Help ladies.....is my ex trying to even the score? I'm so confused?
So, to make a loooong story short: (or not)
I recently ended a 3 year relationship (on again off again) about 3 months ago. My ex before my 3 year relationship also ended his 3 year relationship about 4 months ago. Now here's the thing. We've only communicated once in the past three years for about 2 weeks when he had a short break up from the 3 yr relationship he was in. He immediately contacted me and I happened to be broken up at that time too and we just hung out and talked. Nothing physical at all. We've always been able to talk to each other for hours at a time and have fun.
Now skip to present. My 3 year relationship ended because all we did was argue and he wasnt willingly to come up with ways or embrace the ways I came up with to save our relationship and stop the unhealthy behavior. He wasnt willing to put in the work. I felt like I gave sooo much and was stomped on in return. So that's over.
My ex's 3 year relationship ended apparently because his girlfriend didnt trust him and the main reason she didnt......ME
erplexed He apparently told her about the two weeks we hung out when they werent together. Now as I said before, nothing happened those two weeks. Not even a kiss, because we both realized that our hearts were still in our respective relationships. His ex even went so far as when they broke up this final time, to break into his AT&T account and watch his phone activity. The moment he contacted me she went biszerk and threatened to call me herself
I mean I don't get the ME factor because I wasnt thinking about him at all in the past 3 years. I was trying to make my own relationship work. I suspect there is more to the story of her not trusting him than just ME and those two weeks. But he insists that her only reason for not trusting him is because she believed we got down those two weeks.
So, both of us are now out of those 3 yr relationships. We both say we don't want a relationship but we have started talking on the phone 4 or 5 times a day. Texting like crazy, going out on dates, basically spending time. A lot of it. I must admit, I like him. The other day was his graduation. Now because of our history together and former relationship. I know all of his family. He gets a ticket for me to come to his graduation and begs me to come. I agree to come. The last week of school he was swamped with finals and had two papers to write that had to be 30 pages long each or more not sure. I still heard from him the same amount of time but much shorter conversations. Which I understood because I've been there with final time. During this time my dad even got sick and I told him about it. (it was a minor problem thank God). He was reassuring and even offered to drive up to my house and hold me until I fell asleep. (He was living on campus which is about 30 min away). Then he would burn the midnight oil with his papers while I slept. I wanted to say yes but didnt want to be selfish. So I told him to keep working on his papers.
That whole finals week I didnt push us seeing each other because I was trying to be understanding. Then the day before his family was to arrive for graduation I said I would like to see him before his fam got there because I knew he would be crazy busy when they got here. He had a final that day and had to secure a storage space for his things, not to mention the papers he still wasnt done with. After not doing so well on his final that night, he was in a bad mood and needless to say, he called me around 8:00pm to say it wasnt going to happen. He got a bit short with me and we hung up. He called back to apologize for his bad mood and being short with me. I was dissappointed but tried to be understanding.
Finally, here is the issue. The first day his family came. I didnt hear from him AT ALL. I brushed it off, you know how it is when family comes for a special occasion. The next day he called to make sure I was coming to his graduation and instructed me on where to go on campus. That night after his family left and I dropped him and his older male cousin off, He hugged me and kissed me on the cheekerplexed We definitely havent been kissing on the cheek at all during the month and half we've been dealing. We've been kissing.....on the mouth. His brother also told me they were probably going to a theme park here on saturday before we left the graduation ceremony. I asked him when we were walking to my car when they were going to the theme park (just for conversation) and he said he didnt know???
Then, the next day, I didnt hear from him at all. I saw him at his graduation on Thursday and I didnt hear from him again until Sunday. He called me on Sunday and left a message saying "Hey, how are you? Hope your weekend is going well. Just here hanging with the fam." His family leaves tommorow. And I'm confused on how I should act if he just starts calling me on the regular again? Should I act like what he did didnt bother me at all?
I'm confused. It's not like I wanted to hang with his family everyday. But, I thought he would at least stay in contact while they were here. I know his sister-n-law and brother wanted to see me while they were in town because we were good friends before. They even told him not to mess it up with me before they got into town so they could see me.
So, my question is WHAT's Going On? Is he pulling away from the intensity or our non-relationship? Did he pretend so I would see his sister-n-law and brother at the graduation as they requested? Is he trying to get me back for making him feel "unwanted" in our former relationship? (forgot to mention that earlier, he told me in conversation not to long ago that when we were together years ago, I made him feel unwanted. As if I didnt want to be there. I must admit that might have come across that way. I was young and unsure of what I wanted.)
Or is my mother right, You shouldnt look back to former relationships because usually someone is just trying to even a score?
