Help me before I hurt this man!!!!

[spelmanlocks]

It might be strange for your SO to look at you with color contacts, because a lot of times especially on darker women they really stand out and in some cases can look a bit creepy. Plus he may love looking into your eyes and may feel you are covering them up by putting in color contacts. Whatever the reason, I believe for something like this I would compromise. In a relationship you want to look good for yourself but also for your man.

What if he wanted to dye is hair blonde or do something to his appearance that really bothered you? Would you just deal with it or beg him not to do it?

 

[imstush]

I personally hate color contacts, so I am biased. But I agree with a poster that said to show him how you look with the contacts..although I don't believe that will make much of a difference.

 

[Ayeshia]

I think he has a right to voice his opinion about how you look...Best believe if he look a HAM i would let him know .but in the end do want you want.

 

[mrsmeredith]

Girl wear your colored contacts point blank. You can't allow him to control you. If you give in to this, whats next? Not saying this should be your pissing contest but please trust yourself. He seems very controlling. Never let a man make decisions for your especially if he's not your hubby.

Also, she's not asking us about the colors or what we think about how they look or what not. Only about her man. To each its own. Do YOU!!!!

 

[dimpalz]

Yea I don't like coloured contacts either. As a dark skinned girl I wouldn't bother with them I think they are a bit old and look obviously fake most of the time. I am yet to see a darkskinned women look anything less that a tad hoodratish in coloured contacts (Sorry JMO) but then that's with straight hair and they do then to be blue or green or grey. I'm feeling they wouldn't have that same vibe with twists, they may actually look good (it's probably the whole "I wish I was white, cos white is right" vibe that can sometimes come across wen too much of a woman is fake i.e. hair, nails, eyes etc)

But have you ever thought maybe they don't suit you and he just don't wanna say it? Maybe you should ask because if I felt that my friend didn't look good with them but she thought she was the shiz then I wouldn't say I'd probably come up with another excuse. You know?

 

[Whimsy]

I agree with him on the content of this argument (the contacts) BUT I agree with you in that IT'S NOT ABOUT HIM.

I think colored contacts are a little off in general, natural hair or not.

DO YOU. You want a change, go for it.

(but please don't be like my cousin and tell people your eyes are hazel simply because you haven't taken your colored contacts off in damn near 8 years)

 

[Minx]

Wow!

Thank you all very much for your opinions!
I still have my glasses which I can wear although the frame is getting raggedy and that ain't cute! But yes, I can see.

Also, the contacts are not outdated, and they have been in solution which I have changed from time to time to keep them fresh.
By the way they are more light brown than "hazel", which I believe has more goldish tones to them.

Anyway,

After thinking this over, I have decided to ditch the contacts, just to keep the peace between me and my honey.

My honey(my boyfriend) is a naturalist, and he likes hiphop gear (which I hate) and I'm a mix between classic and dramatic fashions: I like classic styles in clothing and jewelry, but I like more flair,dramatic, when it comes to my hair and makeup.

Someone mentioned maybe we are mixmatched,
I don't know, maybe we are.
But there was something going on somewhere that caught his eye and made that natural brother step to this dramatic sister, relaxed hair and all!
And when I saw all six foot two of him and them locs I was like
Hate to make us both sound so superficial, but hey,that ways two years ago.....but I digress.....

So last night I went online and ordered a new pair of eyeglass frames to change up my look for now.
When I can, I will order some new contacts.....and they wiil be clear!

take care,
dk

 

[Blackoutzangel05]

Okay, so my honey and I are having a little spat about my appearance.
I'll describe myself since I don't have pics:

I'm deep brown-skinned.
I am newly natural 4B.
I wear my hair in twists or a fro.
I wear makeup, tastefully applied(I used to sell cosmetics).
My family members say I look like Natalie Cole.

Alright, I said all that to say this:

I wear glasses but I also have contacts, they happen to be hazel.
I got my contacts two years ago before I met my honey and before I went natural.
My honey has never seen me in them.

So I tell him on the phone today that I'm gonna wear my contacts for a while.
I'm sick of my glasses for now.

He says, "Don't do that, babe. You know I won't like it. You know I'm all about originality."

So I'm like, "Honey, I know, but I bought 'em, I paid for 'em, and I wanna wear 'em."

He says, "Yeah, but that was along time ago. You won't look right now, wearing your natural hair, but wearing fake eyes. Don't try to be something you're not. You know I'm not into that, I'm all about natural-ness...." (Honey has gorgeous locs.)

My response," Well honey, this ain't about you, it's about me and I want to wear them. True, this is not my natural eye color, however African Americans do sometimes have hazel or light brown eyes, so it's not like I'm putting in blue or light green or something. And I was not trying to be something I'm not, I just thought they would look good, just for a change..."

