IGNORANT ignorant or just ignorant?

[HoneyRockette]

My sister's boss made a comment today about her hair and she doesn't know what to think of it. She and another AA co worker were sitting around talking about their braids, like how long it took and how much it cost. Their supervisor, who is Caucasian and male, overheard them and he said that all women should just shave their heads bald because they spend way too much time and money on their hair. My cousin replied, "I've been completely bald and that too requires time and money to maintain." Her boss was shocked. He said, "But you have so much hair now! You couldn't have been bald! You're just saying that!" Her co worker then replied, "Demi Moore shaved her head for GI Jane and now her hair is to her waist." Her supervisor was like, "Yeah but she's white." My sister is mad because she thinks he was implying that black women CAN'T grow their hair, so once they shave it bald, they are bald for life. I just thought it was an ignorant comment, not ignorant like intentionally ignorant, but like he didn't know better. Either way she is furious. What do you think of that?

 

[Teva]

LOL!! I do not think that he meant it to be mean. Whites do notice that Black women don't have very long hair. Plus with all the silly jokes you hear on Comedy Shows that expose black women's beauty secrets, such as weaves and braids. It is not surprising that they think that we can't grow hair.

 

[gvsugirl]

I'd be mad

 

[cybra]

Well IMO, he is ignorant on both counts. Any intelligent person knows a person's hair grows even after death...yes, that's right! So, how could he possibly think AA's hair can't grow once cut off?...that lacks both common sense and book sense. Also, he may have made the remark out of covert racism. Some whites feel they are not racist, but maintain very racist views about other ethnicities. I don't know this man so I refuse to pass any biased judgements or judgements out of hurt on him, but I think working under someone who has such beliefs would be uncomfortable for me.

I know not having a full understanding about another ethnicity is possible. For example, I once had a girlfriend, who is white, who ran a daycare out of her home. She came to me in tears one evening over something that had happened with one of the parents. Annie (my friend) had always believed that when AA's washed, some of their brown coloring came off. Well, she having two daughters would recall how their dead skin would come off, and thus believed since theirs came off in their skin tones, the same would be true of AA. Well operating under this notion, she went out and bought colored wash rags to clean up the AA kids after they played. Well, on this particular day, a mom noticed that she got white or light colored rags for the white kids, and dark colored rags for all the AA children when she cleaned then. The mom became angry and told her she was pulling her child out of her daycare because of her discriminatory practices. This mom went and called all the other AA moms and told them what she observed, they too came and got their children, some even leaving behind some choice words. Well, out of hurt and confusion Annie came to me. I told her that our skin color did not come off...and I even proceded to take a paper towel, dampen and soap it, and then run it across my arm to confirm what I had said. Annie cried for over 30 mins. in disbelief and embarrassment over her ignorance. I was not angry and I just hugged her. She honestly did not know, and she felt comfortable with our friendship to ask me. Well needless to say, the loss of so many children had an impact on her business, but she did get more AA children and used whatever wash rag she picked up to clean them.

In this case it was not actions or words done to hurt. I think your sis's boss wanted to try to "stick one to them" with his remark. But like I said, I don't know this man and I could be wrong. Your sis may just want to observe him a little more and then make a final decision about him.

 

[dontspeakdefeat]

Ma, you always have something wise to say!

 

[buffalosoldier]

That supervisor is just ignorant there is no excuse. I cant believe some of the things that come out of peoples mouths. You almost have to feel sorry for them.
Once I was covering a class of all latina teenage girls and I over heard them saying 'black people dont wash their hair'. I just sat there and silently counted to 10 ha ha ha. Their ignorance is their problem.

There are so many misconceptions about black people it is unreal and people say them as though they are scientific facts.

here are a few that arent hair related but oh well...feel free to add any you've heard

lets see who can come up with the most stupidest one

Black people cant swim cos they have big hands and feet
Black people cant swim cos they cant float
Black people are better athletes cos their bones are different to 'normal' bones

 

[dontspeakdefeat]

....Black people can't get sunburned because they can't tan!

 

[Guest]

[ QUOTE ]
Re: IGNORANT ignorant or just ignorant?

[/ QUOTE ]

Definitely ALL THREE

 

[buffalosoldier]

[ QUOTE ]
dontspeakdefeat said:
....Black people can't get sunburned because they can't tan!

[/ QUOTE ]

LoL

I'm very light and this summer I burnt badly and at least 3 people expressed surprise that I could burn especially as I'm so dark....

 

[Victorian]

I remember once I was at yosemite with some people in my dorm freshman year, and when we were about to go hiking, everyone was pulling out their sunscreen and mine had the highest spf of everybody's (50). No one said anything ignorant or offensive but there was this general AWE that I was putting on sunblock. Someone did ask politely if I had ever gotten sunburned. It was an honest question, out of curiosity. I mean it is a pretty common misconception that people with darker skin don't ever get sunburns, even some black people don't think they need sunblock. Anyway I informed him that I had to be outside a LONG time before I would actually burn but I still start tanning pretty quick. Tanning is your skin's defense against harmful rays so if you're getting a tan then your skin is being damaged. So that's why I wear sunscreen. I don't want to get wrinkly any faster than I have to, and I'm not going to make myself more susceptible to skin cancer because I'm too lazy to put on some lotion before I go out. So then everyone was like, "Ohhh" like they had just been elightened or something

And I suppose they had...So in this case it wasn't the kind of ignorant with a bad connotation, it was the honest-to-goodness, "I just didn't know" ignorance.

 

[asummertyme]

humph, i dont know what to think of this, but i too would observe him longer to see if he is just a jerk or if he genuinly made the comment not knowing, i would hope he didnt have the ordasity to say such a dumb and stupid comment, and thought it would be funny, i had a asain lady say to me as she was doing my nails , how when she would do a bikini wax on clients , "that their hair grows so nasty , SLOPPY and wild" ....she said "ill".... chinese people hair grows neat...when she said " their" i knew she meant AA b/c this is a black area.....and the messed up part about it was , i am AA , and she felt as if this was a juicy peice of gossip that she was telling me about another race...and and im like lady cant you see my color... STRAIT UP IGNORANT!!

 

[Supergirl]

i agree, sounds like he's just ignorant. and a man too? men are much more clueless about hair too.

 

[dontspeakdefeat]

[ QUOTE ]
buffalosoldier said:
[ QUOTE ]
dontspeakdefeat said:
....Black people can't get sunburned because they can't tan!

[/ QUOTE ]

LoL

I'm very light and this summer I burnt badly and at least 3 people expressed surprise that I could burn especially as I'm so dark....

[/ QUOTE ]

People are ignorant. I am a regular ole brown person and I get sunburned too. In the summer I always get a shade darker. Sunscreen is always key for me. SPF 45.

 

[L.Mo.]

[ QUOTE ]
buffalosoldier said:

Black people cant swim cos they have big hands and feet
Black people cant swim cos they cant float
Black people are better athletes cos their bones are different to 'normal' bones

[/ QUOTE ]

Hmm... can you float?!? 'Cause I sure can't!!!

Ha, ha. Seriously, I can't 'cause I have way too much muscle mass relative to body fat. I thought this was true... If it's not, then some of us perpetuate the myths! Sorry... I can <font color="blue"> </font> swim (on the bottom), but I definitely cannot float.

 

[Valerie]

I really don't know what to say, that he could be generally ignorant or really ignorant, but there is so much rubbish said about us.

 

[ms_kenesha]

I agree that their are so many myths/stereotypes about blacks and people take them as truth. Cybra, I think you pointed out a good point about some people's genuine ignorance. I think this man crossed the line from ignorance to benign racism when he said "Yeah but she's white." about Demi Moore growing her hair back, obviously Serei's friend had hair now and she told him she had once shaved hers so why make the point about Demi's whiteness when the proof was essentially in the pudding!

 

[Whisper]

some people just care not to understand
being "trained" for so long by societal,historical influences

 

[buffalosoldier]

Hmm... can you float?!? 'Cause I sure can't!!!

LOL Im not big on swimming but I think I can float if I really had to like play dead if a shark was around

But seriously though at the world swimming champs this year there were quite a few black swimmers which is a first and was very nice to see. I know some people were probably thinking 'oh no first golf, then tennis and next will be swimming..' (Joke!!)

 

[diamondlady]

You know, we can't really get mad at White people for being ignorant when it's Black people they get their ignorant ideas from. Countless times I heard Black make statements like "Black babies always have hair, White babies are bald but in the end White people have all the hair, and Black women are nearly bald".

Any time a Black woman walks into anywhere with long hair, other Black people start whispering, "Do you think it's real?"

How can we be mad at White people when they hear things from Black people and they assume Black people know about Black people.

 

[queenofmean68]

I have to interject here:

Hair does NOT grow after death. What happens is that the skin/scalp no long has its elasticity--and it "draws" tight, thus giving the appearance that the hair has grown when actually all that has happened is that the hair that lies beneath the skin/scalp's surface has now been exposed.

As far as that supervisor goes....I would take the issue to HR and request that he take diversity and sensitivity training. If the company does not want to comply---she may have to file a formal complaint. By no means should she keep quiet about this, because if she doesn't speak up he will continue to make ignorant comments like this, which will eventually result in a "hostile" work environment for her and other African Americans as well.

 

[Supergirl]

Good suggestion Queen.

 

[inthepink]

I'm with Queen and Supergirl, That is definitely a diversity issue and would never fly at my company. You just could NEVER get away with saying something like that!

 

[hera]

so what...

I'm sorry...I think my comment may cause some of you to wish for a red hot to run through my hair but I think some of us(women of color) get way too upset when some people(not black) make silly comments. What do you expect from someone who doesn't know better? I'm usually the only black chick where I work and I've had to deal with it almost every week...plus the black woman's horror of having them touch your hair without permission? I've heard the long hair comment that white chicks can grow hair faster. Why not just set them straight? - If you really care to take the time..if you don't..it's okay.

My coworkers have seen me thru dreads, braids, weaves, twists pressed, short hair ..long hair...they're learned because I've never really been stuck on weaves and straight hair so they get the catolog of black hair style. They get some of their reasonablly less silly questions answered and they've learned to not touch the hair...especially this one guy who's cool but didn't know the rule of personal space and would keep touching my hair everytime I got a new style even though I told him not... till I started running my hand thru his hair and ruffling it up...and he got the message(tell them you don't like it). Look...you can always tell if it's a real mean comment or a stupid one...so you can deal with it or correct them. 95% of the time - they're in a situation where they don't live with a black person enough to see their hair routine, they don't know black hair care and what little they know..they blow it out their asses. Worse too? If you ever find yourself dating outside your race..you have to answer even sillier questions...if they're worth it..you answer the questions..or you ignore them and give them the look(like I do

) Also you can really tell that they have no clue when you're friends with white women who adopt or have black/bi-racial kids and you see their poor heads. I've had to buy a book for a friend whose girl's hair was kept in an afro because she didn't know what to do....granted the kid now looks like a poster child for corn rows and has enough barrets/thingies in her hair to make a christmas tree jealous - at least her hair is not so dry and damaged anymore plus she actually understands my hair routine.

 

[cybra]

I stand corrected! I guess that is the actual explanation for the extra length to hair after death. I do apologize because all I knew was the finding that hair was a little longer after death...I'm not a doctor, nor do I practice medicine, so I didn't know the medical cause for this event. Thanks for enlightening me.

 

[Boadicea]

[ QUOTE ]
cybra said:
Any intelligent person knows a person's hair grows even after death...yes, that's right!

[/ QUOTE ]

Actually, it doesn't. The body simply shrinks and shrivels making the hair appear as if it has grown.

I think that was an ignorant thing to have said and I probably would have been mad too.