He's Having A Baby With His New Girlfriend!

The best advice I can give is to.... Keep it real. Don't reflect on what 'could have been' focus on what was. If he was a Mutha***** when you all were together ( thus breaking up, repeatedly as someone else typed) then he still is a MF. I tried to think back to when I had a similar experience but I haven't had many. When a relationship is over for me... Trust me there is a reason. I tell myself then ...that he will not change & that this is who he is and then I move on. I don't immediately jump into another relationship until I am sure I got the lesson from the last. Reminisce about the times when he was an A**hole. The reason you all broke up. When/if he cheated. He is still the same person. The problems you once had....are now hers. When the time is right, you will meet your Prince. And.... He will not knock you up without a ring.
 
GetHappy2014 said:
The best advice I can give is to.... Keep it real. Don't reflect on what 'could have been' focus on what was. If he was a Mutha***** when you all were together ( thus breaking up, repeatedly as someone else typed) then he still is a MF. I tried to think back to when I had a similar experience but I haven't had many. When a relationship is over for me... Trust me there is a reason. I tell myself then ...that he will not change & that this is who he is and then I move on. I don't immediately jump into another relationship until I am sure I got the lesson from the last. Reminisce about the times when he was an A**hole. The reason you all broke up. When/if he cheated. He is still the same person. The problems you once had....are now hers. When the time is right, you will meet your Prince. And.... He will not knock you up without a ring.
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I wholeheartedly cosign with this post.
 
GetHappy2014 said:
The best advice I can give is to.... Keep it real. Don't reflect on what 'could have been' focus on what was. If he was a Mutha***** when you all were together ( thus breaking up, repeatedly as someone else typed) then he still is a MF. I tried to think back to when I had a similar experience but I haven't had many. When a relationship is over for me... Trust me there is a reason. I tell myself then ...that he will not change & that this is who he is and then I move on. I don't immediately jump into another relationship until I am sure I got the lesson from the last. Reminisce about the times when he was an A**hole. The reason you all broke up. When/if he cheated. He is still the same person. The problems you once had....are now hers. When the time is right, you will meet your Prince. And.... He will not knock you up without a ring.
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:amen: Men don't change. You dodged a bullet.
 
:bighug::bighug:

For some reason the girl college ex cheated on me with then knocked up turned wife now divorced popped up on people I may know on Fb.

Time has not been kind to her but she is reflection of what he could offer.

My petty self hit a praise because as others said she is stuck with him for life (they have a kid).

I know now that there is no way what I ever fantasized or held onto could have EVER come true with him because he was, is, and forever shall be a bum that I never should have been involved with if I valued myself. But at the time I was hard headed and prideful but learned my lesson. Reality is if not for the kid we may have continued that back and forth a little longer. Giving unequally yoked brothers a chance leads nowhere.

Ya'll broke up multiple times. Anytime you think about the what if focus on the what was. Don't let his failure to recognize your value lead you into downplaying his faults. Fake it until you believe it.

He self selected himself away from the position of your man. Concentrate on interviewing new candidates. Then keep looking out your windshield instead of your rear view mirror. :vette:. It's ok to feel some kinda way but don't get stuck there.

:thewave:
 
caribeandiva said:
We broke up for good in July. He announced on Christmas Eve that he got his new girlfriend pregnant. I thought I was over him and moved on already. I guess I wasn't. This hit me hard. I knew it was over, that we've both moved on. I've been with other men since him. I thought I accepted it but why am I in so much pain? I've been depressed and crying since then. I'm bouncing all over the grief cycle. I'm grieving the truth that it's really over and permanently. I'm grieving what will never be. I'm grieving the fact that we'll never share a first pregnancy together and all that comes with it. I'm grieving lost hope and all the dreams he took with him. I'm sorry y'all. I need time to deal with this.
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Sending you a big hug.
 
@Lymegreen
When u said ur sisters laughed at you!!!! I giggled a little lol
You know why? That's family, they love you and that dude is sooooo insignificant and was sooooo not worth your tears that they had to laugh. That would make me laugh at myself too and feel better. Awww....sisterly love wrapped up in assholessness xoxo
 
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caribeandiva said:
Omg I'm there now. At the anger stage. I feel horrible for wishing ill on them and an innocent child yet here I am. I know it's the anger talking. I feel like it's gonna take all of the personal growth I've done over the years to get through this. Like I'll never love again. Right now I'm ready to crawl into a hole and never come out. Like I wanna be alone forever. Maybe I'm being too dramatic. :lol:
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You're not being dramatic, you're being human. Go ahead and crawl into a hole, just give yourself a time limit in staying there! It will take effort to move forward but you can do it!

