How long after a breakup do you start dating again?

[vestaluv1]

When I'm ready... it's not logical to put a time frame on it in my opinion.
I don't wait that long... .

 

[Vinyl]

I waited a month. Big mistake. Should've waited a lot longer. But if I wasn't dating someone else I'd be with my ex right now and most likely unhappy. erplexed

 

[Bunny77]

Well, I guess I can answer this cause I broke up with my BF of six months a few weeks ago. Sigh.

I went on a date a week later.

I don't regret going on the date and I plan to go on a lot more. But I'm not going to necessarily jump immediately into a relationship if I start really feeling one of these dudes that I'm dating.

Am I hurt? Yes. But since the relationship was somewhat short (although long for me), I can get past it. I am taking time out for me and time to regroup and assess and evaluate, which is why I'm not jumping to another "boyfriend," but I do feel emotionally able to handle dating.

Plus, I guess at this point, I'm like some of the other posters in not feeling a need to just waste time not dating when my strong desire is to once again be in a relationship. I don't need to jump into one tomorrow, mind you, but I don't necessarily see myself staying single for that long either.

But that's just what works best for me.

 

[NYLegalNewbie]

I have a general rule of thumb - about 1 week for every month that I was with him.

The reason? I strongly believe that whenever a relationship ends, you need to give yourself some amount of time to process what happened before jumping back out there. There are lots of feelings that come with a breakup - whether it was our decision or the guy's decision. Also, breakups often mean a major blow to the ego, depending upon the circumstances. If you don't sort out how you feel and get yourself and your confidence "right," then you're much more likely to end up with dating disappointments than dating success.

Of course, this isn't a hard and fast rule. And you never can tell when your opportunity presents itself. But even so, if only a small amount of time has passed since you broke up, it's best to start off slowly. Friends first if you can

 

[locabouthair]

I usually wait a long time but I take breakups kinda hard.

 

[rdotishot79]

You don't wait. You just go whenever the opportunity presents itself & wherever you feel like going. Whomever you feel like going with. You don't need a uniformed increment of approval to do your thing. IMO the sooner the better. Helps get your mind off of the ex and keeps you from sulking in the house by yourself on a Friday night. It's just dating. Keep it light.

Ditto Browndilocks!! You can NOT put a time constraint on your Happiness. If you feel it in your heart go for it. It's just DATING!! I just got out of a 2 yr relationship 5 mos ago and been dating the same guy for guess what?? 5 mos!! And when I tell you that was the best thing I could have ever done. That DISTRACTION was exactly what I needed and I just made sure going in it that this was NOT going to be a rebound guy and im taking it slow (i.e. 5 mos in and we're still dating).

 

[DaPPeR]

I start talking to someone new almost immediately to get my mind off my ex. This seems almost always work well.

 

[gn1g]

I start talking to someone new almost immediately to get my mind off my ex. This seems almost always work well.

IMO I think if you start talking to someone new too soon you transfer all of the good and bad luggage to the new relationship.

 

[CurliDiva]

I think it can be healthier to take some time out for YOU! I only date with the goal of it leading to a courtship, so if I just want to hang out and stay busy - I do that with my girlfriends.

 

[NCRapunzel]

Think of it this way...a relationship is something of a contract. You two agree to be exclusive and to build a future together, etc. Once the relationship ends, you're released from that contract. If you were let go from your job, would you wait an "acceptable" amount of time to seek another one? Absolutely not! Why? Because the job affords you certain luxuries in life that you will not have otherwise. So why date so soon? Because you like the feeling you get when someone's attention is focused on you and he hangs on your every word. Call it your dose of "feel good."

The last guy I saw seriously cheated on me so I only waited about 7-10 days before I was out there again. My reasoning was this: the relationship was over the moment he decided to be intimate with someone else--I just got the memo. So I allowed myself ONE day to grieve, yes, 24 hours, to let loose and cry my eyes out! Believe me, I watched the clock, too. And at the end of that time, I refused to shed another tear over someone who'd never actually been WITH me or something that was not meant for me. The ironic twist to the story was my first date was with a very nice man who I later discovered (about 3 month in) was my ex's friend!!! Who knew?! Although the friend was a nice guy, it didn't get too deep because he traveled frequently. But, I have to admit, it was nice to know that the totally innocent, unintentional jab was eating away at the ex. ;-)

Lesson learned: Never reserve any loyalties for a person who cannot be loyal to you.

 

[jwhitley6]

umm....15 minutes. Seriously though, I think dating immediately is fine...nothing wrong with having something to do and good conversation and companionship never hurt anybody.

When I broke up with my ex, my first date was two weeks later. I was just past the crying every time the wind blows phase (which my girls helped me through) when a really cute guy approached me in Starbucks. I had just worked out, so I was looking crazy and my skin was jacked up due to the recent relationship stress. It was nice to feel desired by such a charming gentleman. He wanted more than I was ready for, but the dates were great and much needed. So, I say dive right on in. Guard your heart, but have FUN!

 

[Dommo]

The next day

 

[Aviah]

You don't wait. You just go whenever the opportunity presents itself & wherever you feel like going. Whomever you feel like going with. You don't need a uniformed increment of approval to do your thing. IMO the sooner the better. Helps get your mind off of the ex and keeps you from sulking in the house by yourself on a Friday night. It's just dating. Keep it light.

However its good to keep in mind that you may/ probably will be vulnerable, and temptation to get on the rebound to forget about the past may start up. If you use dating as a way to temporarily take your mind off it it, i can become an 'escape' that you want more and more. Not to say you must sit and dwell on it but I do believe a time to heal and recover is definately in order... How long depends all on you.

 

[LivingDol1]

i posted other.

i don't really have a time frame. after my most recent ex, i started going on casual dates about a month after. prior to my most recent ex, i didn't date anyone for about 8 months after being in a 2 year relationship. even at that time, i didn't think i was going to meet anyone and i wasn't even looking for it.

 

[freshlikemoi]

Thanks.

I'm just saying...when do you ever hear a guy saying "How soon should I go out and have a good time? We just broke up 5 months ago". No - they're out with their boys, playin video games, drinkin beer and flirting with new chicks no sooner than END is pressed on his cell. If they're hurt and all of that, they think about that later when they don't have anything else to do. Why can't we do the same?

I am so with you on this!!!!!!!!

 

[HoneyDew]

right away for me.

life is too short (I will keep saying it)

after a breakup, who is trying to get too serious?

meanwhile, there are so many nice, smart, funny, witty men out here that would love to share a glass of wine with me and talk about anything interesting that comes to mine.

Meanwhile, I am not at home thinking about what I did wrong, what he did wrong, where he is, should I call........

 

[TCatt86]

Right after you have finished crying. However I was once asked on a date while I was crying. I don't think the guy could see I was crying. Like another poster said, men don't mope around they move on to the next we should do the same.