Help with NEw Boyfriend!!!!!

[StarScream35]

I've been in a relationship with this guy for 2 months and we are still learning about each and stuff and so far things have been going good. Well he called me yesterday saying that he feels I don't like to spend as much time with him as he does me. Of course this kinda left me flabbergasted because we are together every single Sat and Sun and at least one day through the week. I asked him to explain this to me and he said he would love to be with me every day but I give off the impression that I like having my down time. Umm......yeah boo, I like you but I do like my down time. I have conveyed to him a million times that I really like him and I enjoy spending time with him. Why he's missing this I don't know.

Is there something more here that I'm missing?

 

[Fine 4s]

He is looooooonging for you. Good job! Lol

 

[Tamster]

I agree with the above. But perhaps his love language is spending time. Do you guys talk on the phone on the days that you arent together?

I will say that I do really enjoy spending time with the person I care about. Its important to me... maybe thats how he is feeling.

Since youve told him you do like your down time (and im assuming you guys are both working and stuff, so it gets hard) maybe come to an agreement without compromsing down time for yourself? Maybe bump it up one or 2 days

 

[StarScream35]

Thanks Fine. I was a little freaked out because I certainly don't want a man who is possessive. I mean like I said, I enjoy being with him but at the same time I like my "me" too. Also I think the time we spend is fair enough but for some reason he's feeling it should be more. This is where I'm confused.

 

[StarScream35]

Tamster

We talk on the phone every single day. Perhaps you are right, maybe we should bump it up a little more but then I feel if we are together too much then things will get boring. I like the idea of having some time off from the person that way you can long for them more. There's an old saying about that but it slips my mind right now.

 

[firecracker]

You guys are communicating your feelings so that is good. Keep doing that and things should be alright. I likes my down time too.

 

[Seeking8Rights]

Does he have friends?

 

[StarScream35]

Does he have friends?

Yeah he does................mostly all female friends.

 

[Seeking8Rights]

Yeah he does................mostly all female friends.

Not surprised. If it were ME, I would stick to my boundaries of maintaining a balance of "me" time and time spent with him.

Him not having any male friends, would be a semi-red flag that I would keep an eye on.

 

[lushcoils]

Does he work? Go to school?

 

[StarScream35]

lushcoils

He works fulltime just like I do. We both are out of college.

 

[MamaBear2012]

DH's love language is quality time. So, like another poster mentioned, that could be his as well. I could just want to read a book or check my email or whatever, and he wants me to be sitting on the couch with him even if we aren't doing the same thing. I don't understand it, but it makes him happy that we're together.

 

[Tamster]

DH's love language is quality time. So, like another poster mentioned, that could be his as well. I could just want to read a book or check my email or whatever, and he wants me to be sitting on the couch with him even if we aren't doing the same thing. I don't understand it, but it makes him happy that we're together.

so sweet lol this is for sure my love language... i think. idk i never took a test or anything, but im the same way

 

[jazzerz]

so sweet lol this is for sure my love language... i think. idk i never took a test or anything, but im the same way

It's mine for sure. Here is the test Tamster.

If you're single:
http://www.5lovelanguages.com/assessments/personal-profiles/?profiletype=singles

If you're married: http://www.5lovelanguages.com/assessments/personal-profiles/?profiletype=wives

Sent from my iPhone using LHCF

 

[Fine 4s]

At the beginning I loved it and still do. However you run the risk of being taken for granted hence my comment. My SO wants me around quite a bit but at times I feel like I need to disappear whether he is aware of his feelings (taking someone for granted) or not.

The flip side is that if someone wants you, there is no such thing as TOO much time...

In the end if you do what feels right for you (within reason) then you cannot go wrong!

 

[Keshieshimmer]

Not surprised. If it were ME, I would stick to my boundaries of maintaining a balance of "me" time and time spent with him.

Him not having any male friends, would be a semi-red flag that I would keep an eye on.

Maybe a red flag, but my best guy friend is like this, most of his close friends are females, but he isn't banging any of us (he is one of those, if only he was hotter dudes).

 

[varaneka]

I don't know if you're into TR (The Rules) but they say that after the 3rd month you can spend time 3 days/week and after 4 months 4, but that he has to propose and marry you to see you every day.