He's Not That Into You If He's Not Calling You
- Thread starter LoveisYou
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cheetarah1980
Well-Known Member
Stop answering his texts and see if he reaches out to you another way (preferably calling). That'll give you your answer.
MD_Lady
Well-Known Member
I don't believe in texting as a substitute for phone conversations so I'd tell him to call me. There are a lot of people, however, who don't like to talk on the phone and prefer texting. Does he fall into this category? Do you have an issue with him not calling you and, if so, have you said something to him about it?
Bunny77
New Member
Definitely stop texting and see what happens! I also did what MD Lady suggested once with the conversation thing and he still kept texting. That gave me my answer.
I agree with the general sentiment though... I'm not saying that a man has to be on the phone with me all night (or even that long), but I take it that if he's not calling, he's not that into me. Men had to communicate by phone not that long ago or they just wouldn't be able to talk to a woman. Texting does not replace calling, as far as I'm concerned.
I agree with the general sentiment though... I'm not saying that a man has to be on the phone with me all night (or even that long), but I take it that if he's not calling, he's not that into me. Men had to communicate by phone not that long ago or they just wouldn't be able to talk to a woman. Texting does not replace calling, as far as I'm concerned.
Poohbear
Fearfully Wonderfully Made
locabouthair
Well-Known Member
BroadstreetBully
New Member
So is he texting you to ask you out on dates? How long have you two been 'dating'.
I actually wouldn't say KIM as in stop dating him.
You two are just dating, and he's probably seeing other people. If you were seeing other guys, I would tell you to place him at the end of the line and stop texting him. If he's the only guy you're dating, I can see how you might spend a little more time than necessary wondering why he isn't calling.
I say this because in the past I dealt with this, and I would jump the gun and just cut a guy off when we were only dating. Looking back I should have just taken it for what it was. Dating. I would have also dated multiple guys and just given first priority to the guys who kept in constant contact with me. In that case, if a guy wasn't calling, I wouldn't have time to think about it because I'd be preoccupied with others. When he finally decides to call and place his bid in, we can go out.
I actually wouldn't say KIM as in stop dating him.
You two are just dating, and he's probably seeing other people. If you were seeing other guys, I would tell you to place him at the end of the line and stop texting him. If he's the only guy you're dating, I can see how you might spend a little more time than necessary wondering why he isn't calling.
I say this because in the past I dealt with this, and I would jump the gun and just cut a guy off when we were only dating. Looking back I should have just taken it for what it was. Dating. I would have also dated multiple guys and just given first priority to the guys who kept in constant contact with me. In that case, if a guy wasn't calling, I wouldn't have time to think about it because I'd be preoccupied with others. When he finally decides to call and place his bid in, we can go out.
cheetarah1980
Well-Known Member
Not to negate your opinion, but from personal experience and the experiences of most of my friends telling a man that you prefer to be called usually doesn't achieve the desired result. He will probably call once or twice then go right back to texting.
Men tend to respond to actions moreso than words. When a man wants to get in touch with a woman he will. We've all been in the situation where a man has left 2 voicemails, 3 texts, and an email when we haven't gotten back to him within 24 hours. If this guy really wants to get in touch with her no response to his texts will make him use another method to reach her. In time he will realize that he's successful at accomplishing that task when he calls and unsuccessful when he texts so he'll stick to dialing her number.
Glib Gurl
Well-Known Member
I agree with the above post . . . plus some folks aren't "phone" people, y'know? Me personally, I prefer email to the phone . . . but I'm in the minority on that so . . . *shrug* Also, do you get the impression that your guy is shy or otherwise isn't much of a talker? That's what I've found with Dutch Chocolate. (Check my blogs if you don't know who/what I'm talking about
) He is gaga over me, but is a very quiet guy . . . so we mostly talk on the phone to translate information, not to just gab. I'm still deciding if his quiet nature is a dealbreaker for me.Yep
gabulldawg
Well-Known Member
I don't agree with that sentiment. My now DH hardly ever called me. And I never called him. We texted a lot (and still do) while we were dating. It was just our "thing." Neither one of us are big phone talkers. We can literally go days without talking on the phone to anyone.
It didn't bother me that we hardly ever talked on the phone. There was a point where I got a little concerned, but I realized that it wasn't because it actually bothered me, but because it bothered other people. But then I became confident in the fact that everyone doesn't have to like what goes on in OUR relationship.
