HELP DIVORCE QUESTION - ANY LAWYERS HERE!

[blazingthru]

My husband and I are in agreement I agreed for a settlement, I don't want to get involve with paying lawyers because I really don't have the money I agree to a certain figure but he agrees to a figure five thousand less then mine and said he would give me what i asked for but he will lower child support he pays 250 bi weekly wants to go down to 200 bi weekly. But will keep the 250 if I go down on the settlement. I am not in agreement I think they are two separate issues, my friends said I was being greedy how so. I am not getting anything out of the house except to live there for a few years (rent free) None of the pension, none of the401K or military payments. Plus none of the portion of the other money he has hidden away. should I just take him to court for child support. Or just leave it alone. I feel like I am being railroaded. But at the same time, I am going to live in our house for up to five years rent free. I have to pay everything else and I will get my settlement to bank and add to over the next few years I will be debt free by September 2008. He left me I didnt' leave him. Help will check back in a few hours at work. He sent me an email I have to respond to it soon.

 

[andreab]

I am not a lawyer and I would post this in the off topic section to try and get more responses.

Just a couple of questions.
Does the payments would have made for the house for 5 years offset everything else(not including child support).

How many kids do you have? If it is more than one I would take hime to court. Try and do a search to find out the base cost per child in your state depending on salary. What about a college fund? Whos insurance on they on. He may be the one required to provide health insurance if you where in court.

 

[andreab]

I also think you should call around and try and get a lawyer. Just find out how much and what you would need to do.

 

[lexi08]

Hi Trudy, i think i remember you. I am sorry to hear about your divorce. But, I highly advise you to get a lawyer or at least go in for a consultation. How come you are not getting any of his military pension, aren't you entitled to a portion? He is trying to low ball you, don't let him get away with this if at all possible. The child support, housing and settlement are separate issues . and no you are not being greedy you are a mother and you have to look out for your children and your future. With some of these men you can't negotiate with them, they will not be fair. Sometimes you have to let the courts decide. Don't let him make the decision based on what HE FEELS HE SHOULD GIVE YOU....

 

[deltagyrl]

I strongly encourage you to get a lawyer.

 

[sweetkita4]

Hi Trudy, i think i remember you. I am sorry to hear about your divorce. But, I highly advise you to get a lawyer or at least go in for a consultation. How come you are not getting any of his military pension, aren't you entitled to a portion? He is trying to low ball you, don't let him get away with this if at all possible. The child support, housing and settlement are separate issues . and no you are not being greedy you are a mother and you have to look out for your children and your future. With some of these men you can't negotiate with them, they will not be fair. Sometimes you have to let the courts decide. Don't let him make the decision based on what HE FEELS HE SHOULD GIVE YOU....

I believe that in order to receive part of a military pension, you have to be married at least 20 years with at least 15 of those years with the spouse in active duty military service. If that's the case then she would also be entitled to stay on his Tricare insurance and keep her military i.d.

 

[blazingthru]

Thank you everyone. erplexed I guess I am going to have to get a lawyer, I have to take money out of my 401K to hire one and I really hate to do that. I was hoping things would get easier by us agreeing but all of you are right he is not being fair. Oh its one child. she is 13. I have a 19 year old at home, I still support her she gets no support from her dad and I dont' know why, she is 19 but you know 19 really isn't grown she is just trying to do and take care of herself she isn't ready to be out on her own so I still do for her. I posted this in other topics. I am really depressed about everything now.

 

[blazingthru]

I believe that in order to receive part of a military pension, you have to be married at least 20 years with at least 15 of those years with the spouse in active duty military service. If that's the case then she would also be entitled to stay on his Tricare insurance and keep her military i.d.

I believe its 10 years and we been together for over 20 but only married 9 years and he wants to get the divorce before its an official 9 years thereby making it 8 years. To my understanding I get a portion of the money a percentage not half or anything like that. I get a portion of his 401K and retirement and all that stuff I did not ask for that stuff I just ask for a settlement plus child support I didnt even ask for alimony.

 

[Browndilocks]

My husband and I are in agreement I agreed for a settlement, I don't want to get involve with paying lawyers because I really don't have the money I agree to a certain figure but he agrees to a figure five thousand less then mine and said he would give me what i asked for but he will lower child support he pays 250 bi weekly wants to go down to 200 bi weekly. But will keep the 250 if I go down on the settlement. I am not in agreement I think they are two separate issues, my friends said I was being greedy how so. I am not getting anything out of the house except to live there for a few years (rent free) None of the pension, none of the401K or military payments. Plus none of the portion of the other money he has hidden away. should I just take him to court for child support. Or just leave it alone. I feel like I am being railroaded. But at the same time, I am going to live in our house for up to five years rent free. I have to pay everything else and I will get my settlement to bank and add to over the next few years I will be debt free by September 2008. He left me I didnt' leave him. Help will check back in a few hours at work. He sent me an email I have to respond to it soon.

Don't do this to yourself. Your situation in this one paragraph already sounds complaicated. Some sacrifices are just necessary. It is better to make the sacrifice of having a good lawyer to ensure that the rest of your life regarding this issue is peaceful, than reap years of future havoc or bitterness over an unsatifying settlement for whatever reasons...

Good luck to you.

 

[lexi08]

I believe its 10 years and we been together for over 20 but only married 9 years and he wants to get the divorce before its an official 9 years thereby making it 8 years. To my understanding I get a portion of the money a percentage not half or anything like that. I get a portion of his 401K and retirement and all that stuff I did not ask for that stuff I just ask for a settlement plus child support I didnt even ask for alimony.

I know you are upset.... I really do hope you feel better. I been there I do have an idea of how you are feeling. But don't think of your situation in terms of what you did or did not ask for.... ITS ABOUT WHAT YOU ARE LEGALLY ENTITLED TO. Please get a lawyer.

 

[Tamrin]

Girl please do your research and take your time. He did his homework you need to do yours. Do not shoot yourself in the foot.