How do you get him out of your system?

[jeanghrey]

There's a guy at work I've been crushing on pretty hard since I've been there. We have cordial exchanges but nothing more than that to date. When I tell you I've wracked my brain and every lead possible trying to figure him out I'm not kidding (I've diagnosed him with everything from being gay to having asperger's to being married or off the market in some way) I now just attribute his mysteriousness to being an aquarius (once I learned this it all made sense). Now the irony is I've made a new years resolution to get over him and in a cruel twist of fate I see him all the time (before it was maybe 2-3x/week since we're in different departments) I've litetrally ran into him everyday this month; I mean it's like he's candyman in reverse (the minute I stop thinking of him he pops up in my face) it's driving me crazy!!!! How do you ladies handle getting over crushes like this? I need help bad.............

 

[Theo]

Aww... that's hard.

No advice really. I try to enjoy my crushes and have fun with them. Most of the time when you actually get to know the guy they end up being a loser anyway. Or maybe that's just me.

 

[CurlyNiquee]

There's a guy at work I've been crushing on pretty hard since I've been there. We have cordial exchanges but nothing more than that to date. When I tell you I've wracked my brain and every lead possible trying to figure him out I'm not kidding (I've diagnosed him with everything from being gay to having asperger's to being married or off the market in some way) I now just attribute his mysteriousness to being an aquarius (once I learned this it all made sense). Now the irony is I've made a new years resolution to get over him and in a cruel twist of fate I see him all the time (before it was maybe 2-3x/week since we're in different departments) I've litetrally ran into him everyday this month; I mean it's like he's candyman in reverse (the minute I stop thinking of him he pops up in my face) it's driving me crazy!!!! How do you ladies handle getting over crushes like this? I need help bad.............

In my experience only time can help you get over crushin on someone. You have to slowly psych yourself out, tell yourself you really don't like him because a, b or c reasons. Eventually little by little, you will stop. Good luck ( I know how it is ).

 

[RocStar]

The best way to get over a crush, is to find another crush.

Or better yet, find someone who is crushing on you.

 

[mallysmommy]

yep its all a mental thing, easier said than done yes trust me i know.

 

[ElizaBlue]

There's a guy at work I've been crushing on pretty hard since I've been there. We have cordial exchanges but nothing more than that to date. When I tell you I've wracked my brain and every lead possible trying to figure him out I'm not kidding (I've diagnosed him with everything from being gay to having asperger's to being married or off the market in some way) I now just attribute his mysteriousness to being an aquarius (once I learned this it all made sense). Now the irony is I've made a new years resolution to get over him and in a cruel twist of fate I see him all the time (before it was maybe 2-3x/week since we're in different departments) I've litetrally ran into him everyday this month; I mean it's like he's candyman in reverse (the minute I stop thinking of him he pops up in my face) it's driving me crazy!!!! How do you ladies handle getting over crushes like this? I need help bad.............

Or maybe....it's meant to be. Maybe he's making sure he's in your space. You are definitely practicing the Law of Attraction whether you know it or not, you are bringing him to you.

 

[PeaceFlow]

Burn Everything.

 

[Kindheart]

Aww... that's hard.

No advice really. I try to enjoy my crushes and have fun with them. Most of the time when you actually get to know the guy they end up being a loser anyway. Or maybe that's just me.

sooooo true

 

[Amerie2304]

Hi, @hopeful! I love your posts. Any advice for this thread? lol It puts me in mind of your post from the thread about staring:

And also even if he does have a good job and is a decent guy, if he doesn't want you what's the point in going on and on about what a great catch he is? A quality, awesome guy is the guy who also wants me, finds me to be attractive, is into me. I think women spend way to much energy on men who are unavailable or who don't want them.

I love your insight.

ETA: RegaLady I like your insight too.

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

There's a guy at work I've been crushing on pretty hard since I've been there. We have cordial exchanges but nothing more than that to date. When I tell you I've wracked my brain and every lead possible trying to figure him out I'm not kidding (I've diagnosed him with everything from being gay to having asperger's to being married or off the market in some way) I now just attribute his mysteriousness to being an aquarius (once I learned this it all made sense). Now the irony is I've made a new years resolution to get over him and in a cruel twist of fate I see him all the time (before it was maybe 2-3x/week since we're in different departments) I've litetrally ran into him everyday this month; I mean it's like he's candyman in reverse (the minute I stop thinking of him he pops up in my face) it's driving me crazy!!!! How do you ladies handle getting over crushes like this? I need help bad.............

Awwww.....girl, I know how it is.

Crushes can be hard. Been there, done that.

How long have you been working there/had the crush on him?

Some things that help me get over a crush:

-Imagine that he is TAKEN (ie. married, long-term relationship, etc.) to your BEST friend...or, your SISTER! This is a little trick that Nonie taught me, and I swear it works!

-Imagine that he's GAY... yes, that's right... Just imagine that he is! That may take away some of the "crush" feelings, and talking to him might be a little easier if you imagine that he likes his same gender

-Focus on his FAULTS. So many times when we crush on people, we only focus on their GOOD or physical attributes. Try focusing on the BAD lol. Does he walk w/a limp? Does he dress funny? Does he kill baby kittens in his spare time?

Lastly,

-Tell yourself: "This Too Shall Pass". Sometimes the more we try to NOT feel something, the MORE intense we feel it. Ykwim?? So, just tell yourself that you have a silly little crush on a co-worker, and that the feeling will pass eventually. Just don't dwell on it. Just shrug and keep it moving.

Either way, spending countless amount of time pinning after, analyzing and dissecting the behavior of a guy that you have a crush on is really futile and a HUGE waste of time. Trust me.... *speaking from first-hand experience here*

 

[hopeful]

Well the post you quoted says it all. You are wasting energy on someone who is not showing interest in you (so far at least). The point of my post was women need to not spend energy on a person who is not expressing or showing interest. So if your "ideal" guy has a certain look, personality, etc., that's fine but right up there with those things should be that he likes you and shows interest in you and is available. Otherwise there just is no point.

For example, a gf of mine who is married used to go on about MY husband to her husband, like oh Hopeful's dh got a promotion or he bought her this or that. Well of course her dh got fed up and she stopped. I recently told her why on earth would you spend that kind of energy on someone else's man? I told her I benefit from dh's position and I'm the one he loves. I was just like focus your energy on your dh, the father of your children, the guy who asked you to marry him. So what if my dh has some the "ideal" ish you like, it doesn't matter because he's taken...by ME. This example is extreme but my point is it is silly to pine for someone or put someone on a pedestal who is not checking for you. Maybe that will help if you think about it that way. Focus your energy on those who are focusing their energy on you. HTH.