How do you get a man to

[yokoyokogirl]

buy you presents? I got a nice handbag on my birthday, but that's it. He seems clueless to the whole presents or small gifts thing. I almost had to ask for flowers once! Granted he pays for all dates and picks me up and all. So maybe it's selfish but I would really like some flowers or some small gifts every once in a while...

 

[LadyPaniolo]

Men are either inclined to give you small gifts or they are not. Asking him might get him to begrudgingly give you gifts... for a while. But overall, you can't fight a man's inherent nature on this; not for long.

 

[Lenee925]

Hmm..my ex used to give me cash/gifts for birthdays and holidays and pay for 75% of our dates but he wasn't inclined to buy me flowers unless he freaked up or something. He felt he would look whipped if he did this. He was very immature...

 

[Bmack]

I would not bother. If its not broke don't try and fix it. He sounds like a cool dude. He does not sound cheap so....

 

[hopeful]

I didn't ask for certain gifts until I was married. DH was very pragmatic and would give me gifts like luggage or a dress for a specific event. Over time I encouraged him to give me more romantic gifts. I now always get the things girls like: flowers, jewelry etc. During the dating stage I wouldn't feel comfortable asking for flowers and the like.

 

[yokoyokogirl]

Ok thanks. I'm now thinking he might feel flowers are immature. (He had an argument with his mom and I said maybe u should buy her some flowers to apologize. He said that was tacky and equated it to when men cheat, then buy some flowers and think everythings ok.)

I guess I can't expect to push the envelope much, when he always pays for meals. Recently on a vacation (that he asked me to and planned), I thought I might have to pay for something, but I didn't. I treated him to the snacks and drinks at roadstops along the way.

I did cook lasagne for his bday and he hand wrote a thank u note...I guess I'm being a little selfish in the gifts dept.

 

[Filmatic]

Ok thanks. I'm now thinking he might feel flowers are immature. (He had an argument with his mom and I said maybe u should buy her some flowers to apologize. He said that was tacky and equated it to when men cheat, then buy some flowers and think everythings ok.)

I guess I can't expect to push the envelope much, when he always pays for meals. Recently on a vacation (that he asked me to and planned), I thought I might have to pay for something, but I didn't. I treated him to the snacks and drinks at roadstops along the way.

I did cook lasagne for his bday and he hand wrote a thank u note...I guess I'm being a little selfish in the gifts dept.

Wait he took you on a vacation, which he paid for and planned? Um what kind of gifts are you looking for? He may not be a flowers person but if you are you could mention how you love them or what your favs are, casually of course.

 

[Day36]

Girl, be grateful. So far, he sounds sincere and not a jerk. Perhaps, he is just taking things step by step? But, so far, I wouldnt worry if I were you. Shooot, you're getting vacations and being mentioned to his mother? Yeah, let things flow. Dont worry/over-think yet.

 

[FlowerHair]

All men aren't built like that, some are really clueless about those things.
If he's a caring and loving man overall and shows his love in other ways I wouldn't worry about it.

But when you've been together a little longer, there are many, many ways of getting him to buy stuff for you...

 

[princessnad]

I don't think you should push the issue.

But if you really want to try, just drop some hints.

"You know, small unexpected gifts are the best"

 

[Arcadian]

Some men just aren't into the whole "gift" thing. My husband told me he didn't buy gifts for women until he met me. I think I once told him how much I love so and so flowers and how so and so was really cute and on and on.

I never alluded to the fact he had to buy me those things, but it probably clicked in his head that if he got me xyz since I liked them, he'd get the good good, you know? I on the other hand was not romantic until I met him. It goes both ways.

It may just be something that happens in time. The vaca is nice thing...certainly I'd include that as a gift. Plus, I think that if he's more of a practical person in the gift department you may have to clue him in that you find certain types of unexpected things fun and romantic.

-A

 

[R4L]

Also - not everyone [some women included] likes flowers. For a long time flowers reminded me of funerals and death - to this day I can't stand carnations. I know some people prefer plants to flowers, b/c they last longer. You never know what his past experiences are, and this is an area where individual preferences vary. Some people would rather have lots of little trinkets instead of the vacation. You just need to let him know what type of chick YOU are without being demanding. Good Luck

 

[mrselle]

My honest opinion is that some men are not into that kind of stuff and if it is someone you are serious about you have to decide if this is a characteristic you can live with, are you open to discussing the issue with him or are you willing to throw the relationship away. I think a lot of it may stem from what the man saw growing up. My husband’s parents did not have a good marriage and I doubt he rarely, if ever, saw his father buy his mother gifts. His mother also isn’t someone who needs to have her gifts wrapped. You can present it to her in a plastic bag and she will be fine. With that said, my husband does know how to be romantic and he does wrap my gifts or he has them wrapped by the store. There have been times he has given me really nice gifts and there have been times he when he just slapped some money in my hand and told me to get whatever I want. This used to bother me a little, but then I realized that he is not someone who places a lot of emphasis on gifts and just because he may not spend thousands of dollars on me every birthday and Christmas doesn’t mean he doesn’t love me. He loves me, doesn’t cheat on me, is a wonderful father, doesn’t go clubbing, doesn’t hang out with the guys all the time, values spending time together as a family and he always puts me and the kids first. That means more to me than an expensive store bought gift….although it is nice to get a little something every now and again.

 

[Strangefruittree]

why dont you give him small gifts... teach him how you want to be treated