How Can I ever learn to love these naps?
- Thread starter roxydeegee
- Start date
Nonie
Well-Known Member
Napp are you serious? You don't think it suited her?
Imagine I absolutely love it on her. In fact, I can't imagine her looking better with any other hair. Maybe it's because it reminds me of so many women I looked up to and grew up around and gives her a motherly look. Even my mom has the short afro so that might explain the motherly association. It's the most "normal" look to me.
Imagine I absolutely love it on her. In fact, I can't imagine her looking better with any other hair. Maybe it's because it reminds me of so many women I looked up to and grew up around and gives her a motherly look. Even my mom has the short afro so that might explain the motherly association. It's the most "normal" look to me.
Nonie
Well-Known Member
It's frumpy. It's the Black ladies' version of "soccer mom" hair.
Really? Are you guys picturing a different do from the one I have in mind?
This is frumpy?
Napp
Ms. Nobody
Napp are you serious? You don't think it suited her?
Imagine I absolutely love it on her. In fact, I can't imagine her looking better with any other hair. Maybe it's because it reminds me of so many women I looked up to and grew up around and gives her a motherly look. Even my mom has the short afro so that might explain the motherly association. It's the most "normal" look to me.
i agree that it makes her look motherly. motherly ≠ sexy in my book. its right up there with the granny wig look for older black women imo...
Maybe Florida does have a mother look, and her hair does work for her. I dont know I dont mind her motherly look. She looks incredibly sweet and enduring and full of warmth and love.@Napp are you serious? You don't think it suited her?
Imagine I absolutely love it on her. In fact, I can't imagine her looking better with any other hair. Maybe it's because it reminds me of so many women I looked up to and grew up around and gives her a motherly look. Even my mom has the short afro so that might explain the motherly association. It's the most "normal" look to me.
Nonie
Well-Known Member
What style do you think she should've been sporting? Y'all have me intrigued now.
BTW, I'd sport this look in a heartbeat and I don't think I'd look frumpy. It's what my natural hair does and it never goes out of fashion in my book. So frumpy? Not to me. So when does an afro stop being frumpy? When it's a BAA or is that frumpy too? Is this frumpy? Or is it frumpy only if it's on a more mature woman. Just trying to follow when TWAs became "frumpy".
I'm so on a different wavelength from folks I'm beginning to see, and boy am I glad--coz I honestly don't care to look like everyone. (It's funny how excited I get when I find no one else is doing what I'm doing or planning to do. I love to be unique and different so I'm actually dying to undo my hair so I can rock this--Mwedzi can tell you that I think Bernie Mac's 'fro is da bomb and will never get with a funky fro--or as someone called it, broccoli do!)
I didn't know there were people who didn't like the dome afro. I remember folks asking me how I get my puffs to be so round or how my mom gets her afro to be round. This is fascinating to me.
So really, what style do you think would look good on Esther Rolle?
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Junebug D
Well-Known Member
Really? Are you guys picturing a different do from the one I have in mind?
This is frumpy?
Yes. It's a haircut that lacks edge, it lacks sex appeal, it's dated (for current times anyway), and it's gender-neutral. No edge, no sex appeal, dated, gender-neutral haircut = soccer mom hair.
Napp
Ms. Nobody
well i couldnt wear the hair style...i have tried in the past
i didnt say it looked awful or made her look bad. it fits her motherly character.some people can rock the look and be sexy...the majority cannot. and sex appeal is subjective anyway.
empressri
Well-Known Member
girl perception is everything cause i like that cut. and you got my girl masoesa up there, i LOVE her hair!
OP hang in there. You said the health of your hair is much better than it used to be so stick with it. Let it grow out a bit more, hell even the right haircut makes a WORLD of difference.
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Nonie
Well-Known Member
Ahh...I see. That explains it. I don't follow fashion or care what it's doing. I tend to keep to classic looks that never grow old in my book, like the Bernie Mac aka Florida Evans 'fro. That's probably why I never got with the chunky afro and why I'll never wear it (looks like uncombed/unkempt hair to me).
So out of curiosity, what are folks wearing in their TWA stage? Carl Lewis box cuts? Don King? I'm not being funny. I'm just wondering what is "current" for those who follow trends. Like if you were to have a TWA today Napp and Junebug, how would you wear your hair? Pics?
curlyninjagirl
New Member
Answer: Chunky fro/braidout with a flower in her hair! That's what would appeal to my tastes anyway.
