He Let Her Laugh In My Face

G

golden1

Active Member
I am very upset because my ex came back in my life then I dumped him last week. Well some days ago a long time fling of his, his ex girl called my phone harassing me talking about she is not interested in him because he is with me. So then I told her if you all have been messing around for over 15 years he is not going to marry you. so in her mind she set out to prove that he wants her. She called him on 3 way and I brought up that he called me asking me to have his baby and get married and buy a house. He told me to get out of here. He acted like he did not know what I was talking about and then she said ah ha like a child. Mind you she is 42 and a grandmother. I feel terrible. Karma does not seem to come around to people.

My question is what is it that I am truly feeling bad about? Could it be that he gave her the satisfaction or what could it be?
 
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I got a headache reading this. Please run in the opposite direction from this guy. Be thankful that there are no children or finances tied up in this. Let his long-time love have him and move on.
 
Cut ties with this "man." I am sorry this happened to you. You deserve better.

You feel bad because he denied the truth. That is understandable. Plus, to have her laughing in your face like that had to hurt. I know it won't be easy but do your best to let go. (((HUGS)))
 
Damn. :nono:

You probably feel bad because while you know the truth, it looks to the ex-fling like you got played.

BUT, you really shouldn't have entertained any of this to begin with. She shouldn't have had a chance to call anyone up on no 3 way, that's some high school mess.
 
You are right mzlady but I was so caught off guard. I am a meek person and do not get into situations like this so I just froze and I look stupid now and feel even worse.

All of you are right. I hope the pain and anger I feel will subside soon.
 
golden1 said:
You are right mzlady but I was so caught off guard. I am a meek person and do not get into situations like this so I just froze and I look stupid now and feel even worse.

All of you are right. I hope the pain and anger I feel will subside soon.
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:bighug:

Understandable. But now you know what dude is really about and you can be done with him for good. Rarely do situations where you get back with your ex work out.
 
You are embarrassed and you think she got 1 up on you. However, you should count yourself lucky to be rid of him/her.
 
Remember, he is NO prize!! Even though she thinks she has one. If you continue to deal with him after that then he will NEVER respect you. Hate to say it but he already doesn't respect you (or her). I feel really bad for you and I know it had to hurt. But sometimes hearing the truth is better to hear now than what could come later, like if you actually DID marry him or have kids together and find out how he was a liar.

Please don't let him try to sweet talk you and say he didn't mean it. I know the more you think about how he blatantly lied in your face you will begin to feel disgusted by him. You're hurt now and may not feel it but please stay busy and wait for that disgusted feeling to sink in and you will be JUST fine. Trust me.

Please read this. It helped me yesterday and I hope it helps you. Also, read all of the other articles that will really help you.

http://baggagereclaim.com/
 
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Hairsnob said:
Remember, he is NO prize!! Even though she thinks she has one. If you continue to deal with him after that then he will NEVER respect you. Hate to say it but he already doesn't respect you (or her). I feel really bad for you and I know it had to hurt. But sometimes hearing the truth is better to hear now than what could come later, like if you actually DID marry him or have kids together and find out how he was a liar.

Please don't let him try to sweet talk you and say he didn't mean it. I know the more you think about how he blatantly lied in your face you will begin to feel disgusted by him. You're hurt now and may not feel it but please stay busy and wait for that disgusted feeling to sink in and you will be JUST fine. Trust me.

Please read this. It helped me yesterday and I hope it helps you. Also, read all of the other articles that will really help you.

http://baggagereclaim.com/
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Yes, BC is the "Truf".
 
You just feel humiliated that's all, your ego is bruised. Make sure you make no contact with this guy ever again
 
MzLady78 said:
BUT, you really shouldn't have entertained any of this to begin with. She shouldn't have had a chance to call anyone up on no 3 way, that's some high school mess.
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But at the same time, had she not done the 3 way, I would not have never had a chance to see the betrayal in my face as he denied things in front of her. That was the gift in it all. Her calling didn't make feel this way, his response is what is pushing me to the point of disgust. I was with him for 3 years and then we were apart for almost 3 years. By him doing that, it put my feelings for him like they were the day before we ever started dealing with each other.

I just need to find a way to get this anger and hurt off of me so that he doesnt even come up in my mind. I am finding that I have lost thoughts of him but the event keeps going round and round in my heart and head. It happened Monday but by now I should be feeling better but I dont.
 
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Time will make you feel better. It may not seem like it will, but time does heal a broken hurt. Feel Better. :)

India
 
Been there done that. He is playing you both. Run. You are worth more than anything he can offer. How old are you and how old is he?

Sent from somewhere over the rainbow
 
MzLady78 said:
You already know, I honestly can't plug that site enough.

I bet if I started from the very beginning, I probably wouldn't even need to pay for therapy anymore. :lol:
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I have been working backwards, I am in about June 2012. I was aware of the site for about 2 years but never read it consistently. She posts every other day and I read it every night in the bed on my phone. On the weekends is when I review old posts and sometimes get a gem from the responses. I am glad that about 90% of the folks are respectful, even if I don't agree with their posts.
 
