He Doesn't Remember the Last Time he had SEX?!?!

virgo_chinwe

virgo_chinwe

Well-Known Member
So, I am talking to this guy. He's super dreamy and gorgeous. I am still trying to figure out if this is more infatuated vs something that could develop into a serious relationship. We have been talking since July. He lives in Louisiana so it would be a long distance relationship. We have alternated in flying down to visit each other. We have not had sex and to be honest I don't think I plan to. I am very open up sex questions especially with guys I am interested in physically and so i inquired about his last intercourse and he said he didn't remember?!?! A DUDE!?!? NOT remember?? Does he think I am fool. I am not his gf. And I am not stupid--he lives 8 hours away and hes attractive if he wanted some I am sure he could. Why lie to me? And to make matters even worse. Most of our communication is via text and not daily communication at that. Our communication goes thru droughts and then it can be really intense. I dunno...I am not 100% about this guy...he seems wonderful on paper...but maybe he's only that? And I am not going to lie---he's packing which makes me slightly intrigued. Hes 23, has his own business, is in grad school, is an alpha, and an apo---little character evaluation.
 
soulie said:
"I don't remember" is code for "I don't intend to tell you".
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Ugh....I was afraid of that....but why wouldn't he tell me? When I inquired about it again....he was like "I just dont think about and I really dont remember, PERIOD"....I was like excuse me! He basically played it off on me..like I was a bug-a-boo for asking?
 
What? How could you he not remember the last time he inserted himself into a woman? I can cut him slack for not remembering what he had for breakfast yesterday but not to remember the last time he had sex. Try again buddy. From what you wrote he is attractive on paper and is dreamy but communication is important. Good luck! I hope you find someone local willing to be honest.
 
Nah....he definitely isn't one...he told me the number of partners he has had. Which surprisingly wasn't bad for a guy, which was five...but who knows...he could be lying?
 
I have to admit that I would be a little taken aback if someone asked me that question.

Are you trying to find out if he's dating other people? If so, then maybe just him that.
 
Maybe he doesnt remember because he doesn't remember the girl or like myself it wasn't memorable..I hope he gets he act together..and that you see past the paper niceness and get to root and see if there is any substance
 
That's not a question I would take too kindly to being asked, as it is no one's business but my own. You're not his girlfriend, so it really doesn't matter.

I usually take it for granted that a 23 year old male does have sex fairly regularly, especially one that is as accomplished as you say he is. The details are unimportant. When you start asking who did you last sleep with, how many partners have you had, is it big, etc. it's a setup for failure.
 
it happens, i dont remember the last time i had sex with my ex
 
Don't get me wrong ladies. I enjoy his company apart from the physical attraction. And honestly, sleeping with him is definitely not a priority...but I don't think honesty is too much to ask for especially since he has name dropped that he wants our relationship to progress into something more serious....with a more serious relationship..ensues more serious questions....
 
Catlady100 said:
I have to admit that I would be a little taken aback if someone asked me that question.

Are you trying to find out if he's dating other people? If so, then maybe just him that.
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No not really...b/c I have openedly discussed with him I am not looking for a bf/gf relationship at the moment just enjoying seeing what is out there and if I happen to use the majority of my time getting to know him so be it. But I definitely suggested to him that I am social butterfly. I just got out out of a 4 yr relationship so......ya
 
virgo_chinwe said:
Don't get me wrong ladies. I enjoy his company apart from the physical attraction. And honestly, sleeping with him is definitely not a priority...but I don't think honesty is too much to ask for especially since he has name dropped that he wants our relationship to progress into something more serious....with a more serious relationship..ensues more serious questions....
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But you're assuming he's being dishonest. He may not remember or care for that matter. At any rate, his answer let you know he has no intention of telling you when he last had sex whether he remembers or not.

Therefore, it doesn't matter. In this instance I think you should take one for the team and give him the benefit of the doubt.

As far as the more serious the relationship the more serious the questions...this is true. However, there is a way to do everything. When was the last time you had sex does not matter in the grand scheme of things. If you two get serious, asking him if he's currently sleeping with anyone is. How many partners have you had is unimportant. The fact that you are his only current partner is. See what I'm saying?
 
Starian said:
But you're assuming he's being dishonest. He may not remember or care for that matter. At any rate, his answer let you know he has no intention of telling you when he last had sex whether he remembers or not.

Therefore, it doesn't matter. In this instance I think you should take one for the team and give him the benefit of the doubt.

As far as the more serious the relationship the more serious the questions...this is true. However, there is a way to do everything. When was the last time you had sex does not matter in the grand scheme of things. If you two get serious, asking him if he's currently sleeping with anyone is. How many partners have you had is unimportant. The fact that you are his only current partner is. See what I'm saying?
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yes...i do. I guess I am looking for a reason not to give him a chance. I kinda have my ex in the back of my mind...another long story....wowza
 
Maybe he thinks that's a personal question and his "I don't remember" is the courteous thing to do, rather than say "That's none of your business"
 
I think you have every right to inquire (to a point) about someone's sexual history. Asking for names and addresses might be a bit much but general questions should be encouraged. I dont understand why so many have a problem with you asking when this is the exact reason why so many people sexual issues...afraid to open their mouths but will spread them legs in a second..

I'm not sure what or how exactly you asked but like you said you have a physical attraction as well as personal. Maybe he was turned off by the approach, or was surprised or is embarassed. It shouldnt matter though since he claims to want to take the next step. If it takes you asking these questions to take the next step then he should accept or politely decline a relationship and move on. Even if sex isnt a priority right now it obviously plays a role in your relationships.

Hell if I was spending money flying back and forth to see somebody they better be ready with a full health screening before I make a big step or hop my behind on another plane..:yep:
 
Storyteller said:
I think you have every right to inquire (to a point) about someone's sexual history. Asking for names and addresses might be a bit much but general questions should be encouraged. I dont understand why so many have a problem with you asking when this is the exact reason why so many people sexual issues...afraid to open their mouths but will spread them legs in a second..

I'm not sure what or how exactly you asked but like you said you have a physical attraction as well as personal. Maybe he was turned off by the approach, or was surprised or is embarassed. It shouldnt matter though since he claims to want to take the next step. If it takes you asking these questions to take the next step then he should accept or politely decline a relationship and move on. Even if sex isnt a priority right now it obviously plays a role in your relationships.

Hell if I was spending money flying back and forth to see somebody they better be ready with a full health screening before I make a big step or hop my behind on another plane..:yep:
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LOL.....:grin:

But I don't think I asked rudely---maybe I was blunt and direct but I asked inquisitively...
 
Isn't the worst sex...the most memorable? I definitely remember my first kiss...being the worst kiss ever....ever...ever.
 
virgo_chinwe said:
LOL.....:grin:

But I don't think I asked rudely---maybe I was blunt and direct but I asked inquisitively...
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Most people aren't prepared to be asked about something that most of us think should be "personal/behind closed doors" information but if you can have sex you should be ready and mature enough to discuss with your next potential partner.

I don't think he really doesn't remember because whether it was good or bad, 2days ago or 4 yrs, most men will remember the "last" time they had sex because..it was the LAST time! :lachen:My SO remembers times that I swear never happened until he gives me so random detail. lol
 
LOL...and the worst part is for someone who can't answer that question he is so eager to get to business. He's attempted twice unsuccessfully and each time w/o a condom....like I know where he has been...yeah....Maybe I should follow my gut about this guy...Guys are so deaf---I told him not to expect anything out of a commitment and he tries anyway...ay yi yi
 
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