He's Having A Baby With His New Girlfriend!

I understand how you feel. After being lied to, cheated on and beat on, even though I "thought" I was over my ex when we broke up, I was completely devastated when I found out that he was back with his child's mother....like how dare you be "happy'" and content with your life while I'm still in the corner licking my physical and emotional wounds from the damage you inflicted upon me? That was 3 months ago and I still get sad about it. Baby's mama don't go away no matter how much you think they will, and the fact that he was back with her not even a month after we broke up gave me the inclination that he was probably creeping with her while we were still in a relationship.

As others have said, give yourself time to grieve. Be sad. Be angry. Be everything. I'm still not over the pain and it's been months. I definitely don't want him back but I feel like I need closure that will never come...and for him to be able to move on with his life after all of the damage he cause me just doesn't seem fair.
 
BlueEra said:
I understand how you feel. After being lied to, cheated on and beat on, even though I "thought" I was over my ex when we broke up, I was completely devastated when I found out that he was back with his child's mother....like how dare you be "happy'" and content with your life while I'm still in the corner licking my physical and emotional wounds from the damage you inflicted upon me? That was 3 months ago and I still get sad about it. Baby's mama don't go away no matter how much you think they will, and the fact that he was back with her not even a month after we broke up gave me the inclination that he was probably creeping with her while we were still in a relationship.

As others have said, give yourself time to grieve. Be sad. Be angry. Be everything. I'm still not over the pain and it's been months. I definitely don't want him back but I feel like I need closure that will never come...and for him to be able to move on with his life after all of the damage he cause me just doesn't seem fair.
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I'm sorry that you're going through this too. :bighug:
 
Dee Raven said:
That sucks. I'm sorry that you're going through that. I've been there and there's no amount of logic to help ease the emotional blow.

If you like country music, and when you're ready, here's a song I like to listen to to remind me about the blessing in missed opportunities.

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I finally listened to it. It made me feel better. Thank you.
 
bklynbornNbred said:
Time has not been kind to her but she is reflection of what he could offer.
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Omg that is so true! I hate to be petty (but who am I kidding :lol:) but I was also pissed that this fool downgraded me. His baby mama is nowhere near my league in looks or otherwise (at least from what I can see). She's probably very nice. I don't know. I guess he couldn't handle being with someone in the major leagues so he chose a chick from the minor leagues. My whole point is if you're gonna try to make me jealous at least get someone comparable.
 
@caribeandiva

I broke up with an ex in April 2013. By July, he was already seeing someone. By the end of the year, they were engaged. By the next summer, they were expecting. Right before her due date, he was texting me and saying he missed me and he'll never forget me. Men use the next woman to try to get over the last woman, so don't think that his moving on so fast means he never loved or cared about you. :hug:
 
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@BlueEra If you believe closure will never come then it won't. Stop mourning what wasn't so you can make room in your life for possibilities with the next. Have fun with the process and don't rush. If one steps all the way up then you'll have the ultimate revenge of happily moving on. Your ex is a fool and him being with his child's mother doesn't mean he's happy. It just means he settled for what was comfortable and familiar. Whatever made them break up before will resurface but that's none of our concern. When he hits you with the "wyd" texts 3 months from now respond "new phone who dis" and keep it moving.

Edited to add: create a vision for yourself of the relationship you want. Once you start laying out specifics I'm sure you'll realize what you had with him wasn't it. It will be easier to welcome the unknown once you accept what you had wasn't truly fulfilling. You'll get through it but you have to push through.

@caribeandiva the unequally yoked thing is real. I mean she was kinda cute back then but hard living with an always broke man will wear anyone down. What I thought had potential never materialized.

I should feel a little bad for her...........
:sekret:
:sekret:
:sekret:
:sekret:
but I don't.
 
caribeandiva said:
That's why we broke up so many times. I got tired of the mind games and dealing with his insecure behind. I honestly don't know if he cheated in the past. Oh well that negro is now blocked permanently! I should've ignored my friends when they told me to unblock him the first time. I'll trust my instincts from now on.
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I learned from my last relationship that my gut instinct is my ultimate best friend. I love my friends, but some of them are in f'ed up relationships so I have no idea why I considered their advice before. Never again.
 