OP, your hair is lovely! I hope you'll be able to see that one day. I don't know what your hair goals are, length? But I know, for me, the longer my hair gets, the more I love it....but I'm trying to have hair to the floor, soooo....
Nonie
Well-Known Member
well i couldnt wear the hair style...i have tried in the past
Thanks for taking the time to explain.
Napp
You said that it didn't suit her or give her sex appeal. Is there a style/look you think would have been better suited for her? Usually when we don't like something on someone, we usually have a better idea of what we would prefer. So what would you choose for her?
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Nonie
Well-Known Member
empressri, Masoesa looks gorgeous! I didn't even know whose image I was looking at on Google images and rather than link just to the pic w/o permission, I figured her website link would be more respectful. She has a larger version of Florida Evan's afro and I too think she's FIYAH!
Wait...
I wonder if this is a case of showing my age--turning into my Mom? You know how when you were young, you thought your folks were old fashioned? Maybe I'm just getting feedback from young uns whose idea of fashion is stuff that makes us older folks shake our heads disapprovingly.
Junebug D
Well-Known Member
I think it's fine and appropriate for her, especially at the time the show aired. No one said she should have been sporting a frohawk or a braidout.
But I can see why someone younger, right now in this day and age would not see it as dream hair. I don't consider this haircut to be a TWA; it's more of the in-between stage, probably falls between the ear and chin. A real Teeny Weeny Afro does have edge and is stylish once again. I haven't seen a lot of people at this length rocking a round or box-shaped fro. I've seen people at this stage wearing twists, puffs, twistouts, chunky fros. When my natural hair was this length, I was wearing twists and twistouts.
Every style doesn't suit everyone at every time. I'm not just picking on the Florida Evans; the hi-top fade was indeed a sin, and I do think some cornrowed styles just look plain weird, and I hate to see frohawks on dowdy chicks because that hairstyle begs you to have EDGE. Like someone said that about "the Cassie": you have to be on your game to rock the Cassie properly. I feel the same way about the frohawk.
empressri
Well-Known Member
empressri, Masoesa looks gorgeous! I didn't even know whose image I was looking at on Google images and rather than link just to the pic w/o permission, I figured her website link would be more respectful. She has a larger version of Florida Evan's afro and I too think she's FIYAH!
Wait...
Let me tell ya, she has the personality to match! We actually had a gathering a few years ago and she was there and we had a blast!
Girl..don't get me started. I tend to like classic things though, and I think that is a classic style. I don't care for many trendy things.
Napp
Ms. Nobody
I never said it didnt suit her. Its definetly not helping her sex appeal but then again she doesnt have much to begin with imo.It would be better with some more texture and a better shape.
Nonie
Well-Known Member
Napp, I beg your pardon but I always think that stuff that suits you and brings out the best in you enhances your sex appeal, hence my using the phrase "suit her". By the 'fro having more texture are you talking about it being more like the broccoli aka chunky fro instead of being smooth and completely round? And what would be a better shape if not round? Junebug has already said the box aka hi-top fade is a no-no. So what would be a good shape other than round? Pics perhaps?
Junebug D
Well-Known Member
A real BAA? I think those are niche and probably edgy right now. A lot of people aren't wearing them, but I don't think people would consider it frumpy just because long hair and big, voluminous hair are in style again. The mid-length afro isn't short enough to be daring, nor is it big enough to inspire awe.
Nonie
Well-Known Member
I see.
I sho do lead a simple life.
I'd get a headache if I were keeping track of what's in fashion and why. But I appreciate the enlightenment. At least now I won't be wondering if the world's gone mad when I see deviations from what I consider normal. I can sit and act like I am in the know of what they're up to and why. You should have a pin-up thread all your own or a blog on current hair trends. 
