He says he has a "crush" on your friend

Duchesse

Duchesse

Well-Known Member
Strictly hypothetical :rolleyes:

You are dating someone and while dating he has come over to hang out with you and your roommate on several occasions. You guys all have fun and shoot the breeze. You don't sense anything except that everybody gets along.

Fast forward to several months later and he has been drinking and tells you that he has a "harmless "crush on your friend and wants to let you know so that he can get it off his chest and so that it doesn't grow more. You get pissed off, curse him out, then he say's well he's just being honest and would rather tell you than keep it hidden.

WWYD??? Kick him to the curb?? Never invite him over ever again??
 
Been there done that....I was def hurt, but I stayed with him (we're talking 9th grade here LOL)....and eventually dumped him a couple of months later. So karma was served.
 
What would he tell you (hypothetically :rolleyes:) some stupid ish like that for?! I wouldnt dump him for my feeling jealous.

But I'd dump him for trying to play some stupid games like that. Think about it, he has to know that telling you would create awkwardness between you and the roomie or all 3. At the least upset you. That's mind game BS and dumpable offense #1.

And if he didnt think of any repercussions of (hypothetically :rolleyes:) telling you, then he's a dumbass. Dumbassedness is dumpable offense #2.
 
You've got a crush on Kerry Washington? Ha, ha! That's cute!

You've got a crush on Kelly Rowland? OK, yeah, I can see that. lol.

Wait, you've got a crush on the girl who is sitting to my left, right now on this couch? So basically we've actually been on a group date for all these months? And you know where she lives, her phone number, what she likes and dislikes? And you TELL me this? Mmm-mm. No. Not gonna have me feeling like Missy in the Middle.

Gotta bounce. :bouncegre
 
Pat Mahurr said:
You've got a crush on Kerry Washington? Ha, ha! That's cute!

You've got a crush on Kelly Rowland? OK, yeah, I can see that. lol.

Wait, you've got a crush on the girl who is sitting to my left, right now on this couch? So basically we've actually been on a group date for all these months? And you know where she lives, her phone number, what she likes and dislikes? And you TELL me this? Mmm-mm. No. Not gonna have me feeling like Missy in the Middle.

Gotta bounce. :bouncegre
Click to expand...

Thank you!!!! OMG! Now he got me thinking back on all the times we were hanging out...I'm thinking innocently...like dude..were you harboring feelings for how long?

I feel like that is definitely some mind game BS. And like how would I not be upset by that info? And he gave a weak arse justification too...now I feel like punching him.
 
I mean, was he hoping you'd suggest a threesome? Since y'all are already so close that is.

:rolleyes:

Nope, nope, nope. Wouldn't work. B/c every time they talked, I'd be wondering. And I require peace in my home.
 
Duchesse said:
Thank you!!!! OMG! Now he got me thinking back on all the times we were hanging out...I'm thinking innocently...like dude..were you harboring feelings for how long?

I feel like that is definitely some mind game BS. And like how would I not be upset by that info? And he gave a weak arse justification too...now I feel like punching him.
Click to expand...

So... this wasn't hypothetical. I can't tell you to dump him, but I'd start distancing myself from him.
 
I think Duchesse was being sarcastic when she put "strictly hypothetical"... peep the :rolleyes: smilie at the end of her phrase.

But to answer your question, I would not stay with this guy after he told you he had a crush on your friend. He may try to start some type of relationship with her behind your back.
 
Or he gave you this bomb so you could dump him and leave him free to go after her. Guys are not good with being the dumper. This way they don't feel as guilty when they go about their mess.
 
Thanks ladies for your input. The sad part is I've attempted dumping him like 3 times already...he just keeps sneaking his way back in to my heart :/ But I need to stop putting up with his disrespect. This last incident I can't overlook.
 
This is why you never bring friends to meet/hangout with you and your man, especially in the beginning.

Sent from my lavish iPhone
 
Duchesse said:
Thanks ladies for your input. The sad part is I've attempted dumping him like 3 times already...he just keeps sneaking his way back in to my heart :/ But I need to stop putting up with his disrespect. This last incident I can't overlook.
Click to expand...

Stop having sex with him and he'll detox out of your system.
 
You all had me thinking about this all evening.

IDK, if it would mean much to me. It's possible for someone you're involved with to be smitten with someone else (I think some of you would agree). The complication comes in when he actually TELLS you this. What is the goal? Did you all discuss why he felt the need to tell on himself? Are the feelings so strong that he can't control himself? lol
On one hand it is reckless and on another it could be showing openess. Would it make me feel uncomfortable yes, but I'd rather know. Not a deal breaker for me but then again....I'm one of those overly understanding folk *gulp*

ETA- Is this the only issue with him?
 
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Wouldn't work for me. I like to look at people's intent for saying certain things. I can't see any good intent coming from him telling you this, esp. if you're just dating. Also, how is telling you allowing it "not to grow anymore"? That would be a personal thing that he'd have to deal with anyway, regardless if you knew.

Naw, dude is shady. Men lie about the stupidest things, but wants to tell you about a "harmless crush"? GTFOH!
 
it happens all the time..which is why i think when dating at least as in the early stages ppl should hang out one on one...
 
Fine 4s said:
You all had me thinking about this all evening.

IDK, if it would mean much to me. It's possible for someone you're involved with to be smitten with someone else (I think some of you would agree). The complication comes in when he actually TELLS you this. What is the goal? Did you all discuss why he felt the need to tell on himself? Are the feelings so strong that he can't control himself? lol
On one hand it is reckless and on another it could be showing openess. Would it make me feel uncomfortable yes, but I'd rather know. Not a deal breaker for me but then again....I'm one of those overly understanding folk *gulp*

ETA- Is this the only issue with him?
Click to expand...

Fine 4s

This is what I was trying to explain to him. While I appreciate his "honesty" I suppose...there was no positive result from him telling me other than he "needed to get something off his chest"...""that he just was being honest"..Especially if it's so innocent he could've kept it to himself. I told him that it was selfish of him and that he didn't think about how I would feel after hearing this..esp since we all would literally just chill together on occasion for almost the year we've been dealing with e/o(never again happening with him or any other future man:nono:).

Then the ***** had the nerve to tell me (after I cursed him out and damn near gave him a lashing) that he likes when I get jealous. wtf!? So when I give a hypothetical what if I told him the same about his friend B, then all this drama about how he feel crazy when I talk about other men.

Gosh,,just typing this makes me see how stupid and immature the whole thing is. :ohwell:
 
When my BFF died in 2009..after the funeral her bf was really drunk and went on about his secret crush and how he's always fantasized about sleeping with me blah blah. most awarkward ish. I told him he was grieving and ignored him. He was all like are you saying im ugly or something :blah: :blah: then he was knocked out. seriously. really drunk.

I think women should try to get whomever they are dating drunk. the4n see what you find out.

ever
**SaSSy** said:
This is why you never bring friends to meet/hangout with you and your man, especially in the beginning.

Sent from my lavish iPhone
Click to expand...

That sounds silly. do you hide siblings too?
 
**SaSSy** said:
This is why you never bring friends to meet/hangout with you and your man, especially in the beginning.

Sent from my lavish iPhone
Click to expand...

Yep...although it is a good way to see what kind of people you're dealing with.

I brought a friend along on a date relatively early in a relationship and she turned it OUT. Tying cherry stems with her tongue, rubbing all up on his thighs, back, arms, giggling in his face, boobage hanging out all over the place. And the dude was all into it.

I was cool that night but the next day I sent both of them each others phone numbers and wished them the best. Never dealt with him or her again.
 
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