He can be so IGNORANT AND IRRITATING!

[Adaj]

Hey! This is just a rant. Last night, I was lying in bed, playing in my hair. I was trying to stretch the little bit that I have and I said, "Look, babe, you see what shrinkage can do?! I have a little length!" Do you know what this fool's response was? "Your hair grows so slow." I wanted to tell him off, but I calmly said, "Babe, that was very ignorant of you to say that." His rebuttal, "Well, I have gotten THREE haircuts since you have cut your hair off, so that should tell you something." I then told him, "Everyone's hair grows differently." That was the end of that conversation...and I just proceeded to watch the Real Housewives of DC.

He irritated me last night, and I really wanted to tell him off. Don't get me wrong, he always says that he loves my new look and he is glad that I am natural now, but sometimes I feel he can be a little rude about my hair. I have achieved a little length, but one cannot see it unless it's plucked/combed out. Mind you, it's only been 5 weeks post-BC, does he expect me to have APL by now? My coils are TIGHT, and shrinkage is a mutha...

HHG

 

[Mareeღ]

Eh . . . he just doesn't get it, and most likely never will. I don't discuss hair or anything beauty related with my man. The less he knows the better in fact

 

[Sondice]

lol word men are......men, just talk about that kind of stuff w/ your girlfriends

 

[D.Lisha]

smh....men....

 

[Adaj]

lol word men are......men, just talk about that kind of stuff w/ your girlfriends

Sometimes, he can be really supportive...so, that's the only reason why I share my hair issues with him. Oh, and don't let me buy ANY products while I am with him. "Geesh, what's this product for? Don't they all do the same thing?!" Yea, he doesn't get it sometimes. I find myself hiding new products that I have bought so I don't have to hear his mouth.

 

[Chocolatelove2010]

My brother has noticed my new obsession with my hair, and it's only been a week or so.. and the jokes are already flying in.

Just yesterday he said to me 'I pray your hair doesn't grow' after I told him GET OUT OF MY ROOM.

Oh and he always drops that line to me ''I always get haircuts and my hair grows instantly.. but your hair hasn't passed your shoulder since the internet was invented'' The joke is on him because the internet was invented in 1973 (wasn't born then) and it is passed my shoulder.. but he's right.. it's been the same length for years. I'll give him that.

But I don't take what he says seriously.. but I guess it's because he's my brother, and that's how we show our love. My advice to you would be just take it lightly. These men are ignorant to the fact that the longer the length of your hair is,the more you need to take care of it.

OR you can do what I do and say ''forget my hair and work on your abnormal head. I mean what kind of human being has a hexagon shaped head anyways. Sheesh Forget my hair.. and work on your face.. you E.T lookalike.'' kmt.

That's usually how me and bro end our convos.

 

[bride91501]

Don't worry, its not just ur man who doesn't get it. I've been married to mine for 9 years, been with him since we were teens, and he JUST realized 3 years ago that the long flowing hair that hung down my back since I met him wasn't mostly mine lol. I love him, but he could really care less about things related to fashion and hair, my 2 loves lol.

WE can see the growth thouugh, so don't worry about it

 

[SimJam]

sorry that happened to you. Men sometimes speak without thinking smdh

and BTW u look great with your BC !

 

[EllePixie]

I actually try to not talk about hair with my bf anymore b/c because he says dumb stuff...he started growing his hair out too. Here are a few:

"It's going to take three years to grow your hair out? Oh..."
"So you're using horse stuff on your hair now? It's grow it out be any means necessary huh..."
- This one ESPECIALLY annoyed me, b/c he made it sound like I was taking crack or something to grow my hair just b/c MT is a horse product...when it SAYS it can be used on humans and the ingredients aren't crazy...like I don't research the things I use on my hair beforehand...ugh.
"Well, my hair does grow really fast."
- This also annoyed the bejesus out of me, because first off, his hair grows plain old regular speed...he just had to get hair cut more when he had a fade because those can start looking messy quickly.