You could really help cut down on the "Are (insert style here) still in?" threads. And perhaps you could also help those who are frustrated like OP. Maybe she just needs to get "trendy" and get with the current program to feel good about herself? I know there are people like that, so your info could come in handy.I hope mid-length afros stay "dated" so I can be the only one sporting them.
appplecidder
New Member
roxydeegee
Member
THanks so much for all the thoughtful and advice. I was in a funk so deep you know about even trying the wash n go method for a full 7 days. I only made it to 2 days and i definitely realized that it was a NO GO. I appreciated the softness but the shrinkage took me back to 2002 BC length. My regimen during the Wash n Go experiment was to cowash daily with a moisturizing Suave/olive oil/castor oil, jojoba oil, apricot oil mix. Then i would use Kimmaytubes leave in conditioner that had KinkyKurlyNotToday, aloe juice, castor oil and jojoba. I would rub a teensy bit of shea on the ends, baggie it overnight.
Then the next day the whole thing over again.
My normal routine is cowash every 3 days, deep condition with a caramel treatment mix, then kimmaytube leave-in, twist/braid, roll on bone rollers (jheri curl rollers) and bonnet and do a braid out . Sometimes I will baggie once a week. If i felt myself dry, i would squirt a ceramide water mix (wheat germ oil, diluted moisturizing conditioner, Effusium). I am very happy with the braid out routine. I don't even sweat it.
But what i did sweat big time was when i skip the braid out, or was in between it all. Or had a sudden social event and i didn't have time to do a fresh braid/twist and roll. THen i'm like holy crap. Now what? I haven't donned a wig in 3 months.
After years of weaves and wigs, I really don't want to go back to them. I've always been a committed person and I like things easy. I am not feeling wigs now because i like touching my scalp too damn much and being able to scratch.
This rant was a direct result of trying to get on this wash and go bandwagon. I cant do every trend. And as far as Rudy Huxtable? Sheet, i never rolled like that. She's got a different type of hair. But when i mentioned her, it was a nod to that whole world of hair beauty that i had always been denied access to. It was speaking of a lifetime of being brainwashed that this was the ideal. It doesn't matter how old i am now. That sh*t is still up in the cranium. Its at the back of the problem with loving what the good Lawd put on my head. I am well aware when i look in the mirror, my hair will never be that ideal on the box of perm. I am just trying to get my head wrapped around that it will never be because now after a year of this, i know i have no where else to turn.
I have to keep on keeping on and accept my hair because its all i got. I have been learning to accept it, but when you try something like a wash and go and you suddenly see yourself looking less polished - like a female inmate at county jail - um you wouldn't be happy either.
that's all i'm saying. thanks again for having this forum to express the good the bad and the ugly ( and we all know i looked hurtin')
Then the next day the whole thing over again.
My normal routine is cowash every 3 days, deep condition with a caramel treatment mix, then kimmaytube leave-in, twist/braid, roll on bone rollers (jheri curl rollers) and bonnet and do a braid out . Sometimes I will baggie once a week. If i felt myself dry, i would squirt a ceramide water mix (wheat germ oil, diluted moisturizing conditioner, Effusium). I am very happy with the braid out routine. I don't even sweat it.
But what i did sweat big time was when i skip the braid out, or was in between it all. Or had a sudden social event and i didn't have time to do a fresh braid/twist and roll. THen i'm like holy crap. Now what? I haven't donned a wig in 3 months.
After years of weaves and wigs, I really don't want to go back to them. I've always been a committed person and I like things easy. I am not feeling wigs now because i like touching my scalp too damn much and being able to scratch.
This rant was a direct result of trying to get on this wash and go bandwagon. I cant do every trend. And as far as Rudy Huxtable? Sheet, i never rolled like that. She's got a different type of hair. But when i mentioned her, it was a nod to that whole world of hair beauty that i had always been denied access to. It was speaking of a lifetime of being brainwashed that this was the ideal. It doesn't matter how old i am now. That sh*t is still up in the cranium. Its at the back of the problem with loving what the good Lawd put on my head. I am well aware when i look in the mirror, my hair will never be that ideal on the box of perm. I am just trying to get my head wrapped around that it will never be because now after a year of this, i know i have no where else to turn.
I have to keep on keeping on and accept my hair because its all i got. I have been learning to accept it, but when you try something like a wash and go and you suddenly see yourself looking less polished - like a female inmate at county jail - um you wouldn't be happy either.
that's all i'm saying. thanks again for having this forum to express the good the bad and the ugly ( and we all know i looked hurtin')
roxydeegee
Member
oh and by the way, this is how it looks in a braid out
https://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/0VJkxjXQLnu3_8J5gGjKoR3H_7l_QpOLpcqx-02lKnk?feat=directlink
mo betta huh? wash n gos, hell no, i won't do that to myself ever again.
https://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/0VJkxjXQLnu3_8J5gGjKoR3H_7l_QpOLpcqx-02lKnk?feat=directlink
mo betta huh? wash n gos, hell no, i won't do that to myself ever again.
Nonie
Well-Known Member
roxydeegee, I also found WNGs looked ugly so we're on the same page there. However, I'm not a fan of the braid-out as much as I am of the afro puff. I would take your first pic in this thread over the braid-out believe it or not. The only thing I might do is pat it down so it's not looking Don-King-ish. I don't know if that was your WNG (sorry, my mind doesn't retain stuff for long so I don't remember what I read) but a little pin or flower would've made you look darling, or just pushing it back into a pushed back puff.
But if braid-outs are what make you feel beautiful, there's no reason why you can't wear them every day. To avoid tangles, I'd braid the hair every night, then baggy to retain moisture. In the AM, undo with fingers and enjoy. Also what I find makes braid-outs look perfect is if all the braids are more of less the same size so there's uniformity. Otherwise it just looks like Celie forgot to comb her hair after getting out of bed and undoing her braids. If you braid your hair every night, then there'll never be a day when you're panicking without an idea of what to do with your hair. I think one of the best examples of how size uniformity of the pre-out style is important was shown by keepithealthy. Her twist-out was so uniform and beautiful because she started off with twists that were all the same size. That gave waves that look the same throughout. Also making them small avoids the ugly gaps that make me think Celie lost her comb. Here's keepithealthy's beautiful -out style that I just mentioned: http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=538907
I was excited to see pookaloo83 twists her hair nightly. I remember the day I found out some Type 4 naturals go to bed with loose hair, I felt woozy. No wonder they spend hours detangling their hair.
In all my life, I'd never heard of such daredevil behavior.
But if braid-outs are what make you feel beautiful, there's no reason why you can't wear them every day. To avoid tangles, I'd braid the hair every night, then baggy to retain moisture. In the AM, undo with fingers and enjoy. Also what I find makes braid-outs look perfect is if all the braids are more of less the same size so there's uniformity. Otherwise it just looks like Celie forgot to comb her hair after getting out of bed and undoing her braids. If you braid your hair every night, then there'll never be a day when you're panicking without an idea of what to do with your hair. I think one of the best examples of how size uniformity of the pre-out style is important was shown by keepithealthy. Her twist-out was so uniform and beautiful because she started off with twists that were all the same size. That gave waves that look the same throughout. Also making them small avoids the ugly gaps that make me think Celie lost her comb. Here's keepithealthy's beautiful -out style that I just mentioned: http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=538907
I was excited to see pookaloo83 twists her hair nightly. I remember the day I found out some Type 4 naturals go to bed with loose hair, I felt woozy. No wonder they spend hours detangling their hair.
In all my life, I'd never heard of such daredevil behavior. 
NefertariBlu
Well-Known Member
Roxydeegee, your hair looks pretty in that picture. I have similar hair type to yours but mines never came out good with a twist or braid out. So your hair does something mines cant
Twists don't look right either, so I stick to styles that work for me. I have been natural for 10 years now and I am still learning things about my hair. That is why it is called a journey, routines change, products change, mindset change.
whenever I get frustrated, I braid it up so I can't see it.
Honestly, I can't understand 4b hair type is the type most don't like or the type that doesn't get the adoration like the others unless it is really long.
I don't get caught up in trying to define my "curls" I don't have any so why should I bother, same with wash and go's. I can't wash my hair too often as it gets brittle and dry after one wash, so those are out for me also.
I don't use gel because I can't be bothered, if I want my hair to stay down then I dampen it and tie it down.
through your journey, you will understand what will and won't work for you. It takes time but one day everything will fall into place and you'll look back and think what was frustrated about? We all have bad hair days, we all get frustrated so your not alone.
Getting caught up in fads and bangwagons are part of the journey for some, I went on a few myself until I realised that certain things would just not work for me, just took me a little time and my hard earned cash to figure that one out.
Great advice, I have received from hair boards was, once you stop doing what you hair doesn't want and can't do, and you start doing things your hair likes everything will make a lot more sense and this is when I started accepting and loving my hair.
