How Do You Get Over A Heartbreak?

[NICOLETHENUMBERONE]

I joined this forum to just talk about hair but there's been something else weighing heavy on my mind. I'm not the type to usually feel so much pain over a man. I know that with time my heart will heal. It's just taking my heart longer to heal than expected. In my mind, I know the man isn't good for me. I don't want to go into details but he's manipulative and has issues. That's me putting it politely

I'm mad I missed all the warning signs. So many red flags but I made a ton of excuses for him. Let's just say I've learned my lesson. But why is my heart still acting stoooopid? My mind has picked up he's not worth my time or energy. Yet my heart still yearns for him? How can I help my heart catch up with my mind? It doesn't matter how many times I go over all his manipulative tactics, somehow my heart finds a way to pity the man. HELLO!! My heart needs to pity me But it's out here feeling sorry for the man that broke us! Do I have a stupid heart or something? Help me fix it or change it.

Ladies, share some wisdom with me please.

Well, seems like you let him in your heart. Then, if y'all had sex, then there's the other spiritual aspect of it too. I remember I was having trouble getting over someone over ten years ago...I prayed with my friend in order to break the soul tie. Next day, I woke up and haven't had a problem since. Mind you, I was trying all this other stuff and none of it worked.

 

[Prudent1]

@GrowthHairMindset ,
You have been given some excellent advice here. I would like to add do not rush the healing/learning process by starting another relationship because you're the "strong one", or you feel pressure to prove something to someone, or compete to show who moved on the quickest after the breakup or some other BC... those are all the actions of mentally and emotionally immature ppl. Learn your worth. In most cases it can take 6 months to a year before you can really mourn and gain insight on what happened. A lot of us form emotional, physical, or spiritual ties with the wrong men without properly vetting these dudes. Then it's so hard to separate ourselves. Remember, you don't owe anyone an explanation for what happened in your relationship. Think long and hard before you speak on it IRL. Stay balanced though. Talking can be good but you don't want to end up with a case of verbal diarrhea either. Sometimes ppl will try to use your pain to manipulate you (male and female acquaintances may do this for their own reasons). Last but not least, and this is sooo not a cliché..., there really are several men out there that will truly find you desirable. You need to work on your picker so that you will know who to let in your inner circle and who to tell to KIM. Befriend happily married couples of all ages. They can share some relationship wisdom too and it will be varied since they are all at different stages of life. Sending e-hugs!!

 

[GrowthHairMindset]

Thank you for all your advice! I'm completely - 100% - over this heartbreak. Through a lot of soul searching and researching, I realised that I was in a relationship with an NPD. I went through the idealisation and devaluing stage before putting an end to it. I knew it was the right thing to do (using my logic) but I did not want to let him go. I almost went back a few times. But after researching cluster b personalities and speaking with people who went through something similar, I realise that the best thing I ever did was get out

Thank you all for the lovely advice & I'm so glad to be over it. Definitely dodged a bullet there!

 

[sharifeh]

Focus on yourself. Go to the gym, get a manicure, change your hairstyle. Find a new hobby, study, travel.
Since I broke up with my ex, I have changed jobs twice for much better positions.
I have challenged myself to get at least one certificate per month on coursera.
My nails, skin, makeup and hair are always on point (wigs help lol).
I have made tons of new friends. I go out at least twice a week.
I have invested a lot on myself and on reaching my personal long term goals. Life goes on. HTH.

That's awesome! especially the coursera stuff!

 

[ksimmi82]

Hope this helps...it's a link to a video I did on my Youtube channel about getting through a break-up.