the going gets tough - not that He necessarily removes the problem.

Can he take a lesser position right now so that he still feels productive? And the healthcare field does lay off or, better terms, furlough its people. The only steady thing... is G-d. Don't give up. Don't give in to the perfect image. This is a test of your marriage.

 

[4HisGlory]

msdentist2015,

This is the time to hold strong to your faith not abandon it. It's easy to believe when life is going well or we only have to deal with minor hiccups. It's during times of trials that we get to demonstrate and prove the depths of our faith. Consider it pure joy whenever trouble comes your way. Not if, but when because we know that the testing of our faith produces perseverance. We are not promised to have a life full of roses. It just won't be, even if you follow every law. Salvation is our reward! It will never be here on earth.

My husband and I believe we did it right too. He earned his PhD debt free, me my masters. Got married then started having kids. I had 2 kids under 3 and he gets laid off from his job. He was out of work for 11 months. A Christian, active member of our church, hard working, dedicated husband, father and provider. He made it a top priority to find a job and he worked at it 12 hours a day for 11 long months. At one point he considered delivering pizzas at night or working at the gas station. We determined that it wouldn't be worth it financially. He would still make less than his unemployment check but I still had to fight him not to do it. He wanted to work just that bad.

I hated seeing the look of defeat in his eyes when I retuned home from work and he had no leads or gotten a rejection. I had many low points but I never gave up. Each time I felt those feelings creep in I went to scripture. (Matthew 6:25 - 27, 11:28 - 30). There were many days that I said the same passage every over and over all day long. I just had to keep repeating because life had me down. My emotions got the best of me several times but I had to strengthen myself so that I could be a cheerleader and pillar of support for my husband and a good mom to my girls. Only God could provide me with that strength because it was no where in me. Non-believers in my ear telling me to do things that were selfish but thankfully God also put people around me that could help hold me up literally and figuratively when I could not do it myself. They allowed me to cry my eyes out, prayed for me, listened to me, threatened to kick my butt, kept my kids for free. Whatever I needed.

In the end I found out that I was too controlling. Always trying to plan, control, and direct life. Even though it was my husband that lost his job I felt like it was my lesson. In the end I just heard God screaming, sit down somewhere child, you don't run nothing. I got this (life). 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Tell God what you are feeling. Tell him about your doubts. Surrender and ask him for strength to endure. I do not know the lesson that God has in store for you but I hope that you are encouraged.

Praying for you and FH.

 

[msdentist2015]

msdentist2015,

This is the time to hold strong to your faith not abandon it. It's easy to believe when life is going well or we only have to deal with minor hiccups. It's during times of trials that we get to demonstrate and prove the depths of our faith. Consider it pure joy whenever trouble comes your way. Not if, but when because we know that the testing of our faith produces perseverance. We are not promised to have a life full of roses. It just won't be, even if you follow every law. Salvation is our reward! It will never be here on earth.

My husband and I believe we did it right too. He earned his PhD debt free, me my masters. Got married then started having kids. I had 2 kids under 3 and he gets laid off from his job. He was out of work for 11 months. A Christian, active member of our church, hard working, dedicated husband, father and provider. He made it a top priority to find a job and he worked at it 12 hours a day for 11 long months. At one point he considered delivering pizzas at night or working at the gas station. We determined that it wouldn't be worth it financially. He would still make less than his unemployment check but I still had to fight him not to do it. He wanted to work just that bad.

I hated seeing the look of defeat in his eyes when I retuned home from work and he had no leads or gotten a rejection. I had many low points but I never gave up. Each time I felt those feelings creep in I went to scripture. (Matthew 6:25 - 27, 11:28 - 30). There were many days that I said the same passage every over and over all day long. I just had to keep repeating because life had me down. My emotions got the best of me several times but I had to strengthen myself so that I could be a cheerleader and pillar of support for my husband and a good mom to my girls. Only God could provide me with that strength because it was no where in me. Non-believers in my ear telling me to do things that were selfish but thankfully God also put people around me that could help hold me up literally and figuratively when I could not do it myself. They allowed me to cry my eyes out, prayed for me, listened to me, threatened to kick my butt, kept my kids for free. Whatever I needed.

In the end I found out that I was too controlling. Always trying to plan, control, and direct life. Even though it was my husband that lost his job I felt like it was my lesson. In the end I just heard God screaming, sit down somewhere child, you don't run nothing. I got this (life). 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Tell God what you are feeling. Tell him about your doubts. Surrender and ask him for strength to endure. I do not know the lesson that God has in store for you but I hope that you are encouraged.

Praying for you and FH.

I appreciate your words and testimony. I think its just been "hit after hit after hit" this year, and I'm almost numb to all the dissapointments, losses, and everything that didnt go right this year. FI lost his mother and lost his job all within a 6 month time frame. Not counting the multiple job rejections he has had to deal with. I don't see the favor or grace in any of that, I'm sorry. At least we are alive and healthy.
I understand not wanting to "control" everything, but I'm also someone who believes in taking action. I don't really see God as a magician anymore, who will just pop in and turn your situation around..not sure if that's how he really works. The Bible says he is no respecter of persons, sure. But I guess his ways are not our ways anyways. I 'm not sure if I expect God to make anything better or lift us out of uncomfortable situations, as much as I know I have to work hard to achieve what I want in life.
Someone had mentioned that people get laid off in healthcare as well, but everyone knows healthcare providers have some of the highest job security around. I would like to believe God will just bless everything and every path, and open up great opportunities, but sometimes I guess one has to be practical, use logic and work towards paths that are more guaranteed. I don't want my husband struggling, going through cyclical layoffs every 5 years and constantly stressed about money and providing, because he "believes God will make a way." I don't think that's the path God intends for us and our future family, if he has a particular path, that is.
My attitude these days is just "who knows". Everyone says the same encouraging words, "God is able", "He will do it, etc" I want to believe that, and hope he eventually does, whatever "It" actually is.