HELP DIVORCE QUESTION - ANY LAWYERS HERE!

[blazingthru]

My husband and I are in agreement I agreed for a settlement, I don't want to get involve with paying lawyers because I really don't have the money I agree to a certain figure but he agrees to a figure five thousand less then mine and said he would give me what i asked for but he will lower child support he pays 250 bi weekly wants to go down to 200 bi weekly. But will keep the 250 if I go down on the settlement. I am not in agreement I think they are two separate issues, my friends said I was being greedy how so. I am not getting anything out of the house except to live there for a few years (rent free) None of the pension, none of the401K or military payments. Plus none of the portion of the other money he has hidden away. should I just take him to court for child support. Or just leave it alone. I feel like I am being railroaded. But at the same time, I am going to live in our house for up to five years rent free. I have to pay everything else and I will get my settlement to bank and add to over the next few years I will be debt free by September 2008. He left me I didnt' leave him. Help will check back in a few hours at work. He sent me an email I have to respond to it soon.

 

[Country gal]

You could of left this in the other thread. Most folks pull up new posts anyway so we would of seen it. I agree with the other posters. You should go to a Lawyer for a free consulation. Forget what your girlfriends say, you want to be fair to your child. Your child should get child support until he or she is 22 as long as they are in college.

 

[mrsmeredith]

Get an attorney because you will regret it later.

 

[PrincessScorpion]

Get an attorney! DO NOT ROLL THE DICE WITH WHAT IS LEGALLY OWED TO YOUR CHILD! DO NOT ALLOW HIM TO PRESSURE YOU INTO DOING SOMETHING IN A HURRY.

 

[klb120475]

Invest in an attorney. Call and check around for divorce attorneys and compare prices. It was by the grace of God that I found my attorney (in the newspaper of all places). He only charged me $676.50.

 

[Tamrin]

I suggest you get an attorney. Do not reply to the email yet. I suggest you get an attorney or legal aid. If he is pressuring you he is nervous about something. If he left you. He abandoned the household. What state do you live in and are you on the deed of the house or not? Did you acquire the house together. Let me tell you this as a spouse in some states you are entitled to whatever he acquired during the course of the marriage. Please do not make any decisions you will regret later. Get a consultation with a lawyer and please dig into records and get information. I smell a rat. Please do your research.

 

[Mizani_Mrs]

You only have a few hours to reply, MY ***! I know he dont expect you to make this decision in a few hours... u need time to think and pray about it. If he's pressuring you to respond quickly then he must be trying to pull off something sneaky and slick. I would suggest a lawyer too. Though it's good that u get to live rent free and can see yourself being debt free... but what about that 401K and pension? You should be worried about your retirement/future. You spent (how many?) years in your marriage with the assumption that money was being contributed to YOUR retirement. and for him to take all of it is realllllly shady. U should at least ask him for a list of his assets and divide it fairly, not offering you some rinkydink settlement just cause it's 'quick'.

 

[blazingthru]

I suggest you get an attorney. Do not reply to the email yet. I suggest you get an attorney or legal aid. If he is pressuring you he is nervous about something. If he left you. He abandoned the household. What state do you live in and are you on the deed of the house or not? Did you acquire the house together. Let me tell you this as a spouse in some states you are entitled to whatever he acquired during the course of the marriage. Please do not make any decisions you will regret later. Get a consultation with a lawyer and please dig into records and get information. I smell a rat. Please do your research.

I live in PA, No he never put me on the deed, he said he intended to but just never got around to it and then one day he said he was glad he didn't do it and he would never ever put my name on anything. He hasn't to this day. I know I have to get a lawyer he is wanting me to sign the settlement which child support isn't on there as far as I know its a separate issue claiming that for the next five years I will only get 200 biweekly. Please I would never do that never. He said he would make up the slack by buying her clothes and sneakers and stuff like that and he does do that, but who is to say whats going to happen once the papers or signed. or someone else gets in his life or if he has another child you know what I mean. When I read his emails I flipped then I knew he thought I was stupid.

 

[blazingthru]

You only have a few hours to reply, MY ***! I know he dont expect you to make this decision in a few hours... u need time to think and pray about it. If he's pressuring you to respond quickly then he must be trying to pull off something sneaky and slick. I would suggest a lawyer too. Though it's good that u get to live rent free and can see yourself being debt free... but what about that 401K and pension? You should be worried about your retirement/future. You spent (how many?) years in your marriage with the assumption that money was being contributed to YOUR retirement. and for him to take all of it is realllllly shady. U should at least ask him for a list of his assets and divide it fairly, not offering you some rinkydink settlement just cause it's 'quick'.

I will take the money out of my retirement and get me a lawyer thats the only option I have right now. I had to borrow from my 401k to get caught up on the bills in the house. He left me with all those bills and although I make enough I had a lot of my own debt to pay so its twice as hard to manage I can't buy much food like I use to forget about hair products thats been out the door for months now. I would like to get a portion of the pension but see we been together for 22 years but married almost 9 this december it will be 9 years and for some reason he wants to rush it before that happens. But I won't rush it I will have to look into things more. Thank you for your help. Thank everyone for their advice. I really need it.

 

[EbonynIvory]

My husband and I are in agreement I agreed for a settlement, I don't want to get involve with paying lawyers because I really don't have the money I agree to a certain figure but he agrees to a figure five thousand less then mine and said he would give me what i asked for but he will lower child support he pays 250 bi weekly wants to go down to 200 bi weekly. But will keep the 250 if I go down on the settlement. I am not in agreement I think they are two separate issues, my friends said I was being greedy how so. I am not getting anything out of the house except to live there for a few years (rent free) None of the pension, none of the401K or military payments. Plus none of the portion of the other money he has hidden away. should I just take him to court for child support. Or just leave it alone. I feel like I am being railroaded. But at the same time, I am going to live in our house for up to five years rent free. I have to pay everything else and I will get my settlement to bank and add to over the next few years I will be debt free by September 2008. He left me I didnt' leave him. Help will check back in a few hours at work. He sent me an email I have to respond to it soon.

I know it was a movie and all, but don't you remember Waiting to Exhale? Dude had houses and money hidden that her lawyer found and he was offering her the same kind of deal. I know, I know it's a movie. But I don't care how long you've been married or together, you've invested a long time in this relationship for him to only want to give you chump change. Your child deserves to be taken care of, but so do you and he would be coming up off of more than just buying her shoes and clothes. And if part of that debt was his, I would make sure that I recouped at least that. Why should he sit around in the lap of luxury while you struggle to buy food to put on the table?

I agree with everyone else, go talk to a lawyer PRONTO and tell him to go sit his silly *** down and stop rushing you to sign papers.

 

[EbonyHairedPrincess]

Get a lawyer quickly! Don't settle on you or your childs future. Do you have a legal aid in your city? They specialize in low income clients.

 

[EbonyHairedPrincess]

I will take the money out of my retirement and get me a lawyer thats the only option I have right now. I had to borrow from my 401k to get caught up on the bills in the house. He left me with all those bills and although I make enough I had a lot of my own debt to pay so its twice as hard to manage I can't buy much food like I use to forget about hair products thats been out the door for months now. I would like to get a portion of the pension but see we been together for 22 years but married almost 9 this december it will be 9 years and for some reason he wants to rush it before that happens. But I won't rush it I will have to look into things more. Thank you for your help. Thank everyone for their advice. I really need it.

Oh honey you get Half of 8+ years of marriage. Hold your ground. Don't say another word to him until you get a lawyer. If he even acts a little crazy get a PPO. That will look so good when you go before a judge to get what you have rightfully coming to you.