He is getting on my nerves!

[Danene5]

My boyfriend and I are in a long distance relationship. This makes it difficult for us to see each other. We live 4hours apart, there is a state between us. Everytime we try to coordinate meetings for the last 3 months nothing has worked. I give him time and we set a date. As the date approaches he says, my family is coming to town, I am going to Carowinds, or I have a modeling shoot. The last time he stated that because I wanted to go to church on Sunday that we should met at a different time. Today he called and wanted me to meet up with him. I have tried planning romantic getaways for the two of us but he feels that he doesn't want to go. Then he complains that we don't see each other enough. But my plans aren't good enough, but he won't make any plans at all. I told him that if he wants us to meet up since my plans never go as planned that he should make the decisions from now on. Today he is mad because I said where and when. And of course he doesn't have a plan this time. What can I do to make this better?

 

[Ms Red]

Personally, I would do nothing. You are bending over backwards with ideas and plans and he is shooting them down left and right. My thinking is 'don't disagree unless you have a better solution.'

I would stick to my guns and do nothing. If he wants to see you, he will find a way or make a plan, JMO.

 

[Miss*Tress]

I was in a similar relationship a few years ago and I just told him to stop calling me if he couldn't be bothered to come and see me. I was so disappointed...

 

[Integrity]

Personally, I would do nothing. You are bending over backwards with ideas and plans and he is shooting them down left and right. My thinking is 'don't disagree unless you have a better solution.'

I would stick to my guns and do nothing. If he wants to see you, he will find a way or make a plan, JMO.

I agree! You also know where you stand in the relationship if he backs off too

 

[naijaGal]

I agree with the earlier responses. You need to hang back and see what he comes up with. If you do all the running around seems like you're the one trying to maintain the relationship. Do you really know that he wants to be with you?

Sit back and let him strive for ur affections but be prepared for whatever happens good or bad.

 

[adf23]

I agree with cupcake. Try not rowing the boat for a while. If it sinks, you will know you were the one making all the effort to begin with. If he starts picking up the slack, you will know going forward to let him initiate your meetings (for the most part).

Sounds to me like he is used to you doing the initiating. Next time he says "we haven't seen each other in a long time" I would say "Yeah...." and change the subject. He is saying this for you to once again, present suggestions on how to see each other.

 

[Integrity]

My boyfriend and I are in a long distance relationship. This makes it difficult for us to see each other. We live 4hours apart, there is a state between us. Everytime we try to coordinate meetings for the last 3 months nothing has worked. I give him time and we set a date. As the date approaches he says, my family is coming to town, I am going to Carowinds, or I have a modeling shoot. The last time he stated that because I wanted to go to church on Sunday that we should met at a different time. Today he called and wanted me to meet up with him. I have tried planning romantic getaways for the two of us but he feels that he doesn't want to go. Then he complains that we don't see each other enough. But my plans aren't good enough, but he won't make any plans at all. I told him that if he wants us to meet up since my plans never go as planned that he should make the decisions from now on. Today he is mad because I said where and when. And of course he doesn't have a plan this time. What can I do to make this better?

Please forgive me for being so direct....his backing and forthing and stalling seems quite odd and suspect. Do you think someone else is involved on his side that you may not know about?

 

[MissYocairis]

I agree with cupcake. Try not rowing the boat for a while. If it sinks, you will know you were the one making all the effort to begin with. If he starts picking up the slack, you will know going forward to let him initiate your meetings (for the most part).

Sounds to me like he is used to you doing the initiating. Next time he says "we haven't seen each other in a long time" I would say "Yeah...." and change the subject. He is saying this for you to once again, present suggestions on how to see each other.

ITA with Cupcake and adf....listen to these ladies and do EXACTLY as they are instructing. It's gonna be okay. Calm down and put your pimp boots on sweetie!

 

[Empress Yahudah]

Please forgive me for being so direct....his backing and forthing and stalling seems quite odd and suspect. Do you think someone else is involved on his side that you may not know about?

Yep That's what I was thinking .. Or he is making a no win situation so that things will fade away and use it as an excuse that its not workin

If he REALY wants to see u and spend time with u HE WILL MAKE THE TIME.
I say move on.

 

[Trinity1]

My boyfriend and I are in a long distance relationship. This makes it difficult for us to see each other. We live 4hours apart, there is a state between us. Everytime we try to coordinate meetings for the last 3 months nothing has worked. I give him time and we set a date. As the date approaches he says, my family is coming to town, I am going to Carowinds, or I have a modeling shoot. The last time he stated that because I wanted to go to church on Sunday that we should met at a different time. Today he called and wanted me to meet up with him. I have tried planning romantic getaways for the two of us but he feels that he doesn't want to go. Then he complains that we don't see each other enough. But my plans aren't good enough, but he won't make any plans at all. I told him that if he wants us to meet up since my plans never go as planned that he should make the decisions from now on. Today he is mad because I said where and when. And of course he doesn't have a plan this time. What can I do to make this better?

I think the fact that you stated the below comment should make you think twice about the future of the relationship.
"I have tried planning romantic getaways for the two of us but he feels that he doesn't want to go."

 

[reallynow]

I agree with everyone else, pump your brakes and see how he reacts...his reaction will tell you everything!

 

[lexi08]

I would put the brakes on the relationship..... I believe he is setting you up in a no win situation in an effort to end the relationship in a very sly way and blame you for it. If this man wanted to see you he would make time. He is making too many excuses. Been there done that ...... Like CBC said put on your pimp boots girl!!! This is what bothers me about dating certain men, If you want to move on why not man up and tell the truth.... why try to create a situation that he can try to slither out of like a friggin snake?......

 

[caribeandiva]

yep, STOP!!! you're bending over backwards for him and he's testing you to see how far you'll go for him. Stop planning activities and let him do all the work from now on. Listen to the other ladies. His behavior seems shady to me.