 

[beans4reezy]

My BF used to tell me that I was doing a million things to my hair and it would never grow. I used to get so offended, but never said anything back. The other day I got my hair relaxed and it was flowing ever so beautifully down my arm pits- he looked at me and said "you look nice" which, I knew was code for, "your hair looks nice/longer" - but he just couldn't bring himself to say it.

Be patient- he will need to eat a plate of crow eventually.

 

[DrC]

Girl, lol. Its no big deal. He ( as well as other men) don't know any better about hair.

 

[Urban]

I'm probably going to get shot for this. But if your hair grows slow, then he was just making an observation. If it grows slow, then it just grows slow. I don't see what the big deal is.

 

[DrC]

I actually try to not talk about hair with my bf anymore b/c because he says dumb stuff...he started growing his hair out too. Here are a few:

"It's going to take three years to grow your hair out? Oh..."

Speaking of that, one of my friends asked me how long has it been since I had a relaxer. I told them almost a year and that I plan on keeping my hair in a protective style for next 7-8 months or so. They were just like appauled, like 'Oh my gosh that is such a long time I can't even go 2 months without--blah blah blah"

And that is the problem; Some don't want to put in the work to grow out their hair, but expect a miracle to come out the blue. Like OP's BF who ( I'm guessing) expected something more, but it goes to show how uneducated, ignorant, and lazy people are about hair growth...especially men.

 

[lilsparkle825]

I have had my fair share of negative/ignorant comments about hair from my ex. I remember once when I was talking about how fast my sister's hair grows, my dad told me "well she got it from me....when I grew my hair out, it grew from a fade to here (points to mid-back) before the end of the summer." Instead of getting all scientific with the 1/2" a month thing, I just

 

[Adaj]

My brother has noticed my new obsession with my hair, and it's only been a week or so.. and the jokes are already flying in.

Just yesterday he said to me 'I pray your hair doesn't grow' after I told him GET OUT OF MY ROOM.

LMAO...I have a little brother, and we are always going at it too! It's all love.

 

[LaFemmeNaturelle]

I'm sorry he upset you and I know how exciting it is to share your hair progress with your SO (it is for me). But my bf says the same thing when I show him BCers who transitioned for while. "That's all she got in ___ months? I would have way longer than that" so I try to challenge him to grow his out so we can see just how fast it will grow lol although I'm pretty sure his hair does grow faster than mine. But I don't let his ignorant comments upset me. Just rolls through one ear and out the other as I imagine his excitement lol

 

[LaFemmeNaturelle]

I have had my fair share of negative/ignorant comments about hair from my ex. I remember once when I was talking about how fast my sister's hair grows, my dad told me "well she got it from me....when I grew my hair out, it grew from a fade to here (points to mid-back) before the end of the summer." Instead of getting all scientific with the 1/2" a month thing, I just

Why do all men swear their hair grows a thousand times faster than ours? The guys in my class with braids would always try to race me smh

 

[Adaj]

Speaking of that, one of my friends asked me how long has it been since I had a relaxer. I told them almost a year and that I plan on keeping my hair in a protective style for next 7-8 months or so. They were just like appauled, like 'Oh my gosh that is such a long time I can't even go 2 months without--blah blah blah"

And that is the problem; Some don't want to put in the work to grow out their hair, but expect a miracle to come out the blue. Like OP's BF who ( I'm guessing) expected something more, but it goes to show how uneducated, ignorant, and lazy people are about hair growth...especially men.

Yea, he expects for me to have a BAA by now. I don't even have a TWA. I wanted to say something to him when he said that he has had THREE haircuts already since my BC. I guess he was trying to say that his hair grows faster, and was trying to imply that perhaps I'm doing something wrong. I can't entertain that boy sometimes...otherwise, I'd be .

 

[MrsHouston]

My brother has noticed my new obsession with my hair, and it's only been a week or so.. and the jokes are already flying in.

