Help: Dilemma about the guy who was on drugs "real bad"

[MissJ]

I signed up for Myspace last summer using my real name. For what, I do not know. I didn't put anything on the page, but when I added stuff I changed my name. Well, evidently, there was someone waiting to see if that was really my page, because when I put my pictures on there, he sent me a message. He was a friend that I had known from 6th to 12th grade, Luke.

He told me that some people had already started planning our class reunion. He said he'd go if I'd go. We sent messages to each other on and off. Recently, I told him that I remember when he use to wear MC Hammer pants every day. He said that he wore them all the way from 6th to 7th grade. He didn't know what he was thinking.

A few weeks later I messaged him and asked what he was wearing to the reunion. I thought he would say he didn't know, and then I'd suggest MC Hammer pants. Well, he beat me to that:

Luke: yeah, I got me a brand new pair of MC Hammer pants are you going to be my date? What are you going to wear?
Me: Something sassy but classy.
Luke: You didn't answer my other question.

I was caught off guard by that. He asked me about being his date, and then he was being persistent about it? I never knew him to have a relationship with a girl. Not that he was gay. The reunion is more than a year away. Why would he ask now?

Plus, he's white, and that would be controversial at our school. The only guys I liked in high school white, and they were mutual friends of ours. They didn't really care if people knew that they were interested in me, but that was only 2 of them. People mostly stuck with their own race. I remember once in 10th grade we went on a field trip to the Atlanta Zoo, and the guy who liked me, John Mark was with me the whole time. Well, Luke heard some people talking about us. He went right up to John Mark and told him that Heidi and Jessica were saying that he's been stuck up my a** all day.

Well, those were my first thoughts. Then I went back and read some of the messages he had sent to me last year.

Are you trying to say that I am not worth waiting on? I can't believe you. I will probably go to the class reunion, but I don't know when it is suppost to be or anything else. I haven't called Sharon back yet. Life is good now. I had a a pretty bad 5 or 6 years, but I have turned everything around and life is good now. I am working and going to Tech school at night. How is everything with you?

Well you see after high school I got on drugs real bad and got arrested alot and did a lot of things that I wish that I could go back and change' but I haven't had a drink or drug since June 12 2004.

Now you know why you didn't hear from me for like years right. I might shouldn't have told you that, you must be scared to talk to me now.

After hearing that, would you be his date at the reunion? I have a squeaky clean reputation, but I don't know how many people know that he was on drugs. I was shocked to hear that in first place.

 

[ThursdayGirl]

I signed up for Myspace last summer using my real name. For what, I do not know. I didn't put anything on the page, but when I added stuff I changed my name. Well, evidently, there was someone waiting see if that was really my page, because when I put my pictures on there, he sent me a message. He was a friend that I had known from 6th to 12th grade, Luke.

He told me that some people had already started planning our class reunion. He said he'd go if I'd go. We sent messages to each other on and off. Recently, I told him that I remember when he use to wear MC Hammer pants every day. He said that he wore them all the way from 6th to 7th grade. He didn't know what he was thinking.

A few weeks later I messaged him and asked what he was wearing to the reunion. I thought he would say he didn't know, and then I'd suggest MC Hammer pants. Well, he beat me to that:

Luke: yeah, I got me a brand new pair of MC Hammer pants are you going to be my date? What are you going to wear?
Me: Something sassy but classy.
Luke: You didn't answer my other question.

I was caught off guard by that. He asked me about being his date, and then he was being persistent about it? I never knew him to have a relationship with a girl. Not that he was gay. The reunion is more than a year away. Why would he ask now?

Plus, he's white, and that would be controversial at our school. The only guys I liked in high school white, and they were mutual friends of ours. They didn't really care if people knew that they were interested in me, but that was only 2 of them. People mostly stuck with their own race. I remember once in 10th grade we went on a field trip to the Atlanta Zoo, and the guy who liked me, John Mark was with me the whole time. Well, Luke heard some people talking about us. He went right up to John Mark and told him that Heidi and Jessica were saying that he's been stuck up my a** all day.

Well, those were my first thoughts. Then I went back and read some of the messages he had sent to me last year.



After hearing that, would you be his date at the reunion? I have a squeaky clean reputation, but I don't know how many people know that he was on drugs. I was shocked to hear that in first place.

Did I miss something? What happened to WaveCapGuy?

 

[MissJ]

I'd rather not say.

 

[GodsPromises]

Did I miss something? What happened to WaveCapGuy?

I was going to ask the same thing.

 

[N.P.R. Addict]

PME _LADY states the obvious but the subject your post has nothing to do with the title of the thread!

 

[Keen]

I'd rather not say.

I had the same question MissJ.

Regarding the original question. Tell him that one year is a long time from now and you don't want to stop any of you guys persuing a relationship in the midtime. It is not that he is not worth waiting for, things just happen. He may meet someone else he would rather take

 

[MissJ]

How does the post not have anything to do with the title of the thread? It's about the guy who was on drugs "real bad." That's what he told me.

I don't think he means date as in girlfriend/boyfriend. I mean to be his date at the reunion. He lives in Valdosta, Georgia. I live in Alabama. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be seeing him until the reunion if I go.

I don't want to say anything about WCG, because he could possibly come to this site and see what I said, not that it wouldn't be all true.

