He Doesn't Remember the Last Time he had SEX?!?!

virgo_chinwe said:
LOL...and the worst part is for someone who can't answer that question he is so eager to get to business. He's attempted twice unsuccessfully and each time w/o a condom....like I know where he has been...yeah....Maybe I should follow my gut about this guy...Guys are so deaf---I told him not to expect anything out of a commitment and he tries anyway...ay yi yi
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RED FLAG!!!!!! Y'all aren't even in a committed relationship and he is ok with getting it raw!!:nono:
 
I was going to say that maybe he's being a gentleman, until I read the part about him trying sencerely to get at you....bare back? Uh no ^^^^ like she said RED FLAG!!! RUN!!!
 
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Oh wow! Yeah as the last few ladies stated that is a big red flag on the play! Not only does that say something about his character but it also gives you a little idea of what the last time might have been like. Can't believe he tried himself..he's all paper! Atleast you found out before you went too deep.

Edit: Who knows why he tried it but he did and thats enough. Being as forward as he was I doubt there was any reason other than him being an ***.
 
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virgo_chinwe said:
Do you think he felt like it was okay b/c i dont have a long slate?
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No I think he doesn't care one way or the other. He just wants to hit it raw which is a major red flag. I would question his judgment because in 2009 having unprotected sex with someone you aren't committed to and whose test result you haven't seen is just not wise.
 
virgo_chinwe said:
Ugh....I was afraid of that....but why wouldn't he tell me? When I inquired about it again....he was like "I just dont think about and I really dont remember, PERIOD"....I was like excuse me! He basically played it off on me..like I was a bug-a-boo for asking?
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maybe he sleeps with his wife/girlfriend everyday but if he answered your question then you would know about her. the only reason that i can think that he would actively avoid the question is because he may not want you to know how recent it's been or that he's not hurting for female attention....or maybe he has erectile dysfunction and doesn't do it at all
 
virgo_chinwe said:
LOL...and the worst part is for someone who can't answer that question he is so eager to get to business. He's attempted twice unsuccessfully and each time w/o a condom....like I know where he has been...yeah....Maybe I should follow my gut about this guy...Guys are so deaf---I told him not to expect anything out of a commitment and he tries anyway...ay yi yi
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that seems like a red flag. if he was willing to jump in head first with you even though you are just getting to know each other, there are likely others that he is willing to take the risk with as well who are easier to get to b/c they don't live so far away
 
virgo_chinwe said:
Do you think he felt like it was okay b/c i dont have a long slate?
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doesn't matter b/c you could have been born with HIV and/or could have slept with only one person who just happened to infect you with something....he should still know better if he's old enough to be educated and have his own business (unless he made that up too) but if he's not thinking like that with you, then he's not thinking like that with anyone
 
He lie to you because the answer was most likely within the last 24 hours before coming in contact with you. If he would have told you the truth and said "this morning". You would have said "with who?" Then he would have said "my girlfriend/my wife/a prostitute/some girl I do not know."
 
Urm, I'm married, have sex on the regular, and don't remember the last time I had sex. :lachen: It was most likely Saturday, but - *shrug* - if someone I was just talking to - not dating, not talking about starting a committed relationship with, and certainly not exclusive - asked me when the last time I had sex was, I would tell them it was none of their damn business. My STD status - their business. My last encounter? Nunya. So what if it was this morning? And? We ain't exclusive. You want my sex life to be limited? We need to be exclusive, then.

I think he was trying to politely tell you it wasn't none of your business. And if you really believe he's only had sex with five women, I've got a bridge in New York City - going cheap, too. :nono: I don't even understand why you would ask such questions. :nono:

HUGE red flag that he's tried to have sex with you - twice - without a condom, though.
 
my SO told me the same thing. it bothers me sooooooo much. I'm like how do you not remember? lik did u *** so much that it all jus blended together? He has an approximate time but no real answer. I've been wit him for over a yr and still get the same answer. its not lik im gonna yell or anything. I just want an answer.

we hav mutual friends and from wat they've said it was awhile b4 we met but he had a hoish past and i jus cant get over how u dont kno.:wallbash:

idk y it bothers me so much b/c im not even completely sure i want 2 kno:ohwell:
 
