Helping financially

cherryhair123

cherryhair123

Well-Known Member
Does your man help with your bills even though you two don't live together? I always felt like this should be the case. I feel offended if he doesn't offer after things get serious. Is that old school thinking?
 
He did when we weren't living together. That was the 1st time i ever accepted help from a man. An ex had offered and i was insulted and said no and i regretted it.
IMO, It's not his obligation to help financially but it would be nice if he did.
 
My SO and I don't live together but he does. In the beginning of our relationship he mentioned one day that he spent so much time with me at my place that he felt the need to contribute. I said ok and that was that.
 
Not really- but thought it was cute when he slipped money in my purse for breakfast and lunch at work :)
 
Yes. I got a percentage of my ex's check every payday because we didn't live together. His extremely jealous personality caused me to to break up with him. But I miss the checks.:look: :lol:
 
*CherryPie* said:
Yes. I got a percentage of my ex's check every payday because we didn't live together. His extremely jealous personality caused me to to break up with him. But I miss the checks.:look: :lol:
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*CherryPie* Aren't allowances great? The man I was going to marry in 2011, sent me an allowance check ever two weeks. It wasn't much, but it was nice. Also we were in a LDR and when he would visit about every 6 weeks, he purchased all my groceries :) in addition to my allowance. :) Le Sigh.
 
Yes. He helps me and my son tremendously and I have never asked him to do a thing. He just does because he wants to do so. We don't live together, but we eat dinner together 5 out of 7 nights, so he buys 90% of the grocery. He's always making "Walmart" runs for me and refuses to be reimbursed by me for anything. He's always picking up little "things" for my son. And the list goes on...new tires for my car, new tvs for my condo because mine were outdated and huge.... But as he stated to me, "we do for each other and we don't keep a running tab of who is doing what and the amount because it's from the heart".
Before I met him, I struggled with getting things done. Not because I didn't have the money; I just didn't have enough hours in the day. Now that he's in my life, he's alleviated that stress and he makes sure that my needs are met. *knocks heavily on wood*

We actually lightweight fought about his generosity when we first started dating. Every time he did something nice for me, I always tried to pay him back. I was not accustomed to being treated the way I deserved to be treated by a man. So we struggled with his generous ways and my desire to always try and reimburse. Finally he just said.... "Will you please just let me do what I wanna do for you. And stop trying to pay me back for everything. If I need something from you, I will let you know. " after he said that, I relaxed and let him be the wonderful man that he is.
 
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No, I don't think a man should have too especially if they are paying for all the dates and are generous with gifts. I would want my son to date a woman that was stable enough to pay her own bills.
 
Only if he's spending so much time at my place that he should probably be on the lease anyway. Helping with gas in my car, the cable, my phone bill, the occasional utility or giving me lunch money is alright with me. I wouldn't want him giving me rent money or paying my mortgage anything like that though. To me, that's too much.
 
Mostly grocery and car related expenses he contributes. I don't expect him to keep up two residences but I'm sure he would kick in something if I was lacking in an area.
 
spelmanlocks said:
A man can choose to pay but one should not expect it. It seems odd to expect a man to pay your bills, especially if you are fully able to pay your own bills.
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Oh, I didn't see where anyone said it was expected.

ETA: Saw where OP said it was an expectation. That wasn't the case for me.
 
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spelmanlocks said:
A man can choose to pay but one should not expect it. It seems odd to expect a man to pay your bills, especially if you are fully able to pay your own bills.
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I agree that it is odd to expect this. That can create problems.
 
spelmanlocks said:
A man can choose to pay but one should not expect it. It seems odd to expect a man to pay your bills, especially if you are fully able to pay your own bills.
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Everyone has different expectations, wants and needs. Some new skool folks would say men shouldn't have to pay for dates etc and the bill/tab should be split equally. Again its all on the person or persons involved in the relationship. What one man/woman won't do another man/woman will. Someone paying a few or all my bills doesn't mean I cannot pay my own. Again different strokes for different folks. I keep bringing up the 5 Love Languages mannnnnn:grin:
 
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cherryhair123 said:
Does your man help with your bills even though you two don't live together? I always felt like this should be the case. I feel offended if he doesn't offer after things get serious. Is that old school thinking?
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Dh did before we got married. only when I needed the help. I don't think it's old school at all. It definitely beats the alternative. :lol:
 
When I was dating, yes.
I would get money for my household expenses and spending cash. I expect this from any man I'm seeing.
 
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