Twists don't look right either, so I stick to styles that work for me. I have been natural for 10 years now and I am still learning things about my hair. That is why it is called a journey, routines change, products change, mindset change.
whenever I get frustrated, I braid it up so I can't see it.
Honestly, I can't understand 4b hair type is the type most don't like or the type that doesn't get the adoration like the others unless it is really long.
I don't get caught up in trying to define my "curls" I don't have any so why should I bother, same with wash and go's. I can't wash my hair too often as it gets brittle and dry after one wash, so those are out for me also.
I don't use gel because I can't be bothered, if I want my hair to stay down then I dampen it and tie it down.
through your journey, you will understand what will and won't work for you. It takes time but one day everything will fall into place and you'll look back and think what was frustrated about? We all have bad hair days, we all get frustrated so your not alone.
Getting caught up in fads and bangwagons are part of the journey for some, I went on a few myself until I realised that certain things would just not work for me, just took me a little time and my hard earned cash to figure that one out.
Great advice, I have received from hair boards was, once you stop doing what you hair doesn't want and can't do, and you start doing things your hair likes everything will make a lot more sense and this is when I started accepting and loving my hair.
Napp
Ms. Nobody
a shorter more textured afro(brocolli fro
) with a taper in the backwould be more stylish. maybe some color too
BraunSugar
New Member
@Napp are you serious? You don't think it suited her?
Imagine I absolutely love it on her. In fact, I can't imagine her looking better with any other hair. Maybe it's because it reminds me of so many women I looked up to and grew up around and gives her a motherly look. Even my mom has the short afro so that might explain the motherly association. It's the most "normal" look to me.
Yes it did suit her. LOL! I agree with you also that I couldn't see her with any other hair style, but to me it does look like a style for an older woman. Like a much older woman. Both my grandmothers are/were natural, & my one granny (God rest her soul) had a fro similar to this one for the last few years of her life. I thought it suited her well. She was in her 70s.
Also, the shape of this fro is a little boxy. It reminds me of the fro Frank Campbell had from the show Moesha.
I can dig why somebody today might not be going for a look like this one. Maybe there is a way to update it? I have no idea.
nappystorm
Well-Known Member
Ahhh!!! The Florida Evans fro. Memories, memories...
BostonMaria
Well-Known Member
OP, I BC'd in my late 30's and I feel your pain. I am now 40 and almost 4 yrs after my BC I'm still trying to figure out my hair. One thing I've learned along the way that YT tutorials and blogs are nice, but nobody knows my hair better than I do. My natural hair does what it wants and as far as wash and go's, for every 10 I do maybe 2 come out nice. MAYBE! Its not even about technique, it has also has to do with the weather and if my hair just feels like being nice that day.
Its too bad that most of us older ladies waited so long to go natural because we got so used to having relaxed hair for soooo long that now dealing with our natural hair seems so foreign. I can tell you that it does get better with time. Just take a deep breath!
BTW stop trying to fix whatever it is your hair can't do and try to work with what it CAN DO. I have ALOT of hair and its thick and dry, to top it off its also long. Sometimes honestly I just don't want to deal with it so I put some rollers in it and straighten it. After a week I'm ready to love my natural hair again LOL You're not limited to one style, our hair is very versatile (and I do realize we don't have the same texture, but I'm talking in general) and we can create all kinds of style.
One last thing - be careful with the swears. People have been banned in these here parts for that. Would hate to see you banned for something so minor.
Good luck!
Its too bad that most of us older ladies waited so long to go natural because we got so used to having relaxed hair for soooo long that now dealing with our natural hair seems so foreign. I can tell you that it does get better with time. Just take a deep breath!
BTW stop trying to fix whatever it is your hair can't do and try to work with what it CAN DO. I have ALOT of hair and its thick and dry, to top it off its also long. Sometimes honestly I just don't want to deal with it so I put some rollers in it and straighten it. After a week I'm ready to love my natural hair again LOL You're not limited to one style, our hair is very versatile (and I do realize we don't have the same texture, but I'm talking in general) and we can create all kinds of style.
One last thing - be careful with the swears. People have been banned in these here parts for that. Would hate to see you banned for something so minor.
Good luck!
BostonMaria
Well-Known Member
I wonder if people would've liked her hair if the whole picture was different. Maybe if she were thin and dressed different. I loved Florida Evans! She was a strong black female character, something that lacks in today's tv shows.
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