Just yesterday he said to me 'I pray your hair doesn't grow' after I told him GET OUT OF MY ROOM.

Oh and he always drops that line to me ''I always get haircuts and my hair grows instantly.. but your hair hasn't passed your shoulder since the internet was invented'' The joke is on him because the internet was invented in 1973 (wasn't born then) and it is passed my shoulder.. but he's right.. it's been the same length for years. I'll give him that.

But I don't take what he says seriously.. but I guess it's because he's my brother, and that's how we show our love. My advice to you would be just take it lightly. These men are ignorant to the fact that the longer the length of your hair is,the more you need to take care of it.

OR you can do what I do and say ''forget my hair and work on your abnormal head. I mean what kind of human being has a hexagon shaped head anyways. Sheesh Forget my hair.. and work on your face.. you E.T lookalike.'' kmt.

That's usually how me and bro end our convos.

Girl, your come backs are too funny.

 

[ms.blue]

How much growth does expect after 5 weeks? Are you suppose to grow an inch a week. Next time he says some dumb remark throw him a dumb remark back.

 

[Adaj]

Why do all men swear their hair grows a thousand times faster than ours? The guys in my class with braids would always try to race me smh

I think about this all the time. For example, my SO's nephew is 3 yrs old--same age as our dd. His nephew's mom cut his hair when he turned 1, and let it grow back ever since. His hair is almost APL, and our dd's hair is just about NL. For the life of me, I don't understand it. Don't shoot me, but sometimes I think boy's/men's hair grows faster....Oh gosh, I feel a pack coming for me now...***goes into hiding***

 

[Chocolatelove2010]

That is so true ladies

My bro is sooooo convinced he could go from no hair to MBL in a year. And because my mum has hair to her tailbone.. the other day he said to me 'Why do you need ALL these products, and drugs (he's talking about my multi-vitamin intake) for your hair to grow.. when all mum does is brush hers''

I just rolled my eyes and he laughed at me like USUAL.

But it's all gooooooooooooooood. I plan to make him eat his words sometime in the future. But knowing him he will just reply ''Yeah but look how much EFFORT you had to put in, you were taking drugs and all sorts''

It's a no-win situation with men.

 

[EllePixie]

Why do all men swear their hair grows a thousand times faster than ours? The guys in my class with braids would always try to race me smh

I read that it does grow faster, but from what they say you would think that their hair is running away from their brains...

ETA: I found the post! http://thenaturalhaven.blogspot.com/2010/08/does-male-hair-grow-faster-than-female.html

 

[DrC]

How much growth does expect after 5 weeks? Are you suppose to grow an inch a week. Next time he says some dumb remark throw him a dumb remark back.

Or make him sleep on the couch.....

 

[LaFemmeNaturelle]

I read that it does grow faster, but from what they say you would think that their hair is running away from their brains...

ETA: I found the post! http://thenaturalhaven.blogspot.com/2010/08/does-male-hair-grow-faster-than-female.html

Based one on study done in the 70s. SOME men's hair grow faster just like some women's hair grow faster. But I haven't read the study so idk what sample they used and the demographics. But it depends on much more than your genitals and testosterone and I've read an article that claims women's hair grow faster. The guys with braids never beat me I've also beat out numerous guys in the facial/body hair department unfortunately so those underrepresented studies don't satisfy me. So I don't worry about who can grow faster than whom, I'm just tryna grow mine

 

[Adaj]

I actually try to not talk about hair with my bf anymore b/c because he says dumb stuff...he started growing his hair out too. Here are a few:
"So you're using horse stuff on your hair now? It's grow it out be any means necessary huh..."
- This one ESPECIALLY annoyed me, b/c he made it sound like I was taking crack or something to grow my hair just b/c MT is a horse product...when it SAYS it can be used on humans and the ingredients aren't crazy...like I don't research the things I use on my hair beforehand...ugh.
.

OH! When I was using MegaTek, I had to hide it from him because I knew for a fact he would've said something out his mouth that would have made me gone mad. That thing stayed in my drawer.