Sorry so long.... But Ladies...HELP
So, to make a loooong story short: (or not)
I recently ended a 3 year relationship (on again off again) about 3 months ago. My ex before my 3 year relationship also ended his 3 year relationship about 4 months ago. Now here's the thing. We've only communicated once in the past three years for about 2 weeks when he had a short break up from the 3 yr relationship he was in. He immediately contacted me and I happened to be broken up at that time too and we just hung out and talked. Nothing physical at all. We've always been able to talk to each other for hours at a time and have fun.
Now skip to present. My 3 year relationship ended because all we did was argue and he wasnt willingly to come up with ways or embrace the ways I came up with to save our relationship and stop the unhealthy behavior. He wasnt willing to put in the work. I felt like I gave sooo much and was stomped on in return. So that's over.
My ex's 3 year relationship ended apparently because his girlfriend didnt trust him and the main reason she didnt......ME
erplexed He apparently told her about the two weeks we hung out when they werent together. Now as I said before, nothing happened those two weeks. Not even a kiss, because we both realized that our hearts were still in our respective relationships. His ex even went so far as when they broke up this final time, to break into his AT&T account and watch his phone activity. The moment he contacted me she went biszerk and threatened to call me herself I mean I don't get the ME factor because I wasnt thinking about him at all in the past 3 years. I was trying to make my own relationship work. I suspect there is more to the story of her not trusting him than just ME and those two weeks. But he insists that her only reason for not trusting him is because she believed we got down those two weeks.So, both of us are now out of those 3 yr relationships. We both say we don't want a relationship but we have started talking on the phone 4 or 5 times a day. Texting like crazy, going out on dates, basically spending time. A lot of it. I must admit, I like him. The other day was his graduation. Now because of our history together and former relationship. I know all of his family. He gets a ticket for me to come to his graduation and begs me to come. I agree to come. The last week of school he was swamped with finals and had two papers to write that had to be 30 pages long each or more not sure. I still heard from him the same amount of time but much shorter conversations. Which I understood because I've been there with final time. During this time my dad even got sick and I told him about it. (it was a minor problem thank God). He was reassuring and even offered to drive up to my house and hold me until I fell asleep. (He was living on campus which is about 30 min away). Then he would burn the midnight oil with his papers while I slept. I wanted to say yes but didnt want to be selfish. So I told him to keep working on his papers.
That whole finals week I didnt push us seeing each other because I was trying to be understanding. Then the day before his family was to arrive for graduation I said I would like to see him before his fam got there because I knew he would be crazy busy when they got here. He had a final that day and had to secure a storage space for his things, not to mention the papers he still wasnt done with. After not doing so well on his final that night, he was in a bad mood and needless to say, he called me around 8:00pm to say it wasnt going to happen. He got a bit short with me and we hung up. He called back to apologize for his bad mood and being short with me. I was dissappointed but tried to be understanding.
Finally, here is the issue. The first day his family came. I didnt hear from him AT ALL. I brushed it off, you know how it is when family comes for a special occasion. The next day he called to make sure I was coming to his graduation and instructed me on where to go on campus. That night after his family left and I dropped him and his older male cousin off, He hugged me and kissed me on the cheek
erplexed We definitely havent been kissing on the cheek at all during the month and half we've been dealing. We've been kissing.....on the mouth. His brother also told me they were probably going to a theme park here on saturday before we left the graduation ceremony. I asked him when we were walking to my car when they were going to the theme park (just for conversation) and he said he didnt know???Then, the next day, I didnt hear from him at all. I saw him at his graduation on Thursday and I didnt hear from him again until Sunday. He called me on Sunday and left a message saying "Hey, how are you? Hope your weekend is going well. Just here hanging with the fam." His family leaves tommorow. And I'm confused on how I should act if he just starts calling me on the regular again? Should I act like what he did didnt bother me at all?
I'm confused. It's not like I wanted to hang with his family everyday. But, I thought he would at least stay in contact while they were here. I know his sister-n-law and brother wanted to see me while they were in town because we were good friends before. They even told him not to mess it up with me before they got into town so they could see me.
So, my question is WHAT's Going On? Is he pulling away from the intensity or our non-relationship? Did he pretend so I would see his sister-n-law and brother at the graduation as they requested? Is he trying to get me back for making him feel "unwanted" in our former relationship? (forgot to mention that earlier, he told me in conversation not to long ago that when we were together years ago, I made him feel unwanted. As if I didnt want to be there. I must admit that might have come across that way. I was young and unsure of what I wanted.)
Or is my mother right, You shouldnt look back to former relationships because usually someone is just trying to even a score?
Sorry so long.... But Ladies...HELP
Last edited:
