How do I make my hair softer?

[mischka]

I don't have a problem defining my curls at all. If I try the tightly curly method, I have pretty big sized curls - maybe pencil sized. The problem is my roots are pretty much an afro, and my hair dries stiff and rough feeling.

Now granted I tried a 15 minute bastardized version of tightly curly and didn't really pay attention to my roots at all. But in general my problem is when I wash my hair, it doesn't dry light and fluffy like it does after a salon visit.

I think it's the products I'm using that are affecting the way my strands feel. I shampoo with a baking soda/clarifying shampoo blend and leave in Aussie Moist.

What should I use to make my hair feel better?

Also as an aside, does anyone else have this issue where their strands define curls easily but the roots are a fro where it pretty much looks like thinner hair sticking out of bushy hair?

 

[darlingdiva]

Maybe you need to try using more moisturizing products.

A good deep conditioning session and a good moisturizer may help to soften your hair.

 

[lovenharmony]

Are you transitioning or stretching? Sometimes your hair will feel a bit drier during those stages. Are you deep conditioning? So many questions...I'll need a bit more info in order to truly help you.

From the bat, I think you should stop doing the Baking Soda / ACV clarifying shampoo method and use sulfate free shampoos until you get your dryness in check. Your hair's Ph balance might be off.

 

[Aviah]

I have pencil sized curls for the most part too, and curl definition and softness are almost mutually exclusive. There is one exception for me, Elasta QP Intense Conditioner, (Old formula) but it is discontinued... I'd like to know myself.

 

[mischka]

I'm fully natural and I don't deep condition because I don't have a bonnet dryer

 

[darlingdiva]

^You can put the deep conditioner on your hair and cover it with a shower cap or plastic bag or warm towel.

 

[LushLox]

I'm fully natural and I don't deep condition because I don't have a bonnet dryer

You can still deep condition, perhaps just do it for slightly longer, say an hour plus.

 

[mischka]

Can someone recommend me a good deep conditioner? I don't know what's up with my hair it doesn't feel particularly dry. It feels like hair. Just not soft hair

 

[mzteaze]

Based solely on your description, you should be looking for a moisturizing conditioner. Which we all could suggest our favs, you could do just as well looking at your choices. The best bets are conditioners with the words moisture or moisturizing in the name.

Also, you do not NEED a dryer to do the DC, just add more time, cover with a plastic cap or consider trying it overnight. Additionally, consider doing a few sessions of pre-poo using Chicoro's method. There is a thread with the recipe using aloe Vera and oils. That should help up the moisture in your hair.

 

[empressri]

Maybe your hair is like mine and doesnt like conditioners like aussie moist to be left in it. My hair LOOKED okay but felt dry when I left in the aussie. I was like okay....I tried the herbal essence the same way, and same thing.

However, if you want to use it up maybe try a little oil UNDERNEATH the conditioner. I did this with coconut oil and it was a huge difference. And it was the 5 min super bastardized version of what you do lol cause a sista was lazy.

Fyi, I did try it with the oil on top to see if it made a difference and yep it did, my hair felt icky.

 

[GoodMernin]

I'm fully natural and I don't deep condition because I don't have a bonnet dryer

You can try doing an over night deep condition where you just slather on the leave in conditioner, cover with a plastic cap, wrap with a cotton tee shirt, and wrap again with a scarf or knit winter hat (or both) and rinse in the morning.

Your body heat will help with the heat. It works wonders for my hair cause I do it weekly. I need it cause my 4B hair gets crunchy from thirst.

 

[prettyinpurple]

So are you airdrying at home and using heat to dry at the salon? If so, that's one good reason why your hair feels different at home vs salon.

Definitely agree that you need to stop clarifying so much.

I airdry with a leave-in AND a thicker moisturizer (Qhemet Amla and Olive Heavy Cream). I twist while my hair is slightly damp, and I end up with soft and moisturized hair. Airdrying with only a liquid product and in a fro would leave me with crispy, tangled hair.`

 

[Morenita]

What they all suggested, and especially empressri. When you said Aussie Moist and leave-in, first thing that popped into my mind was silicones. Maybe your hair doesn't play well with them. I've found that my hair is much happier with a modified CG method, i.e.. few silicones and low/no-poo. If you don't use products that cause a ton of build-up, you won't need to clarify as often. I've nixed beeswax and those other waxes for the same reason.

 

[empressri]

What they all suggested, and especially empressri. When you said Aussie Moist and leave-in, first thing that popped into my mind was silicones. Maybe your hair doesn't play well with them. I've found that my hair is much happier with a modified CG method, i.e.. few silicones and low/no-poo. If you don't use products that cause a ton of build-up, you won't need to clarify as often. I've nixed beeswax and those other waxes for the same reason.

yup! that's why the coconut oil works underneath for me, I guess it's a barrier between my hair and the cones? Maybe cause my hair doesn't come out feeling crunchy and I'd even tried that with pantene pro-v nature fusion? The thicker conditioner. I was actually surprised that it worked okay together. But if I tried to use that stuff alone? Noooo.

 

[Nonie]

Why are you adding baking soda to a clarifying shampoo?

I used baking soda ONCE in a moisturizing shampoo (CON shampoo) and it nearly killed my hair. First, the smell was similar to the one you get when you relax your hair. Scared the crap out of me making me rinse off in haste. I was left with a brush for hair. Hard, rough bristles that had a gray hue. That was the first and last time I used baking soda in my hair.

