Good Guy - Bad Packaging... HELP!

[Lovelylife]

Maybe because I am so into fitness, but in my experience, being overweight is usually an outward manifestation of things that are going on internally, fear of failure, and a lack of discipline. I have helped clients lose weight, and I have learned that motivation has to come from within. I already know I can't be motivated enough for the both of us....

I agree. The weight shows a deep contrast in personality.

 

[luckiestdestiny]

Ugh, what a turnoff... everything you said already, but the bolded is the deciding factor for me... yeah, he might be there for you and sweet and all that, but the fact that you look a certain way is a large part of the reason why he's so nice to you.

Let you be 180 pounds and he wouldn't be Mr. Wonderful.

I wouldn't consider a 320-pound dude. Sorry. And I'm not even hung up on a dude having a perfect body, but 320 is way over my limit.

THIS is what raised my eyebrow.

Oh and the fact that you say he drinks like a fish too (doesn't seem like he's hubby material. I don't drink but I definitely don't begrudge others for doing so, but in MODERATION...I think that could lead to problems down the line). In addition, my uncle who was a wonderful guy, died at age 42 because he was overweight. The doctors warned him after his kidney transplant that he would have to keep the weight off (five big mac wrappers in his car daily according to my aunt clued her in to why he wasn't dropping). He cheated death too long but eventually it caught up to him. And though I love him and he was such a wonderful guy in every way I'm actually mad that his life was cut short from stupidity.

Don't get me wrong I actually had a short struggle with weight after being given radioactive iodine for my thyroid (having it completely destroyed) and quickly gained over 100 pounds in 3 months (which no matter what I ate I could not help). So I understand weight gain for unusual reasons.... BUT as soon as I started my synthroid (thyroid medicine) to help me to gain back my thyroid and my metabolism, I began to get that off. AND believe me I was the active lady who ran, did ballet but nothing in the world could've helped that and I went from 115-120 (my steady weight range) to over 229 pounds (stopped weighing myself after that). BUT as soon as my system was in balance I got that weight off and I'm back to 120 pounds gosh darn it. I don't PLAY with that because it's important to live a good life.

So his Obesity (that he refuses to change), plus drinking like a fish, plus superficiality leads me to think he isn't a great catch.

 

[ambergirl]

My ex husband was overweight, and I disillusioned myself into thinking that he would lose the weight or I would be able to look past it. His weight became one of the things that led to our divorce. I became obsessed with him losing weight- to the point where I started hiding food from him. It was awful.

Well girl you answered your own question right there. It sounds like weight is a huge (pardon the pun) issue for you. If that's the case then this one is a no brainer.

Let you be 180 pounds and he wouldn't be Mr. Wonderful.

Now that right there is some truth. It never ceases to amaze me how men who look like refrigerators with heads or have faces that crack mirrors have the nerve to be so picky about the looks of the women they date....not enough money in the world to put up with somebody's double standards in my opinion.

 

[TinyBlu]

I think you should let him go completely. He's only hanging around and accepting the friend role, because he hopes you'll change your mind. You're a trainer? Set him up with one of your "big girl" clients.

LOL!!! Guess what? He HATES big girls! How is it that a man that big likes not only small women, but Petite ones??? Can we say double standard?

 

[allygreeneyes]

If his weight is bothering you now, then judge how it would be if this relationship was to go any further.
Everyone has their preferences and yours just happens to not be him (or his size).
If it was me, I would have to cut him loose - don't like feeling obligated to anyone especially if we are not on the same page relationship wise.