Mortons said:
42 and playing games? I would have laughed at her to the point that there would be no talking
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Better yet. I wouldn't have been on the phone long enough to verify anything with anyone. Neither of them, especially his ratchet self, wouldn't have had the pleasure of speaking to me EVER again.

golden1 said:
He and I are both 33.
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I was talking with a coworker of mine, who is 40, and I'm 36. We were talking about how we always thought when we were younger, that as we got older, life would become more "mature" We talked about how people are doing the same things in life after they are grown as they did in highschool. I am guilty of it too, so don't think I'm judging. I've been in the same position you were in. . .believing some man's crap, knowing in my heart of hearts that he wasn't about anything different.

Remove yourself from the situation completely. grieve over it. hurt, cry, or whatever you need to do, but accept that you got played like a fool. . . but remember that only a fool can be played(again, not knocking you because I've been the fool more than I care to admit)

he is not worth your thoughts, your time, your energy, your anything.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nTUjuSNKO_Y&list=UUkwdk8T8kJAzH7CusCv8QoA&index=2
 
golden1 said:
You are right mzlady but I was so caught off guard. I am a meek person and do not get into situations like this so I just froze and I look stupid now and feel even worse.

All of you are right. I hope the pain and anger I feel will subside soon.
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I don't quite believe this. Why? A meek person wouldn't have tried to show off to the other ex. You tried to egg her face and it backfired into yours. Note to all women:

Stop Trying To Compete With Other Women For A No-Good Sucker Male!
 
JaneBond007 said:
I don't quite believe this. Why? A meek person wouldn't have tried to show off to the other ex. You tried to egg her face and it backfired into yours. Note to all women:

Stop Trying To Compete With Other Women For A No-Good Sucker Male!
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And I never do and that is why I feel even dumber. I fed into the mess by even listening. I should have hung up but when I thought about it, I did not want to seem weak or like I could not handle myself.

I just feel like I lost my dignity and crushed my image and classiness by even listening or even staying on the phone while she clicked over. The damage is done I guess I have to just let time's sand brush over the shore of this situation.
 
golden1 said:
And I never do and that is why I feel even dumber. I fed into the mess by even listening. I should have hung up but when I thought about it, I did not want to seem weak or like I could not handle myself.

I just feel like I lost my dignity and crushed my image and classiness by even listening or even staying on the phone while she clicked over. The damage is done I guess I have to just let time's sand brush over the shore of this situation.
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Chile, you being way to hard on yourself for real. Stop being so concerned with what others think of you, take this as a lesson learned and move on.
 
Mai Tai said:
Chile, you being way to hard on yourself for real. Stop being so concerned with what others think of you, take this as a lesson learned and move on.
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Thanks, I really needed that it made me feel so much better.

The thing is that it did not stop there. The next day after she called me he emailed me and was hateful to me and basically also badgering me as well because he is still angry I cut him loose last week. He called me a "lonely heart having b****". I called him a loser and scum. I feel bad for stooping to that level despite him calling me names.

So it's more than just what she said that has been bothering me, it is also the exchange between he and I as well.
 
golden1 said:
Thanks, I really needed that it made me feel so much better.

The thing is that it did not stop there. The next day after she called me he emailed me and was hateful to me and basically also badgering me as well because he is still angry I cut him loose last week. He called me a "lonely heart having b****". I called him a loser and scum. I feel bad for stooping to that level despite him calling me names.

So it's more than just what she said that has been bothering me, it is also the exchange between he and I as well.
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It's ok. We all sometimes act out of character...Especially when wounded, but I hope you realize that you have more control over this situation then you realize, and you have FULL control over your emotions and the level of pain you choose to feel.

I hope you cut off ALL contact with this man. Stop allowing him to create havoc in your life by talking to him via email, text, etc.

ETA: Do some soul searching and really think about why you didn't simply delete his email.
 
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golden1 said:
Thanks, I really needed that it made me feel so much better.

The thing is that it did not stop there. The next day after she called me he emailed me and was hateful to me and basically also badgering me as well because he is still angry I cut him loose last week. He called me a "lonely heart having b****". I called him a loser and scum. I feel bad for stooping to that level despite him calling me names.

So it's more than just what she said that has been bothering me, it is also the exchange between he and I as well.
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Cut him off... No communication, no nothing!!! Let him be angry alone... He can't get to you that way. Some men think that some form of communication is better than no communication at all. I guarantee you that if u continue to respond to him, his tone will change. He'll apologize for the things he said and basically try to open that door back up.

Also OP... He probably lied to that girl because he wants to keep that door open with her. Remember you closed it by dumping him. He's selfish and messy (because he brings MESS)... You don't have to be a part of that! Don't beat yourself up for responding to her or him... Just don't allow yourself to do it again. Let them have each other!
 
Unfortunately immaturity and being messy is ageless.

While I know you are hurting, count it as a blessing. Because if you strip away all the words what you'll find is that you were given knowledge and that is invaluable. Drop this man, show them both you are above all that nonsense and when he tries to come back to you...you will get the last laugh.
 
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