Letta said:
my SO told me the same thing. it bothers me sooooooo much. I'm like how do you not remember? lik did u *** so much that it all jus blended together? He has an approximate time but no real answer. I've been wit him for over a yr and still get the same answer. its not lik im gonna yell or anything. I just want an answer.

we hav mutual friends and from wat they've said it was awhile b4 we met but he had a hoish past and i jus cant get over how u dont kno.:wallbash:

idk y it bothers me so much b/c im not even completely sure i want 2 kno:ohwell:
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you still want to know when is the last time he had sex before you over a year ago?
 
I went out with a guy who asked me that same question and lets just say he would not have liked the answer, so I hit him with the I Dont Know because a) I was put on the spot b) its not a normal question to ask c)the answer was really none of his business
 
I agree that was a weird question to ask someone you don't know very well! I probably would have said the same thing, even if I did know the answer. :nono:

AND I'm nowhere near a pro at this relationship business, but it's definitely a red flag if dude is repeatedly trying to sleep with you without a condom. :nono:
 
virgo_chinwe said:
So, I am talking to this guy. He's super dreamy and gorgeous. I am still trying to figure out if this is more infatuated vs something that could develop into a serious relationship. We have been talking since July. He lives in Louisiana so it would be a long distance relationship. We have alternated in flying down to visit each other. We have not had sex and to be honest I don't think I plan to. I am very open up sex questions especially with guys I am interested in physically and so i inquired about his last intercourse and he said he didn't remember?!?! A DUDE!?!? NOT remember?? Does he think I am fool. I am not his gf. And I am not stupid--he lives 8 hours away and hes attractive if he wanted some I am sure he could. Why lie to me? And to make matters even worse. Most of our communication is via text and not daily communication at that. Our communication goes thru droughts and then it can be really intense. I dunno...I am not 100% about this guy...he seems wonderful on paper...but maybe he's only that? And I am not going to lie---he's packing which makes me slightly intrigued. Hes 23, has his own business, is in grad school, is an alpha, and an apo---little character evaluation.
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Maybe he doesn't want to answer the question. I mean, you guys are just at the getting to know you stage and maybe he doesn't want to scare you away by saying, "well, yesterday, I had a one night stand but I was drunk so, I really don't count that...but last week, I had some pretty good sex with an old friend. :yep:"

I mean...if a man asked me that in the getting to know you stage, that moffo wouldn't get an answer. Plus, men with any class don't kiss and tell.

Further, why do you need to know when he had sex last if you guys aren't even at that exclusive stage yet? And, just because he said, "I don't remember" doesn't translate into some major affront against you. He just doesn't wanna answer. Don't take it so personally.
 
^^^^true dat.

I know that if I was asked that question and he isn't my man nor were we intimate, I would tell him it was personal. But if he truly has all those credentials that you listed, he more than likely has a local piece.
 
Hmm....I can respect some of your comments, but after four months of talking and viewing parts of my goods...and flying back 400 miles each way to see each other on different occassions--- I really think my question is fair game. I don't think I would continue an interrogation w/ who and where---b/c I probably don't know who it is and where is really irrelevant. And as far his number being five...its possible. I know guys my age that are still virgins and I have male friends that have less partners than eyes.... :)

Honestly, if we had our STD status stapled to our heads---I wouldn't care if he slept w/ a thousand women.
 
idk why you asked that question. "how many people have you been with?" yes. "when were you last tested?" yes. but "when was the last time you had sex?" no. its just a strange question to ask (and my response would have been why?) and idk if you have the right to be so angry that he is refusing to answer. :-/
 