I preferred texting over talking. However, I do think things would have worked out differently if he didn't put in his time like he did. He made it clear that he was interested in me through his actions. Once we started getting serious we would see each other at least 3-4 times a week, and often more than that. If we were only seeing each other occasionally then texting would not have been as acceptable IMO...
Glib Gurl
Well-Known Member
And that's the kicker . . . a dude can be calling and texting you all day and night . . . along with several other girls. But what does your GUT tell you about how he feels about you?
well since yesterday I stopped responding to texts, I've gotten three phone calls since and I didn't have to say anything, lol, first I got an FB message asking if my phone was broken, I ignored that message and then the phone calls started.
Gosh I wish I knew it was that easy before
Gosh I wish I knew it was that easy before
cheetarah1980
Well-Known Member
Yay! I'm so glad he called within 24 hours. See you got your answer right there. He's into you enough to try a bit harder when the first method of reaching you doesn't work.
Because you even posted this question I get the feeling that all of the texting was NOT okay with you. It's great that he's started calling, now the key is to keep him calling. If you go back to answering his texts then he'll go right back to texting you and not calling. Keep doing what you're doing and that man will continue to call because he will soon realize that it's the only way to ensure he reaches you.
nathansgirl1908
Well-Known Member
Yay. Glad he called.
I will say that I don't always think it means he's not that into you.
I'm not a big phone person. There was a guy I REALLY liked, but I didn't want to talk much on the phone, I preferred texting. I LOVE texting. So I think people should take into account the personality traits of the person they are dealing with before saying he isn't that into you.
I will say that I don't always think it means he's not that into you.
I'm not a big phone person. There was a guy I REALLY liked, but I didn't want to talk much on the phone, I preferred texting. I LOVE texting. So I think people should take into account the personality traits of the person they are dealing with before saying he isn't that into you.
brownelovely
Well-Known Member
I wouldn't KIM just yet but definitely stop responding to the texts. What did people do before texting....THEY PICKED UP THE PHONE!!! So, there you have it. I don't ever go for the "I don't like to be on the phone" excuse. If you want to get to know someone, ask them out properly, or see how they're doing....pick up the phone. Then if there's no reply...text.
I'm tired of this "texting" being a formal way of communicating while trying to date. It can be misleading as well. I would let him know I like phone conversations and go from there. If he's not willing to talk on the phone then there's your answer. Texting is and should not be this dang serious that he can't call.
I'm tired of this "texting" being a formal way of communicating while trying to date. It can be misleading as well. I would let him know I like phone conversations and go from there. If he's not willing to talk on the phone then there's your answer. Texting is and should not be this dang serious that he can't call.
cheetarah1980
Well-Known Member
I've always said that when it comes to dating it's best for a man to take the conservative approach until he's told otherwise. This means doing things the "old-fashioned" way: calling, reserving sexual talk for later conversations (I once had a man use the words penis and vagina when breaking down male/female relationships on our very first date), planning dates, etc. If the woman wants to play by a different set of rules she often shows this through her actions pretty quickly (e.g. returning his voicemail by texting, asking him out for a specific date and time). Too many men nowadays want to take shortcuts from the jump and it's oftentimes not because they aren't interested but that they don't even know HOW to formally woo a woman. That's why women need to teach men how we want to be treated. OP, you did this perfectly by not replying to the text. From what I can tell you and this man are NOT in an exclusive relationship. In my experiences, telling a man who isn't my man that I want him to do X,Y, or Z instead of A, B, and C only yields temporary behavior modification at best, especially if I still accept or have been accepting A, B, and C actions. Men respond more to what we do vs. what we say so not answering his texts got the OP's message across loud and clear without her having to say a word.
brownelovely
Well-Known Member
Yes......very well said. I remember a guy I dated told me that I wasn't "agressive" enough with him and let him know what I expected from him. He said that's why he did what he did. 
erplexed Didn't fall for that being the excuse for him being a cheater but I did get where he was coming from as far as being upfront about wanting to be serious even though I thought we were.Lovelylife
New Member
I just think that it's important to connect through conversation if you both are newly dating. You don't want tidbits of his personality through random texts. You also want him to invest time in you.
I think the texting would be fine if you knew him before the dating as friends. Now it's a bit risky.
I think the texting would be fine if you knew him before the dating as friends. Now it's a bit risky.
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