The reason I had added it to my shampoo was I had learned that BS (pun intended ) in shampoo would make the shampoo a clarifying shampoo. But I realized then I really didn't need a clarifying shampoo because I don't use products enough to have buildup. That might explain the smell I got coz nothing was there to be stripped.

What's more, baking soda opens up your hair cuticles which might not be such a bad thing if you want to deep condition since conditioner can penetrate strands...but you don't seem to close those cuticles thereafter so your hair stays porous. No wonder your hair gets dry right away because you leave the strands vulnerable to moisture loss.

An ACV rinse would fix the porosity issue. But like others have said, you don't need to clarify so much. It should be a once in a blue moon event, if at all.

 

[leiah]

I agree that silicones might be your problem. I was cowashing every day with aussie 3MM and thought it was doing what it was supposed to do, never had a problem with it. Then about a month ago I tried an Aubrey Organics conditioner and was amazed at how soft my hair was. After a few uses my hair was overconditioned for the first time in my life

 

[Nonie]

@mischka I noticed you said you don't deep condition because you don't have a bonnet dryer. I haven't used a dryer to deep condition in over 5 years and I still deep condition. AO GPB does not mention using heat in its DCing directions and so I don't. Emergencee says you may or may not use heat, so I don't.

If you prefer to use heat, you can get a soft bonnet attachment that is used with a handheld dryer or buy one of those soft-bonnet dryers--that's what I have.

 

[mischka]

Wow! So much good advice in this thread! Thanks! I'm going to try some of these out and report back... I think I'll find a sulfate free shampoo (have no idea what that is) and get the deep conditioner I think they used at the salon and see what happens first.

 

[ms-gg]

......................

 

[Nonie]

Maybe you just have wiry hair. I have wiry hair and it naturally feels rough.

ms-gg I would agree with this^^ if her hair always felt like that, but she said it doesn't feel like that after a salon visit, which points to the problem being her technique or products.

I can bet my bottom dollar, the biggest culprit is using clarifying shampoo (very alkaline) mixed with baking soda (very alkaline). The main thing alkaline products do on hair, besides strip it of all oils/products, is open up the strand cuticles. Open cuticles make rough strands that tangle easily. And as if that isn't bad enough, open cuticles also make hair porous. Porous hair cannot hold onto moisture and will give up moisture as fast as it will take it in.

I do not think silicones are her problem at all coz she sho makes sure to wash them off with her excessive clarifying. Cones are only the devil if you get buildup on dry hair so that yaour strand are not able to get internal moisture.

 

[LuluB]

I recommend using Fenugreek Seed Tea. Check Lady Aggie's fotki for directions. I usually just mixed boiled distilled water (maybe 1/4 with about 1 nice tsp of Fenugreek Seed powder and mix it with my ayurvedic powders, but you could probably add it to your shampoo or conditioner. After rinsing out my hair is silky and smooth as a baby's bottom. Plus it is so good for your hair growth.

 

[CORBINS]

Conditioner washing......no more shampoo.

I've been using this method on my 2 daughters who have 3b/c hair.
Before starting, their hair was a little crunchy and dry. I've been using conditioner to wash for about 2 months, and their hair is uber soft.

 

[Poohbear]

mischka,

I do not use baking soda, and I do not use clarifying shampoo. I think those two things are contributing to your hair dryness.

I also use Aussie Moist Conditioner as a leave-in sometimes, but I would recommend a conditioning treatment for you after using things like baking soda and/or clarifying shampoo.

I thought I didn't really need to condition my hair until I stopped denying the dryness I was feeling with my hair occasionally.

So one evening, I applied Lustrasilk Shea Butter Cholesterol Plus all over my hair as well as olive oil and castor oil afterwards and let it sit in my hair overnight. I rinsed it out in the morning and my hair felt so soft. I'm going to start doing this more often, maybe once a week to avoid dryness.

Hope that helps!

 

[Carisa]

mischka Here are a few answer to some of your questions:

Wow! So much good advice in this thread! Thanks! I'm going to try some of these out and report back... I think I'll find a sulfate free shampoo (have no idea what that is) and get the deep conditioner I think they used at the salon and see what happens first.

These are links that list sulfate free shampoos-

http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=514725&highlight=sulfate+free+shampoo

http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=529681&highlight=sulfate+free+shampoo

Can someone recommend me a good deep conditioner? I don't know what's up with my hair it doesn't feel particularly dry. It feels like hair. Just not soft hair

Also links to recommended moisturizing condtioners

http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=80532&highlight=moisturizing+conditioner

http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=529875&highlight=moisturizing+conditioner

http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=523985&highlight=moisturizing+conditioner

 

[mischka]

Hey guys. Just an update, I washed my hair last night with a regular shampoo and braided to air dry and it already feels softer. I'm working my way up to these other suggestions because I will need to buy some new products, which I haven't had time to do yet, but I still needed to wash my hair in the meantime. It feels better already.

 

[silkii_locks]

My grapeseed oil, steam towel treatments always make my hair super soft. I also highly recommend shescenti.com. The replenishing mask is one of my staples, gives me super soft, moisturized hair. And when conditioning anything longer than 20 mins can be considered a "deep condition" no dryer needed.

 

[Foxglove]

I vote deep condition more often