Call me crazy, I don't think that is a bad question to ask. I would want to know. Maybe the OP is leaving some information out. They have been talking to each other for four months have flied back and forth.
Shoot, that's a question I would ask. I would want to know what I was dealing with - especially before I took the effort to fly to see him. Maybe I ask too many questions. Or maybe most women don't ask enough. Am I missing something?
If I am flying to YOUR town to see you, yes I want to know. Just in case the local piece tries to come by while I'm there or if I'm out with him and somebody is shooting me dirty looks. I want to know what is going on BEFOREhand.
Even if not flying to his town, I would want to know. The fact that he did not answer it would be a problem for me. Well, it would let me know that I would NOT be sleeping with him.
I don't think there is a problem with both people asking each other who they are currently sleeping with and/or the last time they slept with someone. It's a good question. The answer can give you a LOT of clues. Sure people can lie about it, but hey, I would ask.
Maybe it's just me, but how many of ya'll have found out something on the back end and the dude says, "well you didn't ask." Or how many of ya'll have asked a question later- received an honest answer- and said, "dang,why didn't I ask that months ago."
It could be that he thinks its an uncouth question, it could be it was a long time ago, it could be that it was yesterday and he does not want to say that. If it's honesty you want - he's not giving it to you - so whatever you do make sure you act with that in mind.
 
virgo_chinwe said:
Hmm....I can respect some of your comments, but after four months of talking and viewing parts of my goods...and flying back 400 miles each way to see each other on different occassions--- I really think my question is fair game. I don't think I would continue an interrogation w/ who and where---b/c I probably don't know who it is and where is really irrelevant. And as far his number being five...its possible. I know guys my age that are still virgins and I have male friends that have less partners than eyes.... :)

Honestly, if we had our STD status stapled to our heads---I wouldn't care if he slept w/ a thousand women.
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then just ask him his STD status and move on from there. If you are not in a relationship and not interested in being in one, I'm not sure how the "when" would provide relevant information. what if his last time was like 2 years ago, but that woman gave him herpasyphilaids? timing has little to do with STD status. to me, the timing question indicates that you would be upset if he slept with someone else within certain range because you have relationship on your mind. you can't tell me you wouldn't be upset if this guy that has been flying to see you just slept with someone yesterday. he knows that too, which is why you got the answer that you got. you mentioned the flying back and forth and seeing body parts as if that meant he had some obligation to answer you question because of those things. you have every right to feel the way that you do, but obligations come with certain relationship statuses. if you are just friends, then visiting and view body parts doesn't mean you are obligated to each other in the same way that two people in a relationship are
 
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I agree, it's totally possible for a 23 year old man to have only 5 partners.

I also agree that he may not remember. Do people really write down the dates/times when they have sex? He may know that it was last month, a few months ago, or last year but either way, it's possible that he does not know the date/time/week of the last time he had sex if he is a single guy and not in a live-in relationship where sex is available all day/everyday.

As for him trying to have sex with you twice, maybe he really has not had sex in a long time & he was testing his luck. The no condom sex part though, PROBLEM..... unless he did in fact have condoms with him but did not want to seem "prepared" by having one on already and then be thrown out for having a condom on.
 
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bellezanegra826 said:
then just ask him his STD status and move on from there. If you are not in a relationship and not interested in being in one, I'm not sure how the "when" would provide relevant information. what if his last time was like 2 years ago, but that woman gave him herpasyphilaids? timing has little to do with STD status. to me, the timing question indicates that you would be upset if he slept with someone else within certain range because you have relationship on your mind. you can't tell me you wouldn't be upset if this guy that has been flying to see you just slept with someone yesterday. he knows that too, which is why you got the answer that you got. you mentioned the flying back and forth and seeing body parts as if that meant he had some obligation to answer you question because of those things. you have every right to feel the way that you do, but obligations come with certain relationship statuses. if you are just friends, then visiting and view body parts doesn't mean you are obligated to each other in the same way that two people in a relationship are
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I agree 100%. How many partners, and when he last had sex doesn't determine his STD status. If you truly wanted to know that, then you would have asked about his status.

OP, seems like you are catching feelings, and you want to know if there is much competition (other girls). Be careful getting caught up with a man who hasn't made it official.

I hope he is paying for your flights because flying out to see a man who isn't a serious boyfriend/fiance/husband is a bit much. That's girlfriend/wife activities. If you are seeking to be his girlfriend, that don't act like one until you have the title.

Hope you don't take my post personally, but just offering friendly advice.
 
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My SO said is normal for guys not to remember the last time they had sex. All they need to remember is birthdays and anniversaries.
 
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