 

[Bunny77]

Yeah, I was also wondering about WCG! I'm sorry about whatever might have happened.

 

[CandiceC]

A lot can change in a year. Tell him you aren't able to commit to a date so far in advance of the event. If you don't want to go with him to the reunion at all then just say "no".

Who cares if interracial dating was controversial back in high school? It's a reunion. You're not in high school anymore.

 

[longhairgoal]

Miss J, I think you shouldn't even talk to the drugs guy. Interesting that he even mentioned it. I would wonder why he did.

 

[N.P.R. Addict]

How does the post not have anything to do with the title of the thread? It's about the guy who was on drugs "real bad." That's what he told me.

I don't think he means date as in girlfriend/boyfriend. I mean to be his date at the reunion. He lives in Valdosta, Georgia. I live in Alabama. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be seeing him until the reunion if I go.

I don't want to say anything about WCG, because he could possibly come to this site and see what I said, not that it wouldn't be all true.

Sorry about. Not sure how I missed that part.

 

[firecracker]

Miss J, I think you shouldn't even talk to the drugs guy. Interesting that he even mentioned it. I would wonder why he did.

Well I'd be damn happy he was having premature confession conversations. He probably is upfront with the info because others from their high school may have been privy to the information and blab it.
If he's recovered honesty and being upfront is a good thing for his sobriety. If someone holds it against him thats their choice and right.

ETA: I forgot to answer MsJ's question. He needs to ask the date question in 10 months. If you simply want a date to the reunion go with him but please get a room very close to the event and have plans for afterwards with your sister to get rid of him.

 

[ThursdayGirl]

A lot can change in a year. Tell him you aren't able to commit to a date so far in advance of the event. If you don't want to go with him to the reunion at all then just say "no".

Who cares if interracial dating was controversial back in high school? It's a reunion. You're not in high school anymore.

I agree with this post. Personally, I would be hesistant and something seems off about asking for a date a year in advance.

(sorry for asking about WCG, I just thought I had missed something.)

 

[MissJ]

Yeah, I was also wondering about WCG! I'm sorry about whatever might have happened.

Don't be sorry. Y'all would be glad that I broke up with him.

I may divulge some events later, but as for now his wounds are somewhat fresh.

 

[firecracker]

Don't be sorry. Y'all would be glad that I broke up with him.

I may divulge some events later, but as for now his wounds are somewhat fresh.

Dang sorry to hear about you guys. I was batting for ya'll. Time heals love wounds.

 

[Bunny77]

Don't be sorry. Y'all would be glad that I broke up with him.

I may divulge some events later, but as for now his wounds are somewhat fresh.

That's cool. Don't worry about saying anything that you're not ready to share. Just focus on healing.

As for this situation, I dunno if I'd make an agreement to be this guy's date at this point and if you are worried about the drugs situation, that's legitimate. I don't think you should care at all about the racial thing -- you're adults, you're not in high school and if you want to go on a date with him, then go. I'm sure the black men who want to bring a white woman aren't thinking twice about it...

However, that's not really the major issue here. A request a year in advance is a little odd to me, and I'd be quite wary about the drugs issue -- although it's just one date.

Dang, I don't know. Maybe the whole issue is too far in the future for me to really have a good answer about what you should do!

 

[SweetNic_JA]

Hey MissJ,

Had I posted in the "would you date someone who did drugs real bad" thread, I would have said "NO!!". So naturally I would advise you not to commit yourself to this guy for a class reunion or anything else. Who knows, maybe you'll meet a new guy who you'll want to take to your reunion.

 

[blue_flower]

A lot can change in a year. Tell him you aren't able to commit to a date so far in advance of the event. If you don't want to go with him to the reunion at all then just say "no".

Who cares if interracial dating was controversial back in high school? It's a reunion. You're not in high school anymore.

I agree with both statements.

 

[Mystery]

You mentioned that you don't remember him dating in high school. Is it possible that he is a little socially awkward and doesn't get that making the request a year out is a little odd? Or maybe he's just worried about going back and seeing all of those people and thinks that having you there will help. Class reunions can be hard for some people. I would just take some of the advice you got above and let him know that it's a great offer but you can't commit this far out. Ask him if you and he can discuss/confirm a bit closer to the event.

The drugs wouldn't bother me. He was asking you on a date for one night, not to get married. Although, you mentioned your squeaky clean reputation. Are you more concerned with people thinking that you have been on drugs too? If that's what's bothering you, then you have to think hard about does it really matter to you. It wouldn't matter to me because I don't care what others think.

Good luck. You have a while to make a real decision.

 

[longhairgoal]

Also, I didn't go to my 10-yr hs reunion, so I don't know, but do ppl take dates to class reunions?

 

[MissJ]

I will just tell him that it's too soon to be making dates for the reunion.

I don't know about him being socially awkward. I know that all the pictures of him on his myspace page is of him holding other people's kids. I asked who they were, and he said:

I didn't tell you, I have 3 kids by 3 different women. No I am just joking. Cameron is Brittany Fitzgeralds little boy.(Brandi Fitzgerald's little sister). Conner is Daphany Johnson's little boy(Stephanie Johnson's little sister). Natalie goes to church with me. That's my little girl friend.

So, evidently, he still talks to girls who went to our high school, but they are younger than we are and probably married. Plus, he goes to church.

I wonder what kind of drugs he was taking and if they were intravenous. erplexed