He hurt you. Go ahead and get in your feelings girl! And know that eventually they will change. One day soon the hurt will only be a distant memory and you will be able to take real joy in delegating him to the past.
 
CoilyFields said:
You're not being dramatic, you're being human. Go ahead and crawl into a hole, just give yourself a time limit in staying there! It will take effort to move forward but you can do it!

He hurt you. Go ahead and get in your feelings girl! And know that eventually they will change. One day soon the hurt will only be a distant memory and you will be able to take real joy in delegating him to the past.
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Thank you. I will wallow in self pity for one more day and then I'll start living again. I'm out of wine and almost out of ice cream. Damn...
 
Mai Tai said:
I think this is one of the biggest reasons why when a relationship is over, I cut off ALL contact with exes. I block numbers, delete all traces of our relationship from my home and social media before blocking them there too and I ask family and friends to please spare me on their life updates. It's not that you want them back but their happiness can be a slap in the face when they dogged you out so bad.

Allow yourself to be angry but do not stay there too long.
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It's hard to avoid him completely because he's a family friend. Our parents are friends and he's best friends with my brother and close to my sister too. Yes it's a mess. I've asked them before to please stop updating me about what my ex is up to and they have for the most part. I guess since this was huge news they couldn't help themselves. I am gonna take social media break for a few months though. I can't handle it right now.
 
Ive been there. TOTALLY understand that feeling. I felt like I was living in a bubble then dropped into hell when that happened to me. I was totally convinced that my ex and I would share the experience of having our first child together. I was consumed with grief and I physically felt pain in my body. I'm in a better place today. THANK YOU JESUS. If I can get through it, I have faith that you will too. Time heals. I read the entire new testament during that time and "treated" myself to things that would cheer me up such as gel manicures and facials regularly. Sending love and prayers for inner peace.
 
it's less because she must be a few months already. That alone is infuriating and would make me wonder how long she's been around. I don't like the fact that it seems like he's trying to make you jealous. He's playing games and sounds quite insecure. Someone who would treat you like that is not worth the toilet paper you wipe your butt with. On to the next one. He is so not worth it and the circumstances around this baby's conception are sketchy at best. Homegirl did not get a prize :barf: . Take this time to reflect and do you. Get in a few good cries, binge watch some shows and cut off all communication. I always feel like it is best, so you don't have to see new developments.

caribeandiva said:
Exactly. It's like a slap in the face to me. 5 freaking months!! :mad:



For their child's sake I hope this experience matures him and forces him to leave his childish ways behind.
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Kurlee said:
it's less because she must be a few months already. That alone is infuriating and would make me wonder how long she's been around. I don't like the fact that it seems like he's trying to make you jealous. He's playing games and sounds quite insecure.
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That's why we broke up so many times. I got tired of the mind games and dealing with his insecure behind. I honestly don't know if he cheated in the past. Oh well that negro is now blocked permanently! I should've ignored my friends when they told me to unblock him the first time. I'll trust my instincts from now on.
 
I finally told one of my friends. She gave me conflicting advice. At first she said what you all said: "he's an a**hole. Good riddance!" But later on she told me that if he comes back I should hear him out, that he made a mistake and to forgive him in the future. I was like:
IMG_2882.PNG

Hell naw! I will forgive him eventually but I'm not going back to him. No thanks
 
caribeandiva said:
I finally told one of my friends. She gave me conflicting advice. At first she said what you all said: "he's an a**hole. Good riddance!" But later on she told me that if he comes back I should hear him out, that he made a mistake and to forgive him in the future. I was like:
View attachment 383673

Hell naw! I will forgive him eventually but I'm not going back to him. No thanks
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:rolleyes:

Absolutely not. You can forgive him without his involvement.
 
caribeandiva said:
That's why we broke up so many times. I got tired of the mind games and dealing with his insecure behind. I honestly don't know if he cheated in the past. Oh well that negro is now blocked permanently! I should've ignored my friends when they told me to unblock him the first time. I'll trust my instincts from now on.
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I wish you nothing but the best! I used the block + binge watching method after a breakup and funnel cake :lachen: . You deserve so much better :yep:. BTW, Underground is good to get into. Season 2 is around the corner.
 
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