I'm getting better at staying sane through breakups sad to say
Here are some of the day by day steps that helped me.
1/GOAL: I'm not sure if it's due to my age, but I'm distracted with a bigger life goal...to enjoy my life, travel, buy stuff, eat good food, help others when I retire and I can't wait for that to happen in 20+ years. In the scheme of life, the ME is so much more important so I have to plant those positive seeds NOW with or without someone by my side. It takes hard work and sacrifice every single day.
2/ LAZY: I enjoy NOT having to clean up the house cuz 'he's' coming over, if I didn't shower lol, having to cook or any other kot dang thing. It annoyed me to have 'pick something up for dinner' when those items were not included in my food budget LMAO. Petty, but that's how deep I'm into this budget thang.
3/ DO WHAT I WANT: Enjoy sleeping and vegging out in front of the TV without having to hear someone tell me I sleep too much or let's go out. I'm lazy and want to watch Love and Hip Hop, leave me alone.
4/ LEARN WHAT WORKS FOR YOU: I learned that cutting somebody off completely doesn't really work well for me. I do much better knowing that I can reach out to you if I want to. It's probably a longer way of healing but einh, it's less painful.
5/ STAY BUSY: Working a second job that requires me to be active, no time to think of the ex or the situation. I'd say the kind of busy activity you do matters, it can't be empty fun. I use to force myself to go parties/clubs and it just made me sadder, I'd miss the ex even more. A good drunken night memory fine but didn't really help in the long run. So, the kind of busy that works for me is one that is productive like working, volunteering and probably one that doesn't involve too many people, maybe even working with pets at a shelter. I HATED going to dinner with friends because I couldn't stay focused and was horrible company. I just wanted to be left alone.
6/ NO SEX WHEN I REALLY DIDN'T WANT TO DO IT: Don't have to open my darn legs when I don't want to even though it's been 2 weeks since I last gave it up. Or being diligent about going to pee right after when all I want to do is sleep, see number 3.
7/ STAY PHYSICALLY ACTIVE: I forced myself to go running. It's good for me so...einh.
8/ EAT: Forced myself to eat because I tend to not eat much when I have anxiety.
9/ REMEMBER ALL THE NOT SO GREAT THINGS: Listen to others who saw him more objectively. Fine...he has no money, he was corny, remember you said he had a small pee-wee? Just all the bad things I forgot about lol.
10/ KNOW THAT THERE'S ALWAYS SOMEONE DOING EVEN WORSE THAN YOU: Give others advice who were in even worse situations in life. Einh Schadenfreude *shrug*LOL
11/ DELETE DELETE DELETE: I deleted all the things that created a 'pang' in my heart. Seeing his name pop up on my phone every single time he called me
I deleted his name from my call log and changed his name in my contact to YDM (you deserve more). Eventually, I will delete the texts messages but I'm buying a new phone sooooo.....I can still keep them there if I want to go browse lol but my new phone will be clean.
12/ REMOVE ALL PERSONAL BELONGINGS FROM MY HOME: Not by meeting up either. Just give them away unless they are valuable. Sell them. I got some $ for a gold chain teehee.....
The con side:
I'm unsure if the kind of guy that I want exists. Or at least the kind of guy that won't awaken my paranoia since I struggle with believing that a man is willing to be with one woman for the rest of his life
So I kind of just feel more at peace without having to stress over existing or non-existing flags. I think I have flags in my head that just post up in there lol
Bottom line, the more you go through breakups, the easier it gets because the more perspective you gain along the way.
Hope these steps help you even if only a wee bit