His first point of contact was via text message

[nappystorm]

Don't get me wrong. I am a texting queen (a nasty little habit I picked up from my Atl friends) but I realize texting is a weapon of mass destruction in dating.

I responded to maybe 2 of them and stopped.

Today we did chat a bit via phone, though.

Call me a hypocrite but this is a bit of a turn off. Normally, I would have a convo ("Well, I don't really text that much"...)and going from there, but on the other hand a GAM should know better.

What do you think?

 

[Ms Red]

I think if you like him, drop a hint. What the heck.

Hopefully he picks up on it and begins calling.

 

[Helpmeblongagain]

UGH! I hate when men text me...Im not sure what I think...it can b so many things...just wait n c if he calls...if not...he prob has some baggage or just wants to "kick it"

 

[Sosoothing]

This was a problem for me a while back with a guy I liked. Texting is too impersonal for me so I don't prefer it as a primary method of communication with someone I am seeing. We would talk once every few days but he would text me constantly during the day, every day.

Tell him how you feel. If he cares, he will make an effort to call more.

 

[CinnaMocha]

When I was a texter, at first I was into texting a guy I was talking to, but then I started feeling like something is not to kosher about this. Especially when you find yourself cancelling via text and not making time to call and have an actual conversation...Thought is was another form of communication then, don't like it now won't even consider it as a start with a guy should I find myself in the dating scene again...

 

[Demi27]

I did a lot of texting in one of my relationships. Looking back now, it was very impersonal and allowed the person to not get to close to me (same for me).

I think you did the right thing by not continuing it. I would let him know straight out that you're not really into it and see what he does after that.

 

[Filmatic]

I had a dude close to 40 trying to text me all the time. You can't get to know someone over a text. People want a life story in 160 characters. Tell him straight. If he continues drop him.

 

[Nayna]

Yea, even chronic texters should know not to start off like that. My SO is a chronic texter but when we first started talking he called me a lot; then when we got comfy he transitioned on me, lol. I say start calling him as well so that he can see that you aren't trying to have that type of situation.

 

[MrsAriannaAmbers]

hmm...well ya'll know men aren't talkers in the first place...babay...if they can text and not talk...I think that they would...and this texting generation is not helping any...aren't they starting to have Text English classes?!

Anyways...IMO..."breaking the ice" via text is cool...its when your constantly texting and I hear no vocals that I'm and gonna feel like your hiding something...but also men don't read minds...if you don't like it and ya'll talked on the phone...let him know...I prefer to speak on the phone to you to get to know you instead of via text because its impersonal to me...if he's interested that man will do what you ask just to get to know you...because keep in mind the female/ex/exwife before you may not have cared less about texting and has been conditioned to think its ok...

 

[Zaynab]

Luckily I married years before the texting era but I hear this from some of the single ladies, men that only text, or make initial contact via text.

I'm like huh? Can't even get a phone call these days? Men have put the threshold so low now, well women have I suspose. THere are apparently women that accept this because men are just throwing that low ball mess out there. I told this young lady who asked me about it, I wouldn't respond to a text. I would just simply say I don't want to date/get to know each other via text.

 

[Bunny77]

Luckily I married years before the texting era but I hear this from some of the single ladies, men that only text, or make initial contact via text.

I'm like huh? Can't even get a phone call these days? Men have put the threshold so low now, well women have I suspose. THere are apparently women that accept this because men are just throwing that low ball mess out there. I told this young lady who asked me about it, I wouldn't respond to a text. I would just simply say I don't want to date/get to know each other via text.

I don't know how old the OP is, but what REALLY kills me is men in their 30s or over doing this mess. I "almost" excuse the young boys because they grew up like this, but older men know dayum well how to pick up a phone and call somebody because they had to do it for the majority of their lives.

When I've called out some of them for this, they were like, "Well, I didn't know if you liked phone calls or not." I said, "You never asked, but now you know that I don't correspond by text." They'll say okay, and then never call. Oh well, good riddance.

Some of these dudes are divorced (meaning that they pursued and courted a woman by PHONE and actual in-person dates enough for her to want to marry them), so when they pull that text crap on me, I KNOW they're lazy.

One dating guru suggests women saying either what you suggested or take it to another level and say, "I don't have text messaging on my phone." Even if they do. That way, they shouldn't even try... women have to take the initiative on this one, unfortunately, and nip this mess in the bud before it starts.

Because men will take easiest way to the drawls if they can...

 

[nappystorm]

I'm 27 and think he is early 30s (I forgot).

I will go ahead and tell him and see where it goes. Thanks ladies

 

[kandake]

I don't mind the first point of contact being text. I think sometimes its used a gauge or to test the waters. Its whatever to me... I don't care.

HOWEVER, after that... you need to call me so that we can get to know one another. If you're calling me regularly I don't mind texts throughout the work day or what have you (actually I welcome it).

I'm a big texter and not really a phone person. The only time I talk on the phone is with my mom and granddad. With friends its only to make plans to do something. I can't get around it with someone I'm dating so I have to deal with it.

Actually I'm getting to know someone now and I actually enjoy talking on the phone to him... sorry I digress

 

[Duchesse]

Honestly, I would be shocked as all get out if my first contact with a guy wasn't a text.

 

[MizAvalon]

This happened to me a few months ago. I met a guy on a dating website. He seemed okay and like someone I wanted to get to know better so I gave him my number so he could call me. He proceeded to text me and nothing else. I responded to the first few out of politeness but then I stopped all communication.

He continued to text me for about a month afterwards with zero response from me.erplexed

I don't do excessive texting. I give you my phone number so that you can CALL me. If you can't do that, don't contact me at all. How the hell am I going to get to know you through text messages? Grow up.

 

[MizAvalon]

Good suggestion Bunny. I think I might just start telling those jokers that I can't even receive texts!

 

[Almaz]

What ever happened to a good old fashioned phone call

 

[asubeauty]

I'm so feeling you on this one. You can't really get to know people via text messaging. I try to drop hints but if he doesn't get it...

 

[phillycocogirl]

I think I heard somewhere that texting is the new booty call. So if all of your communication is thru texting then they may not be interested in getting to know u in the first place. Those would be the type of guys I would steer clear of.

 

[inthepink]

This is an interesting thread! Amazing how this little thing called technology interferes with dating!

For an initial point of contact if I have provided my phone number to a guy, I would expect that he would actually call me. Besides, how does he know whether I provided my cell phone or home phone? I would be put off if his first contact was a text message.

I would not like an ongoing text conversation at all. I don't even like this with friends so I really would not like it with a dating partner.