We didn't agree and we left it alone for a couple of hours.

Later, honey called back just to shoot the breeze.
So we chatted for a while and after a good conversation which ended in me saying "I love you", and him saying "I love you too", I was about to go on with my day feeling all good and what not.

Just then honey says,"And remember what I said about those contacts....that ain't cool."

At that moment all the "good feelings" left my body.

I poked my lips out, squinted my eyes and said,
"Uh huh, I heard you."

I hung up the phone, and after taking a brief moment to consider his feelings, I went into the bathroom and proceeded to put in my contacts.

QUESTION:
What do y'all think?
Can a natural-haired sister wear colored contact lenses?
Am I looking foolish for doing so?
Or
Is honey trippin'?

Please be honest, I really wanna know your opinions.

Blessings,
dk

This is one reason that I stopped visiting natural hair sites when I decided to not get a perm anymore. There seems to be this misguided thought that because I am not getting perms that I should be 100% natural and that is not the case for me. Let me ask you something, why did you decide to go natural? Was it because you wanted to be 100% natural, discover your roots, etc. Or, like me, simply because you were tired to not scratching for a week when your head itched, because perms burned your scalp, and you were tired of the excess breakage, stress, etc??? I wear acrylic nails, have gray contacts(which I love) and sport weaves/wigs like its nobodies business.
Ultimately I would say do you,but in respect to your relationship I would consider, I said consider, his thoughts. I am not BC'ing mainly because my hubby doesn't like short hair and then because I don't like short hair. I don't agree that you shouldn't wear the contacts but I do believe that his feelings should be considered if he is someone important in your life.

 

[angie10]

I used to wear contacts a few years back, but I also wore glasses. I stopped wearing contacts, because I got tired of all that cleaning, but if I ever feel the need to wear them again; I will go straight back to it. I wouldn't care what anybody think about it. If you're doing something for the right reason, then people shouldn't easily convience you that it's wrong. It's not like you're pretending it's yours and wearing them all the time. When you put it in and toss it out, you're still the same person. And just because you're wearing contacts, doesn't always mean that it's better. I get the same compliment equally on my eyes, when I dont wear contacts.

 

[Honi]

Wear them. Appreciate the comments but do what the hell you want.

I mean how petty and small is that? This isn’t even a battle worth getting into. I mean seriously what’s next…..is he going to control what you put in your au natural hair, skin, food, clothes?

 

[Afrolinda]

Okay, so my honey and I are having a little spat about my appearance.
I'll describe myself since I don't have pics:

I'm deep brown-skinned.
I am newly natural 4B.
I wear my hair in twists or a fro.
I wear makeup, tastefully applied(I used to sell cosmetics).
My family members say I look like Natalie Cole.

Alright, I said all that to say this:

I wear glasses but I also have contacts, they happen to be hazel.
I got my contacts two years ago before I met my honey and before I went natural.
My honey has never seen me in them.

So I tell him on the phone today that I'm gonna wear my contacts for a while.
I'm sick of my glasses for now.

He says, "Don't do that, babe. You know I won't like it. You know I'm all about originality."

So I'm like, "Honey, I know, but I bought 'em, I paid for 'em, and I wanna wear 'em."

He says, "Yeah, but that was along time ago. You won't look right now, wearing your natural hair, but wearing fake eyes. Don't try to be something you're not. You know I'm not into that, I'm all about natural-ness...." (Honey has gorgeous locs.)

My response," Well honey, this ain't about you, it's about me and I want to wear them. True, this is not my natural eye color, however African Americans do sometimes have hazel or light brown eyes, so it's not like I'm putting in blue or light green or something. And I was not trying to be something I'm not, I just thought they would look good, just for a change..."

We didn't agree and we left it alone for a couple of hours.

Later, honey called back just to shoot the breeze.
So we chatted for a while and after a good conversation which ended in me saying "I love you", and him saying "I love you too", I was about to go on with my day feeling all good and what not.

Just then honey says,"And remember what I said about those contacts....that ain't cool."

At that moment all the "good feelings" left my body.

I poked my lips out, squinted my eyes and said,
"Uh huh, I heard you."

I hung up the phone, and after taking a brief moment to consider his feelings, I went into the bathroom and proceeded to put in my contacts.

QUESTION:
What do y'all think?
Can a natural-haired sister wear colored contact lenses?
Am I looking foolish for doing so?
Or
Is honey trippin'?

Please be honest, I really wanna know your opinions.

Blessings,
dk

I just wanted to say that black people in Africa, America, Europe, carribeans, Australia and the rest of the world can have hazel, light brown eyes, blue or green eyes.