My BF used to tell me that I was doing a million things to my hair and it would never grow. I used to get so offended, but never said anything back. The other day I got my hair relaxed and it was flowing ever so beautifully down my arm pits- he looked at me and said "you look nice" which, I knew was code for, "your hair looks nice/longer" - but he just couldn't bring himself to say it.

Be patient- he will need to eat a plate of crow eventually.

I get that alot also. "You are doing TOO much to your hair...just leave it alone, and maybe you will see growth."

I'm probably going to get shot for this. But if your hair grows slow, then he was just making an observation. If it grows slow, then it just grows slow. I don't see what the big deal is.

I'm fine with the rate that my hair grows. It just irks me to hear him say slick remarks. He looks at the board with me from time to time, and is amazed at some of the heads of hair on here. He's infatuated with long hair, so...He's learning, though. I have to get him out of that mindset.

I'm sorry he upset you and I know how exciting it is to share your hair progress with your SO (it is for me).

I love sharing info with him. I love showing him the board, also. He can just be slick...and I'll check him sometimes...other times, I just let it go.

How much growth does expect after 5 weeks? Are you suppose to grow an inch a week. Next time he says some dumb remark throw him a dumb remark back.

I will! I do sometimes, but it leads to bickering...and I don't have the patience to go back and forth with him.

 

[EllePixie]

And speaking of men...I saw my friend last night for the first time in a few months, and last time I saw him my hair hadn't started flopping in my face yet. And he's like, "What did you do to your hair? It looks more feminine..." I was like..."Uh, it grew? You know, hair does that..."

Do men not understand the concept that hair grows back? And that many women BC just to get to their natural hair texture then grow it out? Why are you acting surprised that I wasn't trying to walk around with one inch of hair forever?!?!?

See..now you've got me ranting, lol!

 

[LadyPBC]

Ladies - let's bring the male bashing to an end. I sympathize but let's be honest. Aren't they saying what we at one time said or thought about hair until we were better informed? Healthy hair and growth is our fascination not theirs. We spend hours on the hair board they'll drop in to see what's going on from time to time but no real deep interest by them - right. Perhaps we can just use their seemingly insensitive comments as a teaching moment to make them more aware. I mean really whoever heard of using horse products on our hair or products you give to dogs, cats etc. to clean out your own system and grow your hair. Most women I talk to (since I have become a better informed healthy hair guru [yeah right] are surprised at the household products I use. In the beginning they were looking at me like WTFool have you done to your hair but now they are admitting that I inspired them to make the journey (we never even spoke about it) and ask for advice.

 

[EllePixie]

I see your point but it's not really what they say, it's how they say it - as if they know what they are talking about. And yes, I have an issue with people making statements without any knowledge (For the record, I never really commented on hair in that manner - I used Mane and Tail as a child, and mayo, egg, olive oil...so nothing seems that out of the ordinary to me. If it seems really weird, I research it before I comment on it).

If I made an ignorant comment about sports to my boyfriend, he'd probably chew me out lol...that's all I'm saying!

 

[lea86111]

yeah men can be mighty annoying! I remember when i was dating my ex like 4 yrs ago i really wanted to grow my hair but didn't really know how. I thought, well, i'll braid it up for a year and then we'll see. Meanwhile i would talk to him about my hair so he knew how much i wanted to grow it. I only braided my hair for like maybe 6 months and when he saw it, it was @ his house and a friend of his was there as well. Tell me y this FOOL proceeded to MAKE FUN of my hair and say how short it still was. WTF? Like seriously? And his boy was there!!!! I was so livid...it escalated into a big argument. I felt disrespected and disregarded...smh. A little tact would've been nice. My next bf met me when i was natural but in braids/wigs and i told him i was natural and when i had bc'd, but i didn't wanna show my hair yet. He begged for me to show it and he was sweet =) he said my hair had grown a lot considering when i had bc'd.