Sorry you're going through this, but you broke up with him for a reason(s). Keep that in mind. Also, it doesn't sound like that relationship is going to end so well since he knocked her up so quickly.
 
caribeandiva said:
We broke up for good in July. He announced on Christmas Eve that he got his new girlfriend pregnant. I thought I was over him and moved on already. I guess I wasn't. This hit me hard. I knew it was over, that we've both moved on. I've been with other men since him. I thought I accepted it but why am I in so much pain? I've been depressed and crying since then. I'm bouncing all over the grief cycle. I'm grieving the truth that it's really over and permanently. I'm grieving what will never be. I'm grieving the fact that we'll never share a first pregnancy together and all that comes with it. I'm grieving lost hope and all the dreams he took with him. I'm sorry y'all. I need time to deal with this.
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Sending you a big hug!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry, about this situation. I was so rooting for it to work out.

The reason you feel attached to the situation has to do with your feelings of rejection. No one likes to feel rejected it provokes all kinds of issues from the past.

And the possibility of the relationship died so that is another factor you are grieving with and not getting a proper closure.

It's important to feel your feelings however don't let them overwhelm you. You know deep in your heart that there were bumps in the relationship that were never addressed. Important to accept responsibility and learn. Also not to beat yourself up. We are all a work in progress.

If you feel it is important, you could have a final conversation to close things, not to get angry or hostile just to be honest from your side. Or you have to just decide to be the bigger one wish him well and move on.

2017 is almost here, time to start fresh and begin a new chapter. It's painful, however you will look back and see that it was for the best.

Best,
Almond Eyes
 
almond eyes said:
If you feel it is important, you could have a final conversation to close things, not to get angry or hostile just to be honest from your side. Or you have to just decide to be the bigger one wish him well and move on.
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I did have a final conversation with him through meditation. A couple of nights ago I held a "funeral" for the relationship. I pretended he was sitting in front of me and I let him have it! I told him off and held nothing back. The good and the bad. I also thanked him for everything and sent them (him, baby and baby mama) off in peace. No resentment. I lit candles, had my cross nearby, laid down a rose, prayed and played funeral music at the end. I sat there and cried some more. I'm determined to leave him behind in 2016 which is why I didn't wait longer to do it. He's officially "dead" to me. Now I can move on for good.
 
caribeandiva said:
I did have a final conversation with him through meditation. A couple of nights ago I held a "funeral" for the relationship. I pretended he was sitting in front of me and I let him have it! I told him off and held nothing back. The good and the bad. I also thanked him for everything and sent them (him, baby and baby mama) off in peace. No resentment. I lit candles, had my cross nearby, laid down a rose, prayed and played funeral music at the end. I sat there and cried some more. I'm determined to leave him behind in 2016 which is why I didn't wait longer to do it. He's officially "dead" to me. Now I can move on for good.
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I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy New Years to you and all the ladies on here!!!!!!

Best,
Almond Eyes
 
BlueEra said:
I understand how you feel. After being lied to, cheated on and beat on, even though I "thought" I was over my ex when we broke up, I was completely devastated when I found out that he was back with his child's mother....like how dare you be "happy'" and content with your life while I'm still in the corner licking my physical and emotional wounds from the damage you inflicted upon me? That was 3 months ago and I still get sad about it. Baby's mama don't go away no matter how much you think they will, and the fact that he was back with her not even a month after we broke up gave me the inclination that he was probably creeping with her while we were still in a relationship.

As others have said, give yourself time to grieve. Be sad. Be angry. Be everything. I'm still not over the pain and it's been months. I definitely don't want him back but I feel like I need closure that will never come...and for him to be able to move on with his life after all of the damage he cause me just doesn't seem fair.
Click to expand...

Every woman needs to internalize this.
 
caribeandiva said:
We broke up for good in July. He announced on Christmas Eve that he got his new girlfriend pregnant. I thought I was over him and moved on already. I guess I wasn't. This hit me hard. I knew it was over, that we've both moved on. I've been with other men since him. I thought I accepted it but why am I in so much pain? I've been depressed and crying since then. I'm bouncing all over the grief cycle. I'm grieving the truth that it's really over and permanently. I'm grieving what will never be. I'm grieving the fact that we'll never share a first pregnancy together and all that comes with it. I'm grieving lost hope and all the dreams he took with him. I'm sorry y'all. I need time to deal with this.
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:bighug: *****lations 4:13 sis stay prayed up :pray:
 
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