Dating - How long is long enough?

[meesch]

Re: the bolded... I've been in a similar situation, and as long as I have my wits about me, I'll never do that again. Too complicated and not worth the uncertainty.

Never? Too complicated? Yes I acknowledge that it is not an ideal situation, but what happened in your experience to think of it in such an extreme way? lol... I mean, for me mostly it's just uncomfortable/awkward waiting to have that conversation and having to have that conversation... but I don't think it's entirely a big deal.

What makes something official?

For me since I am not looking quite as far ahead as marriage just yet (at least not until I meet the guy I know will be my husband) making it "official" would be deciding to be/agreeing to be in a mutually monogamous, committed relationship.

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

There's no real "official rule" for becoming "official" Imo...HOWEVER..............

I think after about 3 months, things should start moving towards the "official" stage. IF you two are dating for 6+ months and he STILL hasn't made it "official" yet...then I think it's time to cut your losses or have "the talk" with him.

 

[CarLiTa]

Never? Too complicated? Yes I acknowledge that it is not an ideal situation, but what happened in your experience to think of it in such an extreme way? lol... I mean, for me mostly it's just uncomfortable/awkward waiting to have that conversation and having to have that conversation... but I don't think it's entirely a big deal.

Well, beyond the awkwardness and emotional discomfort, after a while of being officially official, the man confesses to NOT have kept his part of the exclusivity pact, contrary to what he would tell me... Supposedly thinking I wouldn't care, blah blah... And maybe soemthing about us not being in a relationship, so some things were acceptable... Something like that... I gladly do not remember anymore.

But, you know, wth, a pact is a pact is a pact. Mini/pseudo/botched commitments will not work for me in the future. You either commit, or you don't... And that commitment better be clear and air-tight. No room for misinterpretation.